Songs from the Eden Cycle 3: Annotated

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Songs from the Eden Cycle Volume 3 was created in November of 1997, when I was somewhere around Chapter 7 in The Phoenix Effect. By that time I was getting a little bit better at keeping up; it looks like I was writing maybe two or three times a week of maybe a page or two every now and again. I’d also started a new poetry comp book called Dualities, where I was experimenting with the dualities (and paradoxes) of life; I really liked the idea of the mind and the heart not just being this or that, but this and that at the same time. This deeply influenced Phoenix to the point where I was was starting to get a good idea of how a character like Poe could be both Mendaihu and Shenaihu in spirit.

The second half of the mix was definitely made in late October or early November, as the first and last tracks are from a sort-of holiday compilation called Invocation that dropped on 7 October. I found myself listening to that particular CD a ton over the next several months, which was totally unlike me. It’s not your typical world music collection, though there is a lot of that on it. It’s like a cross between world music, modern orchestral, and experimental electronica, and it just happened to fit perfectly with The Phoenix Effect.

SIDE 1

  1. Rabbit in the Moon, “OBE”. This was a standout track on the Urbal Beats electronica mix that PGD had put out, and which had gotten a lot of play on the sales floor. I’d remembered hearing it and recognizing the Tori Amos sample (“Precious” from Little Earthquakes, a favorite track due to that excellent piano riff), and thought this was a fantastic use of it. In my head the song embodied the distress of the recently awakened and the fallout that started to pile up at this point.
  2. Shai nO Shai, “Better with White”. This Parisian band came and went so quickly I have no idea who they are other than that they were signed to BMG as a sort of French/Irish alternative folk/indie rock hybrid. Their lyrics were rarely straightforward, either using symbolism or hinting at ancient folk tales. Either way, I loved their one album Human Condition and it got a ton of play in the back room of the store. I’m still not entirely sure what this song is about, though I felt at the time that this was Kai’s approach to her status: a bit of dysphoria and monachopsis (just discovered that word!) but trying to get past it all.
  3. Mansun, “Wide Open Space”. This was such a leftfield track that didn’t fit in anywhere else to the point that it fascinated me. This was a band that had been filed away under Britpop but sounded nothing like Oasis or Blur. They were an odd mix of glam, psychedelia and maybe even a touch of prog, and I was hooked. This song was another mood piece for the story to inspire that feeling of not quite feeling like you belong where you currently find yourself. Safe, but out of place.
  4. Whiskeytown, “Not Home Anymore”. I’d first heard of Ryan Adams via this band, who were much more alt-country than his solo work. I called this one a “high lonesome” track because it does have that feeling of sad bluegrass, in this case returning to your past and finding that nothing remains. Like the above track, this song made me think again about how the recently Awakened would deal with their current situation, having realized there’s no turning back.
  5. Lauren Christy, “Breed (Coda)”. This interesting deep cut is actually a much darker and grittier version of the title song of the album it’s from — the original’s sound is heavier and faster. Because of that, the song’s lyrics take on a more desperate meaning. In the context of Phoenix it becomes about the Awakened understanding how fragile life is and needing to ensure it stays safe and continues.
  6. U2, “Please”. The next to last track off Pop and then the current single from it, this pretty much completes the musical arc I’ve been building up over the last few songs. To me it’s about finally learning your own personal barriers and when to say enough is enough. With Phoenix it then becomes a song about learning how to fight back.
  7. The Chemical Brothers, “Elektrobank”. This was then the current single for Dig Your Own Hole and my favorite track off the album partly because of the brilliant video. I loved the energy of this song as it felt like a long-awaited release, even when it goes into half-speed in the back quarter of the song. It’s a breath of relief. And so with the book it’s the point where one is finally in control of their own self.
  8. Cocteau Twins, “The Thinner the Air”. I’d long been a CT fan and this was a deep cut from the Victorialand album that I loved. It’s such a delicate track that feels more like an exhale. It also feels otherworldly (as most CT songs usually do upon first listen), so it fit nicely in this mix as a follow-up to the previous song. A breath of relief after such a long stretch of anxiety and frustration.
  9. Seal, “Crazy [Acoustic Version/Instrumental Version]”. And yet despite that relief, there’s always that reminder of what happened before it all that you can never quite forget. I absolutely loved the original version when it came out back in 1991. This was a b-side to the CD single and I thought it was fascinating how it mixes two completely different interpretations into one track. I suppose it could be seen as part of that ‘dualities’ thing I mentioned earlier… the calm acoustic and the tension of the instrumental. A theme that pretty much stayed throughout the entire project.

