New digs, no whiteboard

It’s been a couple of weeks now since we’ve moved into the new digs, and things are returning to normal. You’ve probably noticed that the wall behind my monitors are completely bare right now, and I’m actually thinking of keeping it that way for a little while. I’m really embracing the fresh start here.

You’ll notice I don’t have the whiteboard schedule up at all. It’s currently sitting somewhere on the tall black bookshelf (now to the left of my desk, as seen in the picture) alongside the two dollar bulletin board I also haven’t used in a while. Part of the fresh start was to do without the whiteboard for a bit, and I think it’s fair to say I don’t really need it at this point. My blogging schedule hasn’t changed over multiple years and I’m just that type of slightly-overprepared person where it’s cemented in my mind now.

In retrospect, I think this was part of what I needed most out of this fresh start: a true tabula rasa. It wasn’t enough to just wipe the whiteboard clean, I had to take it down and put it away. I couldn’t really try out new processes when I had the ghosts of the old ones still kicking around and looming over me. And besides, I have other real life responsibilities to take care of, now that we’re new homeowners. Non-writing errands that need doing. Cleaning and arranging to do. Cats that need pettins. Things like that. Mind you, writing time is still extremely important and I try to carve out at least an hour or so every day.

A lot of this includes some brain rewiring for me, and while I’m open-minded enough for that, it’s still a strange experience. But I’m excited to see where this leads.

Back to widescreen

I’ve been doing yet another reread of Theadia lately, and aside from the fact that the story hits a little close to home in terms of the current political climate (granted, it was started around the same time as the back end of the Fuckwit’s previous administration, so no surprises there), I think it holds up rather well. Considering I’d spent the last few years writing and releasing novels where the the focus was mainly on the characters and utilizing minimal settings, I wanted to return to the widescreen feel of big cities and large crowds.

I was worried that I’d forgotten how to write such things to be honest. I had to remember how I’d pulled it off with the Bridgetown Trilogy: the population had to frequently be a part of the story, whether directly or indirectly. With Theadia, the inspiration I chose for this was the numerous protests and marches that took place between 2017 and 2021, and again recently. What kind of story would I have to write where the main characters’ drive is the same as the citizens where they live? They couldn’t be keyboard warriors, but they couldn’t rely on blissful ignorance in hopes that their problems would go away either. The drive of every character is in the repeated line: if you could…would you do the right thing? I had to give them ability to go against authority, but I also had to give them personal reasons to do so.

This is the kind of story that’s more than just about the main characters, that’s for sure. With the Bridgetown Trilogy, the main characters were essentially the glue that held the Awakening of the One of All Sacred from falling into disarray, and their drive was to ensure that happened…but their personal drive was to ensure that Denni survived it all.

Theadia follows this in its own way, in several different ways: Althea’s refusal to let outside influence ruin her life, Claudia’s deep sense of family and community, Dani’s distrust of those in charge who should not be, Maris’ anger towards those deliberately driving high command into chaos, and so on. That’s the kind of widescreen thinking I needed to use for a story like this.

It’s exhausting to write, sure, but it’s also exhilarating and one of my favorite styles.

Current status…getting there

It’s been a week and change at the new place and we’ve settled in for the most part, adjusting and rearranging where necessary. The cats took the change in location pretty well, I think partly because we constantly change things up for them to keep things interesting for them. They particularly love the front stairway, because a) it echoes and b) they love going down and running back up! It’s going to be a while before it really sinks in that this is our new home now, but I’m enjoying it so far.

I’m back at the PC and working on the Trilogy Remaster project, and hope to find more time to work on Theadia when and where I can. As always, I’ll try to keep up with the blogging but I’m not going to worry too much if I don’t get around to an entry or two during the week. My longhand writing work is now hanging out in the garage, safely in one of the plastic storage tubs on the new shelves for easy access.

Still, it feels great to be back to work with the writing!

Editing and tidying up

I’m just shy of the halfway point in the Great Trilogy Remaster for A Division of Souls, which is a very good thing. That should leave me quite a lot of time on the back end to give it one more ‘bedtime reread’ (where my mistakes seem to make themselves the most visible) before releasing it out into the world come September.

