Tag: day job

More on the MU chronology

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As part of this ongoing Trilogy Remastering project, I’ve been trying to nail down some of the start dates of the books. I’ve long had a habit of timestamping my work (especially longhand, though I sometimes forget to do so when it’s straight to Word), so the accuracy is pretty good most of the time. I have the start and end dates of Books 2 and 3 confirmed. However, I was still using MS Write when I started writing A Division of Souls and those files don’t always provide what I need. It always bothered me in later years that I could never quite nail down when that first book was started, other than remembering that it took around a year and a half to write.

Recently, however, I think I got a bit of clarity on it. A rough listing so far:

8/7/1998 — The Phoenix Effect (longhand version) stopped
8/19/1998 — The Phoenix Effect (PC version) completed
8/25/1998 — Keepers of the Wards (first aborted TPE sequel) started
5/5/1999 — Keepers of the Wards stopped
Summer/Autumn 1999 — work on revision for The Phoenix Effect, submission to various agencies
12/9/1999 — The Veil (second aborted TPE sequel) started
2/22/2000 — The Veil stopped
4/23/2000 — The Mihari* (first aborted rewrite of The Phoenix Effect) started
6/??/2000 — A Division of Souls (second rewrite of TPE) started (originally titled The Mihari: The Division of Souls)
8/??/2000 — Plans to leave HMV, start looking for new job (early August)
8/12/2000 — Interview for job at Yankee Candle (Saturday open-house)
9/??/2000 — Official final day at HMV (possibly 1st or 8th)
9/11/2000 — Start job at YC
11/??/2000 — Switch from 2nd to 1st shift at YC (7am-3pm, shifted back one hour by early 2001)

That last entry is important. Because of that early end time, I quickly realized that I could utilize those afternoons to do my comic book and CD runs in the Amherst/Hadley area (a quick twenty minute trip down Route 116 from Deerfield on Wednesdays), come home and relax for a bit, have dinner with the family, then work on Division for a few hours in the evenings. That would become my constant writing schedule for the next few years until I moved out in March of 2005.

The above timeline sounds about right, as I’d had the idea to completely rewrite TPE from scratch during the spring and summer of 2000 during my last months at HMV. I was just loath to actually go through with it until I knew that alternate routes wouldn’t work, and I’d been dealing with a lot of day job stress at the time. I didn’t want to overburden myself if I didn’t have the spoons.

This plan, however, became a long-game plan to fully change how I wrote. I suppose these days you could use the word ‘vibe’ to describe what I’d been doing; I’d come up with interesting ideas but I was still focusing on the mood of the story rather than the prose or even the lyricism of it, and it was painfully obvious that it wasn’t working. I went into ADoS with the idea that my prose should have more heft and personality instead of the Hollywood bombast. I also went in knowing that this might take a while, but I was willing to put in the time and the work.

That obstacle of working second shift at YC did put a damper on things a bit, as I wasn’t always able to get any work done in the morning and early afternoon before work, which frustrated me. But when the offer to switch came up I immediately went for it. And for the next four years I worked on that long-game plan, writing the trilogy and getting better at my craft.

**

[* – Yes, The Mihari was the original title of the trilogy, a word cribbed from a Japanese pocket dictionary back in 1997 that means “to watch over”. It’s the original name of the Mendaihu, with the Shenaihu having the Japanese word misuteru instead, meaning ‘to abandon’. I knew it was shameless appropriation even then, but for now it was just an anime-inspired placeholder until I came up with something better. The terms Mendaihu and Shenaihu are relatively recent, created in 2011 when I started work on the initial revision for its eventual self-publishing.]

Getting through mental overload

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I seem to be doing a lot of problem solving for other people at the day job lately, and while I’m more than happy to help when needed, there comes a point where it feels like any decision or solution is deferred to me. I mean, sure, it’s partly because I’m at an ersatz managerial level to some degree. [I’m not part of the management team per se but I do occasionally have to play the role of floor manager in my area.] Having to solutionify so often, especially when it’s several times in one week, my mental and social batteries start to drain a bit.

