A little end of year cleaning house

I’m usually good at keeping things tidy around the house — inquisitive and/or destructive cats aside — but every now and again things pile up. There’s shredding to be done, we’ve suddenly accumulated a large pile of books to be donated, or shipping boxes that have only since been used by cats for shredding purposes, or what have you. Eventually I’ll decide that a cleaning session is in order.

I even need to go through my emails lately. I’m usually good at those, because Sundays are when I go through them while I’m running all the PC cleaning programs, but sometimes I lag behind. This usually happens when my Day Job schedule encroaches on the time I usually do the home cleaning. Point is, I’ve gotten myself on several mailing lists somehow and it’s clear that I’m only reading maybe about a quarter of them, if that. I’ll need to go through those soon enough.

Writingwise? Well, for the most part I keep my files well organized on my Dropbox account so I know where everything is. But over the course of the year, things can pile up. Pictures I’ve transferred from my camera and my phone, image scans, work-related paperwork, things like that…some of those don’t have a specific home and end up in a File These Away At Some Point folder. Do I need to keep them? Probably not. Some I can save, but most of them I can probably delete.

I don’t think I have any stagnant projects that need refiling, as far as I know. A few backburner items (which are rightly sorted in the Backburner Projects folder) but other than that, I haven’t made any major decisions to trunk anything lately. Which is a good thing, I suppose.

Either way, I like doing this at the end of the year as part of my process to start the next year fresh and clean!

Distraction, or just too busy?

I seem to be running out of time to write lately, and it’s bothersome.

To be honest, it’s not as if I’m overly distracted or simply just procrastinating these days. I’ll still deal with the Don’t Wannas every now and again, but for the most part I’ve been doing good. Just…not giving myself enough time.

Part of it lately is that I’ve been working a few odd hours at the Day Job that get me out around 4pm instead of 2pm, which leaves me with a few hours to hang with A and the cats until after dinner, by which time I end up scrunching multiple things into about an hour and a half of time. And to be honest, that ain’t working.

One thing I should probably do is prep multiple blog entries on the same day like I used to — that can easily be done if I give myself time to think about what I want to write about. And though I truly enjoy using the 750Words site, I think I’m at a point where I don’t need to work there right now. At this point writing there is more about getting those words done than using it for various projects. I’m not abandoning it, of course…I’m merely putting it aside.

The other thing I need to do is lay some ground rules, specifically one: what project(s) needs the most focus right now? In this case, I have two I want to focus on: finishing Theadia and starting the remaster of A Division of Souls. I already have schedule plans for each, so that shouldn’t be a problem. And when I’m done with Theadia then I can finally shift the bulk of my focus on writing MU4.

So yeah, I don’t think it’s distraction, at least not right now. Just needing to rethink my schedule a bit.

Darkness and Light

So on Sunday morning as I was lying in bed, having just woken but too lazy to get up and feed the cats just yet, I started thinking about a new way to approach writing MU4. I’ve written at least three or four different openings, and yet none of them felt quite right. The current one is close to what I need…but the scene itself happens way too early in the story. I needed something to build up to that.

The good thing about lying there and letting my thoughts quietly meander for a bit is that I wasn’t trying so hard to figure it out this time. And that’s when it occurred to me: I needed to return to the original theme of the trilogy in order to move forward. That theme, of course, was balance. One character playing the role of spiritual balance to another. One action balancing out another. One dwelling in darkness, the other in light. This story focuses more on internal balances than spiritual or religious ones, even though those two still play an important part in the Mendaihu Universe.

The focus here, then, is on my two main characters: one whose life is chaos and wishes for order, and one whose life is rigid order and wishes for freedom. Both have a common goal of mental, emotional and spiritual balance, even though they’re coming from complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Which of course inspires the same question I had for Denni and Saisshalé in the trilogy: what is the red string that bonds them together? Are they enemies or are they allies? Are they bound to negate each other’s strengths, or are they to work together to become even stronger?

The good thing about this, even as I lay there with one cat staring impatiently at me and my brain in dire need of caffeine, is that this has gotten me even closer to the story I want to tell here. And that’s what I’ve been waiting for. All I need to do is start it.

So.

This is so going to change my writing style again, isn’t it?

I’m…well, I’m a little less angry and frustrated and terrified than I was Thursday morning, but no less than I was when The Fuckwit was last in office. [Noted, he’s still not my President. I’m totally fine if you unfollow me if that bothers you. This blog isn’t going to turn into a wonkfest, as that’s not the kind of writer or person I am.]

I have plans. Long and short term, some mere ideas and some dedicated goals. I refuse to let him or any of his minions (or owners, if you really want to be cynical about it) keep me from using my words or to make me hide. I didn’t play their game last time and I don’t plan on playing it this time either.

Perhaps a *little* nervous…

I’m sure we’re all on tenterhooks as we await the outcome of tomorrow’s election. I know I certainly am, for various and extremely obvious reasons. It continues to blow my goddamn mind that some people are still contemplating voting for The Fuckwit.

(Hey, it’s my blog, I get to wax politic every now and again. I don’t all that often, so stick with me here.)

