MU Chronology: to the warehouse

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The above is the main Yankee Candle warehouse building, which opened up for business in April of 2001. My friend Bruce and I were some of the first people offering to test out the brand spankin’ new equipment before it all went live. It’s a huge building that was built to centralize the shipping, receiving, order fulfillment and storage departments all under one roof. We worked in shipping, which is in the top left corner of this picture (where all those trailers are parked in back), with eighteen bays if I recall. The entire right side of that building from this view is multi-level pallet storage, with the receiving docks in the rear as well. I worked in this building from April 2001 up until I left in March of 2005.

This is also the main inspiration for Moulding Warehouse in the Bridgetown Trilogy. I’d actually come up with the idea for that warehouse at our older building south of there on an inventory day during my brief second-shift days, but it was here that I’d solidified the idea and expanded upon it. I remember early on that I pulled a few building managers aside and asked about the specs, explaining my idea of turning the storage bays into a sort of multi-level cubicle hotel of sorts. They were rather amused by my creativity but confirmed that it could actually work as the framework was solid and buried deep into the concrete floor. [Note: the building’s name in the trilogy comes from XTC member Colin Moulding, one of my many Tuckerizations in this universe.]

While revisiting the MU chronology recently, I further realized that the date I started working in this building does in fact line up with when I wrote those scenes about the awakened converging upon Moulding Warehouse and Nehalé Usarai worrying about keeping everything under control. I remember taking my time on A Divison of Souls for fear of rushing it like I had with The Phoenix Effect, so while I was definitely working on it nearly every day from this point onwards, I was hitting probably around five hundred words to begin with. I’d slowly expand on that over the course of writing it, and by the time I started The Persistence of Memories I was aiming more towards a thousand. My favorite thing to do during slow moments of my shift was taking a bit of scrap paper and working out the next few scenes (often with one of those many boxes we shifted as a temporary desk), so that when my nightly writing sessions began I could start immediately.

And for a sense of its vastness, below is a shot of my department from the upper level of the shipping/receiving offices (itself an inspiration for the warehouse mezzanine scenes in the trilogy) from a video I found online sometime ago. Our job was to build pallets from the boxes that came down those chutes, wrap them up in plastic (the wrapper machines were underneath the chutes) and get them into the trailers (the bays are at the wall out of shot to the right). This seems to be filmed in the summer when it was relatively light, as this area would be filled to the brim and full of chaos during the Q4 holiday season. It would take us a good couple of minutes to walk from our department to the front of the building when we left for the day. This is why Moulding comes across as an incredibly large warehouse where several characters could either find privacy or gather together in large numbers with room to spare.

It was certainly an exhausting and very noisy job at times, especially during the holiday season, but at the same time it was an enjoyable one that kept me constantly moving instead of sedentary. I was blessed by the fact that it gave me all sorts of time to think about my writing with very little interruption, and a schedule that provided me with a broad length of personal time to work with. It’s an extremely productive benchmark that’s been tough to reach ever since, but these days I’ve been doing pretty good at getting close.

Writing during vacation?

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I’m looking forward to next week as we’ll both be on a well-earned week’s vacation just before the hijinks of Q4 really start kicking in at our respective jobs. Neither of us have any real plans other than perhaps a day trip to see the in-laws or gallivant around the city for an afternoon, weather permitting. We just want a bit of downtime where we can sleep in, enjoy ourselves and not have to rush.

Which of course brings up the question: will I get any writing work done then?

I suppose it depends on what we end up doing on any of those days, and whether I decide to set aside an hour or so for it. This week is reserved for some of the last minute prep work for the Remaster release of The Persistence of Memories — adjusting the hyperlinks, any last minute cleanup, uploading the files and ensuring the layout works, and setting a drop date. Stuff that I can easily do in a few days at most.

But do I have anything planned after that? Well, I have been toying with a few ideas for both Theadia and the fourth Mendaihu Universe books, and this would be a great time to spend a bit of time fleshing those ideas out and seeing if they work. I’m not going to force it, but I would like to at least make an effort when I’m already planning on keeping the blogs updated and the daily words going.

