Writing again…sort of

I think it’s time to start writing again. The itch to do so has been constant lately.

Even though I’m working on Theadia (and doing a soft-start for the remaster of The Persistence of Memories), I’ve been itching to just write something new. I’m not sure what just yet, and I’m not going to force it. That, and I’ve sort of resurrected some of my writing habits again — noting word count in the small black moleskine calendar notebook, for instance. I’m not doing it every day of course, I’m merely entering it every now and again when the thought and the temptation strikes.

I know I talk about this here every now and again, and I admit sometimes I’m like a broken record (a skipping cd? a corrupted FLAC?) but it’s been an ongoing process that needs constant adjustment and tweaking. We writers sometimes get all meta about our process and it’s usually because we’re trying to figure out why our processes are the way they are, why they sometimes no longer work, and what we need to do to change them. That kind of thing never ends, I’m afraid, but it’s something I’m used to at this point.

As always, it’s just a matter of doing it. Once I start, the rest comes easier.

That time of year again

It’s been a bit over three months since we moved into our New Digs, and things are finally settling and falling back into place. I might still have to remind myself that those month-end payments aren’t for rent anymore but mortgage, but other than that I’m happy that we’re here. We might be slightly further away from the shopping corridors but we’re two blocks from our community garden plot, a block away from a major bus route as well as a very large public park, and the neighborhood is thankfully much more peaceful. (Yes, even during recess for the kidlets at the school across the way.)

This is good timing, as it’s that time of year where I feel the need to change things up. And you know how I am in autumn: excited about the new music releases and contemplative about where I am and where I want to be. I’ve already made a lot of positive changes over the last few months — with room for improvement, of course — so it’s really just a matter of doing it at this point. Or not doing, depending on the situation. Some habits I find I just do not need nor want anymore. Some habits I’d like to revisit once more.

And what about writing? Well, the remaster of A Division of Souls is out and away, and I’m thinking of starting in on the remaster of The Persistence of Memories pretty soon. I’m also focusing on Theadia and it’s still looking good and on schedule for release sometime next year. But I can’t help but think: I’ve got a journal and a notebook gathering dust in my satchel right now, and my 750Words sign-in remains woefully ignored. I mean, I’ve worked on multiple stories at that same time before, so this is nothing new. I can certainly play around with writing extremely rough drafts of new ideas while spending most of my creative energies on the two main projects. And in the process, probably disconnect from a few IRL things that I don’t need to hyperfocus on.

And what better time to do it than during the season that works best for me?

The Matrix and the Mendaihu Universes

The Matrix Resurrections, the fourth in the series, came out at the height of the pandemic, released both in theaters and streaming on HBO Max at the same time. It was kind of a weird time for all involved, of course, and while the film didn’t come close to being a financial success (mostly due to said dual release), it did feel like the start of a new chapter. And to be honest, it did kind of make me rethink how I was going to approach the fourth book in the Mendaihu Universe if I was going to write it.

We watched all four in order at that time, as A hadn’t seen movies two or three and I hadn’t seen any of them in ages, and one thing that stuck with me is that they were bigger and stronger influences on my trilogy than I’d remembered. It all lines up: the first movie opened in March of 1999, right about the time I’d been thinking about reworking The Phoenix Effect into what would become A Division of Souls. The second and third movies, The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions, would come out in May and November 2003, right about the time I was working on The Persistence of Memories. I especially appreciated that the side-story anthology The Animatrix came out between those two in June 2003, expanding the universe even more, creating more lore that didn’t exactly tie in with Neo’s story.

I think one of the biggest influences on the Bridgetown Trilogy is in fact the expansion of Neo’s story from the original film to its conclusion. I liked that the second and third movies took what had happened in the first — Neo’s awakening into a rebel fighter against the Matrix and its Agents — and expanded on that. Primarily, asking the question: now that you have the power, what are you going to do with it? That soon became Denni’s personal mantra throughout the Bridgetown Trilogy as well; she was well aware of what she could do, so her own conflict was deciding what she should do.

There are other moments, of course. Not gonna lie, the leather duster and the form-fitting uniform of the Mendaihu Elder is definitely a sly wink at Neo and Trinity’s get-up throughout their own series. Little things like levitation and the ability to wield Light came from direct influence as well. I made them my own by thinking about what this kind of action or ability would look like in my own created universe, and expanding from there.

