Vacationing

I mean, anything to avoid finishing this dang novel, right? Heh.

Seriously though…we’ll be taking this week off from the Day Jobs to relax a bit, see a few local sights, do some shopping, do a bit of long-needed cleaning and other house errands, visit the dentist to fix a cap (which I am doing this morning), and catch up on some much-needed sleep. And somewhere in there, I will try to make a concerted effort to plan out the rest of Theadia.

I’ve accepted that I am now at the very same point I was at with The Balance of Light: I need to finish this novel once and for all, I just need to figure out how to do it. Which means that I’ll have to spend an afternoon or two here in the office working out a planned outline, just as I did with that previous novel. I’ve got a vague idea of how it should end, but the getting there is eluding me. Well, maybe not eluding, perhaps I’m really just playing the old avoidance game. Whether that’s because I’m worried that I’ll duff the ending or that I’m already itching to move onto something else, the fact remains: I need to finish this damn thing!

I have also made it a point to start working on a few non-writing projects and catching up on some long-delayed house-related things as well. I have a few pieces of framed art that are still sitting in the office that need hanging. I have a garage storage room that needs rearranging. I have several bins of writing that have been sitting in said garage for a year that really should be more organized considering I’d stuffed them in there with no real organization other than ‘get it packed because we’re moving soon’. And I have a few art notebooks (both digital and non) that are gathering dust on my desk that I want to crack open.

Oh, and there are also all these books in my TBR pile that keep getting ignored due to my nightly ingestion of online manga (not that I’m wasting time with that, just that I’m leaving no time for reading anything else in the process). I’m going to need work on that a bit. I should also do another book purge…not that I have a ton of them like I used to (I got rid of a TON just before our move), but there are some titles I’m willing to part with and donate to one of the few sidewalk book libraries in our neighborhood. Perhaps I need to create a Read This NOW pile — not just ones I’ll get rid of afterwards, but ones I’ve been wanting to read as well — and get cracking.

But most importantly…? It’s my vacation. Time to slow down and enjoy it while it lasts.

Balancing

The other day someone on Threads mentioned how they once witnessed one of their classmates sitting next to them in a lecture hall, seemingly focused only on the detailed knitting project they were working on. The poster thought, initially, that it was rather rude of them to attend a class only to completely ignore it, only to be proven wrong when they then asked the professor a very detailed question about something that had been mentioned twenty minutes previously. Surprised and intrigued, they asked the classmate how they could do that and mentioned that the knitting was their “secondary focus”; they had ADHD and this pretty much their fidget-spinner activity. Something additional for their brain to focus on that gave their initial focus (the professor) more clarity.

Reading this, I thought: wait a minute. I used to do this all the damn time in high school and college. My notebooks were filled with made-up maps and doodles of a character I’d call Murph, maybe even the makings of a poem or a lyric. I was terrible at taking notes in school (I couldn’t focus on what the teacher was saying and transcribe it at the same time, not without missing out on bits of information) and completely by chance I realized this worked for me. Even into my post-academic years, I’d have that secondary focus going on while taking in what someone might be teaching me. And if you ever saw me at various conventions, I’d be sitting a few aisles back in the audience with a notebook out, writing notes on story ideas while also listening to the presenters. [The downside to this is that I’ve had to explain to many managers that I’m not not paying attention, this is just the way I focus on what you’re telling me.]

It occurred to me that this was exactly how I was able to write two complete novels at the same time: I worked on self-publishing A Division of Souls while writing a rough draft of Meet the Lidwells; I wrote Lidwells while writing a rough of In My Blue World. And so on, until I took some personal time off during the pandemic in 2020. I knew I could probably get away with doing it, so I just…did it.

It’s been a while since I’ve done that kind of creative multitasking, but I’m thinking it’s time for me to return to that process. I’ve been feeling kind of distracted lately and it’s causing me to lose focus on Theadia. It’s not that I have the Don’t Wannas, it’s more that I keep turning away to look at something else that might be slightly more interesting at that moment. There’s also the fact that I occasionally forget that I have those ADHD kind of issues with focus and distraction and I just sort of spiral into hyperfocus on whatever’s in front of me. It’s an ongoing battle sometimes.

My plan, at least for now, is to utilize the 750 Words site for this ‘secondary focus’. I’m not entirely sure what project I’ll work on, but I do have a few that I could pass the audition once I give it a try. Will it work? Who knows? But like I said…I just have to do it.