And the downside to that is that I end up not having enough spoons to get any writing work done at any point that day.

So what do I do about this? I’ve been thinking about it over the last couple of weeks, which have been more mentally exhausting than usual for me. A lot of the situations I speak of don’t need a lot of hard thinking, really — most of these are just a quick bit of problem solving (such as ‘how do I give this customer a discount that should have worked on this register but didn’t?’). So I need to start doing two things: one, explain to these coworkers of mine that we do in fact have the ability and the permission to adjust on the fly (within reason, legality and regulation, of course). And two, coach them to make those moves without actually needing to ask my permission or handholding every time.

[A slightly unrelated third step I need to take is to explain that I might not be able to answer you right away if I’m speaking with someone, and especially if that someone is a customer. I’m not being rude, I just can’t handle multiple disparate threads of conversations at the same time like I used to.]

I’ve often said that my job can be a bit like playing 5D chess. Yes, even if I’m just packing your bag: I look at your purchase, make a mental note of how it could be bagged without making it too heavy, and maintaining a conversation with you at the same time. And on top of that, I’m usually thinking about what next bookkeeping things I need to do before lunch or punching out, or remembering to do a non-urgent something a manager asked me to take care of a while back. And lots of interruptions, white noise and solving several other peoples’ problems is not something I can or should keep doing. I end up getting overloaded and mentally exhausted.

And this is why I plan on doing two things during my upcoming weeklong vacation time off: catch up on sleep, and figure out a plan on how to adjust all of this to make it work a bit better.

Where to…?

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I’ve been tempted to not use the breakroom at work lately, though given that my non-lunch breaks are only ten minutes, that doesn’t give me all that much time to do anything other than unwind my head a bit before starting up again.

And yet, what if I walk around the block a few times? I know, I know…after standing for a few hours, the last thing my legs want to do is move, and yet I’m starting to think that’s exactly what they do need. My knees tend to lock up if I’m standing in one place for too long, so I try to stretch them a bit during slow times. A few of my coworkers have been known to zip outside during their breaks, whether to have a smoke, use their phone or chat with a coworker, so maybe I need to get myself outside as well. My shop is in the Avenues in the Sunset District and also on a flat part of the neighborhood, so perhaps doing a few walks around the block might not be bad at all.

And considering I wouldn’t be staring at my phone, that would give me a bit of mental peace as well. Perhaps think about whatever story I happen to be working on. Something to take my mind off the on-off cycle of register jockeying and on-the-fly problem-solving whenever something goes wrong. That way, not only would I get a bit of stretch and exercise, I’d also clear my head a bit as well.

Weather permitting, of course. We all know how weird San Francisco weather can be.

What’s next…?

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A good question, that. With Theadia on the back burner until further notice, the only other project I have on deck is the remaster of The Balance of Light, thus completing the Trilogy Remaster. After that, I’ve got nothing planned. I’ve been sort of hyping myself into writing another Mendaihu Universe book or two, however. And I’ve also been thinking about reviving Walk in Silence (the book) one more time in hopes that it’ll stick this time.

Truth be told, I’m fine with not worrying too much about it these days. The older I get, the less I feel the need to Do All The Things Right Now Before It’s Too Late, and I think that’s a good and healthy thing. I’ve always had a habit of constantly being in motion until I run out of mental or emotional gas, not to mention having a secondary habit of people-pleasing to a self-defeating extent. I’m at an age where it’s time to listen to what my body and mind are telling me. And right now they’re telling me that now is probably a good time to give these two projects some much-needed and long-delayed attention.

