Tag: full novel

Author’s Note: More often than not, you’re not looking for someone else’s permission to do something you need to do. You’re looking for your own.

*

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Elise-Nooviya always welcomed Anna-Nassi to the tenant meetings with a warm hug and a cheerful smile, something she still hadn’t gotten used to despite working with her daily for weeks now. She’d been happily welcomed into the committee and accepted as an important member, even despite her low rank and lack of experience. Every Saturday they held an informal roundtable to review any recent or outstanding issues. These weekend gatherings were not mandatory like the month-end meetings were, but Anna-Nassi made it a point to be present for as many as she could, to show her dedication. And Elise-Nooviya had certainly noticed; she looked forward to Annie’s arrival and participation and would always walk her back to her apartment afterwards.

Anna-Nassi felt at home among the other elders, much to her surprise. For years she’d been stuck in that weird limbo between passive student and active adult, and she’d expected the transformation to be long and irritating, but now that she was considered a true adult, with all the adult responsibilities that came with it, she found she fit right in with many of the tenants. She was in fact one of the quieter tenants on this estate! They enjoyed her off-kilter sense of humor and her ability to connect so easily with almost anyone. They especially enjoyed her almost limitless energy!

Her job on the committee, as was normal for new members, was to take the minutes. She had a fast and clear hand and could transcribe her notes quickly. It was mindless but easy work for her, and because of that, she’d quickly learned how to listen to the different tenants. Each had their own comments and concerns, some more important than others, and each had their own way of going about it. She prided herself on being a good and patient listener and picked up on what needed prioritization, and what was just talk for the sake of talking.

What she was not good at, which surprised everyone including herself, was the ability to voice her own concerns and news at the meetings. When it was her turn at the podium, her nerves would always get the best of her and she would speak too loud and too fast. And because her thoughts were rarely linear, she would have to write her script down first, or else no one would be able to follow. This wouldn’t happen if Cole were by her side! Eiyah, how did her amma learn how to get past this?

But at the end of the day, she never felt mortified. The committee didn’t hate her. They might need to get used to her, sure, and some of them might need to coach her on her public speaking, but she never felt unwelcome.

“How is your orchard project coming along, Annie?” Elise-Nooviya asked after that day’s meeting. They were taking a meandering stroll across the central green, stopping to watch the younglings on the playground.

“Slow, but it’s moving in the right direction,” Anna-Nassi said, giving her a small grin. “We had someone come in and do some massive pruning on Thursday, so it looks a bit barren and awkward right now. The good news is that nearly all the trees are still in good health and we only had to get rid of three of them! Let’s see, what else? Oh! A few tenants have volunteered to help clean up on the weekends! And Tassh is keeping an eye on the apples. I don’t know where he finds the time between his construction job and gardening and babysitting Koie, but he finds it.”

“That’s wonderful news!” Elise-Nooviya sang. “I’m glad you’re tackling this project, pahyé. The committee trusts you with it.”

Anna-Nassi couldn’t help but shiver and ripple her wings just a little bit. She was not yet used to such compliments! “I hope I don’t let them down,” she said quietly.

“You’re doing just fine,” she hummed softly, calming her nerves. She led her further down the path, taking her arm. “And how is Cole, might I ask? I’ve rarely seen him these past few weeks.”

Anna-Nassi’s mood darkened slightly, her shoulders dropping. If only she knew how he was this moment! She hadn’t even seen him this morning! “He’s decided to work at the co-op farm with his parents this summer,” she grumbled. “He spends his time there most days. I only see him on the weekends now.”

Elise-Nooviya hummed once more, low and consoling. “You miss him, Annie…I understand your connection with him. You have an interesting bond with him. It’s not like the one we see between Diwa and Kaffi, but it’s just as strong. This situation will only make it stronger.”

“I know…” she sniffed, ruffling her wings in frustration. Now was not the time to start tearing up! “I just get so lonely without him sometimes.”

“Eiyah!” Elise-Nooviya skittered around and faced her directly, stopping her short. She took Anna-Nassi’s hands and held them tight and close to her heart. “Annie, dearest. You always have us. If not the committee or even the other tenants, you have me. Never forget that.”

Anna-Nassi shivered with emotion and bowed her head, hiding the bright and deep blue strip across her nose. “Ai…maianni-naahsah, mani,” she giggled, fighting back tears with her wide smile. “It means so much to hear that.”

Elise-Nooviya moved in just close enough for her to whisper in her ear. “Go visit him, yeah?” she said with a hint of playfulness. “There’s no one holding you back. Someone else can take the minutes in your absence, Annie. We won’t mind at all.”

Anna-Nassi held her hands tight. “Thank you, elder,” she said. “I will.”

*

Cole felt Anna-Nassi’s signature from at least a half a mile away, which had to be a new record. Granted, she was one of only three people riding the shuttle bus and it wasn’t all that hard to single her out given her level of excitement, but the distance was still impressive. Soon the shuttle would turn into the long driveway in a few minutes and ride the long loop to the main buildings, as it always did, right near shift change. By the time the bus came to a stop at the main visitor’s entrance, he was already there to meet her.

“Eiyah!” she cheered, bursting through the bus doors, skittering down the sidewalk and swinging him off his feet and into a tight hug. “Cole! I’ve missed you so much! How are you?”

The onslaught of emotion washed over him like a tidal wave, and he let himself drown in it. “H-hey, Annie! I’ve missed you too!” he laughed, already intoxicated by her positive energy. It lifted him up so high that he couldn’t get enough of it! He didn’t realize how much he’d needed it, how much he’d missed it, until now! He’d been leaving the estate so early in the morning and coming back at strange hours that he rarely had a chance to meet up with her, let alone leave a message with her family, even on the weekends. Ah, goodness, how he’d missed this!

When she at last put him back down on the ground he gave her another long, soft hug in return, letting some of the excess energy bleed back into her. “It really is good to see you,” he said, his head and heart happily buzzing. “What brings you here?”

“Why, you, of course!” she said, giving him her widest smile. “Well – officially, I’m also doing a recon mission for the committee to give them an update on how the co-op’s coming along. Oh! And to let you know that I talked to Tassh yesterday and not only has he chosen to work on the upkeep of the orchard, but he’s willing to apply for a position here if there are any openings. And I almost forgot! I ran into Kaffi just before I left the estate and he said that Graymar will be fast-tracking his flight training. And Diwa, well, he’s being Diwa. Ai! I’m sorry, I’m talking too much! Tell me what you’re up to!”

He really did miss Anna-Nassi’s relentless positivity! Even when it was masked by other emotions, her energy always calmed him. “The co-op is doing just fine,” he said. “We’re still finding our place here, but our first wave of workers and field managers are learning quickly. I don’t have anything pressing to do today, I can give you a tour if you like?”

“I’d love that,” she said, and took his arm. “How are your parents? I know they’ve been staying nearby for the summer until everything is running smoothly. The committee says hello to them, of course.”

He led her through the front doors of the main building and towards the visitor’s center. This area wasn’t nearly as busy and noisy as the rest of the building, which gave him a few more minutes to achieve his needed mental and emotional balance. “They’re doing well,” he said. “They’re currently in one of our corn lots further in, and then heading straight over to the pumpkin field on the other side, so I’m afraid we might not see them today. I’ll tell them you stopped by.”

Anna-Nassi hummed contentedly; he noticed she even held her wings a little looser. There was a lot more room here, of course. Less of a chance for her to accidentally hit someone or something, which she was prone to do at times. He led her into the main visitor’s hall and showed her the large three-dimensional table diorama of the entire farm; each field had an inlaid digital screen that featured what was growing where in real time via remote cameras, what sections lay fallow, and what was coming into season, all intertwined with a short loop of cheerful workers and an overhead shot of the co-op complex. She was suitably impressed by the information and attention to detail, and casually commented that she might spend some time working here as well if she could swing it.

Cole remained quiet and calm when she said that, but inside he was already buzzing with excitement again. If he could spend more time with Annie…!