Back to Resurrections, I would say that movie helped me think more about how to frame the fourth book in the Mendaihu Universe. Again, there’s direct inspiration: Resurrections explores life within the Matrix years later, when Neo has become a distorted myth and its believers have forgotten the true history. While the movie focuses on Neo’s rebirth and Trinity’s reawakening, I plan on having MU4 focus on the myth: what happens when belief in the One of All Sacred evolves and becomes a weapon itself. I had the beginnings of that particular idea after I’d released The Balance of Light, but watching Resurrections helped sharpen that idea into something I could expand upon.

Right now, I’m focusing mostly on Theadia, so this one might not arrive until maybe 2027, but we shall see. I’ve got time and I’ve still got the influences and inspirations to work with.

Coming 2026

If you could…would you do the right thing?

Althea Gataki loves what she does, even when it drives her crazy. She works tech support in the communications field and knows all the ins and outs — and maybe some paths that aren’t entirely all that legal. She puts everything into her job, because she likes it done right the first time. She’s not afraid to take chances, especially when she finds answers where no one else dares. Her older brother is an ace military pilot, and she’s annoyed that he doesn’t write more often.

Claudia Beecham is an engineering wiz but works far below her status as a coding boffin for a vendor that creates communication devices, both public and military. She’s quiet and unassuming and she’d like to keep it that way so she doesn’t attract unneeded attention. She’s also one of those Beechams, part of a large extended family stretching across several levels of the FairIsle Space Force.

Althea and Claudia are lovers, huge nerds, avoiders of family drama, and owners of a ridiculous and sassy Maine coon cat named Grizelda. They’re both turning twenty and must soon make their Citizen Claim for FairIsle, deciding once and for all if they will become permanent stationsiders or planetsiders. And all they want is to spend their hard-earned vacation time relaxing and staying away from the chaos of FairIsle’s fiftieth annual Emancipation Day celebrations. Simple request, yes?

Not when your homeworld is on the verge of being re-invaded by that same federation it escaped those fifty years ago.

Theadia is the story of two young women coming to terms with an uncertain future. It’s the story of a young planet and its space station making a name for itself as a successful transportation hub in the local galaxy. It’s the story of friends and comrades realizing they cannot always depend on their leaders. It’s the story of one’s willingness to take dangerous chances, even when it could mean your job…or your life.

Theadia is the story of doing the right thing.

Almost there…

I am SO CLOSE to finishing this go-round of the Trilogy Remaster for A Division of Souls! I’m about twenty pages from the last one (this includes the original endnotes and whatnot), so that means I can give it yet one more read-through before prepping it for the planned September release. I’m almost never this ahead of schedule!

Speaking of, I’ve also been thinking of having a bit of fun with the tenth anniversary remaster here at the blog and possibly elsewhere. Sort of like when I celebrated the project’s twentieth anniversary back in March 2017 (for those curious, I started The Phoenix Effect in March 1997 which would become the trilogy a few years later). Posting things like outtakes, maps, drawings, stuff like that. Stay tuned!

But for now, the next step in my plan is to get it all ready to go early, that way I can get back to working on Theadia. That project needs a lot of attention I haven’t been able to give to it lately, so it’ll feel great to have that on the front burner once again. I admit I have a lot of vague plans for it and a few set-in-stone ones that I’d like to focus on. Most of you have read some of the outtakes here, but for the most part it’s a story I haven’t shared with anyone yet. I hope you enjoy it!

A fresh start

It’s been a couple of days since we settled into our new place, with nearly everything unpacked and put away. We’re still organizing as we go of course, but for the most part it’s all where it needs to be or at least close by. And both cats have been monitoring and supervising every step of the way.

I made the decision early on to keep a lot of my stuff down in the garage storage until further notice so as to not crowd everything in our now-shared office. This means that most of my notebooks, early writings, journals, and so on are down there, still easy to access but locked away. It occurred to me that I don’t need them immediately. Not to worry, they’re in closed plastic bins and out of harm’s way. [And besides, my juvenilia has definitely seen worse storage times.] Whenever I finally get around to restarting the scanning project, they’ll be ready to go.

