Post-Thanksgiving Wind-Down

Winding down, you ask? When the Christmas season is kicking into high gear? Well, yes. It might be crazy busy at the Day Job, but on a personal level, it’s time for me to wrap things up, take stock in the year to date, and think about what I’m going to do the following year. And it’s certainly been a bit of a strange year for me for varying reasons. Not necessarily in a bad way, but it’s definitely made me rethink a lot of things.

In working on this hopefully successful draft of Theadia, lately I’ve been comparing it to the days when I’d first started the project, way back in early 2020. Comparing the toxic-level stress I’d felt at the Former Day Job with the temporary exhaustion but shockingly minimal stress I feel at the current one. The managers I had then and the customers I worked with at the time versus the ones I have now. Two completely different lives. And those two years spent unemployed and working on a long overdue rewiring of my brain. All of that has definitely influenced my writing in certain ways.

I no longer worry about running out of ideas like I did then. Sometimes the stories come to me with unexpected inspiration — like Queen Ophelia’s War — and sometimes they’re something I have to actively work out from a much smaller piece of an idea. I very rarely try to force myself to write something new. I still need to relearn how to use my writing as something fun that I could work on at the 750Words site, but that’s something I’ll plan out in the new year.

In the meantime, I’ll be spending the next month taking stock in what I’ve done this year, continuing with the Theadia project, and deciding what I’ll be working on next.

Rebellion

I am coming ever closer to the final act of Theadia, which means that I have to craft what I think is the perfect ending for the story. Mind you, I’m not looking for perfection per se, as that would just be madness. Like the third act of The Balance of Light, I have to work out an ending that both wraps up what I’ve been trying to say with the story, and also gives it a sense of proper closure, and I have to do that using several moving parts of my own creation. It can be tough and daunting, but it’s doable.

Thing is, the cast of Theadia is not your typical group of uber-savvy tech nerds, nor are they artillery-laden soldiers or maverick pilots. (Well, one of them is a maverick pilot, but his flashiness is only used once, and for a good reason.) Those aren’t the characters I wanted to write, and that’s not the kind of novel I wanted to write either. The point here is that I don’t want the ending to be a Winner Take All, Honor Saves The Day sort of thing.

I’d said previously that I’d been thinking a lot about nonconformity lately, and I think that works here in Theadia as well. The book’s cast might hold jobs that require they follow the rules for the greater good, but their story is about not following the rules for the greater good. The repeated mantra in the story is a single question: if you could…would you do the right thing? Every character asks themselves that at one point or another, and often when they have to question authority. Their decisions are never about rebellion for the sake of it…they are about going against norms because it’s the right thing to do.

Will it make a difference, though? That’s another question I’ve been asking myself, and I’d like to think that it will. Maybe not in the grander scheme of things; their actions won’t be universe-altering, but they certainly might affect things on the local levels, and that’s what matters. They’re well aware that it could cause all kinds of trouble after the fact, but it’s still worth it.

I’d like to think there’s a little bit of real life truth in that as well.

A little end of year cleaning house

I’m usually good at keeping things tidy around the house — inquisitive and/or destructive cats aside — but every now and again things pile up. There’s shredding to be done, we’ve suddenly accumulated a large pile of books to be donated, or shipping boxes that have only since been used by cats for shredding purposes, or what have you. Eventually I’ll decide that a cleaning session is in order.

I even need to go through my emails lately. I’m usually good at those, because Sundays are when I go through them while I’m running all the PC cleaning programs, but sometimes I lag behind. This usually happens when my Day Job schedule encroaches on the time I usually do the home cleaning. Point is, I’ve gotten myself on several mailing lists somehow and it’s clear that I’m only reading maybe about a quarter of them, if that. I’ll need to go through those soon enough.

Writingwise? Well, for the most part I keep my files well organized on my Dropbox account so I know where everything is. But over the course of the year, things can pile up. Pictures I’ve transferred from my camera and my phone, image scans, work-related paperwork, things like that…some of those don’t have a specific home and end up in a File These Away At Some Point folder. Do I need to keep them? Probably not. Some I can save, but most of them I can probably delete.

I don’t think I have any stagnant projects that need refiling, as far as I know. A few backburner items (which are rightly sorted in the Backburner Projects folder) but other than that, I haven’t made any major decisions to trunk anything lately. Which is a good thing, I suppose.

Either way, I like doing this at the end of the year as part of my process to start the next year fresh and clean!

Distraction, or just too busy?

I seem to be running out of time to write lately, and it’s bothersome.

To be honest, it’s not as if I’m overly distracted or simply just procrastinating these days. I’ll still deal with the Don’t Wannas every now and again, but for the most part I’ve been doing good. Just…not giving myself enough time.