He took her through some of the back offices, introduced her to some of the management, and led her out into the smaller fields nearby. The strawberries were currently in season, and that stopped her short. She stood there, tall and silent with her eyes closed and a wide smile on her face as she inhaled the wonderfully sweet scent of the berries. It was one of her favorite scents in the entire world! She couldn’t resist getting her hands dirty picking a few. She was surprisingly delicate in her picking process, but in no time she gathered two full baskets, even while sneaking in a few nibbles on the way. Cole watched her and took in a little bit more of her energy. She looked so blissfully happy, and he wanted her to cherish it.

Later that afternoon they had a small box lunch courtesy of the farm on the wide grassy lawn outside the main building, sitting under the lone tree. He’d offered her a larger portion, but she demurred, much to his surprise. They talked about mundane things, events going on at the estate, their families. It was calming and enjoyable. And it only underlined how much he missed being a part of it all. How much he missed her.

“How are Diwa and Kaffi coming along?” he asked.

She flashed another grin, a small band of light blue appearing across the bridge of her nose. “They’re doing just fine,” she sang with more drama than necessary. They must have been showing further signs of closeness in their bond, much to her delight. “Kaffi should be ready to fly with a ride by the end of the month. I believe I’ve managed to get Diwa to trust his instincts more. The fear is still there, but he’s able to fight past it. They’re practically inseparable now! Aaand…I may have talked Samuel and Graymar into being out on patrol whenever those two are out there, just in case? Eiyah, those two boys have been so twitchy about it! I know they both want it just as badly as I want them to have it, but it’s getting to the point that one of us needs to give them a good hard nudge to go further. It’s just a matter of when they decide to fly for the first time.”

“And you want to be there,” he said flatly.

“Of course I want to be there!” she chirped, her wings fluttering wildly. “Are you kidding? After all my hard work getting and keeping those two goobers together?” She giggled and leaned back on the knuckles of her wings, one habit she hadn’t bothered to shed. “I’d love to see it, though. Kaffi is such a beautiful flier, and I really think Diwa will be a natural.”

Cole nodded. “I’d like to be there too,” he said. He flashed a quick smile and touched her arm. “My run here at the farm will be done in a few weeks, Annie. You’ll have me for the rest of the summer.”

Anna-Nassi chirped again and clapped her hands together. “Eiyah!” she sang. “This will be such a great season!”

*

Glossary:
“…maianni-naahsah, mani.” (mandossi/tintrite) — “Thank you so much, elder.” A phrase borrowed from tintrite language, it is always used reverently.

Author’s Note: These two chapters are intertwined in that they are specifically about Diwa and Kaffi taking their biggest first steps both as adults and as bonded partners. They’ve both chosen not to fall prey to their own emotional nervousness when exploring their closeness. For Kaffi, it’s learning to trust the moment: he wants to feel comfortable moving into uncharted territory. For Diwa, it’s learning to trust and understand his own emotions.

*

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Diwa’s last day of school was surprisingly uneventful; he had two final exams that morning to take, both of which were relatively easy and low-stress, and he sped through them with confidence and without worry. When he was done he handed in the test packets and textbooks, thanked his teachers and left the classrooms for the last time, glad that this part of his young life was finally over. He spent his time after lunch period cleaning out his locker for the last time and then relaxing up on the roof, waiting for the other three.

Cole was the first one to join him and congratulated him on finishing up and stepping out into the big world of landlording. He was in a surprisingly calm and positive mood; it must have felt great for him to leave a room full of anxious classmates for the last time. Anna-Nassi joined them soon after, announcing her appearance by bursting through the doors one last time, loudly chirping a blissful song of release made up on the spot. She gave them long and tight bone-crunching hugs, so proud of everyone’s hard work.

Kaffi was the last to join, and he was the most reserved anyone had ever seen. He glowed with a sense of contentment and calm that Diwa rarely witnessed before. No nervousness, no anxieties. Just a soothing balance, and quietly humming his own tune, high and melodic. And as he passed behind Diwa he slid his tail softly against Diwa’s back. The gesture made Diwa twitch in surprise and he bit back an unexpected giggle. Kaffi was growing bolder in his desire to be more tactile in their bond.

Diwa found he didn’t mind that at all.

He lifted his water bottle to his three closest friends. “Congratulations all around,” he said. “Here’s to the future!”

“Eiyah!” Anna-Nassi said, lifting her large thermos. “Congratulations to my three buddies that have put up with me since I was a youngling!”

Even Cole joined in, lifting his own bottle. “Congratulations to my three friends who keep me sane and well-balanced!”

Kaffi picked up his own bottle of juice but held back for a few moments before he said anything. He locked eyes with Diwa for a second and gave him the smallest of grins and nodded before he turned back to the other two. “Maianni-naahsah saia di griish leinae,” he said in tintrite, even using his true accent. He bowed his head deeply towards each of them.

“Aw, how sweet,” Anna-Nassi murmured, the bridge of her nose turning a light blue as she patted her chest, holding back happy tears.

“Thank you, everyone, for being such great friends,” he continued. “We’ve helped each other so much in the last few years, and I’m glad we’ve all decided to remain together and work on the estate. I look forward to spending many years together.”

And to drive the point home, Kaffi gently poked Diwa with the side of his tail again.

“You are such a show-off!” Anna-Nassi said with a big grin and a flutter of her wings.

“I learn from the best,” Kaffi said, tipping his bottle her way.

“Eiyah, and such sass!” She chirped again and grabbed a hold of Cole’s arm. “Let’s not go overboard here with the celebration, kids, because we still have Dari’s big party tonight! Are we going to dress up and look our best, or are we going to be our usual dirt-dragged selves?”

“I don’t know about you,” Diwa said, “but I think we should show ourselves off to the estate. They’re putting a lot into this party for us. I mean, it’s for the other kids as well, but especially for the four of us. I want them to see the best of us.”

“Always forward thinking,” Kaffi hummed, glancing at him briefly. “It’s a good idea. Even if it’s just for a few hours, we should look our best. It will give the impression that we’re still serious about our internships.”

“Agreed,” Cole said. “Though I’m sure I’ll never hear the end of it from my family. You know how they are when the youngest of the litter shows off.”

Diwa understood that comment all too well. He’d gotten the same from Aldrine in the past. “The party starts at seven, but ina says she’d like us to get there at least a half hour earlier, so we’ll be at the dais by the time the rest of the estate comes in.”

“Ai, we’re going to be on stage, aren’t we?” Anna-Nassi bristled.

“Afraid so,” Kaffi said, and turned to Cole. “You’ll be okay with that?”

Cole nodded. “I can prepare myself for it. I’ll be good for at least three hours or so.”

Satisfied, they all gave each other a whooping cheer, satisfied that the longest chapter of their lives so far had finally come to a close, and were looking forward to what the rest of their lives had in store for them.

*

“Kaff?”

“Hmm?”

“What are we doing at the head table?”

“Hmm. I’d say being celebrated. Or something.”

“I feel stupid. This is embarrassing.”

“We all do. Give it another hour, you’ll be okay.”

“That’s what you said an hour ago.”

“I did? Hmm. Give it two more hours then.”

“Ugh.”

Diwa learned that evening that he might fine with celebrations, but he was not a fan of being a guest of honor. He’d rather be part of the crowd, not the subject of its cheering. It wasn’t helping that his mother came over to their tables every few minutes, hugging and cheering all four of them in her own unique mix of Tagalog and English. Kaffi was taking it all in stride, fully enjoying the attention he received from friends, family, and community. He’d gone so far as to polish his scales, tame his mane and wear one of his fancy dress shawls. He was quite a handsome young tintrite when he dressed up for the occasion!

At the other end of the table, Anna-Nassi and Cole were sitting close together, constantly chattering and laughing with whoever stopped by. She’d kept close to Cole to make sure he didn’t feel overwhelmed by it all, and from the looks of it, he seemed to truly be enjoying himself. That made Diwa happy, as he’d been concerned for him for most of the afternoon. He managed to catch his eye a short time later and gave him a smile and a thumbs-up. Cole patted Anna-Nassi’s hand in response and nodded back to him. Annie glowed in response, taking his hand and squeezing it tight.