SIDE 2

  1. Jocelyn Pook, “Oppenheimer”. This was from the Invocation compilation and I was taken by its otherworldly chanting, but also my favorite version of the famous “now I am become Death” quote which includes the unnerving ending line that often gets dropped: “…I suppose we all thought that, one way or another.” That deeply personal acceptance of a world-changing event to the point of understanding its consequences sets the tone for the haunting piece itself, and that was a very heavy inspiration on the latter half of Phoenix where it starts getting more intense.
  2. Forest for the Trees, “Dream”. Meanwhile, this Beck-adjacent project is kind of an oddball throwaway (complete with purposely incorrect use of the three person tenses) that I really liked, especially with its utterly strange accompanying video. I liked that this was a much lighter take on the dreamworld versus reality. That was pretty much how I pictured the multiple realities in this project. [This is not available on the Spotify playlist; the YT video is here.]
  3. The Verve, “Bittersweet Symphony [James Lavelle Remix]”. This was an interesting track in that I loved this version before I even knew who James Lavelle was as a producer and the mastermind behind UNKLE, who I’d discover in 1998. I liked that this was almost a deconstruction of the song, mostly a slow drum groove instead of the ‘stolen’ string loop. It doesn’t quite lend itself to the Phoenix project per se, but it does lend itself to the ongoing theme in this volume that deals with Otherness.
  4. Orbital, “The Box”. This was a brilliant single I loved the moment I heard it, and loved it even more once I finally saw the video for it. This was the kind of electronica that appealed to me: the kind that you could sit down and immerse yourself in. There’s this strange otherworldliness to the song that works well with the slowly expanding Mendaihu Universe I was creating.
  5. Dubstar, “Stars”. The US version of their Goodbye album came out that September and I instantly fell in love with it. It had that early 90s Britpop retro feel and this song was just absolutely gorgeous. The album got a ton of play in the back room at HMV and of course gets an MU Legacy Soundtrack badge. This was an easy fit: just taking it literally, singing about the power of love against all odds, which ties in once again with Poe and Kai’s budding relationship.
  6. Nine Inch Nails, “Hurt”. For a while in the mid 90s I listened to The Downward Spiral quite a bit and thought it was a brilliant album. A few years and much self-therapy later and it felt a little too close to home in some respects and became a hard listen. Still, around this time I’d finally gotten my own CD copy of the album (I’d originally had a dub of it from Chris) and started listening to it repeatedly at the store. I’d always loved this particular song and felt it was a perfect ending track. It works here as well, once again tying in with the Otherness theme.
  7. Pulusha, “Isolation, Part 1”. This one is a special song for me for a few reasons. I remember kind of gliding by it the first couple of times I’d heard it on the Invocation CD, but one afternoon at the shop it just…hit me, and hit hard. Between the spiritual aspects of Phoenix and the spiritual research I was doing at the time, the idea of a twin spirit leaving the body for what might be the last time felt so visceral to me and I nearly fell to my knees with the sensation that I was letting go of something forever. I think these days that’s something you might call ‘deconstruction’…? Either way, that was a turning point in my building this universe. It must have been around this time that I’d finally come up with the idea of Trisanda being the destination. I’d had the vague idea of that world being the soul’s origination, but it must have been around this time that the story now had a new focus: reconnection. [This is not available on the Spotify playlist; the YT video is here.]

This mixtape I think solidifies the mood of the project, a point where I’d stopped flailing and pantsing and I had a much better idea of where I wanted it all to go. I’d gotten closer to the characters on a personal level (finally) and that meant I could explore their lives further. While the mix is still a bit disjointed like Vol 2 was, it’s less so this time out because of that closeness.

