Tag: Theadia

Not the only one

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Some days I have to actively remind myself that I don’t always have to shoulder every single burden on my own. I’ve been doing pretty good with this at the Day Job, especially since I have an absolutely terrible habit of thinking “I’d better do this because no one else will” when it comes to things that desperately need doing. I don’t have to always be the one to answer the store phone. I can send someone else to do the sweep logs. I can always ask for help if I feel overwhelmed. Some days I forget this and take on far too much, but other days I’ll divvy up the responsibilities equally.

This is also something I need to remember while writing and revising Theadia, considering “I’d better do this because no one else will” is actually a recurring theme in that book. There is a time and place for that kind of thinking, and it can be a great motivator…but at the same time, one really must be aware of their own limitations and ask for help when needed. I’d like to think most of the characters in this novel have gotten pretty good at that, though they’re not perfect. Althea has a habit of reacting loudly and vociferously when something angers her, while Claudia’s reaction to that tends to do the opposite, growing quiet and bottling it up. Over the course of the book they learn that they’re not alone in this rebellion they’ve chosen to kick off, and others in their tight circle are willing to assist without question.

I believe part of this, and this concerns both my novel and my own life, is having finally learned to trust myself to a deeper level. If I trust myself enough to understand my limitations, I can learn to trust others to pick up where I’m unable to continue. And in both writing and life: this gives me the strength and the clarity to think ahead a few extra steps. If I know x is going to happen soon, I’d like to prepare myself for y and z and anything else I expect will arrive in due time.

I’m letting myself rest mentally and emotionally…but I’m also aware of what comes next and how to act. And sometimes that’s the most important thing to remember.

Keeping deadlines and rethinking priorities

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It’s not Theadia I’m worried about, actually. It’s A Division of Souls. Against my better judgement, I’m going to try to get the “remastered” version of my first novel ready for an early September release for its tenth anniversary. That gives me about nine months to get my butt in gear and get it done. Can I do it?

Well, I’m reasonably sure I can do it, at any rate. It’s not as if I’m completely rewriting the whole thing! As I’ve mentioned before, this revision that I’m calling a ‘remaster’ is merely updating a story I’ve spent several years on, and want to update it so it fits my current level of quality. I’m not embarrassed by it, but I can definitely see places where I could have done a lot better work on it.

At the same time, I worry that Theadia will fall by the wayside again. That won’t happen if I don’t let it, of course. I just have to shift priorities. Besides, I want to do that novel justice, and right now it still feels like it still contains a lot of gaps that need filling. [I mean, aside from its still being unfinished at this time.] The two projects are very similar in scope, I think. Both are Big Stories with an extended cast, featuring events that affect not just the main characters but everyone around them.

Both are also stories where I wanted to make some kind of statement. The Bridgetown Trilogy is about listening to and trusting the true spirit within — in short, trusting yourself, your instincts, and your emotions. Theadia is about wanting to do the right thing not only for your own benefit but for others — in short, understanding the consequences of your actions. And I feel that for both statements, I can’t really allow the stories to be half-assed.

This is definitely going to stress me out a bit in the next few months, but if I take it day by day, keep to my deadlines and stay focused, I shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

Back to work

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Hey there! Glad to be back again after a refreshing two week break! I did in fact spend most of that time relaxing and winding down from a rather hectic Christmas season at the Day Job, but I did keep myself busy with other things. Email cleaning, errands around the house, premium cat play time, and listening to music. Things like that. And catching up on reading as well! I just finished Peter Ames Carlin’s The Name of This Band is REM, which I truly enjoyed. For a band that influenced my songwriting back in the 80s, I’m surprised I haven’t read more biographies about them!

I returned to working on Theadia about a week ago, getting through the end of one chapter and starting in on a scene that needs heavy revision. I’m still working on that one now — the scene needed a change of POV and a lot more tension as it’s an important turning point in the plot. I think taking a breather from writing work was a good choice, short as it was, because it helped me refocus on what needed my attention the most. Fewer distractions and a renewed drive to keep going!

At this point I’m purposely not thinking about future plans or additional projects, as I think that was another distraction. Just because I can do it doesn’t mean I have to. I’m allowed to focus on one thing, especially when I’m this close to finishing it. If I have a moment and I’m willing to think about, say, MU4 or the Trilogy Remaster, that’s okay too. I’m just not going to fuss or fret over it every single time if I don’t have to.

I’m glad to be back, and I’m looking forward to spending more time writing again!

Ready?