“I never noticed,” Diwa said, more to himself than to Kaffi. “Those two seem to have bonded in their own way, haven’t they?”

Kaffi tilted his head at him. “Annie and Cole? Yes. I’ve noticed a change in the last few weeks. They balance each other out quite well.”

“They’ve been doing that for years. Guess I never noticed until recently just how deep that connection goes.”

Kaffi squeezed his hand. “Hmm. They’re probably saying the same about us right now.”

“You’re right, they probably are. I’m sure Annie’s already created a hilarious and convoluted headcanon about us now that we’re bonded.”

Kaffi stifled a giggle. “Ai, Diwa, you’re as bad as she is sometimes!”

The rest of the evening was thankfully a blur. An unprecedented number of tenants had attended the celebration dinner, so much so that they had to clear and set up a second room of tables to take care of the overflow. Those who hadn’t stopped by for the dinner stopped by later in the evening to congratulate the students for finishing their year. Diwa’s mother had spent the entire time running back and forth, checking in on all the parties as well as the catering and the servers, always with a laugh and a smile. Diwa smiled whenever he watched her rushing from one table to the next, as she seemed so blissfully happy. Ina was completely in her element when she was working behind the scenes like this. She may not have wanted Samuel’s job, but she certainly kept herself visible as much as possible just the same.

It was nearing ten o’clock by the time the party started to break up and everyone returned to their homes. Diwa invited the other three to his roof for a personal post-party gathering, but Cole and Anna-Nassi had both begged off. They were both still in high spirits, but they were exhausted. Anna-Nassi gave bone-crunching hugs all around, and to everyone’s surprise, so did Cole. He was certainly making the best effort tonight. They wished them both a good night and saw them off.

Which left Diwa and Kaffi alone on the roof of Palm, leaning up against the railing and taking in the view. There was a faint glow of the city center far off in the distance to the northeast, but otherwise the night was clear and full of stars. A few tenants were still lingering outside the community center, their voices echoing across the green. Traffic was light on the main street just outside the estate. Their fathers were across the way, standing side by side on the roof of Building C, deep in conversation.

Diwa let out a slow breath and patted his swelling stomach. “Well, that’s over with,” he said. “I have met and talked with every single tenant at this estate, I have shaken far too many hands, I am knackered, and I am absolutely stuffed.”

Kaffi stood next to him, his hands resting against the railing. “Hmm. I’m sure I won’t need to feed again until Monday.”

“Yup.”

Diwa glanced at him. “You had fun?”

Kaffi’s mouth pulled into a light grin. “Yeah. You?”

“Yeah. Better than I expected. A lot better.”

“Good.”

Diwa pushed off the railing but remained at Kaffi’s side. “Well. Now what?”

“Hmm?”

“Commencement tomorrow, but that’s it. We’re done.”

Kaffi dipped his snout and softly tapped his talons against the railing. He hummed long and low. “Then our lives begin.”

Diwa nodded, fighting off a shiver.

Kaffi reached out and let his hand hover over Diwa’s shoulder for a second or so.

Hummed quietly. Shifted it to the opposite shoulder, pulling Diwa into a slow embrace.

“Nagtagumpay tayo, Diwa,” he whispered, tapping the top of his head with his snout. “Kaya masaya ako.”

“Hmm,” Diwa said with a happy sigh, leaning his head against Kaffi’s arm. “That we did.”

*

Glossary:
“Maianni-naahsah saia di griish leinae.” (tintrite) — “Many thanks to my dearest friends.” It is considered a high honor to be told this, which is partly why Annie reacts so emotionally.
“Nagtagumpay tayo, Diwa.” […] “Kaya masaya ako.” (Tagalog) — “We did it, Diwa. I’m so happy.” It is worthy to note that Kaffi has started speaking Tagalog with Diwa and his family, now that they are bonded.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Diwa spent most of the light rail ride to the town of Griffin Park relaxing and watching the clusters of estates drift by their window. Today, he’d decided, he wouldn’t think about his own in any way, because this trip was about spending time with his bond, and that was all. Their home was in good hands for the next few days while they fell off the grid.

Kaffi sat on the opposite bench, already fully enjoying their brief vacation by occasionally pointing out estates that caught his eye. He especially liked the ones with a bigger and wider campus, perfect for flying. He also liked the looks of the newer plans with the slimmer towers. They all had their own communities of varying sizes, sparking their curiosity as to how they were being run. They wouldn’t be the same as their own estate, of course. Nothing could replace the community they knew and loved.

They spent most of the early afternoon strolling through the center of the small town, stopping at a quiet pub for lunch then following it up with a bit of window shopping. Griffith Park itself was no more than a bustling downtown area close to the light rail station, branching off into smaller neighborhoods the further one went. The park reserve, owned and cared for by the local government, spread out over several hilly and mostly forested acres to the northeast, and was the town’s major tourist attraction. The town itself, meanwhile, prided itself on being a cozy getaway with several gift and craft stores and a few inns.

Kaffi was keen on looking into those craft stores and bought himself a bag full of colorful armband beads and threads. Diwa lost an hour or so in the dusty multi-level bookstore, poring over its selections. With no plan or schedule to speed them along for the first time in ages, it felt strange to be able to enjoy these slow moments together, and Diwa cherished it all. They spent a bit more time walking through the quiet side streets, just enjoying each other’s company. By the time they were on their way into the park proper, they’d bought their remaining camping supplies and were ready for a late afternoon rest before having dinner.

Kaffi hadn’t spoken much the entire time they walked through the park, but Diwa didn’t mind; they were used to such mutual silences. Besides, the park itself had its own sounds and movements to listen to and study. Birdsong filed the air, so many different species calling to each other and claiming their territory. The light breeze rustled the tall grasses of the meadows and the branches and leaves overhead. An occasional sliver of conversation drifted past from other hikers further down the path. The voices and sounds were so different from those of their estate…yet they still understood their meanings. All was calm and safe within the park.

*

Diwa finished putting up the tent, cleared the fire pit, and sat down on the grass, enjoying the view. They’d chosen to set up camp at the high edge of the sloping meadow at the base of this mountain where it offered a breathtaking view of the entire bay, from the clustered city to the north and down to the cove and the clusters of outer estates, as well as the peninsula across the way. The weather was heavenly, warm and breezy, and clear enough that the folds and fissures of Mount Laimora could be seen with the naked eye. This meadow was Kaffi’s favorite place within the park, and not just because of the vista. It was the perfect place for a tintrite to set up camp, as the constant, pleasant winds here provided perfect flying weather. If Kaffi wanted to go out for a solo flight, he would not stop him at all.

Having finished his own errands of gathering kindling and preparing a small dinner to cook over a small fire, Kaffi stepped up behind him, humming happily. “I never tire of this view,” he said quietly, and laid his paws on Diwa’s shoulders. “It reminds me just how lucky we are to be here on this world.”

Diwa hummed in agreement and pointed out towards Mount Laimora. It was an extremely important landmark for local tintrite for numerous generations; it had been one of their original arrival points when they’d first inhabited this area, and soon after they’d turned its inactive caldera into a resting place for those who had passed on. Both he and Kaffi had traveled there for the funerals of elder tenants and relatives in the past.

“Your ancestors are certainly enjoying the view,” he said. “It’s rarely this clear that you can see the ridges and boulder outcroppings from this distance.”

Kaffi hummed again. He gave Diwa’s shoulders a light squeeze and moved closer. His soft underside touched Diwa’s back.

“Hey,” he said softly.

“Yeah?”

Another light squeeze. “You don’t mind this?”

Diwa smiled and patted Kaffi’s hand. “All the physical connection lately? I’m fine with it, Kaff. I know your kind likes to nuzzle and cuddle, especially when you feel at ease with others. I see you and Iliah doing it all the time.”

