Writing again…sort of

I think it’s time to start writing again. The itch to do so has been constant lately.

Even though I’m working on Theadia (and doing a soft-start for the remaster of The Persistence of Memories), I’ve been itching to just write something new. I’m not sure what just yet, and I’m not going to force it. That, and I’ve sort of resurrected some of my writing habits again — noting word count in the small black moleskine calendar notebook, for instance. I’m not doing it every day of course, I’m merely entering it every now and again when the thought and the temptation strikes.

I know I talk about this here every now and again, and I admit sometimes I’m like a broken record (a skipping cd? a corrupted FLAC?) but it’s been an ongoing process that needs constant adjustment and tweaking. We writers sometimes get all meta about our process and it’s usually because we’re trying to figure out why our processes are the way they are, why they sometimes no longer work, and what we need to do to change them. That kind of thing never ends, I’m afraid, but it’s something I’m used to at this point.

As always, it’s just a matter of doing it. Once I start, the rest comes easier.

Somewhere in between

I’m kind of in an interstitial space right now creatively, I think. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve stopped performing a lot of the habits I’d had over the last several years in Spare Oom — the whiteboard schedule, the logging of the word count, writing at 750Words, and so on. The main reason I stopped is that I wanted a fresh start here at the New Digs. For the most part it’s been a positive choice as I haven’t felt the stress of not hitting scheduled goals. It’s helped me focus on current projects with more clarity.

Not that I’m complaining, however. I like being here at this time, because it means that I’m breaking away from old habits and yet to forge new ones. I’m allowing myself to try new things and approach current projects in a slightly different way. Perhaps this is why I’m also allowing myself to indulge in a wave of comic reading on Hoopla these last several weeks…I get to try something new, see what inspires me.

I’ll be honest, I do occasionally feel the temptation to fire up the 750Words or do a bit of journaling, but I’ve been responding to that with well, you don’t HAVE to if you don’t really want to. Which, to me, means that if the only reason I want to do any of that is out of a sense of missing it, then I probably shouldn’t waste my time. If I’m going to return to the daily words or the journaling or anything else, I want to have a good creative reason. For the moment, I don’t want to split up my concentration on anything that’s mere folly right now, not when I want to put as much focus as I can on the Theadia project.

I suppose if this stage is anything like the one I had during the Belfry Years, this will (hopefully) mean that a lot of positive creativity will soon come out of it.

Keeping track of the days…or not

I’ve realized that I haven’t been logging my words and creative output in my calendar notebook lately. Not that I got rid of it or don’t have the time for it, simply that I just haven’t thought about it. I’m not all that bothered by it, as I’ve been doing it primarily as a way to see how much I’ve done, and I’m well aware of my own creative output at this point.

But let’s be honest here: over the last couple of years, the entries have been pretty much the same: blog entries written and posted, daily 750Words written, and word count logged when I’ve actually been working on a completely new project. It can be interesting, but it can also be quite distracting and disconcerting, especially whenever I get that time-honored writerly anxiety of feeling like a failure for not getting any work done despite completing multiple things almost every single day.

I started logging those numbers around 2002 when I was writing the trilogy, because I was curious: when I was writing The Phoenix Effect longhand I’d get about five pages done, which would then be transcribed to about two and a half single-space pages typed — basically around five hundred words. By the time I was writing A Division of Souls directly into the PC, I wanted to see how much I could do, and if it was possible for me to write even more words each session. (And to be aware of how often I’d get distracted by various things). Soon I was writing about a thousand words on a nightly basis. I’d finally figured out what was a comfortable word count goal for me.

These days, however, it feels more like a distraction or an assignment than anything fun or helpful. Not that I hate doing it, I just feel as though I don’t need to do it now, at least not until I’m back to working on a completely new project. It’s all a part of my changing creative habits as we continue to settle into the New Digs. In its own way, the continual focus on word count goals and logging project updates had become a distraction itself; my creativity had started feeling more like a chore or an assignment than a joy. I kind of knew somehow that this constant logging was only adding to that stress, but I wasn’t quite sure if I was ready to get rid of it just yet.

Again, moving to our new home was a perfect way to cut those ties once and for all. I feel less chained to the keyboard, less stressed out, less inclined to feel guilty if I don’t get a lot of work done. And that, in itself, is one of the creative goals I’ve been trying to reach for some time now.