Songs from the Eden Cycle 2: Annotated

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This volume was made not long after I came back from the long distance road trip to visit my friend. The first one came out so well, and I was really getting into writing Phoenix at the time, that I wanted to make another volume. This volume was also made mostly in the back room of the record store, grabbing songs both from my own collection and from the CDs we were selling. [I may have opened one or two just to copy some songs, then to shrinkwrap them back up afterwards.] There are a few songs from the original Vigil song list here as well. I was willing to embrace some of the much earlier ideas I’d had for the project that fell by the wayside when I worked on True Faith.

It’s also interesting how this and the next volume feel a bit disjointed, and I think it’s partly because I was making a lot of the mix up as I went along. It was less about grabbing a bunch of songs I already wanted on there and more along the lines of stuff I happened to be listening to at the moment mixed in with stuff in my collection I’d been listening to since ’95. A good portion of it is less about specific scenes or ideas and more about the mood and the vibe I was looking for at the time. This one does work, although it’s not nearly as strong as volumes 1 or 4.

Songs from the Eden Cycle, Vol 2.

SIDE 1

  1. George Harrison, “Isn’t It a Pity (Version One)”. If I recall, I think this one just happened to pop up because there had been an open copy of All Things Must Pass that needed shrinkwrapping, and as I hadn’t listened to it in ages (I had it on vinyl), I thought it would be fun to revisit it. I’d always liked this track, dire though it was, and somehow I felt it fit in with the mood of the book, specifically how the newly awakened felt disconnected from everyone. It’s also a classic example of the ‘slow build’, a technique I’ve always loved in music.
  2. The Smashing Pumpkins, “Tonight, Tonight”. I’d picked up Mellon Collie not long after it came out, and even though I felt it was a bit bloated, there were some great tunes on it, and I really liked this one. It’s the exact opposite of the previous track: a celebration of freedom, in this case the freedom given to the newly awakened.
  3. Depeche Mode, “Home”. I was listening to Ultra quite a bit at this time as it was already one of my favorites of the year to date, and the mood of the album fit my current writing project perfectly. There weren’t any specific scenes connected to this song other than a vague idea of Poe’s connection with Kai, who at this point was still a recently awakened character instead of the Mendaihu agent she became in A Division of Souls. He wanted to provide her with comfort and a place to belong.
  4. Beck, “The New Pollution”. This continues the above idea, a freshly awakened spirit feeling vastly out of place and trying to figure out their new world. “She’s alone in the new pollution” to me sounded like being given a decision: do I remain a victim, or do I make the best of it instead? I think I was also going through the same thing on a personal level at the time.
  5. Tori Amos, “Little Earthquakes”. This dates back to my post-college Boston days when someone had played it over the air on the college station in a way to grieve a lost friend. In a way it also ties in with the above idea of victim versus victor instead… to me it’s also a song about going through all sorts of personal shit, and needing to be strong about it. Something that kind of fit me on a personal level as well.
  6. U2, “Gone”. Another track from Pop, this ties in with the above as well, as to me it created an image of coming to terms with loss, and with putting so much into something and getting diminishing returns. In a way that was how my connection with my ex played out so I channeled that into the story as well: finding a reason to let go and move on. “Didn’t want it that much anyway.”
  7. Live, “White, Discussion”. I’d been a fan of the Throwing Copper album since it came out, and I quite liked the epicness of this, especially the way it doesn’t so much end as die out slowly. I also remember it showing up in the Virtuosity movie during my time at the movie theater in Somerville. I took the original idea of this song about constant debate about right vs wrong yet actually doing nothing to fix the problem, and turned it into something tied in with Phoenix. In this case, the bigotry the newly awakened would most likely have to deal with, whether now or in the future. That had always been a plot idea: bigotry against The Other, and those who are all talk and no action about it. I suppose that’s always been in a lot of my stories at the time, come to think of it.
  8. Delerium, “Silence”. I absolutely loved this track at the time, and I’m pretty sure I copped the promo copy of the Karma album by then. [I’d also been a fan of Sarah McLachlan at the time.] It got a lot of play on AOR and alternative radio that summer. This ties in with the electronica wave that I felt fit in perfectly with the project; something slightly futuristic and different from the mainstream.

