Tag: blogging

Keeping track of the days…or not

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I’ve realized that I haven’t been logging my words and creative output in my calendar notebook lately. Not that I got rid of it or don’t have the time for it, simply that I just haven’t thought about it. I’m not all that bothered by it, as I’ve been doing it primarily as a way to see how much I’ve done, and I’m well aware of my own creative output at this point.

But let’s be honest here: over the last couple of years, the entries have been pretty much the same: blog entries written and posted, daily 750Words written, and word count logged when I’ve actually been working on a completely new project. It can be interesting, but it can also be quite distracting and disconcerting, especially whenever I get that time-honored writerly anxiety of feeling like a failure for not getting any work done despite completing multiple things almost every single day.

I started logging those numbers around 2002 when I was writing the trilogy, because I was curious: when I was writing The Phoenix Effect longhand I’d get about five pages done, which would then be transcribed to about two and a half single-space pages typed — basically around five hundred words. By the time I was writing A Division of Souls directly into the PC, I wanted to see how much I could do, and if it was possible for me to write even more words each session. (And to be aware of how often I’d get distracted by various things). Soon I was writing about a thousand words on a nightly basis. I’d finally figured out what was a comfortable word count goal for me.

These days, however, it feels more like a distraction or an assignment than anything fun or helpful. Not that I hate doing it, I just feel as though I don’t need to do it now, at least not until I’m back to working on a completely new project. It’s all a part of my changing creative habits as we continue to settle into the New Digs. In its own way, the continual focus on word count goals and logging project updates had become a distraction itself; my creativity had started feeling more like a chore or an assignment than a joy. I kind of knew somehow that this constant logging was only adding to that stress, but I wasn’t quite sure if I was ready to get rid of it just yet.

Again, moving to our new home was a perfect way to cut those ties once and for all. I feel less chained to the keyboard, less stressed out, less inclined to feel guilty if I don’t get a lot of work done. And that, in itself, is one of the creative goals I’ve been trying to reach for some time now.

Slowing down and enjoying life

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Okay, so I refuse to say that I’m slowing down because I’m getting old. I mean, I am, and my joints aren’t as flexible and springy as they used to be, but I refuse to use that as an excuse to be lazy.

On the other hand, I’ve been making a concerted effort, especially at the day job, where I’m trying to break a long-standing and terrible habit of trying to do everything at once as fast as I can. It’s fine every now and again, but trying to speed through a very long line of customers will only serve two things: a) I’ll exhaust myself faster, and b) I’m doing at least twice the work all my other coworkers are doing. Do I really need to go through my shift constantly stuck going 70 mph while everyone else is doing a much more sedate 45? Do I have to do it all myself when I can easily ask a coworker to help? I guess what I’m looking for is a bit of a Zen balance here. Do what needs doing when it needs doing, but realize what I don’t have to do everything else as well.

The same thing goes with my writing. I think I’ve finally grown out of the mindset that I must Write All The Things Before It’s Too Late. For the moment I’m adding a little bit at a time to my writing schedule and searching for a comfortable working level. After several weeks off due to moving, I’m back with the blogging, and I’ve been thinking about returning to the 750Words site again. I’ve even switched the notebook in my jacket pocket with a sketch pad, with the idea of just drawing purely for the fun of it when I have a moment. And interestingly enough, I haven’t done any longhand journaling for a couple of months, and I think that’s partly because I just don’t feel like I need to.

That’s one of the key things right there: do it only if you feel the need. Just like the day job, I don’t need to do any daily journaling, or get any specific word count. I just want to focus on the Trilogy Remaster, finish off Theadia, and possibly restart MU4 for the nth time. But I don’t feel an unhealthy need to do it right this second. It’s healthier this way, mentally and physically. Believe me, I know from burnout, and I’m aiming to avoid it from here on in.

And besides, we now live just a block away from one of the most famous city parks in the world, so there is zero reason why I shouldn’t be going outside and enjoying said park every now and again.

Future View

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Here we are at the last Welcome to Bridgetown entry of 2022. It’s been a busy year of change here: getting a new Day Job, being in-person social again, putting multiple novel projects on indefinite hiatus, and allowing myself to focus on personal needs. I’ve already gone over most of what’s gone on this year in previous entries here so I’ll spare you the details, but I will say that all told, 2022 has been a rather positive one.

So what will 2023 bring?

For starters I will be focusing most of my creative time on the MU4 project and the Bridgetown Trilogy Remaster. It’s been a long time in coming, and I’ve put it off for long enough. The Mendaihu Universe was always supposed to span several books and different generations and settings and not just stick around as a trilogy. Mind you, I’m vaguely thinking of this new project as another set of three books, but I’m not holding myself to it. If it’s a duology, or a single, or even a tetralogy, I’ll let it be what it needs to be. And I think I’m going to be sticking around in the MU for a while, filling in the blanks in its history.

