It’s Inktober time!

It’s been a few years since I’ve actively joined in the fun with this! I’ve got the time, my plate is relatively well organized (if not always clear), and I’m not in the middle of some sort of major project or personal crisis or whatever has kept me from it in the past.

That’s how I’m going to focus on it this year: have fun with it! I’m not out to prove anything, I really shouldn’t try to aim for perfection with every single prompt. Just draw whatever comes to mind. It could be the first image that pops up in my brain, or it could be a ridiculous pun or a music reference (I mean, #16 just begs to be full of flannel shirts). Don’t think to hard, just have fun.

And that’s something I need to remind myself of more often!

Passing the time

So, how is my little experiment with passing the time at work going?

Well, it could be going better to be honest. I’m still finding too many excuses (and they are excuses) not to pull out my phone and screw around on Threads for the short amount of time I have for breaks. I mean, fine, it’s downtime and there’s nothing inherently wrong with using said time to mindlessly scroll social media…but like I said, I don’t want to do it anymore, and I’m trying my damnedest to get OUT of that habit.

I’m just not trying hard enough, really.

On the plus side, though…I have been doing a damn fine job of maintaining a level of Zen while at work. For a little while there I was letting myself get too frustrated and/or distracted and reactive to situations, just like I would do in the past, but that doesn’t happen nearly as much these days. Sure, I’ll get a bit snippy or grumble to myself in certain situations, but I’ll let it go very soon after and not continue to dwell on it.

And creativity-wise? I’ve scaled back the prep work, so to speak. For a while there I was carrying a small but bulky notebook in my jacket pocket, which did get its use, but I’m back to the old-school ways again, using my trusty back-pocket pad. Why? Because it provides lower expectations. I’m not writing anything big there, but I am starting to write down more lines of lyrics/poetry and the occasional WIP note. And that’s all I really need right now.

A creativity rethink

No, I don’t plan on giving up this writing gig anytime soon. I’m seven books in, one I’m currently working on and a few future ideas on the back burner, and I have no plans on letting them fall by the wayside.

I’ve been thinking — again — about other creative outlets lately. More to the point, how I haven’t allowed myself to give them any proper focus and practice to be anything other than passing hobbies. I’ve often said my other two creative outlets would be art and music, but I’ve spent so long working on writing novels that I rarely ever have time for either of them.

Why is that? Well, part of it has been just not allowing myself the time. Balancing the novel writing and the Day Job (and spending some time IRL with A.) often leaves me with very little time to do anything else. I still have a habit of carrying a notebook with me at all times so I could easily spend a few moments doodling. I have enough time outside of the Day Job that I can pick up my guitar and noodle for a bit. And I’m better at both than I used to be just ten years ago.

What’s stopping me? I think it’s that my creative brain gets stuck on the ‘well, you’re not bad, but there’s at least 9,000 more hours of practice and experience before you’ll be good‘ and I put it aside for a later time. And that later time keeps getting pushed further into the future.

I think I’m perhaps also a little daunted by seeing so many musicians and artists relying on computer software nowadays, and simply I don’t have the money to spend or the PC memory to eat up (or the desk space, for that matter) for it right now. And then I start thinking that maybe my art and music should remain a hobby.

But if I’m going to take either of them more seriously, I realize what I should do is take the same route I did with my writing: Do It Yourself.

I mean, my inspiration for having a DIY writing career is based on music, so I’ve got the knowledge to go that route anytime I want, right? Why should I worry about trying to learn the technology when I have the Beatle-based inspiration of pushing a button, saying ‘oh hey this sounds neat’ and running with it? I’m not a synthpop based performer that needs all the doowackies; Drunken Owl is more something you’d hear on Slumberland Records than a hipster indie label, and would be right at home on Bandcamp.

As for art? Who knows what would come of that. A webcomic? Storyboarding? Something else? And as for photography, I really just need to give myself the time to properly edit the pictures and make them saleable on stock footage sites like Shutterstock.

The net is vast and infinite, as Major Kusanagi says. I just have to make the time to explore it.

On creating new characters midstream

Okay, so Captain Will Dewar in Theadia is definitely not Space Pirate Captain Harlock, but the gif was too good to pass up, heh.

Anyway, I’m kind of stuck on how to write Dewar, as he’s a relatively new character unlike nearly everyone else in the novel. But in the process, I’m reminded that this also happened back when I was writing A Division of Souls; originally Christine Gorecki was merely a name of an old friend that Poe mentioned during a tense moment to ease Caren’s distress. By The Persistence of Memories she’d acquired a major role.

