Good things, mind you, but things IRL that need my attention, so I haven’t been able to spend much time focusing on the blogging this past week. I only have so many brain cells and available spoons before I call it and retire for the evening. Thankfully I am keeping enough of a reserve where I can still spend a lot of time working on the Trilogy Remaster, so that has not fallen by the wayside at all!
Hopefully we’ll be back on track in the next week or so!
Currently enjoying a few days off from work to recharge the batteries, even if we are experiencing quite the spring storm front. I set this up a few weeks ago when it was obvious that I was feeling overtired and fighting allergies and/or a cold so we don’t plan on doing much of anything except doing a few errands, drinking coffee and bingeing on music or history podcasts. Whatever lets me kick back and relax, yeah?
On the writing front, I’d say I’m about a third of the way through the Great Remaster of A Division of Souls, which means I’m definitely on schedule with time to spare, as long as I keep it up and maybe speed up the process ever so slightly. I’m doing pretty well keeping things on schedule, but it still feels a little erratic to me, especially when I’m still allowing myself to get too distracted by the usual ‘just doing this for a few moments, I’ll be right back to work oh shit how is almost 8pm already’ nonsense. It’s all a part of learning and relearning how to focus.
I refuse to get sick right now, dang it! Especially since we have plans for the weekend!
I’m currently keeping a potential sore throat at bay, and spring allergies are of course making themselves known at the most inopportune times. I’m chugging Airborne and taking Benadryl and even going to bed early these last couple of days. It’s helping as I don’t feel nearly as bad as I did yesterday, but I think that’s also because today’s shift wasn’t nearly as stressful and exhausting.
It’s funny, though, that even when I am sick, I’ll still try to put in a little bit of writing work here in the Belfry. Sometimes it’ll just be a page or two of revision before I give up and start playing with the cats, but as long as it’s forward motion, every little bit helps.
It’s just about springtime here in the Bay Area, which means new plants will be blooming, the days will get brighter and longer, temperatures will rise, and the winter rains will be winding down. This means that we’ll have run out of decent excuses not to go out for a neighborhood walk after A gets off work and I happen to be at home. This also means that I really should start walking to and from work more often instead of taking the car.
As much as I love clocking in and getting a sizeable chunk of ‘remastering’ work done on A Division of Souls, sometimes I forget that I really should head outside and get some fresh air. I mean, sure, we own a treadmill now so we can always use that for exercise, but that’s no excuse when we’ve got an extremely walkable and visually interesting neighborhood. And besides, it’s a great way to clear our heads! It gives A a chance to not think about her inbox, and gives me a chance to step away from whatever I’m working on, providing us both with a bit of calm and clarity.
As an added bonus, it keeps me from doomscrolling, but that’s another post altogether. The point here is that I sometimes need to remind myself that the process of writing also includes not writing. This is the part I always forget: there’s a big ol’ world out there with several different kinds and flavors of experiences and sometimes it’s good just to witness it instead of reading about it. It’s a good habit, and it’s also far healthier.
WHOOF. It’s been a busy couple of weeks despite the slowdown at the Day Job. I’ve been working multiple midshifts while still managing to squeeze in writing sessions, blog entries and cat distractions, so I’m feeling a bit tired and sleepy. I’m still getting a lot done, but every now and again something needs to temporarily fall by the wayside so I can remain caught up.
I should be back on Monday, thanks for your patience!
That’s what I’ve been calling it lately: the process I used when originally writing the Bridgetown Trilogy. And it all started because I felt I hadn’t gone far enough with The Phoenix Effect.
By the time I was writing True Faith in 1995, I felt I at least had gotten the hang of the science fiction genre, and had gotten even further two years later with TPE, but at the same time I knew there was something wrong. There didn’t seem to be any issue with the universe I was creating, and I definitely felt that writing dialogue was one of my stronger creative traits…but it still felt off.
It didn’t take me long to figure out that it was the prose itself.
