Sometimes I have to remind myself that I probably shouldn’t be here in Spare Oom and staring at this screen all day long. Most days I’m good with this; I’ll do some local errands or take the day off to go shopping somewhere. Other days I’ll just sit here and crank out the words all day long (and almost forgetting to get up and stretch). I’ll get frustrated when I take days off from writing, of course, because no one else is going to tell these particular stories and I’d rather not waste more time keeping them hidden.
The balance, I suppose, is allowing myself to get up leave the PC for a length of time. I don’t have to get these words out specifically before noon, yeah? I mean, it’s a good deadline but it’s not set in stone. Today I spent most of the morning doing some non-writing work and then doing our taxes. I’ll give myself a pass in this instance, considering one of them is time-sensitive. That’s why this post is late. Later this week A will have a few days off, which we’ll be spending at the zoo and at one of the local museums. My Writer Brain of course is twitchy because it’s time spent away from the PC, but Reality Brain is already calming WB down (You can always write AFTER we come home, you know.), so I’m not overly concerned.
I’ll get there eventually. It all balances out, really. I have slow days as well as extremely productive days. And if that’s true, I can also have PC days and I can have Real Life Outside days too, yeah?
Last week at the Day Job was very long, busy and headache-inducing, so I did not get a chance to update my blogs. On the plus side, I did spend a considerable amount of time in the evening finishing up the first draft of my synopsis for Diwa & Kaffi! Plus, it was a nice relaxing (and relatively clear!) long weekend here so I decided to just enjoy it while I had it. Got caught up with emails, slept late-ish, cleaned the house, and completed other errands. And we also walked quite a few miles in and around the neighborhood to get our exercise in!
Sometimes that’s the best thing to do for extended weekends. I know some writers will immediately think: Brilliant! Now I can spend hours on end working on my WIP! And if that’s your jam, that’s cool too. I used to be that writer back in my single days, staying up far too late working on stuff and goofing off online at my leisure. But now I find that taking the weekend to just enjoy it is a really neat idea as well. We’ll maybe hit the gym one morning (like we did today) and go out for lunch, then spend the rest of the day streaming tv shows or catching up with easy errands. Like catching up on my blogs!
The older I get, the more I appreciate taking weekends off from writing. Not because I Am An Old, but because I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I don’t have to work at top speed all the time. The weekend is here to recharge, so why not do exactly that? It gives me more energy, but it also lets me think about my current WIP at a slower speed. I don’t always have the time for that during the week, so I cherish the slower, calmer moments when and where I can.
After I finish a major project, I almost always suffer from a severe case of the Don’t Wannas.
It’s different from simple exhaustion and wanting to take a break. I always let myself have those, guilt-free, because I’ve earned them. This is after all that, when I really should be writing again. I have the Daily Words platform up but all I end up doing is rambling about personal stuff. It frustrates me because I’ve already decided that’s what my longhand journal is for; these Daily Words should be part of a creative process. It doesn’t matter if it’s outlining or just riffing on an idea or an actual chapter for a book.
I just…Don’t Wanna. And I know for a fact that I’m just dithering. Putting it off. Like my homework back in my school days, I just don’t want to do it until I have to do it. I let myself believe that I can’t come up with anything worth writing about. And like then, when I do return to it, it feels rushed and half-assed and I get mad at myself.
So how do I combat that? How do I get myself back on the creative track? Good question. I can remind myself to just shut the f*** up and DO IT already; I can assign myself specific things to write on certain days (such as these here blogs); I can just ignore the Don’t Wannas; I can stop making excuses and jump into the deep end with a completely random idea and see where it takes me. Whatever works. Hell, I started three novels on the barest threads of an idea and just…went for it.
Some days I work past it, other days I need that swift kick in the butt. Eventually I get there.
Courtesy of ‘The Garden of Words’ by Makoto Shinkai
Still here, still plugging away at the final revision pass-through for Diwa & Kaffi, so there’s not too much to report at the moment. However, I think I can safely say that I really haven’t written anything new for quite some time.
And I’m actually okay with that.
It’s not a dry spell, because I have a few projects that I can easily work on. I’ve been continuing to write in my journal and do a bit of small creative things here and there. This is different; this is a moment in my writing career where I can take a break from it and not worry that I’m losing my craft. I’ve proven to myself that I can get it back given time and inclination, I just chose to focus on personal things for a little while.
In retrospect, I think this is actually a good thing, because I haven’t given myself a real break since I started the Great Trilogy Revision back in…2011 or so? That’s a long time. Three years of revising those books, three more years of revising them again to prep them for self-publication, and a few more years of writing three more novels. It’s been an extremely creative and productive decade, that’s for sure.
I think can give myself a bit of a mental break.