I’d also like to get back to using the 750Words site on a consistent basis again. I haven’t made any decisions in to what I’ll be writing there, though I have a few possibilities. I’d also like to finally make something out of all those Drunken Owl demo outtakes I’ve recorded over the last several years. Some of them are just thirty second riffs and some are full-on three-minute tunes. I haven’t written any songs for years now and I kind of miss it, to be honest. I don’t know if these will have lyrics or if they’ll remain instrumental, but the plan is to make them more than just soundbites.

What about the personal side of things…? Well, some of that is going to stay personal for the time being of course. But what I can share is that I see the new year as one of exploration and expansion. Having spent the last two years cleaning out the mental and emotional detritus, it’s time for the next step: discovering what should go in its place. I’ve had self-built barriers up for the longest time, and after spending the last two years tearing them down and creating a much stronger foundation, it’s time to start rebuilding. What will that entail? Well, we’ll find out in the future, won’t we?

In the meantime, thanks to everyone who’s been following me here or just stopping buy, downloading my ebooks, and talking with me on social media. You’ve all been wonderful these last few years despite everything that’s gone on in the world, and I appreciate it all.

See you on the flip side.

Future Blog Plans

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Image courtesy of Dareka no Manazashi (Someone’s Gaze)

Lately I’ve been pondering what to do about Diwa & Kaffi. For a few years now I’ve been wanting to send it out into the world via a publisher, but now I’m having second thoughts about it. I love the story and I’m damn proud of it, but is it something that will work under a professional publisher…?

I’m not a commercial writer, that’s for sure. I’ve tried that style and it doesn’t work for me…maybe it’s still the nonconformist kid in me that’s refusing to tick all the boxes that make commercial fiction — or more to the point, the constant desire to subvert tropes and expectations and still write an enjoyable novel — that I feel more comfortable staying with DIY self-publishing. As hard as it is to self-promote and upsell my own work once it’s out in the world, the sense of pride I feel knowing that the five ebooks I have out there were all nearly completely done on my own is the best part of all.

Getting back to Diwa & Kaffi: the other day I thought about releasing it here, on Welcome to Bridgetown, posting a chapter at a time. For free…?? you ask. Why would you do this and not get paid for it? you ask. Well, that’s a very good question, and one that runs through my head all the time when I self-publish. These aren’t money makers…but whenever Smashwords has a sale and I offer them for free, I get downloads. Not many, but enough to make me happy.

Besides, I think it would be kind of fun to share this story with you in this way. Maybe brighten it up with a few sketches of characters or story locations I’ve done over the years. And maybe new ones as well — I’m thinking along the lines of those Winnie the Pooh sort of header sketches that you see in YA books sometimes. (Whether they’ll be by me is up to question, but we’ll see.)

So. I’m not entirely sure when this will start, but I’ll let you all know if and when it does.

Making It Work

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Image courtesey of Digimon

Okay, I’ll be honest — I’m at a crossroads. Over the last few weeks I’d been contemplating whether or not I should let one or both of the blogs go on an indefinite hiatus, or to go in the opposite direction: to Make It Work. And right now I’m leaning towards the latter, because writing has been a lifelong endeavor. I mean, the last time I went on blogging hiatus was because I needed the mental and emotional vacation, especially after I’d left the Former Day Job. Now? Now it just feels like I’m just avoiding it for no reason.

One of the reasons this came to mind is because of my recent revision/rewrite work on Theadia, and the fact that working on it has felt so similar to working on the Bridgetown Trilogy back in my Belfry days. When the resonance to a project is this strong, I’m not going to dismiss it. Every day I look forward to working on it for a few hours! And I don’t think I’ve felt that in quite some time, probably not since those days, when I would come home from the Day Job and head downstairs every evening, eager to get writing.

It didn’t occur to me how much I’d missed that. That drive and excitement. Don’t get me wrong, I loved writing my last few novels both released and unreleased. But in hindsight I think some of those might have been written more out of necessity than enjoyment. I loved writing them and I’m proud of them, but they didn’t excite me quite like working on the trilogy did. Mind you, I forced myself not to think of it that way at the time because I knew that they were different projects. Theadia feels different. It could be that it’s a much larger epic-sized project (like the trilogy) and those are the ones I love writing the most. It could also just simply be about it being the right time for it. I’m not going to question it, though. I’m just going to enjoy it.

Back to blogging: what I believe I’ve been missing is that same drive. I enjoy posting, and god knows I can talk your ears off about music and writing when given the chance. So why have I been avoiding it off and on over the last couple of years? I’m pretty sure it’s the same as above: I’ve been writing about things I’m not as enthused about as I used to be. [Or alternately, that I’ve talked about things I do obsess over for so long that I’ve been repeating myself and getting frustrated by that. There is a very strong chance that could be the other culprit.]

