Year End: Moving On

Sure, I could use the classic phrase I’m too old for this sh*t in regards to some of the more frustrating things that have happened over the past year. But really, I’m not nearly as cynical as that. Despite being firmly Gen-X, I never completely slid into full-on cynicism because I always felt it was an easy way out: writing something off by saying it was never good in the first place. It just didn’t ring true to me.

It’s true, I’ve had a few frustrating things happen here and there this year, and yes, I may have overreacted to some degree. But I’m not writing any of that off, far from it. I’m just choosing to acknowledge it and move on. Not every single event in my life needs to be a conflict that needs to be faced or resolved. Sometimes it just is what it is, and I have to adjust accordingly. I might have to make some changes, but they will be changes made my way and not out of frustration or necessity.

If anything comes with age for me, I think it’s that I’ve refined how I utilize my sense of patience. Back in my 20s I used to semi-joke I was cursed with a tremendous amount of it, primarily because it was the only reaction I could have most of the time, whether due to finances, emotional reaction, or just the situation I found myself in. Some years later I learned how to voice those frustrations, and at times I could be too vocal about it. It took me a while to find a level that wasn’t pathetic or reactionary.

It was all about balance, really. And that’s how I’ve been living since then.

Right now I know there are some things I can fix, and other things I can’t. But I know I am not chained to the places or situations I find myself in these days. It’s a matter of being able to think outside the box instead, and figuring out how to sidestep that particular obstacle and still move forward. It’s true, much of this I’ve inserted into the various characters in Theadia; many of them are just tired of doing it the old way and failing every time, and are looking for alternate ways to resolve their various conflicts. Thus their repeated mantra: if you could…would you do the right thing?

I think in 2026, this is how I’m going to try to think about my writing. While I still have a few things on the backburner waiting to be started, I’m feeling as though I’ve kept a lot of them there not out of a severe case of the Don’t Wannas, but more out of a rational sense that they may not be worth working on at this time. They might be good stories, just that I’m just not feeling the excitement about them. I’m pretty sure I’ll be finally trunking them for good pretty soon.

It’s time to move on.

Year End: Moving Office

I suppose I could start this entry with an exasperated how the hells is it December already??, but really, I’m not that surprised at all. It’s been a busy year all around.

One of the biggest changes of 2025 was our moving to our new home, and one we own rather than rent at that. To be honest, I’m still trying to wrap my head around that. There’s a sense of permanence going on that I am very much not used to. Aside from my family’s house, every other place I’ve lived in has always been a rented apartment, so it’s taking time for me to accept that we’re allowed to make changes (or not!) if we so choose. I am also greatly amused at how many quarters I can amass over time now that we own our own washer/dryer unit, and how much room our shared office has now that most of my old writings and whatnot are down in our garage storage.

Speaking of a shared office, I’m glad I chose to take the ‘clean slate’ option when we moved everything in, because Spare Oom was getting a mite bit crowded with our mutual book collection and all my writing-related stuff. I was also feeling a bit boxed in by the strict schedule I’d placed upon myself. While the whiteboard calendar had long been a source of inspiration to keep me going, it had also turned into a bit of a chain around my ankle. It all had started feeling like an assignment rather than a a craft that I enjoyed.

So when I got everything plugged in and turned on at the New Digs, I gave myself a fresh start. I didn’t do any blogging, journaling or daily words for a couple of months, instead focusing on the most important projects, Theadia and the Trilogy Remaster. I took my time deciding what decorations to put up, as I didn’t want another collage of stickers and silly things poking holes in the pristine white walls. I didn’t even update my notebook calendar with any notes like I normally would. I merely wanted to reset my priorities and find a bit of clarity.

And now here we are months later. The remastered A Division of Souls is out in the wild, Theadia is back up and running, and I’m even back to blogging and daily words. I only journal occasionally these days, as I don’t feel the need to make it a daily thing at the moment. I feel less disconnected from the world as well, considering the office’s windows overlook the street we live on, and I’m not as far away from A as I used to be. And of course we have both cat trees in here, so Juli and Cali are frequent visitors and distractors!

More to come…

Still here, just feeling loopy

I’ve been doing 5:30am opens all week while the head bookkeeper is out, and I’m so not used to it. Thankfully I’ve been very particular about balancing my energy levels and sleep patterns, so I’m not so much exhausted as just using my brain just a bit too much. Who knew that Q4 retail could use up so many mental spoons? Heh.

Still, I’m managing to slowly slog through the parts of Theadia that I’m working on. It’s taking forever, but I’m bound and determined to get this dang thing out one way or another!