SIDE 2

  1. Sneaker Pimps, “Post-Modern Sleaze [Video Mix]”. Becoming X was getting a lot of play both in the back room and during my writing sessions, as it was the perfect mood music for this project. I’d started looking into more trip-hop, and that was why I’d glommed onto Tricky’s Pre-Millennium Tension as well. This version is a bit beefier than the original album version, so instead of it feeling a bit sparse and lonely, this one feels more like driving through Bridgetown at 2am, which is totally something Poe would do.
  2. Republica, “Ready to Go [US Mix]”. I needed to put in a song with a bit of oomph in it, otherwise this mix was going to be a bit dire. Well, maybe not, as some of my gloomier mixes worked really well! Anyway — this song was still getting a lot of airplay and had that relentless upbeat drive that worked well with the more positive elements of the story idea. The bliss of the exciting parts of cyberpunk, I suppose.
  3. Stabbing Westward, “What Do I Have to Do?”. This one dates back to the summer before I started at the record store, and I always felt this one could be tied in with a scene of the recently awakened ‘rising up’ in some way. Whether that would be a positive or a negative is left up to question. I liked the idea of a character’s drive being seen as both a good and a bad thing, depending on how you look at it. That duality played a big part in this project from here on in.
  4. Sarah Brightman, “Cape Horn”/”A Salty Dog”. This, on the other hand, dates back to my days in 1993-4 living and working in Boston. I’d started listening to Dive quite often on the way to work in the morning, as it had that light pop feel that was both a bit on the retro side and also calmed my frazzled nerves a bit. The first track, basically an intro, samples 1962’s Mutiny on the Bounty before starting the Procol Harum cover. That song itself is of course about the olden days of sailing, but with this synth-heavy version it made me think about spacefaring instead. It reminded me of an anime I’d seen a year or two previous (title long since forgotten) that used the same ‘don’t know when or if I’m coming back’ melancholy during the space launch scenes. This could easily have helped shape the idea I’d had of the newly awakened souls originating from somewhere other than Earth. [The original did in fact come from my New Age reading, but my remembering the song only helped solidify that.]
  5. The The, “Good Morning Beautiful”. I’d recently read that this song was recorded in London after many bottles of booze had been consumed, and it shows, because it’s a song full of disgust and anger, as only Matt Johnson could pull off. While it doesn’t quite tie in with the Phoenix theme, it does lend itself to the antagonism that would arise between the recently awakened and those working against them. I was still big on the idea of spiritual freedom versus religious rigidity.
  6. Elton John, “Believe”. This one also dates back to 1995 when I was still working on True Faith at the time. While a lot of big name alternative and grunge sounds were coming out in the early part of that year, EJ came out with the quieter and darker Made in England, and this was the big single. I remember liking the track quite a lot and latched onto it because it had that “I believe in love” refrain that worked with the Phoenix theme, specifically the connection Poe and Kai were creating. Love conquers all.
  7. Soul Asylum, “Black Gold”. This one on the other hand dates all the way back to the 1993 Vigil sessions! It shows up on the ‘soundtrack’ notes from that time as well. One original idea I’d had was post-apocaylpse, or more to the point a post-war idea in which NewCanta (and Bridgetown, and so on) were created basically after a horrifying world war that wiped out several cities, and several decades later these sprawls were the result. ‘This flat land used to be a town’ hints at that, and this song would work as a sort of soundtrack to those first years as a prefabricated sprawl.
  8. Joy Askew, “Corrine”. This song I first discovered on one of those label promo mixes, and it does lend itself to the idea of coming out of your shell. Tying in with the Phoenix idea, it’s along the lines of “Dear Prudence” in that ‘get out of the box you’ve put yourself in’ way, which was an idea I’d had for Kai.
  9. Phish, “Free.” I’d been listening to the newish album from them and finally getting around to listening to them more often, and I liked how celebratory this was. It ties in with the previous track, uplifting in its own way. Despite all the strife and turmoil the newly Awakened were dealing with, they also knew they had a goal: to free themselves from their binds and be their true selves.