New digs, no whiteboard

It’s been a couple of weeks now since we’ve moved into the new digs, and things are returning to normal. You’ve probably noticed that the wall behind my monitors are completely bare right now, and I’m actually thinking of keeping it that way for a little while. I’m really embracing the fresh start here.

You’ll notice I don’t have the whiteboard schedule up at all. It’s currently sitting somewhere on the tall black bookshelf (now to the left of my desk, as seen in the picture) alongside the two dollar bulletin board I also haven’t used in a while. Part of the fresh start was to do without the whiteboard for a bit, and I think it’s fair to say I don’t really need it at this point. My blogging schedule hasn’t changed over multiple years and I’m just that type of slightly-overprepared person where it’s cemented in my mind now.

In retrospect, I think this was part of what I needed most out of this fresh start: a true tabula rasa. It wasn’t enough to just wipe the whiteboard clean, I had to take it down and put it away. I couldn’t really try out new processes when I had the ghosts of the old ones still kicking around and looming over me. And besides, I have other real life responsibilities to take care of, now that we’re new homeowners. Non-writing errands that need doing. Cleaning and arranging to do. Cats that need pettins. Things like that. Mind you, writing time is still extremely important and I try to carve out at least an hour or so every day.

A lot of this includes some brain rewiring for me, and while I’m open-minded enough for that, it’s still a strange experience. But I’m excited to see where this leads.

Back to widescreen

I’ve been doing yet another reread of Theadia lately, and aside from the fact that the story hits a little close to home in terms of the current political climate (granted, it was started around the same time as the back end of the Fuckwit’s previous administration, so no surprises there), I think it holds up rather well. Considering I’d spent the last few years writing and releasing novels where the the focus was mainly on the characters and utilizing minimal settings, I wanted to return to the widescreen feel of big cities and large crowds.

I was worried that I’d forgotten how to write such things to be honest. I had to remember how I’d pulled it off with the Bridgetown Trilogy: the population had to frequently be a part of the story, whether directly or indirectly. With Theadia, the inspiration I chose for this was the numerous protests and marches that took place between 2017 and 2021, and again recently. What kind of story would I have to write where the main characters’ drive is the same as the citizens where they live? They couldn’t be keyboard warriors, but they couldn’t rely on blissful ignorance in hopes that their problems would go away either. The drive of every character is in the repeated line: if you could…would you do the right thing? I had to give them ability to go against authority, but I also had to give them personal reasons to do so.

This is the kind of story that’s more than just about the main characters, that’s for sure. With the Bridgetown Trilogy, the main characters were essentially the glue that held the Awakening of the One of All Sacred from falling into disarray, and their drive was to ensure that happened…but their personal drive was to ensure that Denni survived it all.

Theadia follows this in its own way, in several different ways: Althea’s refusal to let outside influence ruin her life, Claudia’s deep sense of family and community, Dani’s distrust of those in charge who should not be, Maris’ anger towards those deliberately driving high command into chaos, and so on. That’s the kind of widescreen thinking I needed to use for a story like this.

It’s exhausting to write, sure, but it’s also exhilarating and one of my favorite styles.

Current status…getting there

It’s been a week and change at the new place and we’ve settled in for the most part, adjusting and rearranging where necessary. The cats took the change in location pretty well, I think partly because we constantly change things up for them to keep things interesting for them. They particularly love the front stairway, because a) it echoes and b) they love going down and running back up! It’s going to be a while before it really sinks in that this is our new home now, but I’m enjoying it so far.

I’m back at the PC and working on the Trilogy Remaster project, and hope to find more time to work on Theadia when and where I can. As always, I’ll try to keep up with the blogging but I’m not going to worry too much if I don’t get around to an entry or two during the week. My longhand writing work is now hanging out in the garage, safely in one of the plastic storage tubs on the new shelves for easy access.

Still, it feels great to be back to work with the writing!

Editing and tidying up

I’m just shy of the halfway point in the Great Trilogy Remaster for A Division of Souls, which is a very good thing. That should leave me quite a lot of time on the back end to give it one more ‘bedtime reread’ (where my mistakes seem to make themselves the most visible) before releasing it out into the world come September.

It’s been ages since I’ve allowed myself to get this close to the Mendaihu Universe to the point where all the right things resonate. I’m using this to my advantage, because this means I know exactly what I was trying to do with the book. This also means that I know exactly where I didn’t quite pull that off. Anytime I find a moment that feels a bit rushed or confusing, too repetitive, or a potential continuity problem, I’m fixing it right there and then.