The issue with these two possibilities is that they both have repeatedly suffered from being shifted aside, whether because of writer’s block, personal situations or shifting priorities. I’ve never given up on them, they just remained on the back burner. But these days, I’ve given them both a rethink and realized what I’d been doing wrong all this time: lack of immersion. With WiS it was a lack of a solid direction that kept me from going deeper into the book I wanted to write; I had at least two or three different versions I wanted to try but never decided which one would prove the best. And with MU4, every version felt like I was just trying to emulate the mood and the ambience of the Bridgetown Trilogy without actually going all that deep into the universe.

What’s different this time? Well, time and age have mellowed me out a bit, I suppose, but I think it’s also that I’ve left both on the backburner for several years at this point, and approaching them now feels different. I think I have a clearer idea on how to each of them need to be handled. With MU4, it has to do with remembering how I started writing The Phoenix Effect in the first place: a new story with a new goal, and let it all evolve and expand organically instead of shoehorning it into place. With WiS, a recent conversation with a coworker about alternative rock inspired me to follow a new direction that had been floating around my brain for the last couple of months. And most importantly, I realized that the best way to do all of this is the same way I came back to these blogs and returning to my daily 750Words a few months ago: just do the damn thing already and stop overthinking it.

I still have no idea if any of it will pan out, but I’d like to think these projects are still worth the try.

Falling into place

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“I didn’t play all Tetris all those years for nothing.” It’s something I’ve said to my customers at my shop when they marvel at how I manage to completely fill their shopping bags and yet still keep them reasonably light. You’ll notice that I’m looking at the items on the belt, scribbles of algebra floating around my head just like in the meme, working out what can go where before I even pick it up. It keeps me entertained and makes the shift go by quicker.

But it’s just how I’ve trained my brain to think when I have to do a task (or in some cases, write a novel) that has numerous moving parts. It’s one of my favorite things to do, actually — thinking a few steps ahead, looking at what I’ve been given and how I can make it work a few steps further on. And in terms of writing, it really comes in handy when I have to think through an idea and debate how it might affect the story or the characters in the future. That, in turn, helps me plan out more of the plot direction. It’s how I worked out the Bridgetown Trilogy with its several plot threads and expanded cast!

But yeah, sometimes it just works really well for me in Real Life, whether it’s planning out an errand or a project, or simply bagging things for my customers.

Back to normal

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Today marks the last of five days in a row of my oddball day job schedule as the person whose job I was covering has come back from their three-week vacation. It’s taken a lot out of me and I’m sore and exhausted most of the time, but I survived intact. The trick was to purposely not run myself ragged at top speed every single moment. There were a few tense moments where I had to hide away in the bookkeeping booth to wind myself down a bit, but for the most part I kept as much as I could under control.

I’m even kind of surprised I managed to get a lot done with the Remaster for The Persistence of Memories! Then again, this is (a) my favorite book in the trilogy and (b) the one I feel is the best of the three. Most of the work has been the occasional spot-clean and rewording a few clunky sentences here and there. I’ll give it another reread once I’m done, and hopefully have it ready for re-release by the end of the year!

But yeah…after today, I’ll be enjoying a quiet four-day reprieve, and I’m looking forward to getting some remastering work done!

Early morning wake-up

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It’s another few days ahead of waking up at stupid:early AM for the 4am shift start. I can certainly still do it at my age, even if I don’t get enough sleep the night before, though I pay for it later that day once I’m off the clock. But I keep telling myself: if I can make it through the first couple of hours when I’m solo and prepping the front end for doors open, then I’m all set for the rest of the shift when the rest of my team comes in. From there it’s a matter of not overexerting myself and taking each issue calmly.

I don’t stretch as much as I should, though I’m doing it a lot more than I used to. I’m walking a lot more, as this is a pretty big shop and I usually have a lot of things to do that take me to different departments. I average around three miles on a good day, often more! But during those quiet times when I’m filling in at the register for someone, I’ll do Rin Shima’s stretches you see above right (the cross-arm and the overhead), then I’ll do the foot rotation stretches I used to do at Yankee Candle.