In retrospect, this volume is fascinating in that it really leans heavily on the New Age aspect of the Phoenix project, something I was still somewhat interested in at the time. It’s also interesting in that the third volume, which I’d make a few months later, had a much darker mood to it.

Songs from the Eden Cycle 1: Annotated

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Recently I’ve been visiting the early days of the Mendaihu Universe project, specifically when I’d started writing it mid-March of 1997. I’ve talked about the background of this story quite often here, but I’ve sometimes commented about its influences only in a passive way. When I started The Phoenix Effect, it was going to be more dark and intense than its previous incarnation as True Faith. And I can safely say that the primary influences of this version were the movies/series Bladerunner, Gall Force, Bubblegum Crisis, and Johnny Mnemonic, and the Masamune Shirow mangas The Ghost in the Shell, Dominion and Appleseed.

Then of course there’s the music. Nearly all of my writing projects have dedicated mixtapes and/or playlists — yes, even the juvenilia and the trunked ideas — and Phoenix was no different. At the time, this new story was still considered part of a much larger extended universe I then called the Eden Cycle, with vague outlines for several books spanning multiple storylines and eras. [That in itself was inspired by the Star Wars expanded universe.] Mind you, I was still nowhere near the write every day goal I was aiming towards, so by June I was only a few longhand chapters in, sessions squeezed in before my shift at HMV or in the evening after dinner.

The first volume of Songs from the Eden Cycle was created for two reasons. One, I needed all the inspiration I could get, and ‘soundtrack’ mixtapes always worked for me; and two, I was heading out on a weeklong multi-state road trip to visit a good friend of mine, and what better way to think about my project than while I’m on the road? I may have only gotten one writing session in during that trip, but I’m sure I gave that mix a few repeat plays at the time.

Songs from the Eden Cycle Vol 1, created June 1997 (likely later in the month).