So why Dewar, anyway? Again, he was originally a one-off, someone mentioned in passing during a conversation between a few flight captains, someone known as being gruff and not entirely friendly but someone who could be trusted. As it happens in this particular revision/rewrite, I need to expand his role as someone willing to take extremely dangerous chances in order to help the main characters achieve their goals.

But who is he when he’s not in uniform? What kind of civilian would he be? Well, I kind of see him a bit like Alan Ritchson’s take on the Jack Reacher character: ridiculously well-built, surprisingly intelligent, yet a bit of a quiet loner. He’s not all that easy to rile up, but you don’t want to be in the same area when he is. I wouldn’t say he has a strong sense of justice, but more like a strong drive to ensure the right thing is done, and done correctly the first time. He craves competence.

All this thought and brainstorming, just for a secondary character! Well, this is why I loved writing the Bridgetown trilogy so much: every character in that universe has a backstory and a reason for being there, and that’s exactly the kind of writing work I love doing. [Why yes, I’m definitely anti-AI when it comes to creativity, why do you ask?] While I do have some idea of who Dewar is and what he’s about, I’m still a bit vague on his reasons for being who he is and why he does what he does, and how he relates to the other characters.

Well, that’s something I’ll need to keep plugging away on, isn’t it?

Theadia and…Knitting?

It was supposed to be a one-off joke that most likely wouldn’t have made it into the finished version, but somehow it’s become an all-encompassing theme within this project. And to be honest, I’m totally fine with that because it works perfectly!

Theadia has numerous knitting and crafting references littered throughout. The three main military space ships we see are pins (small one-person fighters that serve as the front lines), needles (two-seaters working as artillery) and stashes (boxy, bulky troop transporters). The main setting is a well-off planet and space station called FairIsle (named after the Shetland island known for its knitting) and the planet’s central capital is Beam City (a weaving tool). And so on.

So why knitting, anyway? Well, originally it was a nod to A’s craft projects — she’s made numerous scarves, fingerless gloves, toys and baby clothes over the years, and that’s her creative outlet while mine has been writing. Something we both enjoy immensely even when we’re doing something else like listening to music or watching TV, or more more recently, even despite the constant and sometimes destructive interruptions of our cats!

The more I leaned on this little in-joke, the more I realized that it was a perfect metaphor for the project itself: every single event is interwoven with something else that happens elsewhere. Whether it’s a character’s refusal to act or another’s fearless action that changes the course of history, their actions are not just about their own world.

Reminding myself that weaving is the main structure of this entire project is what’s helping me in this new revision/rewrite. Whatever new scenes I’m working on have to not just tie in (har har) with the plot in general, but have to, in some way or another, cause or influence a change down the road. So by the time we’re near the end of the story, we have a whole tapestry of events going on about to lead to something unexpected yet extremely important.

Not bad for a one-off joke, yeah?

[EDIT: Yes, I am aware that the header gif I used is actually crocheting and not knitting. It was the one I found online that looked best! Heh.]

On being unconventional

I’ve said this before: Theadia is an unconventional hard-SF story. It’s not entirely about the spaceships or the combat or the high levels of tech intelligence. It’s more about the characters that are put into that world, whether they want to be there or not. I’ve also said this before as well: Theadia is about doing the right thing when no one else is bothering. But what it’s not is completely uber-serious or heavy on the military grimdark and the perils of deep space.

I love writing unconventional stories. They appeal to me and my mindset. I mean, come on: I’ve been listening to indie music since the mid 80s. My favorite stories are the ones that don’t go in the direction you expect. I’m a sucker for books and movies where you can tell the writers did their homework in weaving the plots in all sorts of unexpectedly creative ways. It only makes sense that my own writing leans the same way.

While I’ve been talking about how Theadia‘s sprawl is somewhat similar to the Mendaihu Universe, I’d say characterwise it’s more similar to the Meeks sisters in In My Blue World. There’s certainly a huge world out there (in this case a galaxy) but the story is mainly about these main characters I’m writing. I always love the idea of that dichotomy: a tight focus within a larger landscape. To me it gives the background life, and in the process our leads get to act or react accordingly to it.

