Oh hey there! Doing a fly-by today as I have a rare Friday off. I’m spending this time listening to new releases, getting a few household errands done (sorry cats, but I really do need to vacuum), working in a an extended writing session for Theadia, and just relaxing after a very busy work week.
See you next Monday!
Yeah, I think I’m more than a bit out of practice when it comes to writing bigger stories. It’s been far too long since I’ve written in this style, I think. But I’m being patient and hoping that it all works out eventually. It’ll come back to me.
Over this past week I’ve been trying to write an all-new chapter for Theadia that introduces an important secondary character, but I know that this very rough draft is coming out a little, well…rough. I know I could do better, and I’m thinking I might need to give this another go-round before I move on to the next chapter. I think I’m more annoyed that my word count plummeted to about three hundred words a session when usually they’re an easy eight hundred or so. [It doesn’t help that I’ll find myself easily distracted by music and, er, blogging things like this.] But I’m not giving up.
I’m reminding myself that I’ve been in this situation several times in the past, where my word count can fluctuate at any point in time, where I might struggle to get a single scene done one day and breeze through another one the next. It’s just how the writing biz is. And no, I’m not going to use AI to help me, as this is actually my favorite part of writing! Heh.
I’ll get through it, one way or another.
For a while I was walking to and from work, but due to the winter weather here in SF, it gets super cold and sometimes rainy and I’d rather either drive in or take the bus. I always feel like I’m being lazy and wasteful because it’s only eight blocks. It’s not even worth turning on the radio as it’s only a three minute drive. But it’s spring now, it’s warming up, and the days are getting longer so I won’t always be walking there or home in the dark, depending on the shift. And the walk is only ten minutes. [I timed it when I first went for my initial interview.]
What do I do in that ten minutes? It’s not as if I really do all that much deep thinking about things. Sometimes I’ll think about what I’ll be doing for the rest of the day when I have a morning shift, and after midday shifts I’ll wonder what’s going on in the neighborhood now that everyone’s come home and had their dinner already. I might even stop into one of the three coffee shops I pass and grab a cup to go.
I do think about my writing. Not always, but sometimes. Just as in the past, if I’ll use the time to work out something that’s bothering me, or plan out something I’d like to try. Going for a walk these days is more about me not having to think, taking a mental break from what I’ve been doing all day, but if I’m in that creative mood, this is a perfect and peaceful time to let my mind wander a bit.
Either way, I need to start walking again. I definitely need the exercise!
The last time I talked about this sort of thing was four years ago in this entry, but a lot of things have changed in my life since then. I wrote that entry in the first year of the pandemic, about a year after I’d been forced into heading thirty miles west into the office, ten months after I’d originally come up with the idea for Theadia, and six months after I quit that former day job.
Reason I bring it up is that I’ve been talking with some coworkers at the current Day Job about personal things and surprisingly they all say that I’m probably the most got-their-shit-together person they’d ever met. Which is kind of mind-blowing, considering my past. Ask me how I was four years ago, and I’d say that I was in a much better place than I’d been even a few years before that, but I still had a hell of a long way to go.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot as I work on the Theadia rewrite, because I’m once again at the point where I feel I’ve still been holding back. I’ve just gotten so used to doing it over the last couple of decades for varying reasons. Getting my emotions under control, ensuring my mental and emotional health (and in the process my physical health) was no longer going haywire because I’d just been reacting to everything for most of my life.
So now I’m thinking: yeah, maybe it’s time to trust myself a bit. Far past time.
What does this have to do with my writing? I think it’s that I’ve always felt that my payoffs weren’t as grand as I want them to be. I mean, other than the epic roundup at the end of The Balance of Light where the fate of everyone is held in the hands of two characters, Denni and Saisshalé. I love my books but there’s always this feeling that I could have gone so much further with them plot-wise. Raised the stakes more. Sometimes I feel my personal avoidance of conflict in real life infiltrated the conflict in my books to some degree.
But it’s here and now, and I’m definitely not as avoidant as I used to be. And that’s another reason I want to rewrite Theadia: I can make this story a lot bigger, grander and stronger than what it currently is.
I don’t want to hold back this time.
I’ve said this before: Theadia is an unconventional hard-SF story. It’s not entirely about the spaceships or the combat or the high levels of tech intelligence. It’s more about the characters that are put into that world, whether they want to be there or not. I’ve also said this before as well: Theadia is about doing the right thing when no one else is bothering. But what it’s not is completely uber-serious or heavy on the military grimdark and the perils of deep space.