As for me, I will most likely be heavily distracting myself instead of watching coverage for most of Tuesday because I know I won’t be able to emotionally handle it otherwise. I did this back in 2012 when I was worried Mitt would win by binge-reading the webcomic Endtown. (I highly recommend it, Aaron Neathery’s storytelling is equal parts strange, heartbreaking and humorous.) I believe in 2016 I binge-watched the Gall Force anime series which I hadn’t done in ages, and 2020 I think I just focused on writing and my music collection. Perhaps this time out we’ll watch silly holiday romcoms or something.

I mean, realistically I feel cautiously optimistic. Harris has consistently proven herself not only able to go above and beyond, but also to consistently think multiple steps ahead and and think outside the box when necessary. TFG and his team, on the other hand, has consistently proven himself utterly unable to do even the most basic homework without fucking up spectacularly, and hiding said fuck-ups with distraction. And several members of his own party have even gone public to say oh christ please I’ll even vote for this cheese danish instead of him. Completely ignoring the “polls” that have been popping up as of late, it sounds like Harris has an extremely good chance of winning.

Still, I’ve come to accept the fact that I do not have the stomach or the brain to be a political wonk. I’m just too mentally reactive with such things. So I’m just going to hope for the best. I’m certainly hoping we’ve dispensed with most if not all of the faithless electors who screwed up 2016. And I’m also hoping that TFG’s minions won’t pull another January 6, because we really don’t need a repeat of that now, do we?

Well. Either way, I’ll still be here. I’m definitely not going anywhere.

We are hope despite the times

One, I had no idea REM had dropped this digital mix last month, but it’s a great eighteen-track compilation of what they did best in their earlier years: a strong and vocal political awareness, and a keen eye for community both local and national.

Two, and more importantly, I ask you to do the right thing. Even if you need to swallow that bitter pill because they’re not perfect. Even if they do one or two things you disagree with. Even if they can’t fix everything right away. One candidate has the intelligence and the strength to keep this country working and improving. The other is a bigot with a rap sheet, wants to outlaw several of my friends and coworkers, and wants to keep hate alive.

Do the right fucking thing and vote. You know who for.

I…think I figured it out?

I think I finally figured out how to end Theadia! I always knew it would end in a spectacular yet unexpected way, but as I’d said before, it was the getting there that was stumping me. But earlier this morning — as I was showering of course, just like it always happens with us writers — the answer finally came to me, and I’ve been thinking all day about how to make it work. (Which is why this post is late!)

I realized that I’d been coming at it from the wrong angle: all these scenes were building up to a crescendo, so you’d think the answer is a Big Hollywood Finish, right? Nah. That’s not how I roll. I wrap up my novels by taking all the separate plot threads and weaving them into a much bigger pattern. And in this case, I had to figure out what that pattern was. And that’s what I finally figured out this morning.

It wasn’t the pattern I was expecting…but it’s the one that’s right, and that’s the one I’m going to go with.

In the end it’s just love

I might not be doing nearly as much writing and revising as I should these last couple of weeks, but fear not, I am not avoiding it. Merely just waylaid by Day Jobbery and trying to sort through the plots of two major projects in my head at the same time. And I’m trying not to make it all complicated.

The ending of Theadia might feature several characters doing several different things all at the same time to achieve one singular goal, but the important thing for me to remember is to take it one step at a time. There’s a lot to juggle but if I already know where all the pieces fit into the larger pattern, all I need to do is carefully and patiently put them all together. I learned that with the Bridgetown Trilogy.

And speaking of which, I’m also prepping myself to start (restart?) MU4 which, like the trilogy, has a lot of moving parts and patterns. I’ve worked and reworked them in my head for probably far too long, so I think it’s time to just start writing it. Put pen to paper and move. And to remind myself that despite the darker moments of this particular new project, there must also be moments of incredible light. That’s always been the theme of the Mendaihu Universe: the yin-yang balances of the world around us.

Every now and again I still need to remind myself of that. Not just in my writing projects, but in life as well. The Day Job might be stressful lately, but it also remains a place I’m proud of working at (and that in itself is something I very rarely admit to).

Binding off…?

I’m willing to admit I kinda sorta know how Theadia is going to end? Maybe? It’s very much like how I finally finished The Balance of Light a few years after stalling: I have a handful of chapters to go with an extremely vague idea of how it will all wrap up, but it’s the getting there that’s eluding me at the moment. And thankfully unlike that novel, it won’t take me another four years to finish.

If anything, my use of knitting references all over the novel kind of comes into play in a stereotypical way: everything that’s gone on is a part of something bigger. I’ve woven all these other patterns (read: character arcs) together and now I need to ensure that they all fit together in a coherent fashion. That’s one of the big themes of this novel: we’re all in it together. As long as I keep that in mind, I should be alright.

Anyway, I’m being hard on myself right now because I’m worried that I’m going to get to the end and have loose and miscounted stitches everywhere and it’ll be a big knotted mess that I’ll have to rip apart and start over. That may or may not happen, but we’ll see.

I guess I just need to have a bit more confidence in myself and in this novel. It’ll get there eventually.