Category: On Inspiration

The Matrix and the Mendaihu Universes

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The Matrix Resurrections, the fourth in the series, came out at the height of the pandemic, released both in theaters and streaming on HBO Max at the same time. It was kind of a weird time for all involved, of course, and while the film didn’t come close to being a financial success (mostly due to said dual release), it did feel like the start of a new chapter. And to be honest, it did kind of make me rethink how I was going to approach the fourth book in the Mendaihu Universe if I was going to write it.

We watched all four in order at that time, as A hadn’t seen movies two or three and I hadn’t seen any of them in ages, and one thing that stuck with me is that they were bigger and stronger influences on my trilogy than I’d remembered. It all lines up: the first movie opened in March of 1999, right about the time I’d been thinking about reworking The Phoenix Effect into what would become A Division of Souls. The second and third movies, The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions, would come out in May and November 2003, right about the time I was working on The Persistence of Memories. I especially appreciated that the side-story anthology The Animatrix came out between those two in June 2003, expanding the universe even more, creating more lore that didn’t exactly tie in with Neo’s story.

I think one of the biggest influences on the Bridgetown Trilogy is in fact the expansion of Neo’s story from the original film to its conclusion. I liked that the second and third movies took what had happened in the first — Neo’s awakening into a rebel fighter against the Matrix and its Agents — and expanded on that. Primarily, asking the question: now that you have the power, what are you going to do with it? That soon became Denni’s personal mantra throughout the Bridgetown Trilogy as well; she was well aware of what she could do, so her own conflict was deciding what she should do.

There are other moments, of course. Not gonna lie, the leather duster and the form-fitting uniform of the Mendaihu Elder is definitely a sly wink at Neo and Trinity’s get-up throughout their own series. Little things like levitation and the ability to wield Light came from direct influence as well. I made them my own by thinking about what this kind of action or ability would look like in my own created universe, and expanding from there.

Back to Resurrections, I would say that movie helped me think more about how to frame the fourth book in the Mendaihu Universe. Again, there’s direct inspiration: Resurrections explores life within the Matrix years later, when Neo has become a distorted myth and its believers have forgotten the true history. While the movie focuses on Neo’s rebirth and Trinity’s reawakening, I plan on having MU4 focus on the myth: what happens when belief in the One of All Sacred evolves and becomes a weapon itself. I had the beginnings of that particular idea after I’d released The Balance of Light, but watching Resurrections helped sharpen that idea into something I could expand upon.

Right now, I’m focusing mostly on Theadia, so this one might not arrive until maybe 2027, but we shall see. I’ve got time and I’ve still got the influences and inspirations to work with.

Future inspiration

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A lot of my non-writing things have definitely fallen by the wayside over the years, and I always wish I could return to that. I often complain about that here. And at the end of every year, I make some vague plan to try to do better at it, but never quite follow through. I’ll try for a few days and hit nothing but frustration, and let it go soon after

This year, however, I’ve come to the conclusion that the issue here isn’t quite about being consistent with the whiteboard schedule. I can easily follow that if I put my mind to it; I’ve done it countless times in the past. But sometimes just DO the thing doesn’t quite cut it.

This year I realized that I haven’t been inspired to do it. Think about it: why am I rarely picking up my guitars these days? It’s partly because I’m playing the same damn riffs and bass lines over and over, like I have for the last several years. The last major change I had was when I was doing the Blogging the Beatles and as a side project I taught myself some of their songs, and in the process I learned a few new tricks. But since then I’ll pick it up, play those same songs yet again, then put it down soon after. I’m not trying to be a semi-professional at it like I am with my writing, of course. I just want to expand my repertoire.

The same could be said with my artwork. I do miss doing that a lot, but again: the inspiration is eluding me. It’s been ages since I’ve broken out my pens, pencils and art notebooks, and I think it’s mainly for the same reasons: I keep drawing the same damn things and not trying anything new. Hell, I even miss drawing my maps, but I always end up drawing the same setting over and over!

And let’s be honest, the same could actually be said with my writing as well: I haven’t allowed myself to be inspired to try new fiction projects in a while, either. These last few years have been about finishing the active ones. But with this particular avenue I’ve made some inroads: I’ve been forcing myself to expand my reading habits again. And not just reading more, but leaning heavily on novels that have given me that wonderful I would LOVE to write something like this feeling, which can sometimes be a rare event. And in order to do that, I have to actively look for these books and try them out, whether it’s through trying out a chapter at a bookstore, purchasing them, or borrowing them through Hoopla.