I mean, I’ve done it plenty of times before. I worked on the outline for Meet the Lidwells! in a tiny little room in Earls Court during one of our trips to London. I did bit of rereading of my daily words while looking for some project-related stuff while staying overnight in Mendocino. And I’m always up for doing some in-bed reading of my current project as a wind-down from the day’s events. So it’s not as if I don’t have time; like I said, it’s all about making the effort.

More on the MU chronology

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As part of this ongoing Trilogy Remastering project, I’ve been trying to nail down some of the start dates of the books. I’ve long had a habit of timestamping my work (especially longhand, though I sometimes forget to do so when it’s straight to Word), so the accuracy is pretty good most of the time. I have the start and end dates of Books 2 and 3 confirmed. However, I was still using MS Write when I started writing A Division of Souls and those files don’t always provide what I need. It always bothered me in later years that I could never quite nail down when that first book was started, other than remembering that it took around a year and a half to write.

Recently, however, I think I got a bit of clarity on it. A rough listing so far:

8/7/1998 — The Phoenix Effect (longhand version) stopped
8/19/1998 — The Phoenix Effect (PC version) completed
8/25/1998 — Keepers of the Wards (first aborted TPE sequel) started
5/5/1999 — Keepers of the Wards stopped
Summer/Autumn 1999 — work on revision for The Phoenix Effect, submission to various agencies
12/9/1999 — The Veil (second aborted TPE sequel) started
2/22/2000 — The Veil stopped
4/23/2000 — The Mihari* (first aborted rewrite of The Phoenix Effect) started
6/??/2000 — A Division of Souls (second rewrite of TPE) started (originally titled The Mihari: The Division of Souls)
8/??/2000 — Plans to leave HMV, start looking for new job (early August)
8/12/2000 — Interview for job at Yankee Candle (Saturday open-house)
9/??/2000 — Official final day at HMV (possibly 1st or 8th)
9/11/2000 — Start job at YC
11/??/2000 — Switch from 2nd to 1st shift at YC (7am-3pm, shifted back one hour by early 2001)

That last entry is important. Because of that early end time, I quickly realized that I could utilize those afternoons to do my comic book and CD runs in the Amherst/Hadley area (a quick twenty minute trip down Route 116 from Deerfield on Wednesdays), come home and relax for a bit, have dinner with the family, then work on Division for a few hours in the evenings. That would become my constant writing schedule for the next few years until I moved out in March of 2005.

The above timeline sounds about right, as I’d had the idea to completely rewrite TPE from scratch during the spring and summer of 2000 during my last months at HMV. I was just loath to actually go through with it until I knew that alternate routes wouldn’t work, and I’d been dealing with a lot of day job stress at the time. I didn’t want to overburden myself if I didn’t have the spoons.

This plan, however, became a long-game plan to fully change how I wrote. I suppose these days you could use the word ‘vibe’ to describe what I’d been doing; I’d come up with interesting ideas but I was still focusing on the mood of the story rather than the prose or even the lyricism of it, and it was painfully obvious that it wasn’t working. I went into ADoS with the idea that my prose should have more heft and personality instead of the Hollywood bombast. I also went in knowing that this might take a while, but I was willing to put in the time and the work.

That obstacle of working second shift at YC did put a damper on things a bit, as I wasn’t always able to get any work done in the morning and early afternoon before work, which frustrated me. But when the offer to switch came up I immediately went for it. And for the next four years I worked on that long-game plan, writing the trilogy and getting better at my craft.

**

[* – Yes, The Mihari was the original title of the trilogy, a word cribbed from a Japanese pocket dictionary back in 1997 that means “to watch over”. It’s the original name of the Mendaihu, with the Shenaihu having the Japanese word misuteru instead, meaning ‘to abandon’. I knew it was shameless appropriation even then, but for now it was just an anime-inspired placeholder until I came up with something better. The terms Mendaihu and Shenaihu are relatively recent, created in 2011 when I started work on the initial revision for its eventual self-publishing.]