I suppose this is partly why I’m still an indie author that’s self-publishing rather than going the pro route. I may have once had rose-tinted dreams about getting my novels released by a big name publisher, but the more I thought about it over the years, the more I realized that avenue felt more restrictive to my own creativity. I don’t know how to write commercial fiction, let alone genre fiction that would sell commercially, and I’m not sure if I’d be able to succeed if I managed to learn.

I just write what I enjoy the most, regardless as to whether it’s highly popular or not. And I’m quite happy with taking that unconventional route.

Artificial…?

(Image courtesy of Ghost in the Shell)

I’ve been reading a few social media or blog posts lately opining how AI has infested many creative fields like invasive critters, taking all the fun and the jobs from those who’ve been in the field for ages doing the actual lo-fi work the hard way.

You can always tell the pro-AI people: they have this weird salesperson optimistic shine to them, telling you how awesome it is to be able to create a novel — a whole freaking novel, even if you’ve never written one before! — just by typing in a few prompts! You can even put in a few more prompts and get a cover! You put in the ideas, the computer does all the hard work! It’s awesome! You’ll have more time for raising more bitcoin!

Oddly enough, they remind me of my worst ever job as a telemarketer at a call center, trying to sell toll-free 800 numbers back in the early 90s. Trying to push something that ninety percent of your targets don’t want, hoping that ten percent will think this is the Best Idea Ever, and you’ve made your sale. [And now you just need to get ten more in the next three hours so you can keep your job.]

It also reminds me of Virtual Reality. Remember that, from the early 90s? It was supposed to be the Next Big Thing then, back with all those crisp images that made the internet under the hood look like an amazing science fictional universe, and we’d all be Johnny Mnemonic with Thompson Eyephones, flying through digital space and opening up files and hacking through firewalls with disembodied computerized hands. Never mind that the real under the hood looked…less so. More 8-bit than CGI, really.

There’s something not entirely real about it all. Not exactly Uncanny Valley unreal, but more like you can definitely tell the difference between the messy and tactile yet endlessly fascinating real world, and the AI world that’s just a tiny bit too shiny and perfect but not quite working to spec in small yet obvious ways.

I’m reasonably sure that this too shall pass, just like VR did, just like those smart glasses and other fiddly bits of hardware that get a huge sales push and vanish a year or so later. They won’t go away, I think…they’ll still have their uses here and there. They just won’t be sold as The Latest Tech Toy You Must Own. The overwhelming reaction of AI art has been a resounding ‘meh’ from most non-tech people anyway, and most artists are pissed off about it for obvious reasons. And as a writer myself? I’m secretly laughing that most AI-created stories are easily spotted, absolutely terrible and lacking any kind of humanity within its pages. We’ll still have a few people trying to make a fast buck by generating a handful of these, but they’re few and far between and they’re not doing as well as they think they are.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve used a few low scale AI art generator websites now and again, just for the fun of it, just to see what it does and what level it’s at. If it wants to stay, I think it still has a long way to go. It might create an eye-catching picture…but with colors slightly too pastel, the smile a bit too Aphex Twin, minor but crucial details completely missing, or perhaps an extra limb or finger bending in strange ways. Plus, it currently takes up a huge fuckton of processing power that’s not healthy for the environment.

We’re still better off going old-school and doing the hard work, even if it does take a bit longer and sometimes costs money, to be honest. The end results are still much more pleasing and long-lasting.

Days away from social media

(Art source unknown, but borrowed from this Medium article)

It’s been a little less than two months since I closed down my Twitter feed, and I can’t say I’ve missed it all that much. Sure, I still pop in from time to time for a minute or so, just to ensure I don’t lose access and to check in on those I follow who aren’t online elsewhere, but other than that, I stay well away.

I’m still on Bluesky and Threads, but even then I don’t stay for too long. Again, maybe for a minute or so. I spend more time with my east coast friends on our shared Discord, to be honest. My Instagram these days are mostly pictures of our cats Jules and Cali. Weirdly enough, the most time I’ll spend on social media is to watch some lawn care reels on Facebook, because they’re a lot of fun and surprisingly calming to watch.

That was the whole point of this detox, really…it wasn’t to take a vacation away from social media but to recalibrate my brain so I’m no longer beholden to it. I still feel like I could better use my time during breaks at work, but I’m not really beating myself up over it. I feel less stressed out, for starters. I feel less inclined to give into a daily rage about whatever nonsense is going on in the world. I’ve found a healthier social balance and I’ve decided I’m going to stay there for a while.