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Image courtesy of Suzume

Am I ready for 2025? I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be, I think. Despite whatever nonsense might come my way, despite whatever drama or world event might unfold, I’m ready for it. I’m not expecting everything to be sunshine and roses, but I certainly don’t want to enter the new year afraid. That’s not who I am anymore.

This past year has been a lot about achieving clarity, but it’s also been about allowances. Allowing myself to do the things I want and need to do, both creatively and personally, with no strings attached. I shouldn’t have to feel the guilt, or the fear, or the dread of the outcome, whether actual or imagined. So I feel that the next year should be about taking those steps of my own free will.

I’ve probably overthought any writing plans I have for the new year, and over the last week or so I’ve been unraveling myself from much of it. Overplanning has been my method of procrastination in the past, and I’ve been unlearning that particular habit recently. What plans I do have: I have Theadia to finish and publish, MU4 to start, and the tenth anniversary edition of A Division of Souls to clean up and prep for release. And that’s pretty much it. Whether I’ll try new projects, or focus on other creative outlets, who knows. If it happens, it happens.

It’s time to be a little fearless.

Future plans…?

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First off: Just another quick reminder that it’s that time of the year again! ALL SEVEN of my books are here FOR FREE from now until the end of the year! You know you want ’em!

You can find my books right here at this link!

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So it’s usually about this time that I start blogging philosophical, thinking about what I’ve done this year and what I plan to do during the next. Anything different this time out, then…?

On a personal level, I spent a lot of time giving myself a bit of long-awaited mental and emotional stability, especially after a few personal events early in the year. I put a lot of things to rest and allowed other things to come to the surface. Writingwise I spent a lot of 2024 finishing and releasing Queen Ophelia’s War and focusing on Theadia…and mainly reminding myself that it’s just fine to focus on one or two projects and let any others come when I’m good and ready. The end result is that I felt even more grounded than I’d ever been in years, and that’s all I really asked for.

As for 2025…? Again, writingwise I have three somewhat concrete plans: to release Theadia, to start MU4, and release a “remaster/remix” of A Division of Souls for its tenth anniversary. The former I’m working on as we speak, and I’ll be starting the latter two in earnest come the new year. [I mean, it makes sense for me to work on two projects from the same created universe at the same time, right?]

As for personal…? That’s a very good question. I’m in a good place right now. Sure, I have some ideas I’d like to try out, some personal choices and decisions and whatnot. But I think what’s different this time out is a feeling of trust and confidence. I mean, that’s a big part of what I’d been working on over the last couple of years, and I’m finally at the payoff end of things. So if anything, I think I’m ready for something new. Something I’ve been wanting to do and haven’t given myself time or permission for.

Do I even have a plan? Who knows? We shall see…

Post-Thanksgiving Wind-Down

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Winding down, you ask? When the Christmas season is kicking into high gear? Well, yes. It might be crazy busy at the Day Job, but on a personal level, it’s time for me to wrap things up, take stock in the year to date, and think about what I’m going to do the following year. And it’s certainly been a bit of a strange year for me for varying reasons. Not necessarily in a bad way, but it’s definitely made me rethink a lot of things.

In working on this hopefully successful draft of Theadia, lately I’ve been comparing it to the days when I’d first started the project, way back in early 2020. Comparing the toxic-level stress I’d felt at the Former Day Job with the temporary exhaustion but shockingly minimal stress I feel at the current one. The managers I had then and the customers I worked with at the time versus the ones I have now. Two completely different lives. And those two years spent unemployed and working on a long overdue rewiring of my brain. All of that has definitely influenced my writing in certain ways.

I no longer worry about running out of ideas like I did then. Sometimes the stories come to me with unexpected inspiration — like Queen Ophelia’s War — and sometimes they’re something I have to actively work out from a much smaller piece of an idea. I very rarely try to force myself to write something new. I still need to relearn how to use my writing as something fun that I could work on at the 750Words site, but that’s something I’ll plan out in the new year.

In the meantime, I’ll be spending the next month taking stock in what I’ve done this year, continuing with the Theadia project, and deciding what I’ll be working on next.

Rebellion

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I am coming ever closer to the final act of Theadia, which means that I have to craft what I think is the perfect ending for the story. Mind you, I’m not looking for perfection per se, as that would just be madness. Like the third act of The Balance of Light, I have to work out an ending that both wraps up what I’ve been trying to say with the story, and also gives it a sense of proper closure, and I have to do that using several moving parts of my own creation. It can be tough and daunting, but it’s doable.