The problem was that my novel didn’t sound like one. It sounded more like an extremely detailed outline. And that had always been a problem with my work then…I thought I had some really neat ideas, but I was definitely failing in the execution of them. There was plenty of action, but my novel read more like a descriptive ‘A happens, B reacts, C happens, D causes a shift, etc.’ and less of an actual story. I resonated deeply with this tale about underground hackers, spiritual magic and otherworldly kinship…but none of that resonance was coming through at all.
So by 2001 or so, while working on TPE‘s revision and slogging my way through its sequel and getting nowhere, I realized that I needed to do something about it. I wanted to do better. I needed to do better. So one afternoon I decided I was going to completely rewrite it. I mean, start from scratch. Tell the whole dang story from Nehalé’s awakening ritual to the end, and do it right.
The only way I knew how to do this at the time was to do a deep dive. Instead of writing in that old outline style, I was going to make damn sure that every single scene resonated with me. It was a bit like method acting, to be honest: become the novel. Figure out why Nehalé did what he did. Understand the actions and reactions of Caren and Poe and everyone else. And don’t just be flippant about it; those actions and reactions were also part of the story, because it was who they were, and the consequences of their actions were also part of it.
By the time I’d gotten about five or six chapters in on this new version, I’d realized I’d only gotten through maybe two chapters of The Phoenix Effect, and this was EXACTLY what I’d been aiming for. So I just kept going, and eventually wrote myself an almost complete trilogy by the spring of 2005.
*
I bring this up now for two reasons:
One, after completing and self-publishing the Bridgetown Trilogy, I knew I had more to learn. I could definitely write doorstop epic novels at that point, now I wanted to prove to myself that I could ‘write econo’ (hat tip to The Minutemen, heh), so I started writing much shorter standalones. I’m quite proud of them all, especially Diwa & Kaffi, which I still feel is my best book to date. Even despite the urge to write the fourth book in the Mendaihu Universe, I wanted to stick with shorter works until I felt confident enough.
Two, it was the writing of the still-unfinished Theadia that made me realize that perhaps I was ready to do another one of those deep dives. This is another book I resonate deeply with…and like the trilogy, another book I feel isn’t quite there yet because it too needs a deep dive. Over the course of 2024 I tried the rewrite method, but somehow it still doesn’t feel complete yet. I still haven’t gone deep enough.
Fast forward to January 2025 and I’m focusing on the Trilogy Remaster and also revisiting the several sounds and words that surrounded its original writing, and I’m struck by another resonance that I’d almost forgotten about: this was how deep I’d gone with the trilogy! It had become a part of my life then, socially and creatively, and I loved every minute of it, and that was something that had been missing from my writing life for far too long, even before the revival of the trilogy in 2009.
As I’d mentioned briefly in last week’s blog entry, I feel I’ve come full circle, having learned several things along the way, and now I’m ready to cast the anchor and say this is where I belong. This is the style I love the most, yet it’s a style I haven’t allowed myself to return to. Or more to the point, I’d almost completely forgotten how to get back there in the first place, and it took several things falling perfectly into place for it to return.
Does this mean that my future novels are going to be epic in length? I can’t answer that because other than MU4 and Theadia, I don’t know where my next ideas might come from. But I can safely say that those two projects, at least, will be a return to the deep dive.
I’ve finally gotten myself into the daily habit of playing a round of playing Squaredle, an online word search game. I’ve always been a sucker for a good word search (I have a few issues of Penny’s Finest Word Seeks on my desk here in Spare Oom) as I find it both distracting in a positive way, and a good use of brain focus, something I’ve been trying to fix for some time.
I’ll be honest, one of the main reasons is because otherwise I find myself doomscrolling on social media during my break times at the day job. I’ll completely admit that I fall way too easily into that trap, and I’ve been needing to escape it for a while now. I tend to hyperfocus on various things and this game is at least something that gets my mind moving and not my blood pressure. I used to do the same thing back during my college years, buying those same word search magazines from the local CVS as a way to dial back the stress of academia. And now that I think about it, those pre-writing session games of FreeCell did the same job of calming my head and helping me properly shift focus.
Whatever works, yeah?
