Sometimes it takes a while

Some days the words come thick and fast. Some days I’m able to fly through a scene with relative ease. Some days I know exactly what I want to write, and how to write it, and all I need to do is the work.

This chapter is not one of those days, dang it.

During a slow moment at work the other day I managed to figure out what I was doing wrong with the first attempt at this scene, and made a few personal notes on what needed to happen so I could write it at a later time. Which is all well and good, because over the last couple of days I have not been able to do it.

Whether it’s writer’s block, the don’t wannas or just exhaustion and overthinking, that doesn’t matter. I’ll get there sooner or later.

I just need to remind myself now and again that some days it takes a while for it to unfold.

Catching up on reading

My bedside reading pile looks a little less ominous these days as I’ve thinned it out a little bit, finally finishing up some titles and getting rid of others that didn’t quite work for me. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been rereading a few books by favorite authors in preparation to read a newer title in the same universe that I haven’t gotten to yet.

Recently I’ve finished Karen Lord’s The Best of All Possible Worlds and The Galaxy Game in preparation to start reading the third in the Cygnus Beta series, The Blue, Beautiful World. I’d read them way back in the summer of 2015, and though I clearly remember loving the books, it seems I’d forgotten why, until reading them again. The style is very much in my wheelhouse, and must have inspired or influenced me in some way, as the books’ style is very similar to mine. I read these right about the same time I’d been working on self-publishing the Bridgetown Trilogy, so I must have been looking for something to inspire my future projects.

There’s also the fact that with age and maturity (even within the last decade), I hadn’t noticed just how brilliant the setting is: it’s a story regarding a dying planet that could have been grimdark and dystopian…but wasn’t. It’s about what happens to the survivors, learning to live and adjust to new planets and new cultures, and focuses on a group of people dedicated to ensuring this emigration is successful. It’s actually kind of hopeful without quite being hopepunk.

This, by the way, is similar to the setting of my current WIP Theadia: a story regarding a possible incoming war between galactic sectors…but isn’t merely about the war itself. It’s about what happens to those about to be affected by it, and focuses on a group of people dedicated to ensuring the damage is minimal. Purely coincidental, by the way, considering I hadn’t reread the two books in nearly a decade, but on the other hand, I’m kind of secretly thrilled that I feel like I’m pulling it off. Rereading this series basically said to me, yeah, you can write this kind of thing and get away with it.

My next reread will be Lavie Tidhar’s Central Station which I remember really liking as well, followed up by his recent book Neom, which takes place in the same universe. I was especially drawn to the first book with its origins as separate shorter stories that ended up telling one larger story, and that in itself inspired me to want to someday write a novel with a similar setup. My sometimes-trunked, sometimes-not project Can’t Find My Way Home briefly had a new life back in 2017, partly inspired by that.

So in short, what I’m thinking is this: perhaps it’s time for me to do some more serious catching up on reading, because obviously I’m finally being reminded where my inspirations and influences come from, and maybe find something new in the process!

Short hiatus time

Unfortunately I am falling behind on a lot of my writing work lately, so I’m going to be taking a few weeks off to catch up. It happens from time to time…whether it’s the Day Job sapping my energy or other non-writing things taking precedence now and again, I just run out of space on the schedule. It’s not my favorite feeling, to be honest, and sometimes I have to sacrifice things here and there. It’s not always to catch up, either…sometimes it’s just to give myself a mental and physical break to rest.

Not to worry, though. I shall be back soon!

Long Work Days and Writing Sessions

There are just some days at the Day Job that leave me so exhausted that you say okay fine, I’m taking a day off and passing out on the bed instead of trying to work through this chapter. And as all good writers do, I always feel incredibly guilty about it, even though I should know better that creativity rarely works well during a drain of energy.

It’s been a couple of busy days at the Day Job, mainly due to back to back holidays known to be extremely chaotic in retail (Mother’s Day and Memorial Day), a strong wave of warm and sunny days in the neighborhood, as well as the final days of the local middle and high schools wrapping up, bringing twitchy teens loading up on snacks and drinks.

Usually I can get a few hundred words done despite this, but the deal-breaker this time has been allergies. Those warm and sunny days have brought along several blooming and pollenating plants and trees that have kept me stuffed up and/or handling a migraine throughout my shifts. I look forward to days off when this kind of thing lays me low.

Still…I don’t feel too guilty about missing a few days or doing the least amount of writing work. It annoys me that I have to sacrifice that and not something else, but I’ve made my peace with that some time ago. As long as I’m able to get back to work soon enough.