SIDE 1

  1. Poe, “Hello [Band Version]”. When I first started making the mixtape in the back room of the store, I knew this was going to be the first track because it had inspired the new direction for the Vigil project. Plus, it’s a banger! I liked that the lyrics were an obvious nod to cyberpunk, and to my ears a nod specifically to Johnny Mnemonic and Neuromancer. At the time, Phoenix‘s plot contained the idea of spirits with the ability to switch bodies, including cybernetic clones. The “phoenix” part of the title then was meant to evoke an idea of being reborn, specifically in a violent way. The opening of Phoenix is almost exactly the same as it is in A Division of Souls, only that the Awakening ritual was originally a catastrophic ‘ring of fire’ explosion at the Tower. [Note: Spotify doesn’t have this version available, so the original album version took its place.]
  2. Failure, “Heliotropic”. There’s no specific scene or idea for this song, only that I was listening to Fantastic Planet quite a bit by this time and this was added more as a vibe than anything else. The heavy and distorted bass and the thundering drums to me evoked a grimy night city scene a la Bladerunner. B-Town was never planned to be all grime and grimness, mind you; just certain parts of it to make sure there’s a visible line between the haves and the have-nots.
  3. U2, “Mofo”. I was also listening to Pop a lot at this time too; I loved the album even despite the critics hating it. I loved the almost non-human sound coming from this song, which hinted at that ‘phoenix’ idea; the story at the time had these newly awakened spirits hiding inside cybernetic bodies just this side of the uncanny valley (another Bladerunner influence).
  4. David Bowie, “Dead Man Walking”. Another “phoenix” idea I played around with: what happens to the original bodies once the spirit leaves and enters a new one? What remains? They were a husk at most, and a possible target for a different and malevolent spirit at worst. [I hint at this in The Persistence of Memories when Caren and Poe meet Saisshalé for the first time.] I was also listening to Earthling quite a bit, pleasantly surprised that I’d finally found a non-greatest hits Bowie record that I really liked.
  5. Psykosonik, “Need to Die”. This CD was given to me by a coworker at the record store who was really into the whole electronica and darkwave thing. He liked it all, even though he was not a clubgoer. This darkwave band was similar to bands like VNV Nation and Front Line Assembly, which I also gravitated towards. I liked this laid back groove and thought this song fit the mix. [Note: I would only find out years later that one of the band’s members, Ted Beale, would end up being the infamous Vox Day. I keep the two as separate as I possibly can.]
  6. Live, “Lakini’s Juice”. Secret Samadhi was their weird album, I think. It was the follow up to the hugely successful Throwing Copper, and while there are elements of their heart-on-sleeve earnestness they’ve always had, it’s a much darker affair. This was the first single and definitely a left turn for them: grimy and gritty and unsettling. I thought it fit the flow and mood of the mix nicely.
  7. Elysian Fields, “Lady in the Lake”. Bleeding Cedar was one of the early promo CDs I’d gotten from the store, and I was taken in by the band’s sultry goth sound. It was like listening to a much darker version of Mazzy Star in a way, feeling like the aural equivalent of a ghost story. While “Jack in the Box” was the single, this was the track that appealed to me. Lyrically it doesn’t quite fit but the vibe is perfect.
  8. Moby, “That’s When I Reach for My Revolver”. Despite my wondering why he decided to cover Mission of Burma for his non-electronic ‘punk’ album Animal Rights, I kind of liked this take on one of my favorite Boston-centric songs, as he manages to retain the meaning and energy of the track. Why here? I think partly because WFNX was playing it a lot at the time and I needed to fill out the last part of Side 1. It does sort of fit the mood of Vigil’s take on the situation: if someone has to take the reins and get shit done, it’s definitely going to be them.
  9. The Verve Pipe, “Veneer”. I’d loved the Villains album and had seen them live at Avalon in Boston in May, where I learned the story behind this dreamlike track — driving alone on a deserted Michigan highway while high as a kite. Hearing it in its proper context made me absolutely love the track. In the context of Phoenix, I think this was how I thought a newly ‘awakened’ spirit would feel: completely out of sorts and confused, maybe akin to being high.

SIDE 2

  1. Richard Einhorn & Anonymous 4, “Exlamavit (from Voices of Light)”. I was obsessed with this album in the latter half of 1996, having heard it on an NPR station as I was driving into Boston one night. Einhorn wrote it as a soundtrack to the 1928 silent film The Passion of Joan of Arc. It intrigued me because it was the first modern orchestral piece that caught my interest, and reminded me of my favorite Dead Can Dance moments. This intro piece fit perfectly with the “ring of fire” moment in Phoenix.
  2. Pulp, “Common People”. This was a good year or two old and I was passingly familiar with it but it hadn’t resonated with me until around this time when I finally got what the band was about. I’d been listening to the store copy off and on and knew this was the big hit. It might not completely fit in with the story idea, but the vibe of distrusting those who mock or hate you fit in perfectly. It kind of fits Vigil’s vibe as well.
  3. Sponge, “Isolation”. I’d also been listening to the Working Class Hero John Lennon tribute album quite a bit at the time. It’s a song about Lennon dealing with the darker side of fame and feeling isolated despite being constantly surrounded. While the original from the Plastic Ono Band album is more plaintive and laid bare, this version is more pissed off, and it works alongside the above song with that feeling of social disconnection. [The tribute album is not on Spotify and is thus not on the playlist above.]
  4. The Offspring, “Gone Away”. This song was super popular on WFNX (does anyone remember the first single off this album?), and it sort of continues the whole feeling of social disconnect, this time from a deeply emotional point of view. It inspired a possible idea of a recently awakened character who felt this deeply yet didn’t quite understand where it was coming from yet.
  5. Filter, “Hey Man, Nice Shot”. There were actually a good couple of songs I thought fit the opening ‘ring of fire’ scene, and this was the more ‘violent’ one I came up with, fitting perfectly with my still-occasional use of Miami Vice style of writing. And I can never pass up a song that perfectly uses the quiet –> LOUD dynamic.
  6. Failure, “Daylight”. Even then I’m pretty sure I saw this song as an “ending credits scene” track, because it has such an epic coda that just builds and builds and leaves you breathless at the end. I’m also sure even then I pictured a hard cut to black when the drums and guitars kick in after the last verse. This is the first of many mixtapes where this song makes an appearance.
  7. U2, “Wake Up Dead Man”. Could this be a denouement scene song after all that? Perhaps? It’s near the end of Pop, after all the louder and bigger songs, and it evokes a feeling of exhaustion after all the pomp and noise. It also fits pretty well after “Daylight” — while the former song is the moment where something life-altering happens in the story, this song is the moment right after when one suddenly realizes what its consequences are.
  8. Jamiroquai, “Virtual Insanity”. I’ll be honest, this was more of an “I need one more song to finish this mix off” song, but it also fits the theme and the flow as another ‘end credits’ track. In my mind it does somehow fit in with the feeling of something life-altering happening, and now here we are having to deal with the fallout.