But most importantly, I have to remember this about inspiration: it doesn’t always need to be mind-blowing, heart-moving and earth-shattering. Diwa & Kaffi wasn’t just about me writing a hopepunk story, it was also about me training myself to appreciate the smaller, quieter things in life. Same with me grabbing those Zen-a-Day desk calendars. I must remind myself that it doesn’t always have to resonate so incredibly deep. I swear this comes from being a Gen-X film student in the 90s and soaking in every media outlet that embraced Michael Bay levels of epic action and drama. For years my intake was dialed to 11…and it’s taken me years to unravel myself from that habit. This is precisely why one of my favorite movies of 2023 was Wim Wenders’ meditational Perfect Days, because this was the balance I needed to aim for.

So if anything, if I’m to look for future inspiration, I need to remember to look for the quiet as well as the loud. Whatever resonates the most.

Paying It Forward — Thanks to Holly Lisle

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Sad to hear about the passing of author Holly Lisle the other day. She was one of my first inspirations and influences within the SFF genre, having read The Secret Texts trilogy in the late 90s, right about the same time that I was writing and revising The Phoenix Effect, which of course morphed into the Bridgetown Trilogy.

I remember seeing something in the acknowledgement pages of those books that intrigued me: she’d created what was essentially a BBS forum called Forward Motion, a smallish but very active online writing community. They — including Holly — were extremely welcoming, and being a member helped me figure out what I was trying to do with the Mendaihu Universe. I even had a few people beta read some of it at the time. I spent a lot of time at the Forward Motion site during the Belfry years, especially on the days we had ‘word wars’ — we’d all say, okay, let’s see how many words we can hit starting NOW! as a way to get ourselves geared up and excited about the projects we were working on. I’d pop into chat rooms just to see who was around…and often there would be someone asking a question or needing help, and we’d all chip in and offer advice. I got some great advice on my trilogy; one in particular that I remember is that I’d been stuck on a name for a certain character, and a few people suggested his name sound sibilant and harsh to fit his personality. Together we came up with a rather interesting name, and some years later during revision, it was shortened to Saisshalé.

I’d moved away from the FM site when I moved out to San Francisco, though to this day I still talk with a few people I met there. We still talk online and I’ve even met a few in person!

Holly stepped away from FM sometime in the early 00s if I’m not mistaken to focus on writing and teaching, but I never forgot how much that community helped me. It wasn’t just about the help, though — one of Holly’s mottos was ‘paying it forward’ and I certainly did that over the years, offering to beta read for others, and later on giving what information and suggestions I could about self-publishing during local conventions. I never forgot that either.

Thank you, Holly. Your influence as a writer may not have fully been through your writing, but your sense of community certainly stayed with me all these years.

Catching up on reading

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My bedside reading pile looks a little less ominous these days as I’ve thinned it out a little bit, finally finishing up some titles and getting rid of others that didn’t quite work for me. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been rereading a few books by favorite authors in preparation to read a newer title in the same universe that I haven’t gotten to yet.

Recently I’ve finished Karen Lord’s The Best of All Possible Worlds and The Galaxy Game in preparation to start reading the third in the Cygnus Beta series, The Blue, Beautiful World. I’d read them way back in the summer of 2015, and though I clearly remember loving the books, it seems I’d forgotten why, until reading them again. The style is very much in my wheelhouse, and must have inspired or influenced me in some way, as the books’ style is very similar to mine. I read these right about the same time I’d been working on self-publishing the Bridgetown Trilogy, so I must have been looking for something to inspire my future projects.

There’s also the fact that with age and maturity (even within the last decade), I hadn’t noticed just how brilliant the setting is: it’s a story regarding a dying planet that could have been grimdark and dystopian…but wasn’t. It’s about what happens to the survivors, learning to live and adjust to new planets and new cultures, and focuses on a group of people dedicated to ensuring this emigration is successful. It’s actually kind of hopeful without quite being hopepunk.

This, by the way, is similar to the setting of my current WIP Theadia: a story regarding a possible incoming war between galactic sectors…but isn’t merely about the war itself. It’s about what happens to those about to be affected by it, and focuses on a group of people dedicated to ensuring the damage is minimal. Purely coincidental, by the way, considering I hadn’t reread the two books in nearly a decade, but on the other hand, I’m kind of secretly thrilled that I feel like I’m pulling it off. Rereading this series basically said to me, yeah, you can write this kind of thing and get away with it.

My next reread will be Lavie Tidhar’s Central Station which I remember really liking as well, followed up by his recent book Neom, which takes place in the same universe. I was especially drawn to the first book with its origins as separate shorter stories that ended up telling one larger story, and that in itself inspired me to want to someday write a novel with a similar setup. My sometimes-trunked, sometimes-not project Can’t Find My Way Home briefly had a new life back in 2017, partly inspired by that.