Year Begin: Heading into 2026

Let’s start with the things I’d like to do in 2026:

— I would like to complete and release Theadia next year, most likely during third or fourth quarter of the year. I still need to finish it, and I also need to revise it and figure out a cover for it. I’ll spend maybe a couple of weeks flitting around on the photo sites to see if I can find something that works, but I’d also like to look into seeing if I can commission an artist for it. I spent a good number of years working on this project and I’m quite proud of it, so I’d rather not drop the ball and half-ass the end result. It’s an important story for me, and I’d love for you all to read it and enjoy it.

— Will I have time to work on the Remaster for The Persistence of Memories, as originally planned? That’s a good question. I think I will, considering this one needed the least amount of work. If I recall, most of the work it did need will be for clarity or tightening up. I also might give it a newer cover. While it looks good on the physical copy, it doesn’t quite translate as well digitally. I’ll have to do some more work on that. I think I pulled one or two pictures back in the day that I liked, but I’ll see if I can find something similar that’s much more intriguing.

— I’m not going to worry too much about coming up with any new projects, especially since I have the two above to focus on. However, my plan is to keep my options open via the 750Words site. Whether it’s outtakes, MU-related ideas or just something that crossed my mind that day, I’d like to see where that takes me. I think I’ve come to the point in my creative career where I don’t feel too worried about running out of ideas, because I’ve proven to myself that was never the case. It’s always been about outer frustrations intruding into my creative life, whether it was job related or personal, and I’ve learned how to keep them separate. It still takes time and practice to keep that in place, but I’m aware of it and that’s the most important thing.

— Again, I do plan to expand my creative outlets by returning to art and music. If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s in the approach. I tend to freeze up if I force myself to do anything creative because it either feels like an assignment or an impenetrable wall. And if I approach it from that angle, then I first have to cast my creative mind aside to work past it, thus defeating the purpose. So how am I going to work this out in the new year? By taking a much simpler route: just pick up the tool and see where it takes me. It doesn’t always have to come from inspiration, sometimes it will just come from interest or curiosity. I’m curious to see what I can come up with on my guitar if I used alternate tunings. I’d like to see if I can get better at comic art. The approach is all about wanting to do it, not forcing myself to do it.

— And on a personal level, how do I want to live my life? I’ve made so many changes over the years, positive ones that needed to be taken, and now I’m at a point where I can move forward with the least amount of resistance. Where do I want to go? What do I want to do? What have I wanted to do? It doesn’t feel nearly as daunting as it used to, and that’s by design. I acknowledge the work it took that got me to this point, and now I’m allowed to keep moving in the right direction.

**

Sure, I’ve had my down moments. Times when I fell, times when I broke. But in 2025, I picked myself back up enough times that it no longer feels painful. I still feel the frustration, but now I know I can accept it each time and keep moving despite those down times. I can face the fears now. I can face the uncertainty. And that makes looking forward so much easier and clearer.

Here’s to wishing everyone a special and uplifting 2026!

Year End: Moving On

Sure, I could use the classic phrase I’m too old for this sh*t in regards to some of the more frustrating things that have happened over the past year. But really, I’m not nearly as cynical as that. Despite being firmly Gen-X, I never completely slid into full-on cynicism because I always felt it was an easy way out: writing something off by saying it was never good in the first place. It just didn’t ring true to me.

It’s true, I’ve had a few frustrating things happen here and there this year, and yes, I may have overreacted to some degree. But I’m not writing any of that off, far from it. I’m just choosing to acknowledge it and move on. Not every single event in my life needs to be a conflict that needs to be faced or resolved. Sometimes it just is what it is, and I have to adjust accordingly. I might have to make some changes, but they will be changes made my way and not out of frustration or necessity.

If anything comes with age for me, I think it’s that I’ve refined how I utilize my sense of patience. Back in my 20s I used to semi-joke I was cursed with a tremendous amount of it, primarily because it was the only reaction I could have most of the time, whether due to finances, emotional reaction, or just the situation I found myself in. Some years later I learned how to voice those frustrations, and at times I could be too vocal about it. It took me a while to find a level that wasn’t pathetic or reactionary.

It was all about balance, really. And that’s how I’ve been living since then.

Right now I know there are some things I can fix, and other things I can’t. But I know I am not chained to the places or situations I find myself in these days. It’s a matter of being able to think outside the box instead, and figuring out how to sidestep that particular obstacle and still move forward. It’s true, much of this I’ve inserted into the various characters in Theadia; many of them are just tired of doing it the old way and failing every time, and are looking for alternate ways to resolve their various conflicts. Thus their repeated mantra: if you could…would you do the right thing?

I think in 2026, this is how I’m going to try to think about my writing. While I still have a few things on the backburner waiting to be started, I’m feeling as though I’ve kept a lot of them there not out of a severe case of the Don’t Wannas, but more out of a rational sense that they may not be worth working on at this time. They might be good stories, just that I’m just not feeling the excitement about them. I’m pretty sure I’ll be finally trunking them for good pretty soon.

