Ready to go again

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I’ve been away from my WIPs for quite a long time, to be honest. Longer than I’d planned, but I’m okay with that. I had my reasons. But now I’m ready to get back behind the keyboard and set off on another adventure.

It just so happens that I finished up another one of my Great Reread sessions of my own work (for sequel-idea or WIP-finishing purposes) as of last Saturday evening. I finished the session with the Bridgetown Trilogy primarily to psych myself up for writing MU4, and in hindsight that was a good idea. The current version of MU4 that I’m working with resonates with the previous three novels yet stands on its own quite well, and that’s exactly what I was hoping for.

And what about the other projects? Right now I have Theadia and Queen Ophelia’s War on the front burners, and Sheila Take a Bow and Walk in Silence (the book) on the back burners. And I’m fine with that. I’m not worried about not having anything brand spanking new to work on — I think I’ve finally grown out of that particular hang up. I have the stories I want to tell, and I’m ready to start writing them. And if anything new does eventually come along, well, that’s what the 750Words site is for, right?

This also means I’m ready to start reading books again! Yay! I’ve finally gotten past the reading burnout and the indifference of my TBR pile, and I’m looking forward to catching up with what I have. And I’m also looking forward to looking for new titles again, something I haven’t done in quite a while. I don’t get that burnout all that often, but I’m glad in the knowledge that when it does happen, it doesn’t last for all that long.

I’m ready to go again, and I can’t wait!

Dialing it back

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I’ve said before that writing Diwa & Kaffi did a number on me mentally and emotionally, but not because it was a hard book to write. On the contrary, it was an immensely pleasurable book to write, even despite the occasional pitfalls and issues I had with it over the couple of years I worked on it. So what happened?

What happened was that I wrote a book where I dialed it back.

My writing, even my juvenilia, has always had that element of emotions at full volume, much like my life for years. It wasn’t real or important unless I was feeling it fully, intensely and completely. It’s just the way my brain had been wired all this time. You can definitely see it in the Bridgetown Trilogy, and even in Meet the Lidwells! and In My Blue World, though in a more muted way.

It was while I was working on Diwa & Kaffi that I realized that not only do I not have to write in that style, I most definitely do not have to live my life that way, either. And that’s what I did during the pandemic while I was unemployed: I dialed it back. It took a long time and I had to do it in increments, but the more I did it, the more I knew this was the right thing to do. The healthier thing to do, physically and emotionally.

In doing this, I allowed myself to make life choices without the overwhelming feeling of yes, but is this what you really want to do? doubt hanging over my head at every moment. I learned that was the main culprit: self-doubt. Not exactly crippling, but definitely strong enough to make me constantly second-guess myself when it came to life decisions. I’d always trusted myself once I took the plunge in whatever decision I made, but it was that initial yes, but what if that was so fucking hard to get past. And to compensate for that, I’d prove I was right by resonating with the decision: fully, intensely and completely.

I started seeing that this was not only unhealthy, but this most definitely was not how most people dealt with this sort of thing. I was constantly jealous of others who could make life-altering decisions with just a ‘yeah, this is what I want’ without dwelling on the decision for years on end and hyper-focusing on the possible outcomes. Why couldn’t I be that way?

Turns out I can. All I had to do was dial it back.

That was part of the reason I wrote Diwa & Kaffi in the first place: I wanted to see if I could write something calm and low-stakes yet still about life-changing decisions. A story that I felt just as strongly about as my other works, but without that unhealthy intensity. That novel was me proving to myself that I didn’t have to live my life dialed up to eleven every waking moment. It was about trusting myself, even if I didn’t know the outcome. And once I finished it, I knew I’d made the right decision.

It scared the shit out of me, finally knowing that I could change, that I could be this person I needed to be with a much calmer demeanor. But the best part? That self-doubt was nowhere to be seen. Sure, sometimes the are you sure? voice is still there, but it’s not crippling. It’s merely reminding me to be smart about my choices, that’s all. I trust myself a hell of a lot more now. Sometimes life just…is. It doesn’t always have to be a Fully and Completely moment every time. And that’s just fine.

I’m sure MU4 will still be intense, as that’s what that universe is all about. And I think my stories going forward will have a somewhat more realistic take on high-stakes issues and intensity, rather than writing another dialed-to-eleven manuscript. Will it change my style any? Who knows. If it does, it does. And that’s just fine too.

Back from vacation

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After a change in plans, A and I decided to head up north to Bodega Bay for a few days for some quiet relaxation. For those of you familiar with that town name, it’s where Hitchcock filmed most of The Birds (some of it was also filmed in the super tiny village of Bodega a few miles inland as well), and let me tell you, we saw a LOT of birds during that trip. Not to mention a lot of dairy farmland along the way. It’s actually not as far as I’d expected; it’s about an hour and a half north of us and super easy to get to, which means we may do this again as a day trip in the future.