Getting through mental overload

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I seem to be doing a lot of problem solving for other people at the day job lately, and while I’m more than happy to help when needed, there comes a point where it feels like any decision or solution is deferred to me. I mean, sure, it’s partly because I’m at an ersatz managerial level to some degree. [I’m not part of the management team per se but I do occasionally have to play the role of floor manager in my area.] Having to solutionify so often, especially when it’s several times in one week, my mental and social batteries start to drain a bit.

And the downside to that is that I end up not having enough spoons to get any writing work done at any point that day.

So what do I do about this? I’ve been thinking about it over the last couple of weeks, which have been more mentally exhausting than usual for me. A lot of the situations I speak of don’t need a lot of hard thinking, really — most of these are just a quick bit of problem solving (such as ‘how do I give this customer a discount that should have worked on this register but didn’t?’). So I need to start doing two things: one, explain to these coworkers of mine that we do in fact have the ability and the permission to adjust on the fly (within reason, legality and regulation, of course). And two, coach them to make those moves without actually needing to ask my permission or handholding every time.

[A slightly unrelated third step I need to take is to explain that I might not be able to answer you right away if I’m speaking with someone, and especially if that someone is a customer. I’m not being rude, I just can’t handle multiple disparate threads of conversations at the same time like I used to.]

I’ve often said that my job can be a bit like playing 5D chess. Yes, even if I’m just packing your bag: I look at your purchase, make a mental note of how it could be bagged without making it too heavy, and maintaining a conversation with you at the same time. And on top of that, I’m usually thinking about what next bookkeeping things I need to do before lunch or punching out, or remembering to do a non-urgent something a manager asked me to take care of a while back. And lots of interruptions, white noise and solving several other peoples’ problems is not something I can or should keep doing. I end up getting overloaded and mentally exhausted.

And this is why I plan on doing two things during my upcoming weeklong vacation time off: catch up on sleep, and figure out a plan on how to adjust all of this to make it work a bit better.

Where to…?

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I’ve been tempted to not use the breakroom at work lately, though given that my non-lunch breaks are only ten minutes, that doesn’t give me all that much time to do anything other than unwind my head a bit before starting up again.

And yet, what if I walk around the block a few times? I know, I know…after standing for a few hours, the last thing my legs want to do is move, and yet I’m starting to think that’s exactly what they do need. My knees tend to lock up if I’m standing in one place for too long, so I try to stretch them a bit during slow times. A few of my coworkers have been known to zip outside during their breaks, whether to have a smoke, use their phone or chat with a coworker, so maybe I need to get myself outside as well. My shop is in the Avenues in the Sunset District and also on a flat part of the neighborhood, so perhaps doing a few walks around the block might not be bad at all.

And considering I wouldn’t be staring at my phone, that would give me a bit of mental peace as well. Perhaps think about whatever story I happen to be working on. Something to take my mind off the on-off cycle of register jockeying and on-the-fly problem-solving whenever something goes wrong. That way, not only would I get a bit of stretch and exercise, I’d also clear my head a bit as well.

Weather permitting, of course. We all know how weird San Francisco weather can be.

What’s next…?

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A good question, that. With Theadia on the back burner until further notice, the only other project I have on deck is the remaster of The Balance of Light, thus completing the Trilogy Remaster. After that, I’ve got nothing planned. I’ve been sort of hyping myself into writing another Mendaihu Universe book or two, however. And I’ve also been thinking about reviving Walk in Silence (the book) one more time in hopes that it’ll stick this time.

Truth be told, I’m fine with not worrying too much about it these days. The older I get, the less I feel the need to Do All The Things Right Now Before It’s Too Late, and I think that’s a good and healthy thing. I’ve always had a habit of constantly being in motion until I run out of mental or emotional gas, not to mention having a secondary habit of people-pleasing to a self-defeating extent. I’m at an age where it’s time to listen to what my body and mind are telling me. And right now they’re telling me that now is probably a good time to give these two projects some much-needed and long-delayed attention.

The issue with these two possibilities is that they both have repeatedly suffered from being shifted aside, whether because of writer’s block, personal situations or shifting priorities. I’ve never given up on them, they just remained on the back burner. But these days, I’ve given them both a rethink and realized what I’d been doing wrong all this time: lack of immersion. With WiS it was a lack of a solid direction that kept me from going deeper into the book I wanted to write; I had at least two or three different versions I wanted to try but never decided which one would prove the best. And with MU4, every version felt like I was just trying to emulate the mood and the ambience of the Bridgetown Trilogy without actually going all that deep into the universe.

