Writing again…sort of

I think it’s time to start writing again. The itch to do so has been constant lately.

Even though I’m working on Theadia (and doing a soft-start for the remaster of The Persistence of Memories), I’ve been itching to just write something new. I’m not sure what just yet, and I’m not going to force it. That, and I’ve sort of resurrected some of my writing habits again — noting word count in the small black moleskine calendar notebook, for instance. I’m not doing it every day of course, I’m merely entering it every now and again when the thought and the temptation strikes.

I know I talk about this here every now and again, and I admit sometimes I’m like a broken record (a skipping cd? a corrupted FLAC?) but it’s been an ongoing process that needs constant adjustment and tweaking. We writers sometimes get all meta about our process and it’s usually because we’re trying to figure out why our processes are the way they are, why they sometimes no longer work, and what we need to do to change them. That kind of thing never ends, I’m afraid, but it’s something I’m used to at this point.

As always, it’s just a matter of doing it. Once I start, the rest comes easier.

That time of year again

It’s been a bit over three months since we moved into our New Digs, and things are finally settling and falling back into place. I might still have to remind myself that those month-end payments aren’t for rent anymore but mortgage, but other than that I’m happy that we’re here. We might be slightly further away from the shopping corridors but we’re two blocks from our community garden plot, a block away from a major bus route as well as a very large public park, and the neighborhood is thankfully much more peaceful. (Yes, even during recess for the kidlets at the school across the way.)

This is good timing, as it’s that time of year where I feel the need to change things up. And you know how I am in autumn: excited about the new music releases and contemplative about where I am and where I want to be. I’ve already made a lot of positive changes over the last few months — with room for improvement, of course — so it’s really just a matter of doing it at this point. Or not doing, depending on the situation. Some habits I find I just do not need nor want anymore. Some habits I’d like to revisit once more.

And what about writing? Well, the remaster of A Division of Souls is out and away, and I’m thinking of starting in on the remaster of The Persistence of Memories pretty soon. I’m also focusing on Theadia and it’s still looking good and on schedule for release sometime next year. But I can’t help but think: I’ve got a journal and a notebook gathering dust in my satchel right now, and my 750Words sign-in remains woefully ignored. I mean, I’ve worked on multiple stories at that same time before, so this is nothing new. I can certainly play around with writing extremely rough drafts of new ideas while spending most of my creative energies on the two main projects. And in the process, probably disconnect from a few IRL things that I don’t need to hyperfocus on.

And what better time to do it than during the season that works best for me?

Fly-by: Nothing much, just busy

I’m working on Theadia and I’m a few chapters in already, so that’s a good sign. I still need to fix things here and there, and I do need to insert a new chapter or two here and there to expand the cast more, but for the most part the current draft is looking good. Most of my creative focus has been there these days, so my blogging may be scattershot for a little while until I feel I’m better able to hold onto a schedule.

Thanks for your patience!

Somewhere in between

I’m kind of in an interstitial space right now creatively, I think. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve stopped performing a lot of the habits I’d had over the last several years in Spare Oom — the whiteboard schedule, the logging of the word count, writing at 750Words, and so on. The main reason I stopped is that I wanted a fresh start here at the New Digs. For the most part it’s been a positive choice as I haven’t felt the stress of not hitting scheduled goals. It’s helped me focus on current projects with more clarity.

Not that I’m complaining, however. I like being here at this time, because it means that I’m breaking away from old habits and yet to forge new ones. I’m allowing myself to try new things and approach current projects in a slightly different way. Perhaps this is why I’m also allowing myself to indulge in a wave of comic reading on Hoopla these last several weeks…I get to try something new, see what inspires me.

I’ll be honest, I do occasionally feel the temptation to fire up the 750Words or do a bit of journaling, but I’ve been responding to that with well, you don’t HAVE to if you don’t really want to. Which, to me, means that if the only reason I want to do any of that is out of a sense of missing it, then I probably shouldn’t waste my time. If I’m going to return to the daily words or the journaling or anything else, I want to have a good creative reason. For the moment, I don’t want to split up my concentration on anything that’s mere folly right now, not when I want to put as much focus as I can on the Theadia project.

I suppose if this stage is anything like the one I had during the Belfry Years, this will (hopefully) mean that a lot of positive creativity will soon come out of it.

A little night reading

I know, I know…I really should be catching up with my To Be Read pile at night. It’s not even that big at the moment. Instead, I’ve been turning on my e-reader and reading a bunch of comics and manga on the Hoopla app. Yay for the SF Public Library for carrying a considerably large collection! And on top of all that, I’m working through all twenty-six volumes of Charles Schulz’s The Complete Peanuts (I’m currently on volume 11, the 1971-72 comics).