It’s time to move on.

Writing again…sort of

I think it’s time to start writing again. The itch to do so has been constant lately.

Even though I’m working on Theadia (and doing a soft-start for the remaster of The Persistence of Memories), I’ve been itching to just write something new. I’m not sure what just yet, and I’m not going to force it. That, and I’ve sort of resurrected some of my writing habits again — noting word count in the small black moleskine calendar notebook, for instance. I’m not doing it every day of course, I’m merely entering it every now and again when the thought and the temptation strikes.

I know I talk about this here every now and again, and I admit sometimes I’m like a broken record (a skipping cd? a corrupted FLAC?) but it’s been an ongoing process that needs constant adjustment and tweaking. We writers sometimes get all meta about our process and it’s usually because we’re trying to figure out why our processes are the way they are, why they sometimes no longer work, and what we need to do to change them. That kind of thing never ends, I’m afraid, but it’s something I’m used to at this point.

As always, it’s just a matter of doing it. Once I start, the rest comes easier.

That time of year again

It’s been a bit over three months since we moved into our New Digs, and things are finally settling and falling back into place. I might still have to remind myself that those month-end payments aren’t for rent anymore but mortgage, but other than that I’m happy that we’re here. We might be slightly further away from the shopping corridors but we’re two blocks from our community garden plot, a block away from a major bus route as well as a very large public park, and the neighborhood is thankfully much more peaceful. (Yes, even during recess for the kidlets at the school across the way.)

This is good timing, as it’s that time of year where I feel the need to change things up. And you know how I am in autumn: excited about the new music releases and contemplative about where I am and where I want to be. I’ve already made a lot of positive changes over the last few months — with room for improvement, of course — so it’s really just a matter of doing it at this point. Or not doing, depending on the situation. Some habits I find I just do not need nor want anymore. Some habits I’d like to revisit once more.

And what about writing? Well, the remaster of A Division of Souls is out and away, and I’m thinking of starting in on the remaster of The Persistence of Memories pretty soon. I’m also focusing on Theadia and it’s still looking good and on schedule for release sometime next year. But I can’t help but think: I’ve got a journal and a notebook gathering dust in my satchel right now, and my 750Words sign-in remains woefully ignored. I mean, I’ve worked on multiple stories at that same time before, so this is nothing new. I can certainly play around with writing extremely rough drafts of new ideas while spending most of my creative energies on the two main projects. And in the process, probably disconnect from a few IRL things that I don’t need to hyperfocus on.

And what better time to do it than during the season that works best for me?

Somewhere in between

I’m kind of in an interstitial space right now creatively, I think. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve stopped performing a lot of the habits I’d had over the last several years in Spare Oom — the whiteboard schedule, the logging of the word count, writing at 750Words, and so on. The main reason I stopped is that I wanted a fresh start here at the New Digs. For the most part it’s been a positive choice as I haven’t felt the stress of not hitting scheduled goals. It’s helped me focus on current projects with more clarity.

Not that I’m complaining, however. I like being here at this time, because it means that I’m breaking away from old habits and yet to forge new ones. I’m allowing myself to try new things and approach current projects in a slightly different way. Perhaps this is why I’m also allowing myself to indulge in a wave of comic reading on Hoopla these last several weeks…I get to try something new, see what inspires me.

I’ll be honest, I do occasionally feel the temptation to fire up the 750Words or do a bit of journaling, but I’ve been responding to that with well, you don’t HAVE to if you don’t really want to. Which, to me, means that if the only reason I want to do any of that is out of a sense of missing it, then I probably shouldn’t waste my time. If I’m going to return to the daily words or the journaling or anything else, I want to have a good creative reason. For the moment, I don’t want to split up my concentration on anything that’s mere folly right now, not when I want to put as much focus as I can on the Theadia project.

I suppose if this stage is anything like the one I had during the Belfry Years, this will (hopefully) mean that a lot of positive creativity will soon come out of it.

The Matrix and the Mendaihu Universes

The Matrix Resurrections, the fourth in the series, came out at the height of the pandemic, released both in theaters and streaming on HBO Max at the same time. It was kind of a weird time for all involved, of course, and while the film didn’t come close to being a financial success (mostly due to said dual release), it did feel like the start of a new chapter. And to be honest, it did kind of make me rethink how I was going to approach the fourth book in the Mendaihu Universe if I was going to write it.