So in short, what I’m thinking is this: perhaps it’s time for me to do some more serious catching up on reading, because obviously I’m finally being reminded where my inspirations and influences come from, and maybe find something new in the process!

Weekend plans

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Tomorrow we’re going around the corner to the 4 Star Theater to see a movie I saw and fell in love with when I was nine. It’s a roller disco movie that features Olivia Newton-John, Michael Beck and Gene Kelly. And yes, it’s the one that features Electric Light Orchestra on the soundtrack.

Yes, we’re going to go see Xanadu, the movie that I was obsessed with in fourth grade. I even had the Marvel comic book (which you can see here in all its 80s glory) and can still remember my teacher’s voice telling me to put it away whenever I had it out in class during free time. And years later it was one of the inspirations for my novel In My Blue World.

So why do I love it so? Even though it’s got terrible dialogue, the weakest of plots, special effects and costumes very much of their time, many of the Berkeley-esque dance sequences were shot wrong, and a prime example of ‘too many producers and writers wanting different things out of it’? Oh, and apparently it inspired the Golden Raspberry Awards?

I think it’s partly because for all its problems, it mimics the style of the classic musicals a hell of a lot better than you’d expect. It’s supposed to be corny. There aren’t too many deep emotions going on other than goggle-eyed love at first sight and wistful melancholia of the past. It’s a silly feel-good movie. It even has a Don Bluth animation sequence! And it has a damn fine soundtrack after all. [I mean, where else will you hear a duet between Olivia and…The Tubes?]

And hey, in 2007 they even made it into a successful Broadway hit musical!

What Your Soul Sings

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Massive Attack’s 100th Window came out in early 2003 when I was writing The Persistence of Memories, and the track “What Your Soul Sings” was the standout track for me; it was the first time I’d heard Sinéad O’Connor’s voice in some time, even though she’d been dropping albums here and there.

The message of the song — listen to and trust your inner self, it knows what it needs and wants — resonated deeply for me, and it became one of the most important central themes of not just TPoM but the entire trilogy. It’s what keeps Denni from faltering and doubting herself. It’s what keeps Caren moving even when she feels lost. It’s what keeps Poe focused on what he truly believes in. Every character learns that their true anchor, what keeps them from spiraling into chaos and doubt, is the calm soul within.

Even today I keep it as a sort of personal mantra, one I occasionally need to remind myself of: follow what makes your soul sing.

Thank you for the music and the vision, Sinéad.

Don’t be afraid
Open your mouth to say
Say what your soul sings to you

Writing inspiration: John Lennon

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I picked up John Lennon’s Skywriting By Word of Mouth not that long after it came out in the mid-80s, probably sometime around the start of my junior year in high school. It was a collection of his post-Beatle writings mainly composed during his five-year hiatus in the late 70s. Some of it was autobiographical, but a considerable part of it (such as the above) was in his classic absurdist style, and I was immediately drawn to that. I was a kid that loved puns and wordplay, and I was immediately drawn to its stream of conscious humor and weirdness. I loved the idea of utterly random phrases woven together by shared words and homophones.

This in turn inspired me to write such things in a similar vein, my own versions written on the school computers (we had Apple IIcs in the computer lab, where I wrote this sort of stuff when I wasn’t playing Lemonade Stand or Jungle Hunt when I should have been doing homework). I think part of it was the need to find another creative avenue after multiple years stuck in the Infamous War Novel, and a need to just have fun. My version of this nonsense verse was heavy with music references (“sunshine in the shade and drink their lemonade when the sun shine my shoestring on my guitar”) and written under the nom de plume Johannes Brezhnev, with the title Oy Vay. [I don’t entirely remember why I latched onto that Yiddish phrase, though it may have been used in a then-recent Bloom County strip, of which I was a huge fan.]

I still have the original printouts! I haven’t read them in years, so I’m sure some of them have not aged very well at all — after all, this is part of my juvenilia pile — but every now and again I bring back that style just for funsies. When I’m a hundred or so words short doing my 750 Words and have nothing of import to write, I’ll bring the style back out (I now refer to them as “wibblies” because why not).

It’s nonsense verse and serves no purpose, but it’s a lot of fun to write!

Experienced

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Jimi Hendrix with Are you Experienced from Rock Without Rules on Vimeo.

So one of my latest assignments for the Current Day Job is bookkeeping duties. Basically being trained on prepping the registers, balancing the safe, and other money-related things. I definitely have experience in this from my last years at HMV, being left in charge of opening/closing, balancing, depositing and all that fun stuff, so I’d let them know this when I was interviewed. I figured it would give me an extra in when they hired me.