So how make my blogging work for me again? Well, one of the obvious things is to post about new subjects that I’ve avoided in the past, either for personal reasons or because I’d been too distracted by other subjects. Let’s do an ongoing theme about my obsession with music in the 90s. Let’s post some microfiction I’ve piled up over the years. It’s about that resonance with the subject I want to talk about and share. And it’s also about being fine with writing things that aren’t always of high importance. Have fun with it. Enjoy it. Look forward to writing it, especially when it’s about things that resonate with me.

Starting off on a positive note

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Wishes for 2021 courtesy of a sidewalk artist in our neighborhood.

I’ve been doing pretty good for the last few months, even despite the pandemic, the news, and everything else. I’ve learned to establish my own personal boundaries and stick to them, and know when to push myself when needed. It’s by no means a perfect setup, but it’s what works for me and keeps me sane.

I suppose I could post what my 2021 plans are here, but to be honest, I don’t have too many right now. At least none that I think are worth posting on Day One, at any rate; some of them can wait until I’m good and ready. What I do plan on doing in 2021 is to be more outwardly positive. It’s still far too easy for me to let the latest news affect me, still too easy for me to fall into cynicism. If it tires me to hear myself go on about it, I imagine it would annoy the hell out of everyone else even more.

I didn’t make any major updates on the whiteboard schedule, instead keeping with the one I’d created when I started writing again some months ago. It still works well for me, so there’s no need to change it up just yet:

Sunday: blog post for Dreamwidth, music practice
Monday: 750 Words, art practice, blog post for Welcome to Bridgetown
Tuesday: 750 Words, art practice, blog post for Walk in Silence
Wednesday: 750 Words, art practice, music practice
Thursday: 750 Words, art practice, Walk in Silence
Friday: 750 Words, art practice, Welcome to Bridgetown
Saturday: poetry, music practice

Right now the “music practice” and “art practice” consist of mere basics: guitar and bass noodling, and simple storyboarding for my novels. At this point it’s more about consistency and getting used to the processes again, and not worrying too much about perfection. I’ve ignored those two for far too long, so it’s time for me to pick them up again.

As for the 750, I don’t have any specific projects I’m working on with them, so instead I’m using it to get back into the habit of ‘writing for fun’. It’s been a while since I opened up that site to just write microfiction or expand on vague ideas, none of which happen to relate to any major project I might be working on. Besides, I sometimes come up with neat ideas for future projects that way!

Anyway…it’s a new year, I’m starting off on a positive note, and I plan on keeping it that way as much as I can.

Sometime to Return

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I ran away I walked a fine line
Wasting time only to find
You were callin’ I think finally
To remind me I am fine

Whoof. It’s been HOW LONG since I posted here? At least a couple of months. What the hell have I been doing all this time? A bit of this, a bit of that. Going at my own pace for once. Figuring a lot of personal shit out. Cleaning out the attic and the cupboards and rewiring the circuits, so to speak. I haven’t been nearly as productive as I’d like, but I have to remind myself I’d taken this hiatus precisely to break myself out of that mindset.

And now I’m back. Hell, I’ve even built up my whiteboard schedule again! It was a much-needed vacation, but now I need to get back to work. I’ve only got the barest of plans (which to be honest is kind of par for the course for me anyway), but I have the drive and the goals again. And that’s enough for now. That’s all that’s needed.

I don’t know what I’ll be working on next, other than doing the non-creative parts of Getting a Novel Out Into the World for Diwa & Kaffi, but as soon as I know, you’ll most likely be hearing about it here. In the meantime, I’m returning to the blogosphere with both Welcome to Bridgetown and Walk in Silence — same schedules for both — and I’m really looking forward to it all.

Doing the best I can
With or without a plan, I’m taking what I can get
I haven’t seen nothing yet
If one day you wake up and find what you make up
Come and get me, come and take me there

Still Here

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Source: BeaStars

It’s been what, nearly three months since I’ve posted here? I posted a fly-by over at Walk in Silence not that long ago, but other than that I’ve been keeping quiet. Continuing with the job search, keeping occupied with light projects and reading, and running errands. Staying safe.

I could say I’ve been busy planning my next project, or I could say I’ve been doing research, but I’ll be honest, I haven’t been been doing much of anything creative at all. That was kind of by design, however. I desperately needed the break.

It was probably long overdue, come to think of it. I’d been angry and exhausted for months. The successful writing processes and habits I’d set up years ago were no longer working, and the more I tried to push to make them work again, the more frustrated I became. It had ceased to be enjoyable. It was a combination of a lot of things: Day Job frustration, lack of time, lack of new ideas, lack of interest, and too much repetition.