I love writing unconventional stories. They appeal to me and my mindset. I mean, come on: I’ve been listening to indie music since the mid 80s. My favorite stories are the ones that don’t go in the direction you expect. I’m a sucker for books and movies where you can tell the writers did their homework in weaving the plots in all sorts of unexpectedly creative ways. It only makes sense that my own writing leans the same way.
While I’ve been talking about how Theadia‘s sprawl is somewhat similar to the Mendaihu Universe, I’d say characterwise it’s more similar to the Meeks sisters in In My Blue World. There’s certainly a huge world out there (in this case a galaxy) but the story is mainly about these main characters I’m writing. I always love the idea of that dichotomy: a tight focus within a larger landscape. To me it gives the background life, and in the process our leads get to act or react accordingly to it.
I suppose this is partly why I’m still an indie author that’s self-publishing rather than going the pro route. I may have once had rose-tinted dreams about getting my novels released by a big name publisher, but the more I thought about it over the years, the more I realized that avenue felt more restrictive to my own creativity. I don’t know how to write commercial fiction, let alone genre fiction that would sell commercially, and I’m not sure if I’d be able to succeed if I managed to learn.
I just write what I enjoy the most, regardless as to whether it’s highly popular or not. And I’m quite happy with taking that unconventional route.
One thing A and I like doing on Fridays is watching Gardeners’ World on BritBox. It’s a nice calming hour of watching Monty Don fiddle with the various sections of his land alongside the various cohosts showing their own gardens and visiting others across the British Isles. It’s a great way to unplug from work and the stresses of the world for a bit.
Recently A also finally acquired a plot at the nearby community garden. She has a background in horticulture, so this is a dream come true. And yes, I’m looking forward to assisting as well when I’m not at the Day Job. I’ve learned quite a bit both from her and from watching those gardening shows, but it’s been ages since I’ve actually done any kind of outside work like this. [I’m quite certain I’m going to get all sorts of blisters and back and knee pains, but in the end it’ll be worth it.]
What does this have to do with writing? Well, nothing much really. It’s just a nice little distraction from life and stress and whatever else is going on. And you know me — I’ll eventually find gardening time is a perfect time to do a bit of plotting in my head. Heh.
In Theadia, our two main characters are computer nerds. However, I’m trying to avoid as much techspeak infodumping as I can. Can it be done?
That’s a good question. I mean, I’m basing their work background on my own experience at the Former Day Job — basically working behind the scenes as code checkers to make sure system are working the way they’re supposed to work, and to figure out solutions when they’re not. And believe you me, I did a LOT of that over the fourteen years I was there. And if I learned anything, it’s that there are indeed code geeks out there who are not savants but instead kinda sorta know what they’re doing and hope for the best. That is what the leads in my novel are about: they’re good at it, but it really is all held together with sticky tape and dreams most of the time.
This upcoming project is very much like that: you’re probably not going to see the stock characters of the introvert genius who saves the day, but you’ll definitely see the common citizen who’s hoping it doesn’t all go kerflooey at the worst possible moment. I like the idea that the world is not just imperfect, it’s messy as hell, and we’re all pretending that we have it under control. Theadia is about people who aren’t in charge, but do know what they’re doing. Sort of.
Getting back to the question, I do in fact have a few techspeak infodumping scenes, but they’re not the kind you’re expecting. Again, I based it on my own experience: the most common reason for system failure at my FDJ was either someone making a really stupid mistake upstream (or just plain not knowing what they’re doing), or someone forgetting that what works on the shiny and clean test platform will trip up in the messy and chaotic live platform. I have a few scenes not just explaining this, but having my two mains exploit it. The trick isn’t so much hacking in, it’s not getting caught. And if you know how and where to go…
(Image courtesy of Ghost in the Shell)
I’ve been reading a few social media or blog posts lately opining how AI has infested many creative fields like invasive critters, taking all the fun and the jobs from those who’ve been in the field for ages doing the actual lo-fi work the hard way.
You can always tell the pro-AI people: they have this weird salesperson optimistic shine to them, telling you how awesome it is to be able to create a novel — a whole freaking novel, even if you’ve never written one before! — just by typing in a few prompts! You can even put in a few more prompts and get a cover! You put in the ideas, the computer does all the hard work! It’s awesome! You’ll have more time for raising more bitcoin!
Oddly enough, they remind me of my worst ever job as a telemarketer at a call center, trying to sell toll-free 800 numbers back in the early 90s. Trying to push something that ninety percent of your targets don’t want, hoping that ten percent will think this is the Best Idea Ever, and you’ve made your sale. [And now you just need to get ten more in the next three hours so you can keep your job.]