I still have not been able to do any creative work while at the day job as it doesn’t really provide me with enough time for it. But I’m okay with that now. The day job is the day job and I’ll focus on that while I’m on the clock. But as soon as I’m home — well, after giving the cats proper attention and winding down with some passive internetting — I’ll get myself started with the blogging and the 750. And finally, after dinner, I’ll start working on the main project, in this case the Persistence Remaster.

Pretty much close to what I used to do at YC. Not exact, but I’m no longer trying for exact. I’m just looking for whatever works best.

Mind you, after those early morning wake-ups, I get to appreciate the days off where I can sleep in that much more.

Back to work

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Okay, I feel much better now.

I managed to survive six early starts in a row by way of keeping my energy levels to a minimum. No going above and beyond unless absolutely necessary. Knowing when to say no or not having the ability to take on yet another Thing To Do and letting them know about it. And not pushing myself at home, either, other than sitting down and working on the Persistence remaster. The two days off were well-earned and spent, catching up on errands and writing stuff. And thankfully the upcoming work schedule is a much more manageable off-and-on that offers me more of a respite.

Now if I can only get it together enough to post more over here! I’m going to make it a point to have something up for Monday, as thankfully have Sunday off, and Sundays are perfect for prepping blog entries ahead of time.

See you then!

Getting through

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This past week has been a bit tough.

On the home front, we’ve been dealing with weird weather that’s been stuck in the mid-sixties with 85-95% humidity for a full month without a break, which means high pollen count, and which also means that my sleep patterns have been interrupted by serious sinus and ear congestion waking me up unless I take a few Benadryl before lights out. And on the day job front, I’ve just finished off five 4am starts in a row (filling in for main bookkeeper who took evening shifts to train a few night people to ease our morning workload). Suffice it to say I’ve been feeling exhausted and loopy the entire time.

The good thing is that Sunday’s weather was quite enjoyable, a much more tolerable 65% humidity and yay, the sun finally blessed the Richmond District with its presence! Heh. Windows were opened and rooms were dusted so that perhaps I can breathe a little easier in the next few days. If all else fails, I think we still have the air purifier from our old apartment somewhere in garage storage that I could bring up and run for a bit.

Meanwhile, yes, I have somehow managed to keep plodding on with the Remaster project for The Persistence of Memories! After chilling out after work and getting my second wind, I have managed to get a good few pages done every night, right alongside getting myself reacclimated with my daily 750 Words. Despite my exhaustion this past week, I’m still powering through because this is a project I’m enjoying, and it’s something I really want to do. And that’s a good a reason as any!

Slow going

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I admit I am a bit frustrated that it’s taking me forever to finish Theadia. My writing sessions lately have been sluggish and not all that productive, getting only maybe a few hundred words at most, and often quite less. Right now I’m stuck on a scene that’s taking me forever to get through, mainly because I have only the vaguest of ideas of what I want to do with it. [There’s also the fact that I’ve been dealing with spring allergies lately, which have been leaving me with less energy than I usually have.]

As always, the only thing I can do right now is power through.

Meanwhile, what else is happening on the creative front? Well, not all that much at the moment, sadly. I’ve been kind of delaying that more than I really should. Perhaps it’s a mix of not wanting to force myself into anything else at the moment and the fact that I’m still getting used to my recent job transfer. Not that it’s harder or more stressful, quite the opposite; it’s actually that it’s taking time for me to get used to not stress-working through multiple responsibilities (each with constantly shifting priority levels). This change in stress levels means that my body is responding in kind, suddenly realizing wait, you mean I can finally relax? SWEET! I’m sure it’ll balance out eventually and I’ll be back to normal soon.

I remember this happening when I left the Former Day Job six years ago. I had no idea how flipping exhausted I was then, and it took quite a few months for everything to go back to normal. I don’t expect it to take nearly as long this time of course, but I’m still a bit impatient about it.

Like I said, powering through.