What’s different this time? Well, time and age have mellowed me out a bit, I suppose, but I think it’s also that I’ve left both on the backburner for several years at this point, and approaching them now feels different. I think I have a clearer idea on how to each of them need to be handled. With MU4, it has to do with remembering how I started writing The Phoenix Effect in the first place: a new story with a new goal, and let it all evolve and expand organically instead of shoehorning it into place. With WiS, a recent conversation with a coworker about alternative rock inspired me to follow a new direction that had been floating around my brain for the last couple of months. And most importantly, I realized that the best way to do all of this is the same way I came back to these blogs and returning to my daily 750Words a few months ago: just do the damn thing already and stop overthinking it.

I still have no idea if any of it will pan out, but I’d like to think these projects are still worth the try.

Falling into place

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“I didn’t play all Tetris all those years for nothing.” It’s something I’ve said to my customers at my shop when they marvel at how I manage to completely fill their shopping bags and yet still keep them reasonably light. You’ll notice that I’m looking at the items on the belt, scribbles of algebra floating around my head just like in the meme, working out what can go where before I even pick it up. It keeps me entertained and makes the shift go by quicker.

But it’s just how I’ve trained my brain to think when I have to do a task (or in some cases, write a novel) that has numerous moving parts. It’s one of my favorite things to do, actually — thinking a few steps ahead, looking at what I’ve been given and how I can make it work a few steps further on. And in terms of writing, it really comes in handy when I have to think through an idea and debate how it might affect the story or the characters in the future. That, in turn, helps me plan out more of the plot direction. It’s how I worked out the Bridgetown Trilogy with its several plot threads and expanded cast!

But yeah, sometimes it just works really well for me in Real Life, whether it’s planning out an errand or a project, or simply bagging things for my customers.

Thirty Years On: Life Changes

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While I’ve been finishing up the current revision of The Persistence of Memories, I started looking at the list of what I call the Mendaihu Universe Legacy Soundtracks. Out of the thousands of albums I’d listened to over the years I wrote what would become the Bridgetown Trilogy, these are the titles I equate to my writing sessions, whether they were in the family basement, the Shoebox apartment in Back Bay, or the sweltering summer in Allston. It’s been a fun reminiscence looking at this list and revisiting some of my favorites over the years.

And while I was at it, I pulled out a spreadsheet I’d made some time ago of a writing chronology. I’d gone through my poetry chapbooks, personal journals, trunked ideas and outtakes, pretty much every creative thing I knew I still had on hand. I entered it all in and sorted it by date just to see what I was working on when. It’s an interesting read on a personal level, as it reminds me when certain life events happened, what moods I was in, when I came up with certain ideas, and so on.

What I found while going through all this is how much my life changed in September of 1996.

I’d had a handful of ‘here until further notice so I can save up/pay bills/get out of debt’ jobs since moving home a year earlier. I left the radio station that June and started a temp job at my mom’s place of work soon after. I’m pretty sure it was late August when she pointed out the ad for HMV, and by mid-September I had the job, starting on the 23rd.

Two things happened that month, one right after the other. One, I really needed to get my own car at that point. I couldn’t continue to borrow someone else’s, so I managed to score a 1992 sky-blue Chevy Cavalier for two grand and only a few thousand miles on it. It pretty much looked like the one below, and I’d drive it into the ground over the next four years on all those commutes and road trips around New England. I called it the Mach 5, of course. I knew that any job I tried out for would not be in the immediate area, and this gave me so much more freedom. I’d buy a few local road atlases to stuff behind the front seats to get me where I needed to go. I used to park it in the grove out front, back when we had multiple cars in the driveway.

And two, I’d finally decided that it was time for me to move my PC down to the basement. I knew it was sometime in late summer that I’d decided on it, and I’d chosen to do it for a few reasons. The thing was a good few years old and had a rather loud fan, and given my penchant for staying up later than the others in the house, I didn’t want to keep them awake. I also wanted what would essentially be a work area with minimal distraction, and a place I could specifically label as my own personal space.