I figure what I’m doing here is not actually avoiding the TBR pile, but just allowing myself to purely enjoy reading, which I sometimes forget to do. I think part of this is due to having gone through a phase some years back where I just felt burnt out by reading only genre, or only music bio, or whatever, added to the fact that I was trying to reach a goal I’d set on GoodReads.

During all this pleasure reading, it occurred to me that this was what I did back in the Belfry days. I’d been hooked on comic books at the time and simply had to follow the monthly adventures of whatever titles I’d bought (including slogging through the last third of Dave Sim’s Cerebus, and you really need the fortitude and patience to slog through everything past the Flight trade, and especially after Rick’s Story). A lot of it I enjoyed, and a lot of it helped shape the kind of storytelling I enjoy writing. But I was also pushing myself to read comics and books that I wasn’t entirely enjoying. I bought a lot that I simply never got around to reading.

So I’m not too worried about those few titles gathering dust next to the bed, because I’ll get to them eventually. In the meantime I’m checking out things that capture my interest and are an easy and relaxing read. I’m trying out different genres and styles and soaking in the storytelling and the worldbuilding. Sometimes the comic’s a silly slice of life, sometimes it’s a quirky oddball fantasy, sometimes it’s a romance.

And in the end, I’m hoping some of this light night reading will inspire some new ideas!

The Matrix and the Mendaihu Universes

The Matrix Resurrections, the fourth in the series, came out at the height of the pandemic, released both in theaters and streaming on HBO Max at the same time. It was kind of a weird time for all involved, of course, and while the film didn’t come close to being a financial success (mostly due to said dual release), it did feel like the start of a new chapter. And to be honest, it did kind of make me rethink how I was going to approach the fourth book in the Mendaihu Universe if I was going to write it.

We watched all four in order at that time, as A hadn’t seen movies two or three and I hadn’t seen any of them in ages, and one thing that stuck with me is that they were bigger and stronger influences on my trilogy than I’d remembered. It all lines up: the first movie opened in March of 1999, right about the time I’d been thinking about reworking The Phoenix Effect into what would become A Division of Souls. The second and third movies, The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions, would come out in May and November 2003, right about the time I was working on The Persistence of Memories. I especially appreciated that the side-story anthology The Animatrix came out between those two in June 2003, expanding the universe even more, creating more lore that didn’t exactly tie in with Neo’s story.

I think one of the biggest influences on the Bridgetown Trilogy is in fact the expansion of Neo’s story from the original film to its conclusion. I liked that the second and third movies took what had happened in the first — Neo’s awakening into a rebel fighter against the Matrix and its Agents — and expanded on that. Primarily, asking the question: now that you have the power, what are you going to do with it? That soon became Denni’s personal mantra throughout the Bridgetown Trilogy as well; she was well aware of what she could do, so her own conflict was deciding what she should do.

There are other moments, of course. Not gonna lie, the leather duster and the form-fitting uniform of the Mendaihu Elder is definitely a sly wink at Neo and Trinity’s get-up throughout their own series. Little things like levitation and the ability to wield Light came from direct influence as well. I made them my own by thinking about what this kind of action or ability would look like in my own created universe, and expanding from there.

Back to Resurrections, I would say that movie helped me think more about how to frame the fourth book in the Mendaihu Universe. Again, there’s direct inspiration: Resurrections explores life within the Matrix years later, when Neo has become a distorted myth and its believers have forgotten the true history. While the movie focuses on Neo’s rebirth and Trinity’s reawakening, I plan on having MU4 focus on the myth: what happens when belief in the One of All Sacred evolves and becomes a weapon itself. I had the beginnings of that particular idea after I’d released The Balance of Light, but watching Resurrections helped sharpen that idea into something I could expand upon.

Right now, I’m focusing mostly on Theadia, so this one might not arrive until maybe 2027, but we shall see. I’ve got time and I’ve still got the influences and inspirations to work with.

Almost there…

I am SO CLOSE to finishing this go-round of the Trilogy Remaster for A Division of Souls! I’m about twenty pages from the last one (this includes the original endnotes and whatnot), so that means I can give it yet one more read-through before prepping it for the planned September release. I’m almost never this ahead of schedule!

Speaking of, I’ve also been thinking of having a bit of fun with the tenth anniversary remaster here at the blog and possibly elsewhere. Sort of like when I celebrated the project’s twentieth anniversary back in March 2017 (for those curious, I started The Phoenix Effect in March 1997 which would become the trilogy a few years later). Posting things like outtakes, maps, drawings, stuff like that. Stay tuned!

But for now, the next step in my plan is to get it all ready to go early, that way I can get back to working on Theadia. That project needs a lot of attention I haven’t been able to give to it lately, so it’ll feel great to have that on the front burner once again. I admit I have a lot of vague plans for it and a few set-in-stone ones that I’d like to focus on. Most of you have read some of the outtakes here, but for the most part it’s a story I haven’t shared with anyone yet. I hope you enjoy it!