“I know,” he said. “Just…” A long pause, no humming. Diwa heard him breathing quietly behind him, summoning up his courage. “I don’t want to scare you away, Dee,” he said. Another long pause.

Tentatively, he slid his hands down over Diwa’s shoulders and rested them, one on top of the other, on his chest. “I want…” Another long pause, this time with a slow uncertain hum. “This is the bond I want between us, Diwa. It comforts me. And I think it comforts you. I know some humans can be a bit…weirded out when we tintrite are like this.”

To be truthful, Diwa was a little nervous, having never experienced this level of physical connection with a tintrite before, but he refused to shy away from it. Kaffi was being honest with his own emotions and instincts, so it was only fair that he responded in kind. He wanted to provide Kaffi with the same happiness that he gave him. He leaned back into Kaffi’s soft belly and held his friend’s hands.

“I’m not weirded out,” he said. “You’re right, it comforts me as well. It lets me know that we have a chance at this. The way I see it, Kaff? This is all part of the bonding process. You, me, learning to trust each other in different ways. Figuring it all out as we go.”

Kaffi let out a long, slow hum of contentment. “You’re sure about this?”

“Of course,” he said.

“I’m glad.”

Diwa smiled again and gave Kaffi’s belly a playful nudge. “In fact, it’s kind of comforting. You make a good pillow.”

Kaffi chittered a quick laugh. “Perhaps so.”

Author’s Note: One might remember the feeling of relief in the finality of one’s school years; for some it’s bittersweet with the stark reminder that friends will scatter all over the place, while others will stick around. For Diwa, knowing that Kaffi will always be there gives him a sense of comfort and stability. For Kaffi, knowing that Diwa will always be by his side gives him a sense of purpose and drive.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Diwa had been busy with so many different projects that he’d almost forgotten about his mother’s annual dinner and party at the community center, celebrating the end of the school year for all the students at the estate. He was more than happy to carve out some time to help like he always did, but this time his mother had flat out refused. Even Mari had butted in, telling him he had more important things and a certain tintrite to focus on than table settings and catering. He finally relented and let them fuss over their plans without him.

As it happened, this gave him loads of free time during the evenings on the last week of school. He was already halfway through his finals, feeling confident that he did not need to drive himself to exhaustion studying for them. He had two more tests to take and the commencement to attend, and that was it.

No more school. Just him, Kaffi, Annie and Cole, and their estate internships.

Mari and both of his parents headed over to the community center for the party preparations just after dinner. That first evening, he’d decided to relax on the balcony. He leaned against the concrete railing, watching the various tenants milling about on the green below. A surprisingly large number of his neighbors were also gathering at the center. His ina must have something big planned, which did not surprise him at all. She could never pass up the chance of going all out with any kind of celebrations! He listened to the chatter below, catching snippets of conversation. The mood was light and happy.

He peeked over at the concrete five floors down. Not for long, just for a few seconds at a time. He knew he was safe, and these reinforced railings were not going anywhere. He was already used to this height, even though he still felt a ghost of vertigo. He wouldn’t fall. Thanks to Anna-Nassi’s training, he’d realized the one person he had to trust even more than Kaffi was himself. He might feel nervous, but there was no way he could fall.

On the second night, however, he’d decided to relax on the center green instead, reclining on a small knoll near the playground. It was warm and quite peaceful tonight. He said hello or waved to the tenants as they went by, but didn’t get to engage in any long conversations, as they too were heading over to the community center.

A short time later, he heard the familiar flapping of tintrite wings.

Kaffi!

He was much higher than his usual altitude this time out, soaring in a simple figure-eight pattern over the green. Diwa’s heart raced as he suddenly remembered: this was the first night he’d be performing his extended flying exercises with both saddle and deadweight! He watched him closely and in silence, completely enraptured. Kaffi’s usual carefree flight patterns were completely gone, replaced by a smoother, more streamlined movement as he circled above. He was no longer straining with the added weight of the saddle now that he’d prepped himself for it. But that love for the air was still there, stronger and more nuanced, coming through as a fancy curve or a playful swoop. Kaffi loved to learn new things about flight, and Diwa had noticed a significant rise in Kaffi’s confidence because of it. After a few circuits, he noticed a change in pattern as well…he flew a more detailed route, making two double-loops, then a circuit around the entire green, then cutting across it diagonally from one far corner to the other. He repeated it over and over, rarely changing.

It was quite peaceful, watching his friend fly like that. Such dedication…

Kaffi caught his eye during one of the diagonal crossings and gave him a brief wave and a chittering hello before continuing his exercises. Waving back, Diwa smiled and felt a warmth in his heart. Kaffi was amenable to letting Diwa watch him practice.

Kaffi made several more loops that evening before turning back to the roof of Building C. They waved at each other one more time as he soared over. Diwa pushed himself up, brushed himself off, and headed back towards home, absolutely thrilled that he’d witnessed Kaffi’s first flight wearing the saddle and practice deadweight. They’d meet up on the roof of Palm later in the evening, after dinner, which had become a nightly habit for them. He looked forward to asking him all kinds of questions about his flight, comparing notes and asking questions. He wanted to know everything.

*

Kaffi enjoyed having an audience of one, especially when that audience was Diwa. He rarely missed one of Kaffi’s practice sessions. He’d been at his balcony railing across the way, watching him do his stretching exercises. He’d been on the roof of Palm when he began the first of the basic flight exercises. He’d been back on the balcony when he’d started wearing the saddle. And he’d been there earlier tonight, stretched out on the grass, when he’d first flown with the added deadweight.

And here he was now, once more on the roof of Palm, watching him as he came in for a landing on the patio. He stood a short distance away from the edge of the roof, but much closer than he’d seen him go before. He’d waved earlier, even flashed him a smile, but he seemed much more reserved than normal. He got this way whenever things weighed heavy on his mind. He sidled up next to him and gave him a playful sideways nudge.

“You’re being rather introspective today, Dee.”

“Hmm,” he said, nudging him back. “Two more days left of school, Kaff,” he said. “Then it’s full time for us here at the estate.”

Kaffi snorted at him. “No, we still have your manae’s big party tomorrow night. Then we have commencement. Then we fill out the official paperwork with our paddir. Then it’s full time for us. You sound apprehensive about it.”

Diwa waved his concern away. “Just trying to keep track of all the time going by, is all.”

Kaffi fought the urge to nudge him with his snout, like he often did with Iliah. “It’s more than that.”

“Maybe I’m a little freaked out.” He turned and met his eyes. “You know? That we’re really doing this. Part of me can’t wait for us to get started, but part of me is still thinking, how did we get here so quickly? Is this really what we want? Is this the right thing for us to do? Are we even doing it right?”

Kaffi gave him a comforting tap on the shoulder with his talon. “It’s not a prison sentence, Dee.”

Diwa tapped him back on the arm. “True enough.”

“You know we can change it up if need be. Whatever works for both of us.”

“I know.”

Kaffi tilted his snout at him. “What brought this on?”

“Eh,” Diwa grunted. “Samuel. I just got to thinking, is all. Seeing our fathers all chummy and my Pop in a good mood again. Whatever issue they’d had earlier, it’s gone for now.”

“That’s a problem?”

“Heh, no…” he said, flashing an honest smile at him. “It’s actually a plus. It just felt like Pop was, I don’t know…listless? He’s been like that for a few years, like he lost his way. I guess I’m just worried about falling into that same trap myself.”

Kaffi butted up against him and gave him a good hard prod on the arm. “Hah! Like that will happen. I have no plans to make your life boring and miserable, Dee. Trust me on that.”

Diwa laughed and butted him back. “I’m holding you to that, you know.”

“Good.”

Diwa followed that up by walking closer to the edge of the patio. While the platform was not flush against the edge of the roof – there was a wide walkway between the patio railing and the roof edge itself – Diwa had rarely ventured this far before. Kaffi caught up beside him at the railing.

“Nice view,” Kaffi said with a smirk. “Mine’s better.”

“I’m sure it is,” Diwa said, and turned away, laughing quietly. “We must look like our old paddir right now, lording over our estate like this.”