And we certainly had the room down there, the spot in the top picture formerly only housing a few chairs among other things near the wall phone. I utilized a desk (and a boombox, the one you see there) that had been my uncle’s, a director’s chair I’d had during my Boston years, and my dad provided the short filing cabinet. Made a few trips over to Walmart to pick up various desk organizers, 3″ disks and other stationery. My trusty milk crates from my college years got a new life underneath in the footwell area where I stashed three-ring binders of printouts. Snacks were hidden away in those open shelves, and 12-can boxes of Mountain Dew would soon make an appearance as well.

Mind you, I wasn’t down there with any sense of frequency, at least not yet. I think that wouldn’t happen until summer of 1997 when I chose to start transcribing the longhand work I’d started with The Phoenix Effect. That novel project had started in March of that year and by the summer I’d realized that it would make a lot more sense if I revised as I transcribed in order to make it better instead of completing each draft one after the other. And it probably wasn’t until summer 1998 that I finally did start going down there on a frequent basis, once I finished TPE and started in on the major revision work, multiple trunked attempts at sequels and related stories, and eventually what would become A Division of Souls.

But it all started there, thirty years ago in September of 1996, when I made those two life changing decisions.

[Side note: It wasn’t always called the Belfry, even though I refer to it as such these days. I don’t recall the exact date at the moment (surprisingly, it’s not on that chronology spreadsheet), but I’m pretty sure it was the summer of either 2000 or 2001 when two bats entered the basement through an open door and hilarity ensued. Thus the reason why my writing nook in the cellar of my family’s house was nicknamed The Belfry thereafter.]

Perusing the shelves

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I’ll be honest, I really needed to rethink my book buying habits, so I did. Just not in the way you’d expect.

I’d been a subscriber to the magazine Publishers Weekly for a good number of years, mainly because I got to read all the news and reviews about the writing field, and during those years I would make note of many of the books that got reviewed and add them to my shopping list. In fact, I ended up obsessively working on that shopping list just like I’ve always done with music releases.

Thing is, there were a few problems with going this route. One, I had to wade through a lot of reviews of dramatic “heartbreaking” litfic that I had zero interest in. Two, these reviews were for books that would not come out for another couple of months, so whenever we made a bookstore run, I’d often get frustrated because everything I wanted to look for was not yet out. Three, eventually I began losing interest in the magazine and going through the same process with every issue. I’d fall behind, sometimes six or seven issues behind, and I finally made the decision to let it lapse earlier this year. Four — and most problematic — I realized that about half of the reviewed titles I thought might be interesting were not resonating with me at all once I read a page or two at the store. It was too much of a long game crapshoot and I was losing interest.

And as a writer, that’s really not something I want to let happen.

So. Did I have any new process for finding books worth reading?

Yes! And it was deceptively simple. It meant doing it old school: perusing the shelves, picking up titles that caught my attention, and perhaps buying them if not making a note of their release for later purchase (or alternately, borrowing via the Hoopla library app on my e-reader). I reminded myself of those pre- and passive internet Belfry years when I would spend hours at Barnes & Noble or Toadstool back in New England, just trying things out. I found so many of my writing influences that way, and not via a professional trade.

And let me tell you, it felt so…refreshing. The other week when we stopped at Copperfields in Petaluma, I truly enjoyed scanning through their science fiction section, truly paying attention to what they had and what popped out at me. Seeing the trending styles and paying attention to what resonated with me. I did it again this past Sunday when we stopped at Books Inc on Van Ness when we were out and about, and I’m sure I’ll do it again the next time we step into Green Apple Books in our own neighborhood.

I’d almost forgotten what it felt like to walk into a store and not immediately refer to the shopping list on my phone (which, by the way, I’ve been threatening to thin out for the last couple of weeks). That’s not to say I don’t mind heading into a book store knowing exactly what I want to buy, it’s just that I think it’s time I started relying a bit more on chance and fate when it comes to finding something new to read. I need to find more books that will influence and inspire me, because I’ve been obsessing with the same styles for far too long.