Does this give me more time for writing? Sure! I’ve been doing a lot of world building work for Theadia during breaks and slow times at work. I can get through a good chunk of revision work on Queen Ophelia’s War on a daily basis. I can zip through my daily 750Words. All this, and still have a bit of time left over to relax with non-creative fun things! Time management for the win!

End of year review – future inspiration

[Image courtesy of Saekano]

If there’s one thing that always worries me about writer’s block, it’s that I’m terrified that I’ll lose interest and nothing will inspire me to write. Outside inspiration has often been a big driver for me: coming up with In My Blue World while listening to ELO, Meet the Lidwells! from reading a ton of music biographies, and so on. But sometimes I’ll go through a spell of nothing quite resonating with me, and I always find that worrying. It’s like I want to write, but I don’t know what to write about.

I mean, it’s not as if something has to completely inspire me, far from it. But the issue, I think, is that it would often tie in with my state of mind at that moment. I’ve had low points in my life where I just stopped writing for months at a time. I’ve had busy points in my life where I just didn’t have the time. I’ve had rebounds where I was ready to write again yet had to relearn how to do it to my own satisfaction.

In writing Diwa & Kaffi, however, I realized that waiting for inspiration to strike might be good if you’re surrounded by that well, but sometimes you just have to push through and find it for yourself. Allow yourself to latch onto something unexpected. Stretch out and get out of your comfort zone a bit and see what resonates. I never thought I’d write a space opera but here we are with a nearly-complete story entitled Theadia. I never thought I’d write a romcom but that seems to be on the docket for 2024.

And that’s what I’m planning to do in the new year: go some place I haven’t been before, just to see what happens.

Creative…privilege?

So some AI-leaning techbro this week posted something on social media about artists, writers, musicians, etc., having the unfair advantage of “creative privilege” because they allegedly came to their craft with some gods-given blessing, and it’s unfair that the rest of the non-creative world has to actually, y’know, work at it, and it’s all unfair that we creatives have that advantage.

Or something like that. Either way, he’s currently getting roasted in response.

I’ll be honest, my first reaction to this complaint was that it kind of reminded me of high school. It reminded me of being a non-sports kid in a school where most extracurricular funding went to the boys’ football team, no teacher wanted be an advisor for school plays so there weren’t any, and the funding and printing for the school newspaper got pulled the year before. So me, my friends Kevin and Kris, and a few others, decided to use our creative privilege to edit and put it out ourselves, using Pagemaker on the school’s Mac and the gracious help of the printing class teacher who ran a few hundred copies off on printer paper and collated them for free. We used our creative privilege by figuring out a workaround and doing most of the work ourselves. Sort of self-publishing it, in a way. And it was a success! We kept it going the entire year on a consistent basis, got several other students to write articles, and kept it alive when no one else bothered.

If there’s such a thing as creative privilege, it’s the ability to move past roadblocks and obstacles. There’s no One Right Way or One Weird Trick They Don’t Want You To Know to do it either, because it’s different for everyone. It’s what works for you, and it’s most definitely not just about finding shortcuts, either. Running a complicated algorithm that essentially mashes up other people’s creative works and then slapping your own name on it is a shortcut, and a dishonest one at that. Figuring out your own style and voice takes hard mental and emotional work, and you need to put in that work, because those who see the end result can definitely tell the difference.

A good example: remember those music mashups of the early 00s? Some of them were amusing and entertaining, and I have a collection of them in my music library. But there’s a big difference between what’s known as the “A + B” mashup (one song over the other with minimal separation or creativity) and the actual DJ mixing (seamlessly sliding one song’s separated vocal lines onto the instrumental of another song). This so-called “AI art” and “AI writing” is, for the most part, the former. And it’s not artificial intelligence, despite the label it’s been given. The computer is merely running software and mashing up different parts the user chose, that’s all; any ‘mixing’ is also the computer doing a bit of barebones touch-up. And yes, you can definitely tell the difference.

So my answer? Sure! I’ve got creative privilege, and I’m proud of it because I worked hard for years at it! I may not be raking in the money and the prestige, but I’m still getting the occasional ebook sale and that’s pretty damn cool in itself. That’s all I’ve really wanted.

And I’m sure you can make it happen as well. You just need to do more than run an algorithm, have the computer do the mashup work, and say ‘there, it’s done’.