A fresh start

It’s been a couple of days since we settled into our new place, with nearly everything unpacked and put away. We’re still organizing as we go of course, but for the most part it’s all where it needs to be or at least close by. And both cats have been monitoring and supervising every step of the way.

I made the decision early on to keep a lot of my stuff down in the garage storage until further notice so as to not crowd everything in our now-shared office. This means that most of my notebooks, early writings, journals, and so on are down there, still easy to access but locked away. It occurred to me that I don’t need them immediately. Not to worry, they’re in closed plastic bins and out of harm’s way. [And besides, my juvenilia has definitely seen worse storage times.] Whenever I finally get around to restarting the scanning project, they’ll be ready to go.

In the midst of all this, I realized that this gives me the opportunity for a completely fresh start here in the new office. When you’re living in the same place for over fifteen years, it’s kind of hard to go cold turkey on some of the habits and processes you’ve become so used to. So instead of trying to find where I left off with all of that journaling and longhand writing and so on, I’m just going to start a new moleskine notebook. Spend a little more time just enjoying listening to music instead of obsessively collecting and organizing it. Pick up those art supplies and have some fun during downtime. And most importantly, instead of finding a place to put up my whiteboard schedule (and not wanting to damage these pristine walls on day one), I’m just going to try my hand at working without one.

This doesn’t mean abandoning my two current projects, of course. I’ll need to pick up where I left off with the Trilogy Remaster, and I still need to finish off Theadia and start in on its revision and eventual publication. Those two have been at the front of my mind ever since we started this whole moving house chaos two months ago. Give me a day or so and I should be back on track!

Do I know where I’m going to go from here? Not entirely…but I’d like to think that’s a good thing. I’ve given myself a clean slate as it were, and I definitely need to allow myself to experience those more often.

Editing and tidying up

I’m just shy of the halfway point in the Great Trilogy Remaster for A Division of Souls, which is a very good thing. That should leave me quite a lot of time on the back end to give it one more ‘bedtime reread’ (where my mistakes seem to make themselves the most visible) before releasing it out into the world come September.

It’s been ages since I’ve allowed myself to get this close to the Mendaihu Universe to the point where all the right things resonate. I’m using this to my advantage, because this means I know exactly what I was trying to do with the book. This also means that I know exactly where I didn’t quite pull that off. Anytime I find a moment that feels a bit rushed or confusing, too repetitive, or a potential continuity problem, I’m fixing it right there and then.

It’s also a different process than I’ve been used to since I first completed and released the third book in 2017. Whether it’s due to the writing styles or the shorter lengths, my later standalones went through a somewhat different process. I didn’t feel I had to immerse myself that deeply. Not that that was a bad thing, but over the years I began to miss that. Over the next few years I proved to myself that I could write econo, and enjoyed it just as much…but I missed the intensity of the deep dive. The full immersion.

I know, I know…I’ve brought this up a few times here already, but it constantly weighs on my mind while I work on this remaster. Writing the trilogy was such a powerful and life-changing event for me in that my writing chops escalated considerably within the span of just a few years, and it only got better once I started the original revision and self-publication process. Coming back to it again at this time feels like picking up where I left off, and hopefully I’ll be moving ever forward.

Deep dive

That’s what I’ve been calling it lately: the process I used when originally writing the Bridgetown Trilogy. And it all started because I felt I hadn’t gone far enough with The Phoenix Effect.

By the time I was writing True Faith in 1995, I felt I at least had gotten the hang of the science fiction genre, and had gotten even further two years later with TPE, but at the same time I knew there was something wrong. There didn’t seem to be any issue with the universe I was creating, and I definitely felt that writing dialogue was one of my stronger creative traits…but it still felt off.

It didn’t take me long to figure out that it was the prose itself.

The problem was that my novel didn’t sound like one. It sounded more like an extremely detailed outline. And that had always been a problem with my work then…I thought I had some really neat ideas, but I was definitely failing in the execution of them. There was plenty of action, but my novel read more like a descriptive ‘A happens, B reacts, C happens, D causes a shift, etc.’ and less of an actual story. I resonated deeply with this tale about underground hackers, spiritual magic and otherworldly kinship…but none of that resonance was coming through at all.