What will I focus on? Oh, I have all sorts of things. Finally work on my music and my artwork a little more seriously, for starters. It feels good not to be at full acceleration mode on a daily basis. Get outside more. Get to know more people. See and explore new and different things. Focus a little more on life things instead of creative things.
I have no idea when this hiatus will end, but it sure feels good not to give myself a deadline for the first time in years!
I know, I know, I’ve blogged about this before, but it’s always worth repeating, because we writers are often our own worst enemies.
Sometimes I get so into the groove of writing or revising one of my projects that I just keep going for weeks on end, and let other things fall by the wayside. Which is fine, especially if I really want to make a significant dent in my progress. Thing is, sometimes I do this for a little too long, and I’ll either burn out or I’ll lose track of other important things.
So this past Saturday, instead of doing any writing, we went on a short road trip down the coast to Half Moon Bay for brunch and a little bit of shopping, and followed it up with watching the first two Star Wars prequels. We hadn’t seen The Phantom Menace since it came out, and neither of us had seen Attack of the Clones. [Our post-movie thoughts: TPM had promise but suffered from horrifically bad dialogue and lifeless acting; AotC was miles better and actually quite enjoyable, if overlong and with a few questionable plot choices. We plan on watching Revenge of the Sith sometime this week. Noted, we’re watching these for a panel we’ve devised for BayCon in a few weeks!]
Taking a day off from writing is always a good choice, for multiple reasons. One, every now and again it feels good not to have to worry about hitting a self-imposed deadline or word count. I’m allowed a fun day off now and again, right? Two, this is a perfect time for me to switch from Writer/Editor Brain over to Reader Brain. Time to kick back, enjoy a story. Be moved or inspired by a novel or movie. Three, I get to be social with other people, including my wife. Four, it reminds me that even though I might find the writing process thrilling and immensely enjoyable, there are other things out there that are equally as enjoyable. Like going to the local zoo!
Well, hello to you too!
I think I’ve managed to get the the point in my life where I’m okay if I take a day off now and again. Writer that I am, I’ll most likely still think about whatever I’m working on, but in a passive way, making mental notes for later. It’ll still be there when I get back in a day or so.
It wasn’t as if I’d had an energy-draining day at the Day Job on Friday. In fact, it was smooth sailing for most of the afternoon. I kept myself busy by catching up on personal emails and listening to some new release tunage. After work we went for a walk to the Legion of Honor Museum up on the hill (it’s just a little over a mile from our house by foot, uphill 98% of the way) for a sneak preview of their Degas, Impressionism and the Paris Millenery Trade exhibit. A bit tired from the walk but otherwise just fine.
Did I get any writing work done, though? Not a word.
Nor did I get any work done Saturday, when we went to see a movie at the Opera Plaza (the documentary Letters from Baghdad) and afterwards stopped by Green Apple to buy a few books I’d been looking for. I did turn on the PC to update a few drivers and software, but spent the rest of the day catching up on webcomics that I’d been backed up on. [I’m a big fan of webcomics for multiple reasons and will most likely have a future post on them at some point!]
Sunday was shopping day, so hopefully some time tonight I’ll be able to squeeze in some Lidwells work. If I’m not distracted by other things! Heh.
It’s not all that often that I’ll take a day or two off without feeling some sort of guilt. I’m at that point in my writing career where I’m once again comfortable with my processes, that I don’t feel the need to rush to get things done. [I’ll still kick myself for procrastinating, but that’s more about getting my daily processes started in the first place.] I can afford a few days off where I’m living a normal life, watching TV and going out into the world and whatnot.
It’s a struggle of many writers, considering many of them are like me, juggling their writing career with their Day Job. You can’t really decide ‘I’m gonna play hooky from my Day Job, I deserve to do it now and again’, at least not without consequences and/or lost pay. On the same token, you don’t want to do that with your writing either, because a) that’s admitting your writing is less important (which you do NOT want to admit), and b) that’s one less day you’re moving forward, one more day your story is just sitting there, doing nothing. It’s also why, when writers do take a day off from writing AND their Day Job, it’s usually for vacation purposes and purposely doing nothing, and STILL feel guilty about it.
Still, it’s a struggle I’ve gotten under control. I’ve been hitting over 2000 words daily, between blog posts, personal journalling and occasional poetry writing, the 750 practice words on Secret Next Project, and Lidwells. My deadline stress is light. My near-future plans are clear. The docket is a hell of a lot clearer than it was just a few years earlier. I can afford to take a writing day off…especially if that day is spent reading and watching other people’s creations with an eye on what their own processes were! [See what I mean about Writer Brain never being completely turned off?]
I can afford to be lazy every now and again, and not feel the least bit guilty. I just need to remember to enjoy it!
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