I’ve been at the new place for a bit over two months, and I’ve already retained all my old retail and warehouse job experience into this new one, making everything easy and fun. I’ve already got multiple compliments on my bagging skills, and it’s not just because I do my own when I’m doing the shopping — my style is very much like how I used to build my pallets back at Yankee Candle, getting as many items into a finite space as I can yet still being safe about it. [It really is a bit like Tetris, and it’s kind of fun to look ahead at the shapes/items and put them together in my head.] And thanks to watching Gardener’s World and all those cooking shows during the pandemic, I’m even having some fun conversations about herbs, plants and ingredients as well.

Reason I bring this up is that in these same last couple of months, it dawned on me that perhaps I don’t nearly use that sort of thing with the characters in my stories as much as I really should. I’d like to think my characters are no longer the one-note self-inserts of yore, but after so many years being in an enclosed office setting with the same couple dozen people, I’d kind of lost touch with what other people were like. [Mind you, I don’t use social media for this sort of thing too often, for many and obvious reasons.]

What kind of experience do I have with people? I mean, in real life? I have a lot, it’s just that I’ve kind of lost touch with it for the last decade and a half. The Current Day Job has definitely changed that. I meet regulars, but I also meet the tourists, the late-nighters, the teens, the business people, the homeless, the well-off, and everyone else. And I’m really enjoying that sort of thing. Like I said recently, it’s reminding me that there’s a world outside. A world that’s not on Facebook or Twitter, a world that’s not crunching numbers, a world that’s not trying to save or ruin things. Just…people out there.

And it feels really great to experience that again.

When movies make me rethink my writing

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Image courtesy of Everything Everywhere All at Once

First of all: the new Michelle Yeoh movie, Everything Everywhere All at Once is coming out in wide release this coming Friday, and I recommend you go see it. It’s absolutely amazing, hilarious, and maybe more than a bit WTF did I just watch, but it’s one of the best films I’ve seen in a while. It’s very hard to describe what it’s about other than that Yeoh’s character is a hard-working and utterly stressed out mom just trying to keep things from falling apart…and things do start falling apart, just not how you’d expect. Just…trust me and go see it.

So. What I meant to say here is that every now and again I’ll see a movie that makes me rethink my own work, whether it’s the style, or the way it unfolds. Often times its unique way of telling a story will inspire me to see my WIPs from a different angle. And, most of all, there are certain films like the above where I can “see the math of it” (as I like to say) — as a writer, I’m intrigued and often blown away by how the filmmakers have used different details, shots, edits, formats, and maybe even colors or angles, to tell the story in a specific way. They’ve allowed me to see how all the different threads of the plot, visuals and dialogue weave together to make a wonderful tapestry. Not every film does that to such a conscious degree, but when they do, those are the ones that have always made me want to run straight home, fire up Word and start writing my own.

When we left the screening of Everything Everywhere there were two things that stuck in my mind: one, I totally want to see this again to pick up everything I missed, and two, I totally want to see this again so I can study it. [Three, if you want to include I love the fact that I just spent half the movie laughing and the other half shaking my head in amused bafflement.] This film was so original and clever with its unraveling of cinematic and literary expectations that you almost don’t notice that it re-ravels them back together in an altogether new and unexpected way.

There aren’t too many films and filmmakers that will achieve that sort of unique creation that will resonate that deeply with me. There are a few anime directors that have done that — Satoshi Kon and Makoto Shinkai are but two — but American filmmakers? Not that many will make that kind of film that will just hit me like that.

And yes, I did in fact work on Theadia after we got home. Heh.

Autumnal

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A and I were walking up to the Clement Street Farmer’s Market yesterday and she’d noted that the weather felt quite autumnal: clear, bright, and cold. Of course, our weather here in the Richmond District rarely gets truly autumnal. Depending on the fronts coming in, some days it’ll be clear and chilly, other days it’ll be forever overcast and damp.

I still miss autumns in New England, to tell the truth. I miss the chilly mornings driving into work with a large coffee to warm me up. I miss the back roads canopied with yellow, orange and red. I miss the quiet whispers of wind through the trees, helping the leaves fall.

These are the kinds of things I like peppering into my novels. In My Blue World‘s universe is New England-y, with several moments taking place in leaf-strewn woods, apple orchards and hilltop cabins at the start of the season. Meet the Lidwells! has the kids writing songs inspired by New England seasons. Diwa & Kaffi also sees the change of seasons as a passage of time and life. And even Queen Ophelia gets to experience weather changes as well. It’s my way of inserting some personal memories of autumnal moments. And I’m sure I’ll keep doing it with future stories as well.