So by 2001 or so, while working on TPE‘s revision and slogging my way through its sequel and getting nowhere, I realized that I needed to do something about it. I wanted to do better. I needed to do better. So one afternoon I decided I was going to completely rewrite it. I mean, start from scratch. Tell the whole dang story from Nehalé’s awakening ritual to the end, and do it right.

The only way I knew how to do this at the time was to do a deep dive. Instead of writing in that old outline style, I was going to make damn sure that every single scene resonated with me. It was a bit like method acting, to be honest: become the novel. Figure out why Nehalé did what he did. Understand the actions and reactions of Caren and Poe and everyone else. And don’t just be flippant about it; those actions and reactions were also part of the story, because it was who they were, and the consequences of their actions were also part of it.

By the time I’d gotten about five or six chapters in on this new version, I’d realized I’d only gotten through maybe two chapters of The Phoenix Effect, and this was EXACTLY what I’d been aiming for. So I just kept going, and eventually wrote myself an almost complete trilogy by the spring of 2005.

*

I bring this up now for two reasons:

One, after completing and self-publishing the Bridgetown Trilogy, I knew I had more to learn. I could definitely write doorstop epic novels at that point, now I wanted to prove to myself that I could ‘write econo’ (hat tip to The Minutemen, heh), so I started writing much shorter standalones. I’m quite proud of them all, especially Diwa & Kaffi, which I still feel is my best book to date. Even despite the urge to write the fourth book in the Mendaihu Universe, I wanted to stick with shorter works until I felt confident enough.

Two, it was the writing of the still-unfinished Theadia that made me realize that perhaps I was ready to do another one of those deep dives. This is another book I resonate deeply with…and like the trilogy, another book I feel isn’t quite there yet because it too needs a deep dive. Over the course of 2024 I tried the rewrite method, but somehow it still doesn’t feel complete yet. I still haven’t gone deep enough.

Fast forward to January 2025 and I’m focusing on the Trilogy Remaster and also revisiting the several sounds and words that surrounded its original writing, and I’m struck by another resonance that I’d almost forgotten about: this was how deep I’d gone with the trilogy! It had become a part of my life then, socially and creatively, and I loved every minute of it, and that was something that had been missing from my writing life for far too long, even before the revival of the trilogy in 2009.

As I’d mentioned briefly in last week’s blog entry, I feel I’ve come full circle, having learned several things along the way, and now I’m ready to cast the anchor and say this is where I belong. This is the style I love the most, yet it’s a style I haven’t allowed myself to return to. Or more to the point, I’d almost completely forgotten how to get back there in the first place, and it took several things falling perfectly into place for it to return.

Does this mean that my future novels are going to be epic in length? I can’t answer that because other than MU4 and Theadia, I don’t know where my next ideas might come from. But I can safely say that those two projects, at least, will be a return to the deep dive.

Searching for words

I’ve finally gotten myself into the daily habit of playing a round of playing Squaredle, an online word search game. I’ve always been a sucker for a good word search (I have a few issues of Penny’s Finest Word Seeks on my desk here in Spare Oom) as I find it both distracting in a positive way, and a good use of brain focus, something I’ve been trying to fix for some time.

I’ll be honest, one of the main reasons is because otherwise I find myself doomscrolling on social media during my break times at the day job. I’ll completely admit that I fall way too easily into that trap, and I’ve been needing to escape it for a while now. I tend to hyperfocus on various things and this game is at least something that gets my mind moving and not my blood pressure. I used to do the same thing back during my college years, buying those same word search magazines from the local CVS as a way to dial back the stress of academia. And now that I think about it, those pre-writing session games of FreeCell did the same job of calming my head and helping me properly shift focus.

Whatever works, yeah?

And speaking of searching for words, while working on the Trilogy Remaster I found myself dusting off my copy of Barbara Ann Kipfer’s Flip Dictionary for the first time in ages, a reference book I’d used several times during the writing of the three books. It was an amusing and pleasant reminder of how much I enjoyed going that extra step of trying to find that perfect word that made my prose just that little bit more exciting. I think I used it during the writing of my other books, but not nearly as much as I did the trilogy, and I’m curious as to why. Perhaps I knew what words I needed, but maybe it was also part of my “writing econo” idea I’d had, keeping the prose a bit more simple and less flowery.

