WHOOF. It’s been a busy couple of weeks despite the slowdown at the Day Job. I’ve been working multiple midshifts while still managing to squeeze in writing sessions, blog entries and cat distractions, so I’m feeling a bit tired and sleepy. I’m still getting a lot done, but every now and again something needs to temporarily fall by the wayside so I can remain caught up.
I should be back on Monday, thanks for your patience!
I’m rather glad that this year’s Q4 hasn’t been all that stressful. Exhausting, sure, but very low stress despite the fact I work in retail. And yet I’m trying to squeeze blog posting, daily words and work on Theadia these days, but that’s only because I actually have a lot going on! We’ve been busy for the past couple of weekends, and even though I’ve been working mostly days, there’s still some hour variance that leaves me with ample time some days and not enough elsewhere.
And yet I still soldier on somehow. Enjoying the sounds and the moods of the season, chatting with our regular customers, sharing jokes with coworkers, and generally clocking out in a good mood. That’s just fine for me.
Hope everyone has a lovely holiday!
I seem to be running out of time to write lately, and it’s bothersome.
To be honest, it’s not as if I’m overly distracted or simply just procrastinating these days. I’ll still deal with the Don’t Wannas every now and again, but for the most part I’ve been doing good. Just…not giving myself enough time.
Part of it lately is that I’ve been working a few odd hours at the Day Job that get me out around 4pm instead of 2pm, which leaves me with a few hours to hang with A and the cats until after dinner, by which time I end up scrunching multiple things into about an hour and a half of time. And to be honest, that ain’t working.
One thing I should probably do is prep multiple blog entries on the same day like I used to — that can easily be done if I give myself time to think about what I want to write about. And though I truly enjoy using the 750Words site, I think I’m at a point where I don’t need to work there right now. At this point writing there is more about getting those words done than using it for various projects. I’m not abandoning it, of course…I’m merely putting it aside.
The other thing I need to do is lay some ground rules, specifically one: what project(s) needs the most focus right now? In this case, I have two I want to focus on: finishing Theadia and starting the remaster of A Division of Souls. I already have schedule plans for each, so that shouldn’t be a problem. And when I’m done with Theadia then I can finally shift the bulk of my focus on writing MU4.
So yeah, I don’t think it’s distraction, at least not right now. Just needing to rethink my schedule a bit.
I might not be doing nearly as much writing and revising as I should these last couple of weeks, but fear not, I am not avoiding it. Merely just waylaid by Day Jobbery and trying to sort through the plots of two major projects in my head at the same time. And I’m trying not to make it all complicated.
The ending of Theadia might feature several characters doing several different things all at the same time to achieve one singular goal, but the important thing for me to remember is to take it one step at a time. There’s a lot to juggle but if I already know where all the pieces fit into the larger pattern, all I need to do is carefully and patiently put them all together. I learned that with the Bridgetown Trilogy.
And speaking of which, I’m also prepping myself to start (restart?) MU4 which, like the trilogy, has a lot of moving parts and patterns. I’ve worked and reworked them in my head for probably far too long, so I think it’s time to just start writing it. Put pen to paper and move. And to remind myself that despite the darker moments of this particular new project, there must also be moments of incredible light. That’s always been the theme of the Mendaihu Universe: the yin-yang balances of the world around us.
Every now and again I still need to remind myself of that. Not just in my writing projects, but in life as well. The Day Job might be stressful lately, but it also remains a place I’m proud of working at (and that in itself is something I very rarely admit to).
So, how is my little experiment with passing the time at work going?
Well, it could be going better to be honest. I’m still finding too many excuses (and they are excuses) not to pull out my phone and screw around on Threads for the short amount of time I have for breaks. I mean, fine, it’s downtime and there’s nothing inherently wrong with using said time to mindlessly scroll social media…but like I said, I don’t want to do it anymore, and I’m trying my damnedest to get OUT of that habit.
I’m just not trying hard enough, really.
On the plus side, though…I have been doing a damn fine job of maintaining a level of Zen while at work. For a little while there I was letting myself get too frustrated and/or distracted and reactive to situations, just like I would do in the past, but that doesn’t happen nearly as much these days. Sure, I’ll get a bit snippy or grumble to myself in certain situations, but I’ll let it go very soon after and not continue to dwell on it.
And creativity-wise? I’ve scaled back the prep work, so to speak. For a while there I was carrying a small but bulky notebook in my jacket pocket, which did get its use, but I’m back to the old-school ways again, using my trusty back-pocket pad. Why? Because it provides lower expectations. I’m not writing anything big there, but I am starting to write down more lines of lyrics/poetry and the occasional WIP note. And that’s all I really need right now.
I’ve been toying with the idea of bringing my satchel to work. Right now the only thing I usually bring is my coffee thermos and my lunch bag, but I’ve been thinking lately about bringing just a few things more.
The main reason, to be honest, is to change some habits.
I’m really getting sick of spending my entire breaks staring at my phone and reading social media. I mean, there’s no real harm in it as I curate my feeds pretty thoroughly these days, but I’m kind of getting bored by it, to be honest. Not the feeds themselves, mind you. Just the habit of doing it every single flipping moment that I have a break. I don’t really enjoy it anymore, to be honest. I’ll check my emails or any texts I get from A, but not much else.
I’ve been thinking about it: bring in a few things I will definitely interact with: my moleskine personal journal, a word search magazine, that sort of thing. Preferably something not electric if I can get away with it. Perhaps bring in one of my empty spiral-bound notebooks for some longhand work.
And yes, that’s another reason: getting out of the habit of passive scrolling and into the habit of fun creativity at work. I’m not aiming to write a novel here (not just yet, anyway), but I think I would benefit from using downtime for things I enjoy. The tricky part here is that our break room is tiny, so I’d either need to find a spot outside (in the car if I’m driving, for instance) or on the roof. But I’ll figure that out when it comes to it.