“Sorry if I can’t quite pull off paddir’s scowl.”

“You ever figure we’d make it this far, Kaff?”

“One thing to dream it, another to get to that point.”

“Hmm. You sound like Tassh.” Diwa slid into another silence, lost in thought and passively watching and listening to the central green. It was early evening and not much was going on outside. They could hear a quiet murmur of things going on at the community center, but other than that, it was quiet and peaceful. Kaffi watched Diwa for a few moments, concerned but not worried. He’d known his friend would have fears and worries about what came next, especially so close to when it all became a reality. It was a very human trait, one that he’d seen countless times. He trusted Diwa would find his way out of it somehow.

“Hoy, Diwa,” he said, changing the subject. “I think we need to unplug ourselves from it all for a little while. Get our wings back on stable air. Get the stress of school and training out of our heads for a few hours. Want to go stargazing this weekend? After the commencement and everything?”

Diwa’s smile brightened. “That’s a great idea!” he said. “We haven’t done that in ages. Clear our heads, start fresh when we return. Same place, up at Griffin Park?”

“Sure,” he said, his wings fluttering with joy and maybe a little bit of embarrassment. “We’ll take a transport there as usual…I don’t want to rush our flying just yet. If that’s okay with you.”

“Fine by me,” he smiled. “I’m looking forward to it.”

Kaffi nodded slowly, tapping him on the arm with his talon once more. “So am I.”

Author’s Note: Sometimes when all your friends are experiencing their own life changes, you might feel a little left behind. Do you struggle to catch up? Do you wish you had the same goals and desires? Or are you unsure of what you yourself want?

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Cole had no reason to complain, really. Everyone was far too busy now to take much notice of him as he trudged his way from one class to the another, day after day. They were all focused on finishing their semester projects, daily homework, and studying for final exams. He was doing the same, of course, so he didn’t bother to pay all that much attention to his classmates anyway. Despite distraction, disability, and anxiety, he felt lucky that he was able to be such a good student with impressive grades.

His three best friends were more distracted and busier than he’d ever seen them, so he understood that he might be super high on their list of immediate priorities. Kaffi had been spending the late afternoons with his paddir, learning how to move and fly with a saddle strapped to his back. His body was already starting to show a change, just weeks after he’d started; his wing muscles were becoming stronger, his chest growing broader. He’d known other tintrite at their school who’d done so at a younger age, and Cole was certain that they were viewing Kaffi as a bit of a late bloomer, but Kaffi ignored all that. He kept himself completely focused on his training and preparing for his maiden flight with Diwa.

When Diwa wasn’t busy watching and studying Kaffi’s training sessions – sometimes to the point of obsession – he spent his time with Anna-Nassi. Cole wasn’t quite sure what they were doing, as the energies drifting off them afterwards were strange and unreadable. She was trying to cure Diwa of his nervousness of heights, but it seemed like more than that. They were forming a bond of trust that he hadn’t expected. Between Diwa and Kaffi, sure. That was the end goal, what was needed for when they bonded. And Cole had his own bond with Annie that he treasured daily. But he didn’t know what to make of this special connection between Annie and Diwa. It just seemed so unexpected of them.

It made him feel even more left out than before.

Later that morning, Ms. Powers flagged him down as he was heading towards the library for his free period. Like Annie, he’d been avoiding her office more out of a lack of preparation than fear, but lately he’d grown tired of that charade. Who was he trying to kid here? He already knew what he wanted to do; he just wasn’t sure how to express it with the other three. And he’d grown tired of not sharing that with anyone. He had no reason to say no this time, so he willingly let himself be brought into her office.

“Good morning, Cole,” she said in her quiet, calm voice. She’d pulled herself back as much as possible so her energies wouldn’t intrude or distract him. She’d muted most of her emotions other than the concern and care that went into her everyday job. She didn’t have to go out of her way like that, but he appreciated the gesture. “These final weeks are going well for you?”

“Fine as can be,” he smiled. And they were. Academically he felt no stress at all. It was a matter of just getting it all over with. Finish the projects, do the homework, take the exams, and try to make it through the sensory overloads of commencement and school-end celebrations. Taking it as it comes. “Just counting down the days at this point, Ms. Powers. Doing what needs doing until it’s done.”

“Good, good. Have you made any further considerations regarding your post-school career?” she asked, because that was of course her job to do so. But there was a hint of empathy there as well…she understood that he had a much harder uphill battle than most in life. Again, she didn’t have to go out of her way like that, but he’d appreciated it anyway.

“Some,” he said, shifting in his seat and leaning forward. He wanted to be as active in this conversation as he could. “I’ve been thinking more about the farm co-op with our estate, like we’ve talked about before. My parents will be working there full-time starting in a few weeks, and I’ve been thinking about working there for the summer. That way it will be fully functional and ready for our tenants by harvest.”

Ms. Powers frowned slightly in thought, but she nodded at him, and made a few notes on her tablet. Not concern, but unexpected interest. “Is this something that you’d like to do long term, or is it temporary?”

He felt a wave of irritation – his own – but he held it close. “I’m not sure at this point,” he said. “I’m keeping options open right now.” And because he sensed another frown coming from her, he added, “It depends on whether the co-op is a good fit for me, or if I’d like to return to the estate and help there instead.”

She nodded again, taking more notes. “I’ve spoken to your friend Anna-Nassi recently. She tells me that you and a few of your friends have big plans for the estate.”

Cole smiled briefly. So many people were saying that lately! “I wouldn’t call them big,” he said. “Just long-term future plans. Some of us would like to stay on after our parents retire. The four of us have been talking about it for a while now.”

“Okay,” she said, and slowly placed her tablet down. “You sound like you’re still questioning your role in all of this.”

He flinched without meaning to, but it was too late to hide it. “You might say that, Ms. Powers,” he said. “I’m not entirely sure where I fit in.”

She sat there for a moment thinking it all over. He bowed his head and looked away, fidgeting with his hands. The words were out there in the open now. He was relieved that they were, but the irritation of unresolved issues still nagged at him. He steeled himself for the usual pithy and frankly unhelpful suggestions that he’d come to expect from everyone else.

Her response, however, was unexpected. “I think working at the co-op during the summer might be the perfect thing for you, Cole,” she said kindly. “I know you’ve been looking forward to its evolving connection with your estate, and you want to be a part of it. This is your strength, Cole: you might not want to be the leader, but you’re definitely someone who likes working behind the scenes and observing how everything works, and it’s one of your best strengths. I’d say, go ahead and work at the co-op for the summer, see how it fits you, then see how it fits in with your life at the estate. Sometimes you need to distance yourself from everything temporarily, that way you can look at it with a clearer mind.”

She wasn’t wrong, on multiple levels. That was his exact thinking over the last few weeks anyway. He’d been looking forward to working at the co-op ever since early spring, and now that it was only a short time away, he found himself drawn to the place even more. The only thing holding him back was himself. A wave of relief rushed through him, hearing this from someone else he trusted, and he smiled at her. “Thank you, Ms. Powers,” he said. “I think I might just do that.”

*

Finally having a solid plan made him feel less stressed, but also left him more frustrated.

He sat alone in the far corner of the library, mapping out what he was going to do for the summer. He didn’t worry about explaining his plan to Diwa and Kaffi as they already expected him to spend time there…it was Anna-Nassi he was worried about. She’d happily accept whatever choice he’d make and back that up by respecting it fully, but he was afraid that it would still hurt her somehow. He wouldn’t make a concrete decision until he talked to her first.

But that was just part of the frustration he felt; this was a position that was expected of him by his family and a considerable portion of the tenant’s committee. Between his struggles with the Steiner-Hedraac and his indecision with his Future Calling, he feared they would try to push him into this field of expertise whether he wanted it or not. That was the thing: he did want to work at the co-op. He enjoyed being there with his parents, working with the other farmers and warehouse workers. There was a distinct pride he felt in helping with the harvesting, knowing he was providing food and grain for numerous families and shops in the area. But like Diwa and Kaffi, he wanted to do this all on his own, without their influence. But what did he want to do?

