Sure, I’ll reread my own work, whether it’s completed and self-published, incomplete and on the backburner, or trunked and best forgotten. I do it rather often, actually, and for various reasons. Since releasing Diwa & Kaffi out into the world, I gave that one yet another once-over, just to see how it looks in epub format. [Quite nice, actually.] After that I reread In My Blue World with the idea of toying with the possibility of writing its sequel. And now I’m rereading what I have of Queen Ophelia (which, now that I think about it, should really be titled Queen Ophelia’s War if I’m going to keep the title at all). I plan to reread Theadia after that.
I’m rereading these three to decide which project I should work on next while also working on MU4. I’m still undecided as to which one to tackle so I’m refamiliarizing myself with the stories to see which one resonates with me the most. Sure, I could come up with a completely new idea if I wanted, but I’m holding back on that because I feel these still have merit, even if they do need a hell of a lot of work.
And that’s the other reason for the rereads: how much work do they need, and is it worth spending the time? I don’t think any of them need a major overhaul, thankfully, and the newer ideas just need their outlines fleshed out and the stories written. I don’t count MU4 here, because that’s in an altogether different beast; when I have the time I’ll reread the original trilogy and what I have of 4 because that particular project needs a different kind of immersion.
It’s a lot of work and it surely eats into my GoodReads numbers, but I’ve found that this is part of a larger process that works really well for my projects — it’s just enough immersion into the created world so that I can easily slide back into it and move forward.
Okay, I really need to get back to writing MU4 and thinking about other projects, now that Diwa & Kaffi is out in the wild. I can certainly do my bit with self-promotion (such as it is) but right now I’m not writing anything at all, and that’s not going to get me back on my yearly release plan! I’ve got a few ideas in mind, finally a few days and some brain space to figure them out, so let’s get crackin’.
And hi, all of you who’ve been picking up my books this month from Smashwords! Glad you could join in! And thank you so much for choosing my novels for your e-reading pile! I hope you enjoy them! If you have any comments or questions regarding them, by all means feel free to drop them here!
Hi there! If you’ve come by because you’ve just picked up my new ebook Diwa & Kaffi, then you will no doubt be unsurprised that I in fact made a mixtape/playlist for the book! I’d posted this a short while ago, but I’d like to reshare this with the added commentary on each song and how they fit in with the novel itself. There’s a lot of love and hope in this mix, and I hope that it lifts you up as well.
1. The Sound of Arrows, “(Opening Titles)” 2. The Sound of Arrows, “Stay Free” These songs open the band’s Stay Free album, but in Diwa & Kaffi they would actually appear at the very end of the story — literally the very last scene — and would be used during the ‘ending credits’ montage of my imagined film version. I had the entire sequence played out in my head even before I’d gotten about halfway through writing the novel, so when I say I knew exactly how the story ended early on, I wasn’t kidding!
3. U2, “Get Out of Your Own Way” This is a universal theme of Diwa & Kaffi for every character: sometimes the core of your problems are within, and it’s up to you to find a way to solve them, or at least work past them. This was also a personal theme of mine while I was writing the novel.
4. Ra Ra Riot, “Water” This is a song that I think lends itself to the closeness of many characters in the book. Whether it’s familial, romantic or just simple adoration, there’s always the worry that others will take love the wrong way. I wanted this novel to be about love as something approachable and shapeable, and how freeing and wonderful it is to be allowed to do that.
5. Beck, “Dreams” I heard this track a lot during my Day Job hours and it became one of my favorites of his. I love the vibe of ‘nothing’s gonna tear me down’ and it fit perfectly with the themes of this novel. I can picture this being on the personal playlist of a few characters as well.
6. Elbow, “Firebrand & Angel” Elbow is one of my top favorite bands of the last twenty years and they never cease to amaze and inspire me. This song’s about a special relationship, and while I can see it being about Diwa and Kaffi, I actually see it more about Anna-Nassi and Cole; two oddballs that don’t fit the mold but have found each other.
7. Gang of Youths, “What Can I Do If the Fire Goes Out?” There are a few noisy tracks on here, and this is the kind of stuff Anna-Nassi would definitely listen to when on her own, late at night in her nestroom with headphones on and stereo loud. She’s an extremely emotionally driven character and this kind of track would definitely lift her spirits.
8. The Naked and Famous, “A Still Heart” On the other hand, I can see Kaffi listening to this kind of delicate music. He might be high-spirited especially when flying, but he’d also exude a Zen-like balance when he feels purely at peace with himself and his surroundings. Deep down, this is the kind of character he really is. I can see him thinking of Diwa when this song is on.