I think what I’m trying to get at is that I feel like I’ve been coming full circle lately in terms of writing. I’ve tried all sorts of different formats, lengths, styles and even reference material, and now I feel it’s time for me to return to the ways I love the most.

It’s part of the learning process, I suppose, and I do love the idea of constantly evolving, but I think I’m also at the point where I can safely put down an anchor and say this is where I belong.

Keeping deadlines and rethinking priorities

It’s not Theadia I’m worried about, actually. It’s A Division of Souls. Against my better judgement, I’m going to try to get the “remastered” version of my first novel ready for an early September release for its tenth anniversary. That gives me about nine months to get my butt in gear and get it done. Can I do it?

Well, I’m reasonably sure I can do it, at any rate. It’s not as if I’m completely rewriting the whole thing! As I’ve mentioned before, this revision that I’m calling a ‘remaster’ is merely updating a story I’ve spent several years on, and want to update it so it fits my current level of quality. I’m not embarrassed by it, but I can definitely see places where I could have done a lot better work on it.

At the same time, I worry that Theadia will fall by the wayside again. That won’t happen if I don’t let it, of course. I just have to shift priorities. Besides, I want to do that novel justice, and right now it still feels like it still contains a lot of gaps that need filling. [I mean, aside from its still being unfinished at this time.] The two projects are very similar in scope, I think. Both are Big Stories with an extended cast, featuring events that affect not just the main characters but everyone around them.

Both are also stories where I wanted to make some kind of statement. The Bridgetown Trilogy is about listening to and trusting the true spirit within — in short, trusting yourself, your instincts, and your emotions. Theadia is about wanting to do the right thing not only for your own benefit but for others — in short, understanding the consequences of your actions. And I feel that for both statements, I can’t really allow the stories to be half-assed.

This is definitely going to stress me out a bit in the next few months, but if I take it day by day, keep to my deadlines and stay focused, I shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

Just another reminder…!

It’s that time of the year again! ALL SEVEN of my books are here for free from now until the end of the year! You know you want ’em!

You can find my books right here at this link!

Yes, this includes:
A Division of Souls (The Bridgetown Trilogy, Book 1) [2015]
The Persistence of Memories (The Bridgetown Trilogy, Book 2) [2016]
The Balance of Light (The Bridgetown Trilogy, Book 3) [2017]
Meet the Lidwells! A Rock ‘n’ Roll Family Memoir [2018]
In My Blue World [2019]
Diwa & Kaffi [2023]
Queen Ophelia’s War [2024]

Do you love an epic metaphysical sci-fi adventure? Try the Bridgetown Trilogy!
A big fan of music memoirs? Meet the Lidwells is a fictional nod to one of my favorite genres!
Enjoy magical girls and time travel fantasy? Try out In My Blue World!
In the mood for a nice Ghibli-esque hopepunk story about best friends? You’ll love Diwa & Kaffi!
Looking for a fantasy story about self-discovery? Queen Ophelia’s War is for you!

And who knows, maybe I’ll finally get Theadia on this list next year, once I finally finish the dang thing! Heh.

Thank you for reading!!

Future plans…?

First off: Just another quick reminder that it’s that time of the year again! ALL SEVEN of my books are here FOR FREE from now until the end of the year! You know you want ’em!

You can find my books right here at this link!

**

So it’s usually about this time that I start blogging philosophical, thinking about what I’ve done this year and what I plan to do during the next. Anything different this time out, then…?

On a personal level, I spent a lot of time giving myself a bit of long-awaited mental and emotional stability, especially after a few personal events early in the year. I put a lot of things to rest and allowed other things to come to the surface. Writingwise I spent a lot of 2024 finishing and releasing Queen Ophelia’s War and focusing on Theadia…and mainly reminding myself that it’s just fine to focus on one or two projects and let any others come when I’m good and ready. The end result is that I felt even more grounded than I’d ever been in years, and that’s all I really asked for.

As for 2025…? Again, writingwise I have three somewhat concrete plans: to release Theadia, to start MU4, and release a “remaster/remix” of A Division of Souls for its tenth anniversary. The former I’m working on as we speak, and I’ll be starting the latter two in earnest come the new year. [I mean, it makes sense for me to work on two projects from the same created universe at the same time, right?]