Either way, I’m up for a change. I’m due for a change, at any rate.
I’m doing a little bit better with the walking to and from work instead of taking the car, but I could probably stand to be less lazy about it. There are days where I’ll take the bus in (after all, my commute might be only eight blocks but it’s literally all uphill) and walk back, even when I’ve had a ridiculously busy day at work, and I think I need to do that more.
It’s not as if my Day Job is sedentary…I can do up to four or five miles a shift with all the walking and moving around I do within the span of eight hours. Perhaps that’s partly why I don’t always have the moments to step aside and write out story ideas or work through something. It really depends on the day.
Still, I’m glad that I’m moving around a lot more than I was during the Previous Day Job, which had me sitting on my behind and snacking more often than I really should. All this moving around keeps me healthy and my blood pressure at normal levels. And when I’m walking home after a shift, it’s a stretch of time where I don’t have to think about anything else. I don’t use earbuds, so I only listen to the world around me. Some of those walks have been spent thinking about what needs to be done with my WIP, or working out how I want a certain scene to go. And most importantly, I get to unwind for a little bit before I start the writing work again!
There are just some days at the Day Job that leave me so exhausted that you say okay fine, I’m taking a day off and passing out on the bed instead of trying to work through this chapter. And as all good writers do, I always feel incredibly guilty about it, even though I should know better that creativity rarely works well during a drain of energy.
It’s been a couple of busy days at the Day Job, mainly due to back to back holidays known to be extremely chaotic in retail (Mother’s Day and Memorial Day), a strong wave of warm and sunny days in the neighborhood, as well as the final days of the local middle and high schools wrapping up, bringing twitchy teens loading up on snacks and drinks.
Usually I can get a few hundred words done despite this, but the deal-breaker this time has been allergies. Those warm and sunny days have brought along several blooming and pollenating plants and trees that have kept me stuffed up and/or handling a migraine throughout my shifts. I look forward to days off when this kind of thing lays me low.
Still…I don’t feel too guilty about missing a few days or doing the least amount of writing work. It annoys me that I have to sacrifice that and not something else, but I’ve made my peace with that some time ago. As long as I’m able to get back to work soon enough.
In Theadia, our two main characters are computer nerds. However, I’m trying to avoid as much techspeak infodumping as I can. Can it be done?
That’s a good question. I mean, I’m basing their work background on my own experience at the Former Day Job — basically working behind the scenes as code checkers to make sure system are working the way they’re supposed to work, and to figure out solutions when they’re not. And believe you me, I did a LOT of that over the fourteen years I was there. And if I learned anything, it’s that there are indeed code geeks out there who are not savants but instead kinda sorta know what they’re doing and hope for the best. That is what the leads in my novel are about: they’re good at it, but it really is all held together with sticky tape and dreams most of the time.
This upcoming project is very much like that: you’re probably not going to see the stock characters of the introvert genius who saves the day, but you’ll definitely see the common citizen who’s hoping it doesn’t all go kerflooey at the worst possible moment. I like the idea that the world is not just imperfect, it’s messy as hell, and we’re all pretending that we have it under control. Theadia is about people who aren’t in charge, but do know what they’re doing. Sort of.
Getting back to the question, I do in fact have a few techspeak infodumping scenes, but they’re not the kind you’re expecting. Again, I based it on my own experience: the most common reason for system failure at my FDJ was either someone making a really stupid mistake upstream (or just plain not knowing what they’re doing), or someone forgetting that what works on the shiny and clean test platform will trip up in the messy and chaotic live platform. I have a few scenes not just explaining this, but having my two mains exploit it. The trick isn’t so much hacking in, it’s not getting caught. And if you know how and where to go…
So. Do I have anything big planned for 2024? Good question.
If you’re talking about writing, sure. I’m hoping to get Queen Ophelia’s War finished and ready for mid-year release, as I’ve mentioned previously. And maybe Theadia as well a little bit later, if I get it prepared in time.
But what about personal things?
I’d mentioned very briefly here that one of my new resolutions is to Slow the F*** Down. Part of this is related to the Day Job, in which I’d fallen into the same damn habit I’d always had with most of my day jobs over the years: always trying to finish everything as quickly as possible. And in this case, considering that I’m back in retail, it meant being a fast checker, helping out as many people as possible, and always stressing out when the lines were long. I fell into the trap of thinking I’d better do it because no one else will, and I’d end up just making more work for myself in the process. I’d finally admitted that maybe I don’t need to be like that, considering nearly everyone else I work with goes at their own (often much slower) speed. Doing this all the time only led to exhaustion and certain managers wondering why I would seem overwhelmed.
I’ve since chosen to Slow the F*** Down at the Day Job, and I’m feeling a lot happier about it. I’ve adjusted responsibilities somewhat and admitted there are times when I should ask for help. I’ve found that there are situations that are Not My Problem. And I’ve admitted there are times when I’m just making more work for myself, whether by overthinking it or giving myself overly high expectations. In the process, I’ve learned to shift certain responsibilities to others when needed, and understanding that, unlike the Former Day Job, there isn’t an OMFGNOW deadline.
I suppose there’s more to it than just the Day Job and the Writing Career going on here, but I don’t have the words for it just yet as I’m still trying to get it straight in my own head. There is indeed a bit of final rewiring of thoughts and emotions going on lately, and that in itself has been a long-game process over the last couple of years that I think is finally coming to a close. A lot of it is about self-confidence and self-trust, but it’s also about reining in those overly high expectations that I’d just mentioned.
So if anything, I think 2024 is going to be about Where I’m Going and Where I’ll Be.
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