It’s definitely not a huge ocean resort location; rather, it’s a place for RVs, fishing, road tripping, eating tasty seafood, and hiking. [And visiting some of the more infamous Birds locations.] And for us, a few days of sitting around reading, going for nature walks and driving up the coast to see what’s there. I didn’t do much other than take a lot of pictures, eat great food and catch up on my Bridgetown Trilogy reread. I did bring a few notebooks with me, but as expected, I did not make a single mark in any of them.

After all, that’s what vacations are for, yeah? To take time off from doing stuff you do on the daily? Heh.

Anyhoo…we’re back home with the cats (thanks much to Carter, who cat-sat for us and kept Jules and Cali busy with play, kitty food and lots of pettins) and enjoying the last of the week off by not doing much of anything at all…except more reading.

See you on Monday!

Weekend plans

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Tomorrow we’re going around the corner to the 4 Star Theater to see a movie I saw and fell in love with when I was nine. It’s a roller disco movie that features Olivia Newton-John, Michael Beck and Gene Kelly. And yes, it’s the one that features Electric Light Orchestra on the soundtrack.

Yes, we’re going to go see Xanadu, the movie that I was obsessed with in fourth grade. I even had the Marvel comic book (which you can see here in all its 80s glory) and can still remember my teacher’s voice telling me to put it away whenever I had it out in class during free time. And years later it was one of the inspirations for my novel In My Blue World.

So why do I love it so? Even though it’s got terrible dialogue, the weakest of plots, special effects and costumes very much of their time, many of the Berkeley-esque dance sequences were shot wrong, and a prime example of ‘too many producers and writers wanting different things out of it’? Oh, and apparently it inspired the Golden Raspberry Awards?

I think it’s partly because for all its problems, it mimics the style of the classic musicals a hell of a lot better than you’d expect. It’s supposed to be corny. There aren’t too many deep emotions going on other than goggle-eyed love at first sight and wistful melancholia of the past. It’s a silly feel-good movie. It even has a Don Bluth animation sequence! And it has a damn fine soundtrack after all. [I mean, where else will you hear a duet between Olivia and…The Tubes?]

And hey, in 2007 they even made it into a successful Broadway hit musical!

PC Stuff

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It’s been a bit of time since I got my new PC, and for the most part it’s been behaving pretty well. I’m still running the cleaners on a sort-of-weekly basis and keeping it healthy. I’m still having the occasional weird issue but I think that’s more on the wonky internet in Spare Oom. That’s most likely due to running too many internetty things at the same time and causing a bottleneck, which ends up causing a disconnect. I’ve always had that issue back here, mainly because we use a Powerline adapter back there. [Short version, it’s using the power outlets instead of an ethernet cable, which we don’t have set up back there.] It would be nice to get properly wired up back there, but it would require either some ridiculous wiring straight from the router (which we had back in Jersey) or rewiring with the landlady involved, and I don’t think I really need to go that far.

I suppose this would be a problem if I was, say, a gamer or a coder or doing something tech related, which I’m not. I’m just someone that’s streaming KEXP online while looking at email while downloading new music releases and saving things to Dropbox. It’s not a big problem at all when I’m working straight to Word, but it can be a problem when I’m working at the 750Words site, or writing a blog here. An internet drop-out can cause drafts not to be properly saved.

It’s not a consistent problem, just one when I’m multitasking too much. It’s merely an occasional setback I can work around. And perhaps I don’t really need to have five different internetty things running at the same time just then…?

Your name is…?

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In going through a bunch of my new and old writing projects these past couple of months, I’ve noticed an interesting and consistent trend through my writing career: my by-line.

In nearly all of my rough drafts, the title page wouldn’t say “by Jon Chaisson”, but “by j chaisson”. A single letter (no period) for the first name and lower case for both. Maybe it’s that I always felt a bit odd writing my own full name on my drafts, or maybe I just liked the looks of it. It’s my handle on Bluesky. I’ve also been using it at work lately. As part of my bookkeeping duties I have to sign off on a few forms and slips and I’ve been signing them the same way. I’d only change it to my full name upon uploading it to Smashwords.

So now I’m wondering…perhaps I’d like to use ‘j chaisson’ as my pen name from here on in. This will mean making a few changes at my Smashwords site. I’ll need to do some changing around with the e-books I have available, and not just the author page; I’ll need to change the cover images and the edition information as well. Thankfully I do my own covers and have the originals so it’s just a matter of making the changes and reupping them. Changing the Amazon paperbacks might be more of a hassle, but I’ve been thinking of taking them down anyway.