In the midst of all this, I realized that this gives me the opportunity for a completely fresh start here in the new office. When you’re living in the same place for over fifteen years, it’s kind of hard to go cold turkey on some of the habits and processes you’ve become so used to. So instead of trying to find where I left off with all of that journaling and longhand writing and so on, I’m just going to start a new moleskine notebook. Spend a little more time just enjoying listening to music instead of obsessively collecting and organizing it. Pick up those art supplies and have some fun during downtime. And most importantly, instead of finding a place to put up my whiteboard schedule (and not wanting to damage these pristine walls on day one), I’m just going to try my hand at working without one.

This doesn’t mean abandoning my two current projects, of course. I’ll need to pick up where I left off with the Trilogy Remaster, and I still need to finish off Theadia and start in on its revision and eventual publication. Those two have been at the front of my mind ever since we started this whole moving house chaos two months ago. Give me a day or so and I should be back on track!

Do I know where I’m going to go from here? Not entirely…but I’d like to think that’s a good thing. I’ve given myself a clean slate as it were, and I definitely need to allow myself to experience those more often.

Deep dive

That’s what I’ve been calling it lately: the process I used when originally writing the Bridgetown Trilogy. And it all started because I felt I hadn’t gone far enough with The Phoenix Effect.

By the time I was writing True Faith in 1995, I felt I at least had gotten the hang of the science fiction genre, and had gotten even further two years later with TPE, but at the same time I knew there was something wrong. There didn’t seem to be any issue with the universe I was creating, and I definitely felt that writing dialogue was one of my stronger creative traits…but it still felt off.

It didn’t take me long to figure out that it was the prose itself.

The problem was that my novel didn’t sound like one. It sounded more like an extremely detailed outline. And that had always been a problem with my work then…I thought I had some really neat ideas, but I was definitely failing in the execution of them. There was plenty of action, but my novel read more like a descriptive ‘A happens, B reacts, C happens, D causes a shift, etc.’ and less of an actual story. I resonated deeply with this tale about underground hackers, spiritual magic and otherworldly kinship…but none of that resonance was coming through at all.

So by 2001 or so, while working on TPE‘s revision and slogging my way through its sequel and getting nowhere, I realized that I needed to do something about it. I wanted to do better. I needed to do better. So one afternoon I decided I was going to completely rewrite it. I mean, start from scratch. Tell the whole dang story from Nehalé’s awakening ritual to the end, and do it right.

The only way I knew how to do this at the time was to do a deep dive. Instead of writing in that old outline style, I was going to make damn sure that every single scene resonated with me. It was a bit like method acting, to be honest: become the novel. Figure out why Nehalé did what he did. Understand the actions and reactions of Caren and Poe and everyone else. And don’t just be flippant about it; those actions and reactions were also part of the story, because it was who they were, and the consequences of their actions were also part of it.

By the time I’d gotten about five or six chapters in on this new version, I’d realized I’d only gotten through maybe two chapters of The Phoenix Effect, and this was EXACTLY what I’d been aiming for. So I just kept going, and eventually wrote myself an almost complete trilogy by the spring of 2005.

*

I bring this up now for two reasons:

One, after completing and self-publishing the Bridgetown Trilogy, I knew I had more to learn. I could definitely write doorstop epic novels at that point, now I wanted to prove to myself that I could ‘write econo’ (hat tip to The Minutemen, heh), so I started writing much shorter standalones. I’m quite proud of them all, especially Diwa & Kaffi, which I still feel is my best book to date. Even despite the urge to write the fourth book in the Mendaihu Universe, I wanted to stick with shorter works until I felt confident enough.

Two, it was the writing of the still-unfinished Theadia that made me realize that perhaps I was ready to do another one of those deep dives. This is another book I resonate deeply with…and like the trilogy, another book I feel isn’t quite there yet because it too needs a deep dive. Over the course of 2024 I tried the rewrite method, but somehow it still doesn’t feel complete yet. I still haven’t gone deep enough.

Fast forward to January 2025 and I’m focusing on the Trilogy Remaster and also revisiting the several sounds and words that surrounded its original writing, and I’m struck by another resonance that I’d almost forgotten about: this was how deep I’d gone with the trilogy! It had become a part of my life then, socially and creatively, and I loved every minute of it, and that was something that had been missing from my writing life for far too long, even before the revival of the trilogy in 2009.