As for personal…? That’s a very good question. I’m in a good place right now. Sure, I have some ideas I’d like to try out, some personal choices and decisions and whatnot. But I think what’s different this time out is a feeling of trust and confidence. I mean, that’s a big part of what I’d been working on over the last couple of years, and I’m finally at the payoff end of things. So if anything, I think I’m ready for something new. Something I’ve been wanting to do and haven’t given myself time or permission for.

Do I even have a plan? Who knows? We shall see…

Oh hey, it’s free book time again!

It’s that time of the year again! ALL SEVEN of my books are here for free from now until the end of the year! You know you want ’em!

You can find my books right here at this link!

Yes, this includes:
A Division of Souls (The Bridgetown Trilogy, Book 1) [2015]
The Persistence of Memories (The Bridgetown Trilogy, Book 2) [2016]
The Balance of Light (The Bridgetown Trilogy, Book 3) [2017]
Meet the Lidwells! A Rock ‘n’ Roll Family Memoir [2018]
In My Blue World [2019]
Diwa & Kaffi [2023]
Queen Ophelia’s War [2024]

Do you love an epic metaphysical sci-fi adventure? Try the Bridgetown Trilogy!
A big fan of music memoirs? Meet the Lidwells is a fictional nod to one of my favorite genres!
Enjoy magical girls and time travel fantasy? Try out In My Blue World!
In the mood for a nice Ghibli-esque hopepunk story about best friends? You’ll love Diwa & Kaffi!
Looking for a fantasy story about self-discovery? Queen Ophelia’s War is for you!

And who knows, maybe I’ll finally get Theadia on this list next year, once I finally finish the dang thing! Heh.

Thank you for reading!!

Distraction, or just too busy?

I seem to be running out of time to write lately, and it’s bothersome.

To be honest, it’s not as if I’m overly distracted or simply just procrastinating these days. I’ll still deal with the Don’t Wannas every now and again, but for the most part I’ve been doing good. Just…not giving myself enough time.

Part of it lately is that I’ve been working a few odd hours at the Day Job that get me out around 4pm instead of 2pm, which leaves me with a few hours to hang with A and the cats until after dinner, by which time I end up scrunching multiple things into about an hour and a half of time. And to be honest, that ain’t working.

One thing I should probably do is prep multiple blog entries on the same day like I used to — that can easily be done if I give myself time to think about what I want to write about. And though I truly enjoy using the 750Words site, I think I’m at a point where I don’t need to work there right now. At this point writing there is more about getting those words done than using it for various projects. I’m not abandoning it, of course…I’m merely putting it aside.

The other thing I need to do is lay some ground rules, specifically one: what project(s) needs the most focus right now? In this case, I have two I want to focus on: finishing Theadia and starting the remaster of A Division of Souls. I already have schedule plans for each, so that shouldn’t be a problem. And when I’m done with Theadia then I can finally shift the bulk of my focus on writing MU4.

So yeah, I don’t think it’s distraction, at least not right now. Just needing to rethink my schedule a bit.

Darkness and Light

So on Sunday morning as I was lying in bed, having just woken but too lazy to get up and feed the cats just yet, I started thinking about a new way to approach writing MU4. I’ve written at least three or four different openings, and yet none of them felt quite right. The current one is close to what I need…but the scene itself happens way too early in the story. I needed something to build up to that.

The good thing about lying there and letting my thoughts quietly meander for a bit is that I wasn’t trying so hard to figure it out this time. And that’s when it occurred to me: I needed to return to the original theme of the trilogy in order to move forward. That theme, of course, was balance. One character playing the role of spiritual balance to another. One action balancing out another. One dwelling in darkness, the other in light. This story focuses more on internal balances than spiritual or religious ones, even though those two still play an important part in the Mendaihu Universe.

The focus here, then, is on my two main characters: one whose life is chaos and wishes for order, and one whose life is rigid order and wishes for freedom. Both have a common goal of mental, emotional and spiritual balance, even though they’re coming from complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Which of course inspires the same question I had for Denni and Saisshalé in the trilogy: what is the red string that bonds them together? Are they enemies or are they allies? Are they bound to negate each other’s strengths, or are they to work together to become even stronger?

The good thing about this, even as I lay there with one cat staring impatiently at me and my brain in dire need of caffeine, is that this has gotten me even closer to the story I want to tell here. And that’s what I’ve been waiting for. All I need to do is start it.