It’s been ages since I’ve allowed myself to get this close to the Mendaihu Universe to the point where all the right things resonate. I’m using this to my advantage, because this means I know exactly what I was trying to do with the book. This also means that I know exactly where I didn’t quite pull that off. Anytime I find a moment that feels a bit rushed or confusing, too repetitive, or a potential continuity problem, I’m fixing it right there and then.

It’s also a different process than I’ve been used to since I first completed and released the third book in 2017. Whether it’s due to the writing styles or the shorter lengths, my later standalones went through a somewhat different process. I didn’t feel I had to immerse myself that deeply. Not that that was a bad thing, but over the years I began to miss that. Over the next few years I proved to myself that I could write econo, and enjoyed it just as much…but I missed the intensity of the deep dive. The full immersion.

I know, I know…I’ve brought this up a few times here already, but it constantly weighs on my mind while I work on this remaster. Writing the trilogy was such a powerful and life-changing event for me in that my writing chops escalated considerably within the span of just a few years, and it only got better once I started the original revision and self-publication process. Coming back to it again at this time feels like picking up where I left off, and hopefully I’ll be moving ever forward.

I am NOT getting sick.

I refuse to get sick right now, dang it! Especially since we have plans for the weekend!

I’m currently keeping a potential sore throat at bay, and spring allergies are of course making themselves known at the most inopportune times. I’m chugging Airborne and taking Benadryl and even going to bed early these last couple of days. It’s helping as I don’t feel nearly as bad as I did yesterday, but I think that’s also because today’s shift wasn’t nearly as stressful and exhausting.

It’s funny, though, that even when I am sick, I’ll still try to put in a little bit of writing work here in the Belfry. Sometimes it’ll just be a page or two of revision before I give up and start playing with the cats, but as long as it’s forward motion, every little bit helps.

Going outside now and again

It’s just about springtime here in the Bay Area, which means new plants will be blooming, the days will get brighter and longer, temperatures will rise, and the winter rains will be winding down. This means that we’ll have run out of decent excuses not to go out for a neighborhood walk after A gets off work and I happen to be at home. This also means that I really should start walking to and from work more often instead of taking the car.

As much as I love clocking in and getting a sizeable chunk of ‘remastering’ work done on A Division of Souls, sometimes I forget that I really should head outside and get some fresh air. I mean, sure, we own a treadmill now so we can always use that for exercise, but that’s no excuse when we’ve got an extremely walkable and visually interesting neighborhood. And besides, it’s a great way to clear our heads! It gives A a chance to not think about her inbox, and gives me a chance to step away from whatever I’m working on, providing us both with a bit of calm and clarity.

As an added bonus, it keeps me from doomscrolling, but that’s another post altogether. The point here is that I sometimes need to remind myself that the process of writing also includes not writing. This is the part I always forget: there’s a big ol’ world out there with several different kinds and flavors of experiences and sometimes it’s good just to witness it instead of reading about it. It’s a good habit, and it’s also far healthier.

Searching for words

I’ve finally gotten myself into the daily habit of playing a round of playing Squaredle, an online word search game. I’ve always been a sucker for a good word search (I have a few issues of Penny’s Finest Word Seeks on my desk here in Spare Oom) as I find it both distracting in a positive way, and a good use of brain focus, something I’ve been trying to fix for some time.

I’ll be honest, one of the main reasons is because otherwise I find myself doomscrolling on social media during my break times at the day job. I’ll completely admit that I fall way too easily into that trap, and I’ve been needing to escape it for a while now. I tend to hyperfocus on various things and this game is at least something that gets my mind moving and not my blood pressure. I used to do the same thing back during my college years, buying those same word search magazines from the local CVS as a way to dial back the stress of academia. And now that I think about it, those pre-writing session games of FreeCell did the same job of calming my head and helping me properly shift focus.

Whatever works, yeah?

And speaking of searching for words, while working on the Trilogy Remaster I found myself dusting off my copy of Barbara Ann Kipfer’s Flip Dictionary for the first time in ages, a reference book I’d used several times during the writing of the three books. It was an amusing and pleasant reminder of how much I enjoyed going that extra step of trying to find that perfect word that made my prose just that little bit more exciting. I think I used it during the writing of my other books, but not nearly as much as I did the trilogy, and I’m curious as to why. Perhaps I knew what words I needed, but maybe it was also part of my “writing econo” idea I’d had, keeping the prose a bit more simple and less flowery.