I’ll be honest…

I think one of the biggest things I’m nervous about with Theadia is not the dog fights, nor is it the physics of flight (both air and space) or even the science of how wormholes work. I’m playing as fast and loose with them as most other writers do. As long as there’s a consistent logic to it, and as long as I keep it within reason, then we’re golden.

It’s the fact that I could never get my head around the correct use of military rank.

Yes, silly, I know, especially since I have all the internet and multiple genre novels at my fingertips if I want to use them as guidelines. And considering some of my older relatives (including my dad) were in the armed forces for a time, you’d think I’d have had some kind of understanding about it. I just never quite got around to it.

I suppose before I release this out into the world I should have at least one talk with someone knowledgeable about it to some degree, at least to say “okay, here are the characters, are these the correct ranks I have for them, or should they be something different?” Put it this way: I have these characters doing exactly what I want them to; it’s not their jobs I’d need to fix, then, but whatever rank or title they have. I’m basing this story’s Space Force on a rather helpful and legitimate list I found online, so I can at least make an educated guess.

As long as I get it right before publication!

Filling in the gaps

I am now at the point in Theadia where I have to visit all the WRITE THIS LATER gaps and…well, write them. Thankfully, I planned ahead of time during this last reread/revision, where I wrote out a paragraph or two of each plot point I need to hit for these scenes and chapters. Also thankfully, most of them are scenes featuring a not-quite-secondary, not-quite-primary character, which means I can focus mostly on the action. As you can guess, I wasn’t entirely sure at first how to approach him as he’s not the kind of character I usually write, and that’s mainly why I skipped them. One, so I won’t lose focus on the rest of the novel, and two, by the time I come back to these scenes, I’ll have a better idea of who he is and why he does what he does.

So why am I putting them there in the first place? Well, if I truly felt that I could get away with not putting them in, I probably would have shoehorned a variant version of the scene (or the information it’s relaying) elsewhere and via a more important character, but I don’t feel that’s the case here. This is a character that isn’t part of the tight-knit main character circle, but they do have a very important link with at least three of them that I think strengthens the story’s logic and flow. He’s an insider that helps the mains achieve their goals without actually abandoning his link to his status within the ranks. He’s gruff and cranky but he’s also extremely intelligent and supportive.

I’ll be honest, using the WRITE THIS LATER gap style of writing novels is still a rather recent change in my writing process. I always write in chronological order from start to finish, and I’m always worried that if I skip scenes too often, the multiple interwoven plot threads running through my head will unravel. This changed when I wrote Diwa & Kaffi, however, when during one of the rereads I realized I’d forgotten to add a key scene that would make the logic and flow work even better.

I still use the style quite infrequently, but these days I’m not as nervous about it. As long as I use it for the right reasons and not out of any sense of laziness or ‘just don’t wanna’ avoidance!

In that middle ground again

It’s been a rough couple of weeks here at the New Digs. There’s been a bit of drama at the Day Job that I’ve been juggling, not to mention the rise in customer volume considering it’s Q4 and the start of the holiday retail season. I’ve also been doing a hell of a lot of thinking about how I’m going to finish Theadia, and what project(s) I’ll start after that one’s completed. Then there’s the cold/allergies that laid me out for a few days a while back.

Right now I’m feeling very much like I’m somewhere in between where I was and where I need to be, and that can be tense when I can only do so much to keep it moving in the right direction. Sometimes I’m fine with that — the journey’s part of the learning process, as they say — but other times the journey feels like one frustration after another that has to be handled in a certain way in order for the remainder of the trip to be smoother. [Come to find out, this is an ongoing theme in Theadia.] All I can do is just keep going despite the impatience, the anxiety, and the annoyance.

Still, there is a bright side. I’ve gone through this many times before, and if I play this bit of 5D chess the right way like I’ve done before, the end results will definitely be worth it.

And now for the next step…

I am just a few short(ish) chapters away from completing this current revision of Theadia, which means two things. One, my next step in completing this novel is to go back again and fill in all the ‘WRITE THIS LATER’ scenes I blocked out. This one’s going to be a bit tricky, as a lot of them will feature a character that’s just as important but only works indirectly with the two main characters. They know of each other, but they’re never seen in the same room, let alone on any kind of communication device. He’s not the kind of character I normally write, either, but he’s just as important to the overall story, so I’m going to have to work out just what I want and need him to do.