It’s also a different process than I’ve been used to since I first completed and released the third book in 2017. Whether it’s due to the writing styles or the shorter lengths, my later standalones went through a somewhat different process. I didn’t feel I had to immerse myself that deeply. Not that that was a bad thing, but over the years I began to miss that. Over the next few years I proved to myself that I could write econo, and enjoyed it just as much…but I missed the intensity of the deep dive. The full immersion.

I know, I know…I’ve brought this up a few times here already, but it constantly weighs on my mind while I work on this remaster. Writing the trilogy was such a powerful and life-changing event for me in that my writing chops escalated considerably within the span of just a few years, and it only got better once I started the original revision and self-publication process. Coming back to it again at this time feels like picking up where I left off, and hopefully I’ll be moving ever forward.

I am NOT getting sick.

I refuse to get sick right now, dang it! Especially since we have plans for the weekend!

I’m currently keeping a potential sore throat at bay, and spring allergies are of course making themselves known at the most inopportune times. I’m chugging Airborne and taking Benadryl and even going to bed early these last couple of days. It’s helping as I don’t feel nearly as bad as I did yesterday, but I think that’s also because today’s shift wasn’t nearly as stressful and exhausting.

It’s funny, though, that even when I am sick, I’ll still try to put in a little bit of writing work here in the Belfry. Sometimes it’ll just be a page or two of revision before I give up and start playing with the cats, but as long as it’s forward motion, every little bit helps.

Going outside now and again

It’s just about springtime here in the Bay Area, which means new plants will be blooming, the days will get brighter and longer, temperatures will rise, and the winter rains will be winding down. This means that we’ll have run out of decent excuses not to go out for a neighborhood walk after A gets off work and I happen to be at home. This also means that I really should start walking to and from work more often instead of taking the car.

As much as I love clocking in and getting a sizeable chunk of ‘remastering’ work done on A Division of Souls, sometimes I forget that I really should head outside and get some fresh air. I mean, sure, we own a treadmill now so we can always use that for exercise, but that’s no excuse when we’ve got an extremely walkable and visually interesting neighborhood. And besides, it’s a great way to clear our heads! It gives A a chance to not think about her inbox, and gives me a chance to step away from whatever I’m working on, providing us both with a bit of calm and clarity.

As an added bonus, it keeps me from doomscrolling, but that’s another post altogether. The point here is that I sometimes need to remind myself that the process of writing also includes not writing. This is the part I always forget: there’s a big ol’ world out there with several different kinds and flavors of experiences and sometimes it’s good just to witness it instead of reading about it. It’s a good habit, and it’s also far healthier.

Searching for words

I’ve finally gotten myself into the daily habit of playing a round of playing Squaredle, an online word search game. I’ve always been a sucker for a good word search (I have a few issues of Penny’s Finest Word Seeks on my desk here in Spare Oom) as I find it both distracting in a positive way, and a good use of brain focus, something I’ve been trying to fix for some time.

I’ll be honest, one of the main reasons is because otherwise I find myself doomscrolling on social media during my break times at the day job. I’ll completely admit that I fall way too easily into that trap, and I’ve been needing to escape it for a while now. I tend to hyperfocus on various things and this game is at least something that gets my mind moving and not my blood pressure. I used to do the same thing back during my college years, buying those same word search magazines from the local CVS as a way to dial back the stress of academia. And now that I think about it, those pre-writing session games of FreeCell did the same job of calming my head and helping me properly shift focus.

Whatever works, yeah?

And speaking of searching for words, while working on the Trilogy Remaster I found myself dusting off my copy of Barbara Ann Kipfer’s Flip Dictionary for the first time in ages, a reference book I’d used several times during the writing of the three books. It was an amusing and pleasant reminder of how much I enjoyed going that extra step of trying to find that perfect word that made my prose just that little bit more exciting. I think I used it during the writing of my other books, but not nearly as much as I did the trilogy, and I’m curious as to why. Perhaps I knew what words I needed, but maybe it was also part of my “writing econo” idea I’d had, keeping the prose a bit more simple and less flowery.

I think what I’m trying to get at is that I feel like I’ve been coming full circle lately in terms of writing. I’ve tried all sorts of different formats, lengths, styles and even reference material, and now I feel it’s time for me to return to the ways I love the most.

It’s part of the learning process, I suppose, and I do love the idea of constantly evolving, but I think I’m also at the point where I can safely put down an anchor and say this is where I belong.