I think what I’m trying to get at is that I feel like I’ve been coming full circle lately in terms of writing. I’ve tried all sorts of different formats, lengths, styles and even reference material, and now I feel it’s time for me to return to the ways I love the most.

It’s part of the learning process, I suppose, and I do love the idea of constantly evolving, but I think I’m also at the point where I can safely put down an anchor and say this is where I belong.

Not the only one

Some days I have to actively remind myself that I don’t always have to shoulder every single burden on my own. I’ve been doing pretty good with this at the Day Job, especially since I have an absolutely terrible habit of thinking “I’d better do this because no one else will” when it comes to things that desperately need doing. I don’t have to always be the one to answer the store phone. I can send someone else to do the sweep logs. I can always ask for help if I feel overwhelmed. Some days I forget this and take on far too much, but other days I’ll divvy up the responsibilities equally.

This is also something I need to remember while writing and revising Theadia, considering “I’d better do this because no one else will” is actually a recurring theme in that book. There is a time and place for that kind of thinking, and it can be a great motivator…but at the same time, one really must be aware of their own limitations and ask for help when needed. I’d like to think most of the characters in this novel have gotten pretty good at that, though they’re not perfect. Althea has a habit of reacting loudly and vociferously when something angers her, while Claudia’s reaction to that tends to do the opposite, growing quiet and bottling it up. Over the course of the book they learn that they’re not alone in this rebellion they’ve chosen to kick off, and others in their tight circle are willing to assist without question.

I believe part of this, and this concerns both my novel and my own life, is having finally learned to trust myself to a deeper level. If I trust myself enough to understand my limitations, I can learn to trust others to pick up where I’m unable to continue. And in both writing and life: this gives me the strength and the clarity to think ahead a few extra steps. If I know x is going to happen soon, I’d like to prepare myself for y and z and anything else I expect will arrive in due time.

I’m letting myself rest mentally and emotionally…but I’m also aware of what comes next and how to act. And sometimes that’s the most important thing to remember.

Keeping deadlines and rethinking priorities

It’s not Theadia I’m worried about, actually. It’s A Division of Souls. Against my better judgement, I’m going to try to get the “remastered” version of my first novel ready for an early September release for its tenth anniversary. That gives me about nine months to get my butt in gear and get it done. Can I do it?

Well, I’m reasonably sure I can do it, at any rate. It’s not as if I’m completely rewriting the whole thing! As I’ve mentioned before, this revision that I’m calling a ‘remaster’ is merely updating a story I’ve spent several years on, and want to update it so it fits my current level of quality. I’m not embarrassed by it, but I can definitely see places where I could have done a lot better work on it.

At the same time, I worry that Theadia will fall by the wayside again. That won’t happen if I don’t let it, of course. I just have to shift priorities. Besides, I want to do that novel justice, and right now it still feels like it still contains a lot of gaps that need filling. [I mean, aside from its still being unfinished at this time.] The two projects are very similar in scope, I think. Both are Big Stories with an extended cast, featuring events that affect not just the main characters but everyone around them.

Both are also stories where I wanted to make some kind of statement. The Bridgetown Trilogy is about listening to and trusting the true spirit within — in short, trusting yourself, your instincts, and your emotions. Theadia is about wanting to do the right thing not only for your own benefit but for others — in short, understanding the consequences of your actions. And I feel that for both statements, I can’t really allow the stories to be half-assed.

This is definitely going to stress me out a bit in the next few months, but if I take it day by day, keep to my deadlines and stay focused, I shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

Against the grain

Against the grain
That’s where I’ll stay
Swimming upstream
I maintain against the grain

–Bad Religion

Sure, it might not help me sell a ton of books, but that’s never truly been my writing goal, only a nice dream to have. The fact that I know I have a few hundred copies of my seven novels out there, and that I have a small but loyal following here on my blogs? That’s good enough for me.

I know my work isn’t for everyone. It doesn’t quite fit in to What Sells or What’s Popular. But again, that’s never been my goal. I write what I want, how I want, and when I want. And that is what I’ve wanted.

And maintaining that bit of nonconformity in everyday life is also something worth embracing.