As I’d mentioned briefly in last week’s blog entry, I feel I’ve come full circle, having learned several things along the way, and now I’m ready to cast the anchor and say this is where I belong. This is the style I love the most, yet it’s a style I haven’t allowed myself to return to. Or more to the point, I’d almost completely forgotten how to get back there in the first place, and it took several things falling perfectly into place for it to return.

Does this mean that my future novels are going to be epic in length? I can’t answer that because other than MU4 and Theadia, I don’t know where my next ideas might come from. But I can safely say that those two projects, at least, will be a return to the deep dive.

Ready?

Image courtesy of Suzume

Am I ready for 2025? I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be, I think. Despite whatever nonsense might come my way, despite whatever drama or world event might unfold, I’m ready for it. I’m not expecting everything to be sunshine and roses, but I certainly don’t want to enter the new year afraid. That’s not who I am anymore.

This past year has been a lot about achieving clarity, but it’s also been about allowances. Allowing myself to do the things I want and need to do, both creatively and personally, with no strings attached. I shouldn’t have to feel the guilt, or the fear, or the dread of the outcome, whether actual or imagined. So I feel that the next year should be about taking those steps of my own free will.

I’ve probably overthought any writing plans I have for the new year, and over the last week or so I’ve been unraveling myself from much of it. Overplanning has been my method of procrastination in the past, and I’ve been unlearning that particular habit recently. What plans I do have: I have Theadia to finish and publish, MU4 to start, and the tenth anniversary edition of A Division of Souls to clean up and prep for release. And that’s pretty much it. Whether I’ll try new projects, or focus on other creative outlets, who knows. If it happens, it happens.

It’s time to be a little fearless.

Post-Thanksgiving Wind-Down

Winding down, you ask? When the Christmas season is kicking into high gear? Well, yes. It might be crazy busy at the Day Job, but on a personal level, it’s time for me to wrap things up, take stock in the year to date, and think about what I’m going to do the following year. And it’s certainly been a bit of a strange year for me for varying reasons. Not necessarily in a bad way, but it’s definitely made me rethink a lot of things.

In working on this hopefully successful draft of Theadia, lately I’ve been comparing it to the days when I’d first started the project, way back in early 2020. Comparing the toxic-level stress I’d felt at the Former Day Job with the temporary exhaustion but shockingly minimal stress I feel at the current one. The managers I had then and the customers I worked with at the time versus the ones I have now. Two completely different lives. And those two years spent unemployed and working on a long overdue rewiring of my brain. All of that has definitely influenced my writing in certain ways.

I no longer worry about running out of ideas like I did then. Sometimes the stories come to me with unexpected inspiration — like Queen Ophelia’s War — and sometimes they’re something I have to actively work out from a much smaller piece of an idea. I very rarely try to force myself to write something new. I still need to relearn how to use my writing as something fun that I could work on at the 750Words site, but that’s something I’ll plan out in the new year.

In the meantime, I’ll be spending the next month taking stock in what I’ve done this year, continuing with the Theadia project, and deciding what I’ll be working on next.

Darkness and Light

So on Sunday morning as I was lying in bed, having just woken but too lazy to get up and feed the cats just yet, I started thinking about a new way to approach writing MU4. I’ve written at least three or four different openings, and yet none of them felt quite right. The current one is close to what I need…but the scene itself happens way too early in the story. I needed something to build up to that.

The good thing about lying there and letting my thoughts quietly meander for a bit is that I wasn’t trying so hard to figure it out this time. And that’s when it occurred to me: I needed to return to the original theme of the trilogy in order to move forward. That theme, of course, was balance. One character playing the role of spiritual balance to another. One action balancing out another. One dwelling in darkness, the other in light. This story focuses more on internal balances than spiritual or religious ones, even though those two still play an important part in the Mendaihu Universe.

The focus here, then, is on my two main characters: one whose life is chaos and wishes for order, and one whose life is rigid order and wishes for freedom. Both have a common goal of mental, emotional and spiritual balance, even though they’re coming from complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Which of course inspires the same question I had for Denni and Saisshalé in the trilogy: what is the red string that bonds them together? Are they enemies or are they allies? Are they bound to negate each other’s strengths, or are they to work together to become even stronger?

The good thing about this, even as I lay there with one cat staring impatiently at me and my brain in dire need of caffeine, is that this has gotten me even closer to the story I want to tell here. And that’s what I’ve been waiting for. All I need to do is start it.