It also reminds me of Virtual Reality. Remember that, from the early 90s? It was supposed to be the Next Big Thing then, back with all those crisp images that made the internet under the hood look like an amazing science fictional universe, and we’d all be Johnny Mnemonic with Thompson Eyephones, flying through digital space and opening up files and hacking through firewalls with disembodied computerized hands. Never mind that the real under the hood looked…less so. More 8-bit than CGI, really.
There’s something not entirely real about it all. Not exactly Uncanny Valley unreal, but more like you can definitely tell the difference between the messy and tactile yet endlessly fascinating real world, and the AI world that’s just a tiny bit too shiny and perfect but not quite working to spec in small yet obvious ways.
I’m reasonably sure that this too shall pass, just like VR did, just like those smart glasses and other fiddly bits of hardware that get a huge sales push and vanish a year or so later. They won’t go away, I think…they’ll still have their uses here and there. They just won’t be sold as The Latest Tech Toy You Must Own. The overwhelming reaction of AI art has been a resounding ‘meh’ from most non-tech people anyway, and most artists are pissed off about it for obvious reasons. And as a writer myself? I’m secretly laughing that most AI-created stories are easily spotted, absolutely terrible and lacking any kind of humanity within its pages. We’ll still have a few people trying to make a fast buck by generating a handful of these, but they’re few and far between and they’re not doing as well as they think they are.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve used a few low scale AI art generator websites now and again, just for the fun of it, just to see what it does and what level it’s at. If it wants to stay, I think it still has a long way to go. It might create an eye-catching picture…but with colors slightly too pastel, the smile a bit too Aphex Twin, minor but crucial details completely missing, or perhaps an extra limb or finger bending in strange ways. Plus, it currently takes up a huge fuckton of processing power that’s not healthy for the environment.
We’re still better off going old-school and doing the hard work, even if it does take a bit longer and sometimes costs money, to be honest. The end results are still much more pleasing and long-lasting.
(Art source unknown, but borrowed from this Medium article)
It’s been a little less than two months since I closed down my Twitter feed, and I can’t say I’ve missed it all that much. Sure, I still pop in from time to time for a minute or so, just to ensure I don’t lose access and to check in on those I follow who aren’t online elsewhere, but other than that, I stay well away.
I’m still on Bluesky and Threads, but even then I don’t stay for too long. Again, maybe for a minute or so. I spend more time with my east coast friends on our shared Discord, to be honest. My Instagram these days are mostly pictures of our cats Jules and Cali. Weirdly enough, the most time I’ll spend on social media is to watch some lawn care reels on Facebook, because they’re a lot of fun and surprisingly calming to watch.
That was the whole point of this detox, really…it wasn’t to take a vacation away from social media but to recalibrate my brain so I’m no longer beholden to it. I still feel like I could better use my time during breaks at work, but I’m not really beating myself up over it. I feel less stressed out, for starters. I feel less inclined to give into a daily rage about whatever nonsense is going on in the world. I’ve found a healthier social balance and I’ve decided I’m going to stay there for a while.
Does this give me more time for writing? Sure! I’ve been doing a lot of world building work for Theadia during breaks and slow times at work. I can get through a good chunk of revision work on Queen Ophelia’s War on a daily basis. I can zip through my daily 750Words. All this, and still have a bit of time left over to relax with non-creative fun things! Time management for the win!
I knew that aside from the expected family gatherings and whatnot over this past weekend, I’d have a lot of time to myself at the hotel I was staying at, so I brought my trusty Lenovo laptop with me. My plan was to hole up and get some serious editing and revision done on Queen Ophelia’s War during that time, and I did in fact get several chapters done in the span of just a few days! Not only that, I was able to bash out a few hundred words for my romcom idea. Hell, I even had a few hours to kill at Logan before my flight back west, so I got some revision work done there as well!
Allowing myself to spend an extended amount of time was something I’d needed, and something I hadn’t been able to do all that often since I started at the Current Day Job. I can do it on my days off, but even then I’m sharing that time with other non-writing things I need to catch up on so the time spent isn’t nearly as long. But hey, that’s something I’ve been trying to adjust! I feel like I’m back on schedule, and that’s where I needed to be in order to make that happen.
Life has returned back to normal now and it’s the start of a new month, so this is the perfect time for me to plan ahead — to do a bit of proactive time management for my creative outlets and life adjustment to get rid of unwanted distractions. I’m still on schedule to get Queen Ophelia’s War out within the next few months.
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