Perhaps Ms. Powers was right; maybe he did need to distance himself from the estate, at least for a little while.

Author’s Note: If your desire is to reach your goals as soon as you can, don’t wait for the right moment to start, as that doesn’t exist. Find a way to make it happen as soon as you’re ready for it, even despite the obstacles that will no doubt arise.

Author’s Second Note: I would not recommend using Anna-Nassi’s quite unconventional method to work through mild basophobia if one is not ready for that kind of thing, though I know her heart was in the right place.

*

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Kaffi felt awkward in this getup, but he refused to give in to embarrassment. This was the first day of training while wearing his own saddle for the first time, and he was not going to be petty about how weird or uncomfortable it might be. To be honest, it wasn’t nearly as bad as he’d expected it to be considering it was in his size and not one of his paddir’s oversize saddles, so he had no real reason to complain. He could easily move his wings and his limbs without anything blocking his movement or chafing at his scales. He could breathe quite easily, and the weight was no more than maybe a few extra pounds on his back. He understood it would put a bit of extra strain on his flight at first. And definitely no more tricky curves or dives for a while, at least until he learned how to maneuver better.

Graymar stood tall before him and adjusted the last belt latch, told him to drop down to all fours, and scuffled back to look over his handiwork. He hummed repeatedly, tilting his head one way and then the other. “It fits well?” he said.

Kaffi nodded. “It fits just fine.”

“Hmm.” He began circling Kaffi, studying him. It made him extremely nervous; his paddir had never watched him with such clinical eyes before. “Extend your limbs, not too far,” he said, and Kaffi responded, stretching his arms forward and his hind legs back. This caused his lower back to arch just a bit, his spine bumping up against the saddle. This in turn caused the straps to tighten ever so slightly. It was snug, but not restricting.

“Hmm,” he continued, coming around his front again. “Straighten up, then wings out, full span.”

Kaffi returned to his previous pose then stretched his wings out as far as they could go without straining. He felt his wing muscles pulling up against the straps; again, not uncomfortably so. No restriction at all.

“Hmm. You may retract them again. This fits you well, Kaffi, better than I thought it would. These strap settings will work for now, until you start building more muscle. Which you will now that you will be carrying extra weight. They should be against your body but only just. As you see, the latches are simple to work, and the straps have a long enough lead so that you can adjust them as necessary.”

“Yes, paddir,” he said. He suddenly felt an itch just underneath the saddle, where the blanket hit his spine. Eiyah, why did that have to happen now? He squirmed just a little bit and it went away, but now it felt as if the saddle had misaligned itself. He moved just a little bit more, and it slid back into place.

“Don’t worry about discomfort,” Graymar said, nodding. “You will get used to it, but the first few weeks may be quite irritating. I sometimes use a little bit of scale polish before putting on the saddle, which helps them from feeling dried out. There shouldn’t be any chafing, but if there is, let me know and we can make further adjustments.”

“I certainly will,” Kaffi said, giving him a quick smile.

“Next, mobility,” he said, and pointed towards the opposite edge of the roof. “Walk to the edge and back, at whatever pace and position suits you.”

It was an easy enough thing to do, though there was a bit of awkwardness to it when he walked on all fours. The saddle’s weight shifted from side to side just enough that had he been walking too fast, it would eventually scrape against his scales. He kept the fours-walking to a minimum and memorized the speed that felt the most natural and with minimal wobbliness. It was much slower than his normal gait, but he’d expected that. Again, something he could get used to over time. Once at the opposite edge of the roof, he turned to face Graymar. He was still standing close to the edge facing the green, on his hinds and holding his hands at his belly, his snout pointing down. It was hard to hear, but Kaffi could just about make out his slow hum of contemplation.

“Good, pahyoh,” he said. “Now back. Try walking on hinds this time.”

He pushed himself up and was surprised at how easy the shift was. The saddle slid ever so slightly, and its weight moved from the middle of his back to his hind legs. It felt no different than if he was carrying something in his arms or in a satchel. There was a lot less movement and no strain at all.

“Eiyah, this is so much more comfortable!” he laughed.

Graymar nodded slowly and smiled at him. “Indeed. This angle is natural for us. This is also the primary reason why we rarely have our rides in saddle when we walk on hinds; the angle is too awkward for them. The only time you’d be in that position with a rider is if you’re about to perform a flat ground take off.”

Kaffi grunted at the thought. “I hate those.”

“We all do, but they must be practiced nonetheless.”

Kaffi came up alongside him and looked out over the central green. “I think I can get used to this,” he said.

“Good,” Graymar said, laying a hand on his shoulder. “Because we still have much more training to do.”

Kaffi gave him a big smile. “I’m looking forward to it.”

Graymar snorted and looked away, back over the green. “I’m sure you are, pahyoh. Soon.”

*

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Diwa said, squirming nervously. Anna-Nassi’s strong arms held him close to her body and facing outwards, but she’d left his arms completely free. They were standing on the roof of the guest house behind her cousin’s place not that far from the estate, with only the grass to catch their fall. It might have been just a three-story drop, but it was enough that a hard landing would hurt. Diwa tried not to glance down if he could help it. They were just a few feet away from the edge, and the distance to the ground didn’t seem all that high at all, but it made him shiver just the same.

“Relax!” she giggled, giving him a playful hug. “Really, I mean it. Relax your body. I promise I will not drop you.”

“And if you do?”

“Then I go down with you, neh?” she teased. “Seriously, Dee. Stop squirming, you’re only making it worse.” She’d opened her wings to full extension and began walking closer to the edge of the roof. Her wingspan wasn’t nearly as wide as Kaffi’s, but they were just as strong and impressive, folds rippling slightly in the breeze. “Now remember: my arms are strong, and they can certainly hold you, but I’m giving you a little bit of freedom to move. Not squirm! But move. Why is that?”

Diwa tried not to squirm. “So I can move around and complement whatever movement you make instead of being floppy deadweight?”

“Precisely!” she chirped. “And why do you need to know about complementing the flight’s movement?”

“…center of gravity?” he offered. His brain hadn’t quite caught up with the situation at hand just yet.

“Well, yeah, that. But it also makes the flight’s movements a hell of a lot easier. If Kaffi needs to do a ground take-off, which way do you move?”

Diwa exhaled. He could do this. Annie was going out of her way to make sure he could. “Rocking, always trying to keep myself vertical,” he said, thinking of how Kaffi launched himself. He could certainly do it, but it looked so strenuous! Being on his saddle would only add to Kaffi’s strain unless he worked with him, and not against him. “Move with his movements, not against them. Rock when he rocks. Lift up when he evens out.”

“Yay! Someone’s been doing their homework!”

He fought off another nervous shiver. “Yay.”

“Ai! Cheer up, Dee. Next question! You are always safe in a regulated saddle because why?”

This one was easy! “It’s connected to the flight with multiple straps,” he said.

“And?”

“The ride is always tethered to the saddle in three places: the pommel belt in front of him, and with each leg in the stirrups.”

“And?”

“My natural posture in a tintrite saddle has my legs gently pushing against his body, keeping me in one place.”

“And?”

Wait. What else? “And…?”

She squeezed him playfully. “Come on, Dee! One more. The most important.”

“The most…?”

Another playful squeeze. “You know this, Dee! The most important reason you are always safe in a regulated tintrite saddle. More than anything else!”

It took him a few moments to understand what she was getting at. “Oh! Right!” He laughed and shook his head. “Because I have complete trust in my ride!” he said proudly.

“Yes!” she chirped and squeezed him once more. “Good! So!”

Anna-Nassi jumped off the roof of the guest house so unexpectedly, he didn’t have time to react.

“Wait—”

“Open your eyes, Diwa,” she hummed calmly. “You’re airborne now. You can do this.”

He caught his breath…but he didn’t freeze up.

He didn’t look down.

“Come on, Dee.”

He felt that cold shiver in the pit of his stomach and fought it. This wasn’t falling.