The second thing? Well…I’m going to have to finally figure out how I’m going to end the dang thing. I’ll admit this is similar to how I had to deal with finishing The Balance of Light…that is, I kinda-sorta have an idea of how it ends, but no set plan on how to get there. In order to make it work, I’m going to have to take the time and plan it out so I can nail the landing. Which means I’m probably going to have to give it a few more re-re-re-rereads like I so often do. Hey, whatever works, yeah?

This novel’s history is rather similar to the history of the Bridgetown Trilogy in certain ways. I’ve returned to the ‘extended ensemble cast’ for starters, and it’s also a story that’s been given a from-the-ground-up worldbuilding process (minus a conlang this time out, though a few characters do affect a certain patois, somewhat inspired by a similar setup on the tv series The Expanse). It’s also a story that’s had a bit of a hiatus for varying reasons due to Real Life Stuff. I think this is partly why I have a soft spot for this project — it’s something I’ve worked on for an extended time and with patient care. It’s not a novel I can phone in.

It’ll be worth the wait, though.

Theadia: Side stories…?

I’ve been thinking over the last few days that while Theadia focuses on a set number of main characters, the world building has grown enough that I can definitely see some minor side stories cropping up over time. And given that Theadia is about protest and rebellion of different sorts and flavors, writing short fiction about those affected by the events within the novel sounds like a lot of fun.

One, of course, came to mind: a young teenager hearing the sounds of rebellion for the first time. What if their reaction to hearing that sort of thing was a parallel to, say, me discovering college radio in the mid 80s? Two different levels of mental and emotional awakening, sure, but it’s hard to resist when the outcome is the same: getting your mind blown for the first time by the idea that there’s a much bigger and better universe out there than what you’ve experienced in your own small regimented world. And that someone’s out there, boldly telling you that you’re not bound by the rules that stifle you — be that rebel if you have to be.

There’s more ideas out there, sure. After all, a lot of this novel is inspired partly by what’s going on in the real world here and now, and how it’s being handled (or not handled) (or handled terribly) by certain people. Everyone’s got that kind of story out there, waiting to be told. And I’d like to know what some of them are.

Writing again…sort of

I think it’s time to start writing again. The itch to do so has been constant lately.

Even though I’m working on Theadia (and doing a soft-start for the remaster of The Persistence of Memories), I’ve been itching to just write something new. I’m not sure what just yet, and I’m not going to force it. That, and I’ve sort of resurrected some of my writing habits again — noting word count in the small black moleskine calendar notebook, for instance. I’m not doing it every day of course, I’m merely entering it every now and again when the thought and the temptation strikes.

I know I talk about this here every now and again, and I admit sometimes I’m like a broken record (a skipping cd? a corrupted FLAC?) but it’s been an ongoing process that needs constant adjustment and tweaking. We writers sometimes get all meta about our process and it’s usually because we’re trying to figure out why our processes are the way they are, why they sometimes no longer work, and what we need to do to change them. That kind of thing never ends, I’m afraid, but it’s something I’m used to at this point.

As always, it’s just a matter of doing it. Once I start, the rest comes easier.

That time of year again

It’s been a bit over three months since we moved into our New Digs, and things are finally settling and falling back into place. I might still have to remind myself that those month-end payments aren’t for rent anymore but mortgage, but other than that I’m happy that we’re here. We might be slightly further away from the shopping corridors but we’re two blocks from our community garden plot, a block away from a major bus route as well as a very large public park, and the neighborhood is thankfully much more peaceful. (Yes, even during recess for the kidlets at the school across the way.)

This is good timing, as it’s that time of year where I feel the need to change things up. And you know how I am in autumn: excited about the new music releases and contemplative about where I am and where I want to be. I’ve already made a lot of positive changes over the last few months — with room for improvement, of course — so it’s really just a matter of doing it at this point. Or not doing, depending on the situation. Some habits I find I just do not need nor want anymore. Some habits I’d like to revisit once more.

And what about writing? Well, the remaster of A Division of Souls is out and away, and I’m thinking of starting in on the remaster of The Persistence of Memories pretty soon. I’m also focusing on Theadia and it’s still looking good and on schedule for release sometime next year. But I can’t help but think: I’ve got a journal and a notebook gathering dust in my satchel right now, and my 750Words sign-in remains woefully ignored. I mean, I’ve worked on multiple stories at that same time before, so this is nothing new. I can certainly play around with writing extremely rough drafts of new ideas while spending most of my creative energies on the two main projects. And in the process, probably disconnect from a few IRL things that I don’t need to hyperfocus on.

And what better time to do it than during the season that works best for me?