Other than following through with the post-production of Diwa & Kaffi, I decided to stop everything temporarily. The daily words, new novel projects, the blogs, even the daily personal journal. It was time to deal with Real Life stuff: leaving the Day Job of fourteen years, searching for new employment, staying healthy and avoiding COVID-19, and flushing out some old personal demons that were still kicking around. One month off has turned into multiple months, but this decision remains a positive one. Most of the heavy stress and frustration I was feeling earlier this year is almost completely gone.

I’m returning to some of these creative habits and processes again, but I’m purposely not tying them down into daily/weekly habits. I’ve taken the focus away from completion and competition and refocused on the creativity itself, where it’s supposed to be.

So. Am I working on anything right now? As a matter of fact, I am! Over the last few weeks I’ve been doing yet another reread of the Bridgetown Trilogy, for the sole reason that I’m revisiting that world for Book 4 in the Mendaihu Universe! [There may also be a secondary reason, in which Our Intrepid Author decides that maybe the trilogy needs a new re-edit and may work on this as a long-game side project.] I’m also working on an idea to gather the flash fiction I’ve written for the College Campus/D&K universe into a self-published collection. The waystation idea I’d come up with at the beginning of the year is still gestating at this point, so I’ll most likely get to that one if and when I have the time and inclination.

Will I return to blogging? Yes! Although I’m not sure how and when. Before I left the Day Job, I’d found a workable process in which I used 750 Words to write up rough drafts for these blog entries, so I may utilize that or something similar to it when I decide to fully return. I’ve wanted to revamp both blogs for a while now, and I’d like to focus a bit on that first before anything else.

In the meantime, stay safe, stay healthy, and keep reading and writing!

New Year, New Plans

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When I made my unceremonious return to the office for the Day Job, I gave myself a month. I’ve done this in the past; life throws me a curve ball that I can’t avoid no matter how hard I try. I’ll be angry and frustrated and be stuck in that feedback loop. But I’ll give myself a month to Just Get Over It.

Mind you, it’s not the same as giving up. I’m still angry about the situation and I’m still making alternate plans. But I’m not giving in. I am not making do. In fact, I’m making the best of a frustrating situation. To wit:

–I’d forgotten what it felt like to have a car commute. When was the last time I had to drive to my job? That would be the temp jobs back in 2005. (I had office jobs in 2006-2014 or so, but I could get to those via public transit.) This reminded me of a few things: how to head out early so I had a cushion of time before logging in; how to find alternate routes; how to utilize the drive time creatively. I spent most of December relearning a lot of that.

–I might be getting home anywhere between 5pm and 6pm (and believe you me, I hate the latter), but I can still work on the laptop while hanging out with A in the living room after dinner. And I still have the weekends to do things.

–I found ways to best use my time for creative endeavors, even on company time. I can write longhand (journal and poetry), my daily words (as of this moment, I can access 750 Words on my work laptop and this makes me so blissfully happy right now), and considering that I’m stuck in a cubicle without all the distractions of Spare Oom, I’m actually forced to not goof off.

–I have multiple mp3 players to keep me entertained when need be, and a lunch and two breaks if I feel the need to surf social media.

So what does this all mean? This means that I’ve realized that my situation is nowhere as dire as I was making it out to be. I spent that month getting that frustration and flailing out of my system, and spent the entirety of December thinking okay, how can I make the best out of all this?

This means that I’m going to continue with the writing schedule that worked so well for me over the last few years. Walk in Silence will be posting Tuesdays and Thursdays again, and Welcome to Bridgetown will be posting Mondays and Fridays again. I’ll be doing my daily words Monday through Friday.

Do I have any specific projects I’ll be working on? I’ve a few, but I’m holding them close right now. I’ll reveal them when the time is right. I can say that I’ll be submitting Diwa & Kaffi to publishers in the next few weeks, however, and I’m really looking forward to that particular project. It’s been too long and I think it’s time. I’m ready for it.

It’s 2020, and I know what I need to do.

Coming Attractions

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*muffled lo-fi jazz instrumental in bg*

I’ve been doing a rethink of a lot of things lately, both personal, creative and otherwise. And lately I’ve been thinking about changing up my blogs here a bit. They’ve both had the same theme and the same layout for years, and I think it’s time that I gave them a proper update. I’m totally fine with my current schedules for them, so that won’t change.

Does that mean a change in subject matter? Maybe…Welcome to Bridgetown will still be my official author blog and Walk in Silence will still be my music blog…but I think I’ve already said a lot of what I’d wanted to say here on the intertubes to the point where I’m repeating myself now. I’d like to expand my horizons a bit, as it were.

So — when is this going to take place? Good question. No idea, but you’ll know when I have a more solid and detailed plan for all this. Posting WIP snippets? Longer or multi-part entries? Personal entries? Book reviews? It’s all up in the air at the moment, but I’ll definitely let you know more as it comes.

See you soon!