Not bad for a first volume, and it got a ton of play over the next several years. I’d be making two more volumes by the end of the year, with a fourth and then-final one made late in 1998 when I was working on the transcription and revision. Several of the tracks on these early volumes have had direct influence on The Phoenix Effect. [I will talk more about these in future entries here.]

A few variations would show up over the next few years, but in 2018 I’d revive the Songs from the Eden Cycle series as a way to keep the universe in mind. The most current one is Volume 10, created in late 2024.

Remaster Status: on schedule

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While I haven’t decided on a specific release date for the Remastered Edition for The Persistence of Memories, I can say that I’m still on schedule. I’m about halfway through, which is where I expected to be at this point. Not bad for a month and a half’s worth of work! It does help that I had an easy time of this one to begin with, so there aren’t too many issues to focus on. If I keep up with this schedule, I should be ready for a late fall release. I’ll have a more concrete date in mind once I get closer to the end.

I’m thinking, though, that if I do start the RE for The Balance of Light in 2027, that one might take some time to finish. It was the toughest of the three and I think it still needs a bit more TLC to make it a better book. Nothing as terrible as the original revision when I first self-published it. (I cut a lot from that one, quite possibly 15-30k…the final draft was a beast.) There’s also the fact that I’d like to think about what I’d like to work on next, be it a return to Theadia or finally starting on the next Mendaihu Universe book. Either way…we shall see.

For now, I’m just going to focus on the present.

Back to normal

Jon ChaissonLeave a comment

Today marks the last of five days in a row of my oddball day job schedule as the person whose job I was covering has come back from their three-week vacation. It’s taken a lot out of me and I’m sore and exhausted most of the time, but I survived intact. The trick was to purposely not run myself ragged at top speed every single moment. There were a few tense moments where I had to hide away in the bookkeeping booth to wind myself down a bit, but for the most part I kept as much as I could under control.

I’m even kind of surprised I managed to get a lot done with the Remaster for The Persistence of Memories! Then again, this is (a) my favorite book in the trilogy and (b) the one I feel is the best of the three. Most of the work has been the occasional spot-clean and rewording a few clunky sentences here and there. I’ll give it another reread once I’m done, and hopefully have it ready for re-release by the end of the year!

But yeah…after today, I’ll be enjoying a quiet four-day reprieve, and I’m looking forward to getting some remastering work done!

Early morning wake-up

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It’s another few days ahead of waking up at stupid:early AM for the 4am shift start. I can certainly still do it at my age, even if I don’t get enough sleep the night before, though I pay for it later that day once I’m off the clock. But I keep telling myself: if I can make it through the first couple of hours when I’m solo and prepping the front end for doors open, then I’m all set for the rest of the shift when the rest of my team comes in. From there it’s a matter of not overexerting myself and taking each issue calmly.