Fly-by: keeping busy and trilogy thoughts

Hey all! Sorry for the lack of updates this week. I’ve been primarily focusing on the last quarter of the Trilogy Remaster work for A Division of Souls and it’s taking up all my writing time at the moment. However, I’m on the final stretch, a good couple of months ahead of time! Woo! I’m still on track for the September rerelease!

Speaking of which, I assume you’re wondering if I’m going to follow through and remaster the other two books in the trilogy, and I would say I’m 99% certain that I will indeed be working on them sometime in the future! Unlike this one, however, I’m probably not going to stick to the same exact release dates as the originals. Why? Basically because I really do need to get cracking on Theadia, which has sadly fallen by the wayside over the last couple of months!

So yeah, hopefully I’ll have my head on straight come next week and we’ll be back to normal programming! See you soon!

Keeping track of the days…or not

I’ve realized that I haven’t been logging my words and creative output in my calendar notebook lately. Not that I got rid of it or don’t have the time for it, simply that I just haven’t thought about it. I’m not all that bothered by it, as I’ve been doing it primarily as a way to see how much I’ve done, and I’m well aware of my own creative output at this point.

But let’s be honest here: over the last couple of years, the entries have been pretty much the same: blog entries written and posted, daily 750Words written, and word count logged when I’ve actually been working on a completely new project. It can be interesting, but it can also be quite distracting and disconcerting, especially whenever I get that time-honored writerly anxiety of feeling like a failure for not getting any work done despite completing multiple things almost every single day.

I started logging those numbers around 2002 when I was writing the trilogy, because I was curious: when I was writing The Phoenix Effect longhand I’d get about five pages done, which would then be transcribed to about two and a half single-space pages typed — basically around five hundred words. By the time I was writing A Division of Souls directly into the PC, I wanted to see how much I could do, and if it was possible for me to write even more words each session. (And to be aware of how often I’d get distracted by various things). Soon I was writing about a thousand words on a nightly basis. I’d finally figured out what was a comfortable word count goal for me.

These days, however, it feels more like a distraction or an assignment than anything fun or helpful. Not that I hate doing it, I just feel as though I don’t need to do it now, at least not until I’m back to working on a completely new project. It’s all a part of my changing creative habits as we continue to settle into the New Digs. In its own way, the continual focus on word count goals and logging project updates had become a distraction itself; my creativity had started feeling more like a chore or an assignment than a joy. I kind of knew somehow that this constant logging was only adding to that stress, but I wasn’t quite sure if I was ready to get rid of it just yet.

Again, moving to our new home was a perfect way to cut those ties once and for all. I feel less chained to the keyboard, less stressed out, less inclined to feel guilty if I don’t get a lot of work done. And that, in itself, is one of the creative goals I’ve been trying to reach for some time now.

Slowing down and enjoying life

Okay, so I refuse to say that I’m slowing down because I’m getting old. I mean, I am, and my joints aren’t as flexible and springy as they used to be, but I refuse to use that as an excuse to be lazy.

On the other hand, I’ve been making a concerted effort, especially at the day job, where I’m trying to break a long-standing and terrible habit of trying to do everything at once as fast as I can. It’s fine every now and again, but trying to speed through a very long line of customers will only serve two things: a) I’ll exhaust myself faster, and b) I’m doing at least twice the work all my other coworkers are doing. Do I really need to go through my shift constantly stuck going 70 mph while everyone else is doing a much more sedate 45? Do I have to do it all myself when I can easily ask a coworker to help? I guess what I’m looking for is a bit of a Zen balance here. Do what needs doing when it needs doing, but realize what I don’t have to do everything else as well.

The same thing goes with my writing. I think I’ve finally grown out of the mindset that I must Write All The Things Before It’s Too Late. For the moment I’m adding a little bit at a time to my writing schedule and searching for a comfortable working level. After several weeks off due to moving, I’m back with the blogging, and I’ve been thinking about returning to the 750Words site again. I’ve even switched the notebook in my jacket pocket with a sketch pad, with the idea of just drawing purely for the fun of it when I have a moment. And interestingly enough, I haven’t done any longhand journaling for a couple of months, and I think that’s partly because I just don’t feel like I need to.

That’s one of the key things right there: do it only if you feel the need. Just like the day job, I don’t need to do any daily journaling, or get any specific word count. I just want to focus on the Trilogy Remaster, finish off Theadia, and possibly restart MU4 for the nth time. But I don’t feel an unhealthy need to do it right this second. It’s healthier this way, mentally and physically. Believe me, I know from burnout, and I’m aiming to avoid it from here on in.

And besides, we now live just a block away from one of the most famous city parks in the world, so there is zero reason why I shouldn’t be going outside and enjoying said park every now and again.