Part of it lately is that I’ve been working a few odd hours at the Day Job that get me out around 4pm instead of 2pm, which leaves me with a few hours to hang with A and the cats until after dinner, by which time I end up scrunching multiple things into about an hour and a half of time. And to be honest, that ain’t working.

One thing I should probably do is prep multiple blog entries on the same day like I used to — that can easily be done if I give myself time to think about what I want to write about. And though I truly enjoy using the 750Words site, I think I’m at a point where I don’t need to work there right now. At this point writing there is more about getting those words done than using it for various projects. I’m not abandoning it, of course…I’m merely putting it aside.

The other thing I need to do is lay some ground rules, specifically one: what project(s) needs the most focus right now? In this case, I have two I want to focus on: finishing Theadia and starting the remaster of A Division of Souls. I already have schedule plans for each, so that shouldn’t be a problem. And when I’m done with Theadia then I can finally shift the bulk of my focus on writing MU4.

So yeah, I don’t think it’s distraction, at least not right now. Just needing to rethink my schedule a bit.

Darkness and Light

So on Sunday morning as I was lying in bed, having just woken but too lazy to get up and feed the cats just yet, I started thinking about a new way to approach writing MU4. I’ve written at least three or four different openings, and yet none of them felt quite right. The current one is close to what I need…but the scene itself happens way too early in the story. I needed something to build up to that.

The good thing about lying there and letting my thoughts quietly meander for a bit is that I wasn’t trying so hard to figure it out this time. And that’s when it occurred to me: I needed to return to the original theme of the trilogy in order to move forward. That theme, of course, was balance. One character playing the role of spiritual balance to another. One action balancing out another. One dwelling in darkness, the other in light. This story focuses more on internal balances than spiritual or religious ones, even though those two still play an important part in the Mendaihu Universe.

The focus here, then, is on my two main characters: one whose life is chaos and wishes for order, and one whose life is rigid order and wishes for freedom. Both have a common goal of mental, emotional and spiritual balance, even though they’re coming from complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Which of course inspires the same question I had for Denni and Saisshalé in the trilogy: what is the red string that bonds them together? Are they enemies or are they allies? Are they bound to negate each other’s strengths, or are they to work together to become even stronger?

The good thing about this, even as I lay there with one cat staring impatiently at me and my brain in dire need of caffeine, is that this has gotten me even closer to the story I want to tell here. And that’s what I’ve been waiting for. All I need to do is start it.

So.

This is so going to change my writing style again, isn’t it?

I’m…well, I’m a little less angry and frustrated and terrified than I was Thursday morning, but no less than I was when The Fuckwit was last in office. [Noted, he’s still not my President. I’m totally fine if you unfollow me if that bothers you. This blog isn’t going to turn into a wonkfest, as that’s not the kind of writer or person I am.]

I have plans. Long and short term, some mere ideas and some dedicated goals. I refuse to let him or any of his minions (or owners, if you really want to be cynical about it) keep me from using my words or to make me hide. I didn’t play their game last time and I don’t plan on playing it this time either.

Perhaps a *little* nervous…

I’m sure we’re all on tenterhooks as we await the outcome of tomorrow’s election. I know I certainly am, for various and extremely obvious reasons. It continues to blow my goddamn mind that some people are still contemplating voting for The Fuckwit.

(Hey, it’s my blog, I get to wax politic every now and again. I don’t all that often, so stick with me here.)

As for me, I will most likely be heavily distracting myself instead of watching coverage for most of Tuesday because I know I won’t be able to emotionally handle it otherwise. I did this back in 2012 when I was worried Mitt would win by binge-reading the webcomic Endtown. (I highly recommend it, Aaron Neathery’s storytelling is equal parts strange, heartbreaking and humorous.) I believe in 2016 I binge-watched the Gall Force anime series which I hadn’t done in ages, and 2020 I think I just focused on writing and my music collection. Perhaps this time out we’ll watch silly holiday romcoms or something.

I mean, realistically I feel cautiously optimistic. Harris has consistently proven herself not only able to go above and beyond, but also to consistently think multiple steps ahead and and think outside the box when necessary. TFG and his team, on the other hand, has consistently proven himself utterly unable to do even the most basic homework without fucking up spectacularly, and hiding said fuck-ups with distraction. And several members of his own party have even gone public to say oh christ please I’ll even vote for this cheese danish instead of him. Completely ignoring the “polls” that have been popping up as of late, it sounds like Harris has an extremely good chance of winning.

Still, I’ve come to accept the fact that I do not have the stomach or the brain to be a political wonk. I’m just too mentally reactive with such things. So I’m just going to hope for the best. I’m certainly hoping we’ve dispensed with most if not all of the faithless electors who screwed up 2016. And I’m also hoping that TFG’s minions won’t pull another January 6, because we really don’t need a repeat of that now, do we?

Well. Either way, I’ll still be here. I’m definitely not going anywhere.