I don’t stretch as much as I should, though I’m doing it a lot more than I used to. I’m walking a lot more, as this is a pretty big shop and I usually have a lot of things to do that take me to different departments. I average around three miles on a good day, often more! But during those quiet times when I’m filling in at the register for someone, I’ll do Rin Shima’s stretches you see above right (the cross-arm and the overhead), then I’ll do the foot rotation stretches I used to do at Yankee Candle.

I still have not been able to do any creative work while at the day job as it doesn’t really provide me with enough time for it. But I’m okay with that now. The day job is the day job and I’ll focus on that while I’m on the clock. But as soon as I’m home — well, after giving the cats proper attention and winding down with some passive internetting — I’ll get myself started with the blogging and the 750. And finally, after dinner, I’ll start working on the main project, in this case the Persistence Remaster.

Pretty much close to what I used to do at YC. Not exact, but I’m no longer trying for exact. I’m just looking for whatever works best.

Mind you, after those early morning wake-ups, I get to appreciate the days off where I can sleep in that much more.

Clarity

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[This was also posted at my Dreamwidth blog yesterday as something that’s been on my mind lately.]

As I get older I find myself seeking clarity more and more. The problem with doing that when I was younger was that I was still stuck looking at that in terms of extreme opposites: I’m either Totally Locked In or I’m Completely Disconnected. I either have All The Feels or I’m Cynical and Don’t Give a Shit. I knew that wasn’t want I wanted, bur nor did I want to keep pretending that I could find a happy medium where I could be all at the same time. That just became emotionally and mentally exhausting.

Lately I’ve been thinking about it in terms of my own levels of media consumption. I’m not exactly talking about avoiding the online doomscrolling, though that has often been a problem. It’s more along the lines of remembering when I could consume with clarity. That is, like what I like to whatever degree, ignore what doesn’t resonate with me, and for the love of pie it’s not a contest with everyone else in the universe. Social media is fine if you set your own boundaries and catch yourself when you’re slipping into obsession, or the fear of missing out.

That was my issue: I’d set those boundaries and then completely forgot about them because my brain is wired to obsess. [Thus my ridiculously large music library.] I realized this when the pandemic started and made inroads to rewire my head a bit. It took a few years considering it had gotten out of control like weeds in an untended garden, but I got there eventually. There’s always weeding to be done, but it’s much easier to do now.

And now I’m at a point where I can do a bit of fine-tuning. With age and experience — and a rewired brain — I can say, ‘okay, this is where I want my head to be at, so let’s head in that direction.’ Listening to my favorite music from the past is helping, because I’m purposely not doing it only as a way to reminisce. I’m currently listening to the stuff from 2002-2003 while I work on the Remaster Edition of The Persistence of Memories. I’ve been posting the Thirty Years On series at the music blog and talking about 1996 (and continuing into 1997 because why not). And the long-game reason for doing this has to do with rewiring how I listen to current music: to once more listen to new releases that resonate with me, and to have it stay with me for more than just a few months. I know it can be done because there have been current releases that have done that (GIFT’s Illuminator album, for instance). And slowly, I’m starting to reclaim that.

It’s definitely an ongoing process, but it’s one that I’m able to control if I keep at it.

Back to work

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Okay, I feel much better now.

I managed to survive six early starts in a row by way of keeping my energy levels to a minimum. No going above and beyond unless absolutely necessary. Knowing when to say no or not having the ability to take on yet another Thing To Do and letting them know about it. And not pushing myself at home, either, other than sitting down and working on the Persistence remaster. The two days off were well-earned and spent, catching up on errands and writing stuff. And thankfully the upcoming work schedule is a much more manageable off-and-on that offers me more of a respite.

Now if I can only get it together enough to post more over here! I’m going to make it a point to have something up for Monday, as thankfully have Sunday off, and Sundays are perfect for prepping blog entries ahead of time.

See you then!

Fly-by: blog schedule might be a little wonky

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For the next week or so I will be doing all 4:30am opens at the Day Job as the head bookkeeper will be on a few weeks’ vacation. This means that I will be exhausted most days and may or may not have enough time to update the blogs. Boo!

I’ll try to update both of them when I can, but don’t be surprised if you only see one entry a week for a little bit. Sorry about that!