This wasn’t falling.

“That’s it. You got it.”

He shifted his body until it balanced with Anna-Nassi’s movements and the shiver went away. This wasn’t falling. They were flying. They were circling in the air above this back yard, quiet and calm. Only a slight breeze. A ripple of leathery wings behind him. He could see where he was going, where they were going. They were moving through the air, in complete control. They were descending at a slow, comfortable speed, lifting ever so slightly again, circling around once more. Annie whispering calming words into his ear as they came around one last time, lifting and straightening out once more, his feet coming back under him. Then gently gliding down towards the grassy lawn below them. He exhaled slowly. He could do this.

He could do this. For Kaffi.

They dropped safely down to the ground. Anna-Nassi let go of him and folded up her wings. He stumbled out of her grasp and stood there, gaping at her.

And then they both fell to the ground, breaking into gales of laughter.

“Eiyah! Nababaliw ka ba, Annie?” he yelped, wiping at his eyes. “I can’t believe we just did that! You want to warn me next time?”

“Maybe!” she said, nodding and grinning widely at him. “Hee! Diwa, my friend, I am proud of you! I distracted you on purpose to prove a point: You trust me completely. You knew I wouldn’t drop you. So once we were airborne, that was the last thing on your mind. And your reactions once we were gliding proves that even further.”

Wait. Did he just…? It all came crashing at once: he was airborne, for the first time in his life. And he survived! He blinked, trying to process it all. “Yes, but…”

“And you reacted perfectly!”

“I did?”

She gave him two extremely animated thumbs up. “You already have the instinct, Dee. You moved when you were supposed to.”

“I…I didn’t even notice.”

“I noticed,” she hummed happily. “Like I said, you have the instinct. I knew you had it in you.”

“I guess I do…?”

“And you were too distracted to be conscious of the height and the initial descent. We weren’t up all that high, but it could still be dangerous for both of us. But we did it together, Dee. The most important lesson here is that you trusted me, and I trusted that you would know what to do.”

“Trust,” he said, more to himself than to Anna-Nassi. His shoulders went slack as he let that sink in. She was right; he’d been too distracted to be afraid of falling, and that confirmed what he’d known all along. “I get that now.”

“You do?” She swept to his side, leaned against heavily against his shoulder and prodded him in the arm, giving him one of her wide manic grins. “Explain. Test time.”

Diwa face was flush with pride and excitement. Why hadn’t he seen this before? He could do this! He could fly with Kaffi! Ay, yes! Their dream could be a reality! “It didn’t quite connect with me before because I didn’t have the context,” he said, measuring his words. “I’ve always trusted Kaffi. He’s my best friend. He’s my bond. I know he’ll be there, just like I’ll be there for him. And when I said I trusted you, Annie, I meant it. I knew you wouldn’t harm me, no matter how crazy your ideas might be. When I climb into the saddle to fly with Kaffi, it’s not just about the safety precautions. I’m putting my life in his hands.”

She released her weight on him but remained close, touching his arm. “Wings, but I’m just being pedantic,” she hummed. “And it’s not just that. He’s putting his life in your hands as well. You need to learn how he moves, what he’s thinking. That’s part of the training the two of you will need to work on your own, but I’m giving you the basics.”

Diwa nodded, thinking it all over.

Then gave her an easy smile. “You just wanted to get your hands on me.”

Anna-Nassi chirped out a surprisingly loud “Hah!” and immediately clasped her hands around her mouth, the bridge of her nose turning a dark blue. She punched him hard on the arm and fell into another fit of giggles. “Neh! Diwa! Shut up! I did not!”

“So we’re even?” he smiled.

“I owe you for that particular remark, but otherwise yes!” She pulled him into a fierce hug. “I’m proud of you, Dee! We meet tomorrow afternoon after school, same time. I teach you balance!”

*

Glossary:
“Nababaliw ka ba, Annie?” — (Tagalog) “What is wrong with you, Annie?”

Author’s Note: Samuel and Graymar are certainly proud of their sons and the decisions they’ve made so far…but they can’t help but wonder how those same decisions will affect themselves. For one, there’s parental concern. For the other is wary relief. Two different reactions, yet entwined by their sense of responsibility.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Samuel leaned back in the deck chair, legs crossed, a cold beer on the table and a few more in the cooler next to him. Summer was coming early to the bay, and he was bound and determined to enjoy as much of it outside as he could. Especially up here on the roof deck! Besides, he’d earned it – over the last few weeks, he’d managed to clean out over half of his office with the help of Diwa and Anna-Nassi, and he was feeling so much less stressed out because of it. Granted, cleaning was only half of a bigger project he had in mind. They’d need to create a new filing process and a new workflow that worked both for himself and for Diwa. They’d have to replace the window and purchase some new furniture. And most importantly, he’d need to rip out that old, tattered carpet and either replace it or put down new hardwood flooring. He might even hire Moffer to inspect the walls. The electric seemed fine, but it wouldn’t hurt to have someone on the estate check it out just to be safe.

But right now? Now was the time for relaxation.

He heard the flapping of tintrite wings a few minutes later. He checked his watch: two-fifteen in the afternoon. Right on schedule. He heard the hesitant flapping of a landing, followed by the two-step drop to the roof. Ta-doop. Always the left leg first.

“Afternoon, Graymar,” he said, tipping the neck of his bottle at him. He pulled out a second beer from his cooler, popped it open, and put it out on the table. “Pull up a bench.”

“Hmm.” Graymar approached his table and stood there for a moment with a slight tilt of his head, studying him. “You know, Samuel…I haven’t decided if you’re fully embracing your semi-retirement or if you’ve finally decided to lighten up.”

Samuel laughed at him. “Is that an attempt at humor, Gray? What’s the occasion?”

“A few things,” he said, and dragged one of the low benches towards the table. He slid down into the seat with a louder than normal grunt and took the offered beer. “First, I’m proud to announce that my young pahyoh is about to accelerate his flight training. My ahpadé Nouia and his pahyoh have graciously gifted Kaffi with his own ride’s saddle and practice deadweight. We picked it up yesterday afternoon. He showed it to Diwa last night.”

“Fancy!” Samuel smiled, and tapped the back of Graymar’s beer bottle with his. “Congratulations are in order, I take it?”

Graymar hummed, bobbing his snout slowly. “He’s got to get used to the added weight first, by the time your son is able to ride with him.”

“Think he’ll handle it?”

The tintrite took a long pull from the bottle. “He’s still impatient, but he’s also determined, Samuel. He’s an extremely fast learner, faster than I ever was. I’m nervous that he might not be taking it seriously, but I want to believe that’s not the case. I trust him, Sam. Knowing him, he will be ready for paired flight by the end of the summer.”

“Huh, that soon?” Samuel took a long swig himself, thinking about his son. Anna-Nassi had promised to help Diwa find a way to overcome his basophobia. He wasn’t sure if Diwa would be able to shake it, or at least combat it, by that time. Diwa was determined in his own way, but this wasn’t something that he could easily turn on and off.

Still, this was Kaffi, and that boy would do anything for him.

“What’s the second?” he said.

“That our sons have decided to bond.”

Samuel spat out his beer and nearly choked in response. “What? Wait, when did this happen?”

“A few days previous, it seems,” Graymar said, tipping back his own bottle again. He was also grinning and not bothering to hide it in any way. In fact, he looked rather proud of himself and their boys! “They haven’t told anyone, but the signs are hard to miss,” he continued. “Kaffi has become more tactile with your son, and Diwa is responding positively, and in kind. Diwa will watch Kaffi’s movements, especially when he is flying. They’ve been spending even more time together.”

Samuel shifted in his chair and sat up straight. Bonded…? Graymar was right; it wasn’t surprising at all, considering their closeness all those years. And they were getting older, already making mature decisions that would affect the rest of their lives. But this wasn’t just a business relationship. This was something a lot more personal, even emotional. Samuel wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it, and perhaps he wouldn’t for a while. He wasn’t against it, that was certain…but he was concerned about Diwa’s dedication. Would his son be strong enough to take that step…?