Thing is, the cast of Theadia is not your typical group of uber-savvy tech nerds, nor are they artillery-laden soldiers or maverick pilots. (Well, one of them is a maverick pilot, but his flashiness is only used once, and for a good reason.) Those aren’t the characters I wanted to write, and that’s not the kind of novel I wanted to write either. The point here is that I don’t want the ending to be a Winner Take All, Honor Saves The Day sort of thing.

I’d said previously that I’d been thinking a lot about nonconformity lately, and I think that works here in Theadia as well. The book’s cast might hold jobs that require they follow the rules for the greater good, but their story is about not following the rules for the greater good. The repeated mantra in the story is a single question: if you could…would you do the right thing? Every character asks themselves that at one point or another, and often when they have to question authority. Their decisions are never about rebellion for the sake of it…they are about going against norms because it’s the right thing to do.

Will it make a difference, though? That’s another question I’ve been asking myself, and I’d like to think that it will. Maybe not in the grander scheme of things; their actions won’t be universe-altering, but they certainly might affect things on the local levels, and that’s what matters. They’re well aware that it could cause all kinds of trouble after the fact, but it’s still worth it.

I’d like to think there’s a little bit of real life truth in that as well.

Distraction, or just too busy?

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I seem to be running out of time to write lately, and it’s bothersome.

To be honest, it’s not as if I’m overly distracted or simply just procrastinating these days. I’ll still deal with the Don’t Wannas every now and again, but for the most part I’ve been doing good. Just…not giving myself enough time.

Part of it lately is that I’ve been working a few odd hours at the Day Job that get me out around 4pm instead of 2pm, which leaves me with a few hours to hang with A and the cats until after dinner, by which time I end up scrunching multiple things into about an hour and a half of time. And to be honest, that ain’t working.

One thing I should probably do is prep multiple blog entries on the same day like I used to — that can easily be done if I give myself time to think about what I want to write about. And though I truly enjoy using the 750Words site, I think I’m at a point where I don’t need to work there right now. At this point writing there is more about getting those words done than using it for various projects. I’m not abandoning it, of course…I’m merely putting it aside.

The other thing I need to do is lay some ground rules, specifically one: what project(s) needs the most focus right now? In this case, I have two I want to focus on: finishing Theadia and starting the remaster of A Division of Souls. I already have schedule plans for each, so that shouldn’t be a problem. And when I’m done with Theadia then I can finally shift the bulk of my focus on writing MU4.

So yeah, I don’t think it’s distraction, at least not right now. Just needing to rethink my schedule a bit.

I…think I figured it out?

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I think I finally figured out how to end Theadia! I always knew it would end in a spectacular yet unexpected way, but as I’d said before, it was the getting there that was stumping me. But earlier this morning — as I was showering of course, just like it always happens with us writers — the answer finally came to me, and I’ve been thinking all day about how to make it work. (Which is why this post is late!)

I realized that I’d been coming at it from the wrong angle: all these scenes were building up to a crescendo, so you’d think the answer is a Big Hollywood Finish, right? Nah. That’s not how I roll. I wrap up my novels by taking all the separate plot threads and weaving them into a much bigger pattern. And in this case, I had to figure out what that pattern was. And that’s what I finally figured out this morning.

It wasn’t the pattern I was expecting…but it’s the one that’s right, and that’s the one I’m going to go with.

In the end it’s just love

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I might not be doing nearly as much writing and revising as I should these last couple of weeks, but fear not, I am not avoiding it. Merely just waylaid by Day Jobbery and trying to sort through the plots of two major projects in my head at the same time. And I’m trying not to make it all complicated.

The ending of Theadia might feature several characters doing several different things all at the same time to achieve one singular goal, but the important thing for me to remember is to take it one step at a time. There’s a lot to juggle but if I already know where all the pieces fit into the larger pattern, all I need to do is carefully and patiently put them all together. I learned that with the Bridgetown Trilogy.

And speaking of which, I’m also prepping myself to start (restart?) MU4 which, like the trilogy, has a lot of moving parts and patterns. I’ve worked and reworked them in my head for probably far too long, so I think it’s time to just start writing it. Put pen to paper and move. And to remind myself that despite the darker moments of this particular new project, there must also be moments of incredible light. That’s always been the theme of the Mendaihu Universe: the yin-yang balances of the world around us.

Every now and again I still need to remind myself of that. Not just in my writing projects, but in life as well. The Day Job might be stressful lately, but it also remains a place I’m proud of working at (and that in itself is something I very rarely admit to).