We watched all four in order at that time, as A hadn’t seen movies two or three and I hadn’t seen any of them in ages, and one thing that stuck with me is that they were bigger and stronger influences on my trilogy than I’d remembered. It all lines up: the first movie opened in March of 1999, right about the time I’d been thinking about reworking The Phoenix Effect into what would become A Division of Souls. The second and third movies, The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions, would come out in May and November 2003, right about the time I was working on The Persistence of Memories. I especially appreciated that the side-story anthology The Animatrix came out between those two in June 2003, expanding the universe even more, creating more lore that didn’t exactly tie in with Neo’s story.

I think one of the biggest influences on the Bridgetown Trilogy is in fact the expansion of Neo’s story from the original film to its conclusion. I liked that the second and third movies took what had happened in the first — Neo’s awakening into a rebel fighter against the Matrix and its Agents — and expanded on that. Primarily, asking the question: now that you have the power, what are you going to do with it? That soon became Denni’s personal mantra throughout the Bridgetown Trilogy as well; she was well aware of what she could do, so her own conflict was deciding what she should do.

There are other moments, of course. Not gonna lie, the leather duster and the form-fitting uniform of the Mendaihu Elder is definitely a sly wink at Neo and Trinity’s get-up throughout their own series. Little things like levitation and the ability to wield Light came from direct influence as well. I made them my own by thinking about what this kind of action or ability would look like in my own created universe, and expanding from there.

Back to Resurrections, I would say that movie helped me think more about how to frame the fourth book in the Mendaihu Universe. Again, there’s direct inspiration: Resurrections explores life within the Matrix years later, when Neo has become a distorted myth and its believers have forgotten the true history. While the movie focuses on Neo’s rebirth and Trinity’s reawakening, I plan on having MU4 focus on the myth: what happens when belief in the One of All Sacred evolves and becomes a weapon itself. I had the beginnings of that particular idea after I’d released The Balance of Light, but watching Resurrections helped sharpen that idea into something I could expand upon.

Right now, I’m focusing mostly on Theadia, so this one might not arrive until maybe 2027, but we shall see. I’ve got time and I’ve still got the influences and inspirations to work with.

Coming 2026

If you could…would you do the right thing?

Althea Gataki loves what she does, even when it drives her crazy. She works tech support in the communications field and knows all the ins and outs — and maybe some paths that aren’t entirely all that legal. She puts everything into her job, because she likes it done right the first time. She’s not afraid to take chances, especially when she finds answers where no one else dares. Her older brother is an ace military pilot, and she’s annoyed that he doesn’t write more often.

Claudia Beecham is an engineering wiz but works far below her status as a coding boffin for a vendor that creates communication devices, both public and military. She’s quiet and unassuming and she’d like to keep it that way so she doesn’t attract unneeded attention. She’s also one of those Beechams, part of a large extended family stretching across several levels of the FairIsle Space Force.

Althea and Claudia are lovers, huge nerds, avoiders of family drama, and owners of a ridiculous and sassy Maine coon cat named Grizelda. They’re both turning twenty and must soon make their Citizen Claim for FairIsle, deciding once and for all if they will become permanent stationsiders or planetsiders. And all they want is to spend their hard-earned vacation time relaxing and staying away from the chaos of FairIsle’s fiftieth annual Emancipation Day celebrations. Simple request, yes?

Not when your homeworld is on the verge of being re-invaded by that same federation it escaped those fifty years ago.

Theadia is the story of two young women coming to terms with an uncertain future. It’s the story of a young planet and its space station making a name for itself as a successful transportation hub in the local galaxy. It’s the story of friends and comrades realizing they cannot always depend on their leaders. It’s the story of one’s willingness to take dangerous chances, even when it could mean your job…or your life.

Theadia is the story of doing the right thing.

Almost there…

I am SO CLOSE to finishing this go-round of the Trilogy Remaster for A Division of Souls! I’m about twenty pages from the last one (this includes the original endnotes and whatnot), so that means I can give it yet one more read-through before prepping it for the planned September release. I’m almost never this ahead of schedule!

Speaking of, I’ve also been thinking of having a bit of fun with the tenth anniversary remaster here at the blog and possibly elsewhere. Sort of like when I celebrated the project’s twentieth anniversary back in March 2017 (for those curious, I started The Phoenix Effect in March 1997 which would become the trilogy a few years later). Posting things like outtakes, maps, drawings, stuff like that. Stay tuned!

But for now, the next step in my plan is to get it all ready to go early, that way I can get back to working on Theadia. That project needs a lot of attention I haven’t been able to give to it lately, so it’ll feel great to have that on the front burner once again. I admit I have a lot of vague plans for it and a few set-in-stone ones that I’d like to focus on. Most of you have read some of the outtakes here, but for the most part it’s a story I haven’t shared with anyone yet. I hope you enjoy it!