So why make this change now? That’s a good question, and the main answer is why the hell not? One reason is because it resonates with me. I’ve used it many times in many places and I like how it looks and feels. Another reason, a more professional one, is that it gives me a bit of leeway for when I want to write out of genre. I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while, but it feels like this is a good a time as any to start.

Getting started…eventually

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It’s occurred to me that one of the reasons I haven’t been doing any writing work lately — I mean, aside from focusing on the blogs and some Walk in Silence (the book) work — is that I’ve been working on rewiring my head a bit.

I’ve written here before, many times, that I’ve been too easily and willingly distracted by online things: social media, videos, comics, music, and so on. Over the course of this year I’ve been working on fixing that, and I think I’m finally at the point where I have it all under control. I’m not really giving any of it up, I’m just no longer being passive about it. I’ve been here before, I just want to make it last longer this time out.

So what about these new projects that are just…sitting there, doing nothing? Well, that’s a good question. And I have a plan that I hope will work. It might be a Best Laid Plan or it might actually work, but hey, at least it’s a plan: continue with the compartmentalization strategy.

I’m not assigning myself work here, which is the trap I’ve fallen into before. No, this is merely part of the job of being a writer. So for instance, say I have my first ten minute break of the day at work: my current habit is to head to the break room, have a snack, and screw around on my phone for a few minutes reading social media until it’s time to go back. Sure, it might be just fine on its own…it’s a bit of mental relaxation during a busy day, right?

I’m trying to break myself out of that. Mainly because I’m personally bored with the habit. It doesn’t do much for me anymore. [I mean, unless A texts me a picture of one of our cats. That’s always worth it.] I think about my other coworkers: some of them head outside to the upper parking deck. Some of them do a bit of reading or texting or chat with friends who are also on break.

My plan before was to change it up and go straight into writing something longhand. Hell, I even have a small notebook that fits perfectly in my jacket pocket! But once I’m on break….? Nothing comes. I’m right back there, futzing around online. Which means that I haven’t quite mastered the approach. What I need to do is prepare myself for that ten minute writing session! So how about this: let’s say I’m scheduled for that ten minute break at 10am. So to prepare for that, I can think about what I want to write at that time by, say, 9:45. A fifteen-minute prep time while I’m ringing up customers. I can definitely think about my writing while at the register, I’ve done it loads of times. So by the time I do go on break, I’m ready and prepared to pull out that notebook and do a bit of work!

To change it up, why not change the setting as well? Go up on the roof, head outside, go somewhere for that ten minutes. And I’m sure that by the time I get this preparation down, I can use all that extra time during my half-hour lunch using the same process to add to the word count.

Will it work? Well, who knows? But it’s worth a shot, right?

Once more in B-Town

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So I’m caught up with the rereads of my current WIPs and I’m ready to get started on the rewrites and revisions of those, which leaves me with one last major task: to reread the Bridgetown Trilogy once more to prepare myself for writing MU4.

Thoughts so far:
–That first chapter with Nehalé Usarai holds up really well after all these years. I love that it hints at the ‘slow build’ of the entire trilogy: quiet and static at first, and slowly growing in intensity and ‘volume’ until the end where you’re left breathless and with a feeling of ‘oh shit this is not going to go well for a lot of people in this city, is it’. I wrote it that way on purpose.
–Sure, the introduction of Caren and Denni uses the classic ‘waking up from a bad dream’ trope, but my writing has been all about using those kinds of tropes and twisting them in different directions. They were not dreaming but visiting their separate lumisha dea — their place of spiritual inner peace — and the visits were not so peaceful this time out. I was lucky in that by 2015 I was intimately aware of the ins and outs of this trilogy so I knew how to make tropes work to my advantage.
–Would I change anything, years later? Maybe? I think I could have beefed up a few character descriptions here and there, maybe make a few of them more dynamic, and fix a few grammar and word choice mistakes, but storywise? Nope. I’m definitely proud of this work. I did exactly what I wanted to do with it and I’m thrilled with the results.

One of the reasons why I return to this universe is that I simply love being within it. It’s the one where I spent this much time, energy and thought: unique characters, detailed maps, an alien language, a spiritual belief system, even a way to travel long distances. It was my own take on the science fiction genre, and I saw it as a way to have fun with the creative process. I could take as deep a dive into it as I wanted, and I certainly did, many times over. And I knew that once The Balance of Light was done, I’d be done with the trilogy…but not necessarily the universe itself. I always knew I’d come back to it, one way or another.

Once I’m done with the trilogy, I’ll of course read what I have so far of MU4 and go from there. I’ll most likely have a much better grasp of what I want to do with it, and what I should do with it.