9. U2, “13 (There Is a Light)” This is another theme of Diwa & Kaffi: the deep and personal connections between people that go well past friendship and acquaintance. The ability to trust another person not just with their deepest emotions but with their life is certainly rare and worth protecting. You’ll see it between many of the characters in the novel.
10. Embrace, “Love Is a Basic Need” On the other hand, this is another view of that deep and personal connection: keeping and protecting that link with the person you love even though they might be so completely different from you in so many ways. Love isn’t always about finding the perfect match; it can also be about finding the needed match.
11. The Sound of Arrows, “Don’t Worry” In the movie version of this story in my head, this is the song that would play when Diwa and Kaffi are about embark on their first trip to Panooria alone. ‘Out of the nest and into the wild,’ as the mandossi saying goes. They might be nervous about doing something new and exciting for the first time, but they’re comforted by the fact that they’re doing it together.
12. Shame, “Friction” This is totally Anna-Nassi’s song. Noisy and irritable, just like the spirit within her. She can be her own worst enemy sometimes, especially when Cole’s not around.
13. Elbow, “One Day Like This” One of my all-time favorite songs, and one of the most uplifting and inspiring songs I’ve ever heard. I can be in the shittiest of moods (which I was at the time of writing the novel, nearing the end of my time with the Former Day Job) and yet I was able to find at least one thing that could lift my spirits immeasurably. This would be Diwa’s song as he learns just how important his three friends are to him.
14. GoGo Penguin, “Strid” This jazz band’s album A Humdrum Star had been getting heavy play on my PC during my writing sessions, and this one’s one of my favorite tracks from it. I’d consider it a sort of instrumental score for a tense and pivotal scene in the book when Diwa and Kaffi are faced with an unsettling situation, and all that they have to go on is instinct.
15. Eels, “There I Said It” Equally the goofiest and the most tender love song I’ve ever heard, this is totally Diwa and Kaffi’s theme. Their connection runs deep, and yet they’re still characters with embarrassing faults and mistakes and everything else. They’re not perfect, but they love each other anyway.
16. U2, “You’re the Best Thing About Me” And this would be Anna-Nassi and Cole’s theme. Their relationship is about completing and complementing each other, even though they couldn’t be more different from each other. Their connection runs deep as well, but in a very different way than our titular characters; they wouldn’t want to be with anyone else to make them happier because they’ve already found that happiness.
17. The Sound of Arrows, “Beautiful Life” This song is near the end of this mix, but this would actually be the opening theme; this sets the tone with the characters as well as with the setting. It also sets the mood of the novel: it’s not about going on a life-altering journey or a quest for honor or victory, but simply about knowing what you want and having the strength and conviction to reach for it with everything that you have. ‘Go and do what makes your heart sing,’ as the tintrite saying goes.
18. Love Tractor, “We All Loved Each Other So Much” An oldie but a goodie from 1987, it’s a wonderful indie rock instrumental jam that I love. I can hear this being played during the more uplifting moments of the novel. Even the title resonates with our four central characters: they do indeed love each other.
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Thanks again for reading and listening! I really hope you like Diwa & Kaffi!
So Diwa & Kaffi drops at the end of this week…and I’m already thinking of what I want to do next! I’m definitely feeling the positive rush that I felt when I released my previous ebooks, how having one new title out each year inspired me to keep doing what I love. Sure, taking a few years off for personal reasons was worth it (and much needed) but now that I’m back I really want to return to this schedule.
So what would I work on, you say? Would it be Theadia? Or maybe Queen Ophelia? A sequel to In My Blue World? Or something else kicking around? Or something completely new? [I mean, I do have that romcom idea as well…] Who knows? Either way, releasing this book has reminded me how much I loved self-publishing — even the hard parts like the revision and the cover layout and the formatting — I want to keep going!!
WHOOF. I spent most of Thursday afternoon prepping Diwa & Kaffi for its July 1 debut, and it took me a little longer than I expected! Formatting the manuscript itself wasn’t all that hard, though I’m clearly out of practice and had to fix a few embarrassing errors.
No, it was the cover that was the biggest pain in the butt! I’ll spare you the details other than that my photo editing apps were refusing to do what I wanted them to do. For now I’ve uploaded a slightly touched-up cover that I can deal with, but will most definitely upload a much better one when I have more time and brainspace for it.
But yeah, at this point the book is ready to go! I’m right chuffed that this book is finally about to be a reality!
In case you haven’t guessed already, I am planning a quick release of Diwa & Kaffi, preferably on 1 July to coincide with Smashwords’ annual summer sale. This gives me a little less than two weeks to a) finish the ‘temporary’ cover I’d started making the other day, and b) format the Word file to e-book form. Thankfully I can do both in that amount of time as I’m a quick worker and the novel has been completely revised, cleaned up and ready to go for a good few months now.