And speaking of searching for words, while working on the Trilogy Remaster I found myself dusting off my copy of Barbara Ann Kipfer’s Flip Dictionary for the first time in ages, a reference book I’d used several times during the writing of the three books. It was an amusing and pleasant reminder of how much I enjoyed going that extra step of trying to find that perfect word that made my prose just that little bit more exciting. I think I used it during the writing of my other books, but not nearly as much as I did the trilogy, and I’m curious as to why. Perhaps I knew what words I needed, but maybe it was also part of my “writing econo” idea I’d had, keeping the prose a bit more simple and less flowery.
I think what I’m trying to get at is that I feel like I’ve been coming full circle lately in terms of writing. I’ve tried all sorts of different formats, lengths, styles and even reference material, and now I feel it’s time for me to return to the ways I love the most.
It’s part of the learning process, I suppose, and I do love the idea of constantly evolving, but I think I’m also at the point where I can safely put down an anchor and say this is where I belong.
It’s been… (does math) …about two and a half years since Jules (and soon after Cali) joined our household in October/November 2022, and I for one am still endlessly happy coming home from work to see those two ridiculous cats perking up as I come through the door. [Well, they perk up at any sound that comes from the forbidden hallway, but still.]
Both of them still come into Spare Oom to visit me when I’m at home and have the day off. Cali (she’s the smaller and lighter-colored of the two pictured below) has recently been taking to jumping on my desk and completely blocking my view of my monitors, and Jules (the bigger and darker-colored one) will come in to bat-bat the various things in the room — including my pant leg — in order to get my attention.
These cats, I tell you.
They’re one of the few distractions while I’m writing that I will allow with zero guilt afterwards. Give them some pettins, play with them for a few minutes (their favorite toy at the moment, believe it or not, is a paper bag handle…my coworkers have been supplying me with them for months now at no charge), watch them ekekekekek at the birds outside, follow them into the kitchen to top off their kibble bowls. I’ll be honest, they even lifted my spirits the morning the election was official. That’s how powerful cats are.
I’m still debating whether or not Grizelda the Maine coon will play an important part in the climax of Theadia, but chances are very high that she’ll at least be in the scenes. I wrote a lot of her early scenes well before we adopted these two goofballs, but the revised version of the novel certainly had some help from them!
Some days I have to actively remind myself that I don’t always have to shoulder every single burden on my own. I’ve been doing pretty good with this at the Day Job, especially since I have an absolutely terrible habit of thinking “I’d better do this because no one else will” when it comes to things that desperately need doing. I don’t have to always be the one to answer the store phone. I can send someone else to do the sweep logs. I can always ask for help if I feel overwhelmed. Some days I forget this and take on far too much, but other days I’ll divvy up the responsibilities equally.
This is also something I need to remember while writing and revising Theadia, considering “I’d better do this because no one else will” is actually a recurring theme in that book. There is a time and place for that kind of thinking, and it can be a great motivator…but at the same time, one really must be aware of their own limitations and ask for help when needed. I’d like to think most of the characters in this novel have gotten pretty good at that, though they’re not perfect. Althea has a habit of reacting loudly and vociferously when something angers her, while Claudia’s reaction to that tends to do the opposite, growing quiet and bottling it up. Over the course of the book they learn that they’re not alone in this rebellion they’ve chosen to kick off, and others in their tight circle are willing to assist without question.
I believe part of this, and this concerns both my novel and my own life, is having finally learned to trust myself to a deeper level. If I trust myself enough to understand my limitations, I can learn to trust others to pick up where I’m unable to continue. And in both writing and life: this gives me the strength and the clarity to think ahead a few extra steps. If I know x is going to happen soon, I’d like to prepare myself for y and z and anything else I expect will arrive in due time.
I’m letting myself rest mentally and emotionally…but I’m also aware of what comes next and how to act. And sometimes that’s the most important thing to remember.
Sorry for the lack of exciting posts lately. Between having jury duty and having neck pain that doesn’t seem to want to go away (I’m 99% certain it’s from strain), I’m just not firing on all cylinders this week. The former is done and forgotten, and hopefully the latter will disappear soon enough if I do my stretches and work on better posture.
Until then, I’ll see you next week!
Welcome to Bridgetown 