New phone!

We’d decided it was time to upgrade our phones and went with the Google Pixel 8a. We’ve had really good luck with this brand over the last few years and see no reason to change to anything different. The camera is supposedly even better than the previous iteration, so I figured I’d try it out by taking another shot out Spare Oom window looking north. Looks nice to me!

For the most part I don’t see too many differences but then again I’ve mostly been fiddling with the settings and deciding which apps can stay and which I’ll most likely get rid of eventually. [I mean, do I really need six food-ordering apps when I really only use three of them?] I would like to get back into the habit of taking more pictures again — I mean, other than shots of our two ridiculous cats — and maybe start using the sound recording app again.

And what am I doing with my old phone? Well, I’m planning on using it as an e-reader for the most part. Delete most of the apps on it but keep the Dropbox, Hoopla and B&N apps. Or maybe even continue using that as a camera as well? Who knows?

Non-writing creativity

So what am I working on creatively when I’m not writing? No, sadly I haven’t been playing music or making art lately.

However, A and I have been working on the above — our own little six-by-six plot at the local community garden! It’s mostly A’s planning, perseverance and plant selection, but I’ve been, as they say, getting stuck in when we stop there every couple of days. One or both of us will stop by every other day, maybe harvest some of that ridiculously fruitful red and green lettuce, and give it all a good watering. [The above picture is courtesy of A, btw.]

Funny thing is, I never thought I’d be all that excited about gardening, even though we’ve been watching Gardener’s World on BritBox for a good few years now. But when we started working on this, I really found myself having a lot of fun with it. And not just that, it’s forcing me to get out of my reactive don’t wanna mode that often gets the best of me. The other weekend when we participated in a monthly garden community gathering to clean and weed, I really got stuck in and weeded the hell out of a significant area that had been bothering me since we got the plot. It feels really weird to feel that sense of pride in something I never thought I’d get actively excited about. It’s kind of made me rethink a lot about how I approach a lot of things in life, and that’s a super healthy thing to do.

Plus, we’ve been having a TON of free salad these days, and that can’t be a bad thing.

Outside

I think it’s safe to say that the cold rainy season here in the Bay Area has finally come to a close (I hope), which means that I’ll be able to return to something I’ve been wanting — and needing — to do at work for a while now. And that’s go outside during my breaks.

I was doing it for a while there, heading up to the roof parking deck for my ten minute breaks and the back half of my lunches. For a while there I was just heading to our small break room and slumping into one of the chairs and, well…maybe not doomscrolling, but passively reading news sites and social media again. At least I’m not getting myself worked up like I used to, so there’s that.

Anyway, I think heading up to the roof, or even out to the side parking lot for a few minutes can’t be all bad, especially since I have a small notebook in my inside jacket pocket that’s been itching to be used for quite some time now. I’ve been using it to work out a few vague ideas for Theadia, but I think it’s time I start using it more often like I used to in the Yankee Candle days: working out what I want to write for the current chapter, that way I’m not wracking my brain at the start of my writing sessions.

As long as the weather is with me, I think this is a fine idea!

[On a side note, I can safely say I don’t need to head outside to do any exercise, as this day job keeps me on my toes and I can easily rack up a few miles’ worth of steps on my fitness app. I’ve joked with one of the bakery workers that any of the cake slices I buy from them get worked off by the end of the day, considering how much I flit around the store!]

Hrrmm…

Yeah, I think I’m more than a bit out of practice when it comes to writing bigger stories. It’s been far too long since I’ve written in this style, I think. But I’m being patient and hoping that it all works out eventually. It’ll come back to me.

Over this past week I’ve been trying to write an all-new chapter for Theadia that introduces an important secondary character, but I know that this very rough draft is coming out a little, well…rough. I know I could do better, and I’m thinking I might need to give this another go-round before I move on to the next chapter. I think I’m more annoyed that my word count plummeted to about three hundred words a session when usually they’re an easy eight hundred or so. [It doesn’t help that I’ll find myself easily distracted by music and, er, blogging things like this.] But I’m not giving up.

I’m reminding myself that I’ve been in this situation several times in the past, where my word count can fluctuate at any point in time, where I might struggle to get a single scene done one day and breeze through another one the next. It’s just how the writing biz is. And no, I’m not going to use AI to help me, as this is actually my favorite part of writing! Heh.

I’ll get through it, one way or another.