What inspired this surprise release? Sigur Rós, of all things. Last Thursday they’d popped onto their Instagram feed and simply said ‘oh hey we have our first new album in ten years coming out tomorrow, have fun’. On that very same day, I’d gotten an email from Smashwords about their summer sale, and realized this was a perfect time to send it out into the wild. I posted it in serialized form for my readers here a few months ago, but I felt it was far past time to share it with the rest of the world.
To be honest, I really miss the thrill of releasing e-books like this! My last one was In My Blue World in early 2019, so it’s been a four-year gap. [I’ve obviously been busy since then with writing and real life stuff, of course.] I’m looking forward to getting this one out to you in a couple of weeks! Stay tuned for updates and links!
I’ve been sitting on this novel a bit too long and I think it really needs to be released. I consider it one of my best works, and weirdly enough the only reason I’m still sitting on it is because I haven’t gotten around to researching and commissioning an artist to create what I’m seeing in my head for it. [For those curious, I’ve always pictured it in a light manga style, having the same kind of mood as one of Rumiko Takahashi’s Maison Ikkoku tankobon, featuring the two mains on the cover and the other two mains on the back. I’m thinking I may do that for a later edition.]
One thing of note: serendipitously, the curved apartment building in the picture is here in San Francisco and is the exact same building that inspired the Palm building in the novel! Did not expect that to happen when I went looking for pictures yesterday!
Either way, I’m planning on finally sending this one out into the wild VERY soon. Which means I’m back to playing around with Shutterstock’s library and PicMonkey’s platform. This is by no means the final version, of course. I need to tweak a number of things, including the color of the sky and the fonts for the title and byline.
What’s been going on, anyway? I’ve been working on the Theadia rewrite when I’m not at the Day Job, mostly. On days off I’ll catch up with some personal projects, or if they line up with A’s we’ll go out for a walk or burn through our British streaming shows. [For those playing along, we’ve been on a Silent Witness kick and it’s exciting but definitely not for the squeamish.] Other than that…? Not much at all.
I’ve been in kind of a rut in terms of actually producing content to self-publish. I mean, I’ve got Diwa & Kaffi ready to go, but I really need to get off my arse and look into commissioning an artist. I’ve got a few ideas that I want to sketch out first, however. If I’m going to work with an artist, I want to work with an artist, meaning that I’m willing to give them as much prep work and rough sketches as I can so they won’t be going in blind. Besides, I know exactly what I want: a simple yet engaging cover similar to what you see on some manga/light novels. Something like Rumiko Takahashi’s Maison Ikkoku, for example. I like the idea of using blank space on purpose here, to evoke the mood that it’s very much a light novel in some respects, as well as the fact that a lot of that novel is about being up in the air. I have a few artists in mind, I’ll just need to contact them and see if they’re interested or have the time.
Speaking of Theadia, I’ve also been thinking a bit about how this novel is not quite the Epic that the Bridgetown Trilogy was, but nor is it the lighter work I published afterwards. It’s a bit of both, really. The project goal is very much typical of me: writing a space opera without the military drama, writing an epic without turning everything up to eleven, writing a political drama without falling into my own navel. I even have the tagline, which is a line that’s quoted by many in the story: If you could…would you do the right thing? The novel isn’t about being a savior, it really is about doing the right thing when given the choice between taking ownership or saying ‘not my problem’. There are no heroes here, only normal people choosing to do the right thing because no one else is, and having that in itself be heroic.
It’s been a bit of a juggle, because I definitely need to have certain characters with certain levels of intelligence, power and experience, but purposely not having them get all infodumpy or technerdy about it. [I half-joke sometimes that I’m writing an anti-Cory Doctorow novel here, because I’m choosing not to go into graphic detail about the worlds of infotech, the dark web, and living off the grid. I give just enough detail for it to make sense, because that’s all it needs. I definitely owe Becky Chambers for the inspiration for wanting to take that route.] It’s been an enjoyable ride, though, and that’s all I ask.
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So. What’s my update schedule going to be here in the days ahead? Glad you asked! I’m going to try to return to the twice-a-week that I’ve had for the last couple of years, though there may be a gap or a late entry here and there, especially when Day Jobbery takes precedence.
Glad you’re sticking around, though! See you soon!
Character sheet for Diwa & Kaffi, drawn January 2021
Diwa & Kaffi, believe it or not, originally came from my attempt to revive a long-trunked story idea set at a college campus that featured nightmares and monsters. This new idea came about in August of 2017 in which I thought about reviving this weird idea by taking away the scary elements and turning it into a world where monsters and humans lived peacefully together. The college campus idea — inspired by my long-lasting love and obsession with college radio and alternative rock, of course — morphed into a multi-character, multi-story setting about flying dragonlike creatures with confidence issues, humans figuring out who they are, ghostlike characters trying to get equal acceptance in society, and so on. I’d been reading a lot of Becky Chambers and other hopepunk authors at the time and I thought that particular style would be perfect for this project. I wrote a lot of outtakes on the 750words site to figure out what their stories might be, and how I could thread them together.
It was a really fun if slightly unwieldy idea that I still have on the backburner, but out of all that came the decision that perhaps I should start smaller, more compact: what about two of those characters, a young human and his dragonlike best buddy with a shared plan to inherit their fathers’ positions at their apartment complex? I could do that.
Writing Diwa & Kaffi came at a time when I was doing some really serious and heavy rethinking about my life. I had a lot of Old Ghosts that, while they were no longer pushing me in directions I didn’t want to go in, I really needed to purge them out of my system once and for all. And I did not want to do that with my writing again. This was a personal change that I wanted to keep mostly personal. So instead of using yet another novel project as therapy, I used it as a guiding light instead: Diwa & Kaffi was the story about being true to myself — without outside influence or baked-in guilt, focusing only on what my heart longed for. The story of these two best friends is about working past those fears and obstacles. It’s about knowing and understanding what your desires are, and trusting and believing in yourself to reach for them. Even Anna-Nassi and Cole are part of this story: self-trust, self-belief, and learning to accept what you truly want.
I finished the first draft in early 2018, right about the time I was prepping Meet the Lidwells for self-publication, writing In My Blue World, and questioning why I was still at my then-current Day Job, not to mention working out some personal and emotional things I’d long ignored in my life to date. I felt a bit blown away, a bit empty and lost. Not entirely scared, just…unsure where to go next.
Writing Diwa & Kaffi affected me a hell of a lot more than I’d expected precisely because I’d chosen to use it to realign my own heart and mind. Unlike the many times in the past, I knew which direction I wanted to go in, I just had to start taking those steps. These two best friends were my way of saying to myself: Hey, it’s okay. You can be afraid and uncertain, but as long as you know exactly what you want and how you need to get to that point, then all you need is confidence to see it through.
Each of the major characters has a bit of me in them. Diwa is my younger self, bright-eyed and full of optimistic hope even despite my fears and self-doubt. Kaffi is my younger self’s ideal, more self-confident and more willing to take chances. Samuel is the adult me, having latched onto the past for a little too long to the point that I’d ensnared myself in it. Graymar is the other adult me, too stubborn in my self-comfort to really want to change when change is needed. Anna-Nassi is the nonconformist me who, in my mind, doesn’t give a shit about others think, but in my heart really does worry about that, far more than I was willing to admit. Cole is the self-conscious me, constantly worried about what others expect and think of me. These were all parts of me that I wanted to fix, that I wanted to change for the better.
I remember when I finished it and gave it a reread, I was absolutely shocked by how perfectly I’d nailed it. I could always see the imperfections of my previous novels (what author doesn’t feel this?), but this one turned out exactly how I’d wanted it. I’d leveled up in my work, which meant that I was now in uncharted territory once more, and that kind of threw me for a loop for a while.
Then came the pandemic. It came just as I’d sent out Diwa & Kaffi to the first of a list of agents — I believed in this one to the point that I thought it could work at a commercial publisher — and very quietly derailed my plans. And then came my leaving the then-current Day Job after fourteen years, for the most idiotic of reasons. Life upended. Not entirely out of my hands, but I was definitely in new territory here.
I put the novel aside and started working on newer projects, but I never put it out of my mind. I spent two unemployed years writing but also working on the other half of that self-improvement equation: making good on what I’d learned so far and refusing to be sidetracked or delayed this time.
I put Diwa & Kaffi aside as an ace in my pocket to be used later. When the publishing world somewhat realigned itself a while later, I sent it out again…but at that point I realized that didn’t quite feel right to me either. I mean, I’d love to be published by one of the major genre houses, but I don’t have to take that route, do I…?
I mean, I loved the experience of self-publishing with my last five released novels. I’ve always loved the DIY aspect; like I always say, it’s like I’m that punk band releasing that self-made single, doing it my own way. My books are not perfect but I still get the occasional e-book download for In My Blue World and A Division of Souls, so I must be doing something right, yeah? I can do this. I can see Diwa & Kaffi as the next step in my self-publishing career. I’m more confident in my writing, and in myself.
All I need to do is follow that desire. Pushing against the boundaries of life and winning.
Welcome to Bridgetown 