“How do you feel about it?” Samuel asked.

“Me?” Graymar let out a slow breath through his nostrils. “I’m of many minds about it, as you would imagine. On the one hand, I bless them both. I trust them to see it through, one way or another. Their connection is strong. I worry that they’ve bonded at such an early age, but who are we to judge that, Samuel? I have always trusted my pahyoh, and I of course trust yours equally.”

Samuel nodded, and turned back to the view across the central green. Graymar did not need to explain that any further. He took another long swig from his beer and put it back down on the table. “Well. I won’t say anything to them yet if you don’t. They’ll tell us when the time is right.”

“I agree,” Graymar said, and settled in to watch the green himself. “It is up to them.”

Samuel nodded, and kicked his feet up again, a smile slowly crossing his face.

Author’s Note: It’s not just about making the decision to achieve your goals…it’s also about keeping them alive in your heart, and letting them blossom into greater things.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Tassh stopped digging in the soil and looked up, wiping his brow with a sleeve and studying him with interest. “There’s something different about you today, Diwa,” he said. “You seem to be so much more kriishii today.”

Diwa grinned unashamedly at him and continued to pinch away the dead leaves and shoots as he found them in one of the raised beds. He’d been expecting this since they met up on the green that afternoon to tend to Tassh’s allotment. “Just a lot of positive things going on at the moment,” he said, and left it at that.

“Ah yes, enjoying life for what it’s giving you,” Tassh said, winking and pointing his trowel in his direction. He understood and didn’t need to ask any questions. “Embrace it, annh. It will set you off in so many different directions, but your spirit will always know the right way to go.”

“Hmm. I’ll keep that in mind, Tassh,” he said. “How is your family, by the way? I haven’t seen Moffer in a while. I usually see him coming home from work at night.”

Tassh face screwed up into a mean grimace and made a noise that sounded partly like a grunt of frustration and a whine of annoyance. “He’s been recruited for a temporary project in the city,” he said, stabbing at the earth a little harder than usual. “He’s been staying with our family the last few weeks, so he doesn’t have to travel so far. It’s good pay and it’s only for another month, but it’s put a bit of a strain on Kantah and Koie and I’m exhausted. I’ve been doing all I can for both of them.”

Diwa slowed to a halt, turning towards him. “That’s got to be tough. If you need any help at the house, by all means let me know. I can ask around and get you some part time help.”

“I appreciate that,” he said, his broad shoulders dropping with relief. “I will let Kantah know when I see her later today.”

“No worries, it’s what this estate is about. We’re glad to assist any way we can.”

Tassh snorted and pushed himself up to his knees, his fists pushing into his sides. “You are definitely a dreamer, Diwa,” he said, giving him a wily grin. “You and your friends. Mind you, I’m not complaining. It’s refreshing, is what it is. Sometimes such optimism is hard to come by.”

“I always try to be optimistic, but I try to be realistic as well,” he said, pausing to take in Tassh’s comment. He thought of the many times he’d been led to second-guess himself for being too excited about his ideas. He thought of Kaffi sitting next to him on the light rail, worried about their plans. “It’s too easy to set my hopes too high sometimes,” he added.

“Heh. You sound like Samuel.”

“I should!” he laughed. “He’s thrown those exact words at me multiple times over the last few years!”

“Ha! My annoh has given me that same advice as well.”

“Well…” He stood up, wiping sweat from his brow and brushing dirt off his clothes. He looked around the estate grounds; it was a quiet afternoon with not too many tenants milling about, though it was never completely quiet. He could hear the echoes of the younger kids at the playground just beyond the hedges. He could hear a few tenants laughing and talking while they walked one of the outer footpaths on the green. He could hear someone in one of the bungalows behind them practicing scales on a woodwind instrument. All was well, and Diwa felt at peace. He turned back to Tassh, flashing a smile at him. “I guess I just have faith in this estate, yeah? If I’ve learned anything from Pop so far, it’s that everyone has different levels of acceptance. Some of our tenants are more than willing to jump in and give a hand to anyone that needs help. Some are extremely social, want to be a part of whatever’s going on. And some are solitary, would rather keep to ourselves and not make waves.”

Tassh stood as well and brushed himself off. “And what about you?” he asked, tipping his horns in his direction.

“Me? That’s a good question.” He looked away in thought, taking Tassh’s question to heart. “I suppose I’m a bit like Samuel and Graymar mashed up. I make it a point to connect with a lot of people for that exact reason. To learn what levels our tenants work at. Get to know who needs help, who’d rather be left alone, and who goes either way and just enjoys the company.”

Tassh shook his trowel at him again, giving him a wide grin. “Yes, but who are you, youngling Diwa? What kind of tenant are you? An outsider? A busybody? A watcher like your father, or part of the community like your mother?”

Diwa opened his mouth to answer, but to his surprise couldn’t come up with a good response. “I bit of everything…I suppose,” he said.

“This is how you are seen by others, Diwa,” Tassh said, nodding at him. “Something to think about, yeah? Come – Let’s take a break. Our allotment will be waiting for us when we return.”

*

Kaffi swooped down onto the railing outside Diwa’s apartment building and nailed the landing on the first attempt. This surprised him greatly, considering he would usually duff it and slide off to the balcony floor, or he’d overbalance and need to kick back off and hover so he could try it again. He hadn’t been thinking about his technique this time, trusting himself and letting it come naturally. He smiled happily as he hopped down to the balcony floor and knocked on the apartment door. Perhaps he was getting more out of his training than he’d expected!

Maricel answered, a big grin already on her face. “Hey there, Kaffi!” she said. “Come on in. Diwa’s busy helping Pop in the back office right now, but I can get him if you want?”

“No, that’s fine,” he said, dismissing the offer with a quick wave. “I’m in the middle of doing rounds so I can only stay for a few moments. I just wanted to give him a message anyway. Can you tell him to come over after dinner tonight?”

She nodded, but she also crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him. He knew that look well, and he steeled himself for the inquisition. Nothing ever got past Maricel, not when he and Diwa were involved. “Anong ginagawa mo, Kaffi?” she said. “He came home yesterday with a big stupid grin on his face, you know. He wouldn’t elaborate, but he was insufferable for the rest of the night!”

Kaffi fluttered his wings and tipped his head innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said.

“Of course you don’t,” she giggled. “I know that look.”

“You do?”

“Yes! You two decided to bond!”

He chittered his fangs together and snorted in amusement. “That is your own opinion, my dear Mari,” he said. “And I am currently in no position to confirm or deny.”

“You are such a bad liar!” she relented with a laugh, and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a squeeze. “Can’t say I didn’t see it coming. Still…ang sayá-sayá ko! Welcome to the family!”

Kaffi’s wings rippled with joy and he draped his arms around her small frame. “Salamat, Mari,” he hummed. “Please…keep it under wraps for now? I don’t want any news to break without Diwa’s okay.”

“You got it,” she said, and planted a kiss on his snout. “You treat him good, Kaff. Or you’ll be hearing it from me!”

He returned to his nestroom later that afternoon, feeling nervous and twitchy. He sat on his pallet bed, looking at the large package he and his paddir had brought back from his uncle’s, sliding his long fingers along the corners. He felt nervous and excited at the same time; the contents of this package were going to assist in one of the biggest advances in his flight training and he couldn’t wait to begin.

He didn’t want to open it just yet, though the temptation was incredibly high, and Graymar had understood his wishes to keep it closed when they brought it home via light rail. He wanted to share it with Diwa first, signifying the start of their long career together. Dee had been sitting in that spot just yesterday, professing that he too wanted to bond, and each time Kaffi thought of that moment he felt another happy chill coursing through him, making his wings flutter.

He wondered if his paddir knew of their bonding plans. He must have figured it out by now, as nothing ever got past him. His manae probably knew as well. Iliah must have known before anyone else; that had to have been one of the reasons why she’d given him that armband.

As long as his family continued to welcome Diwa with open wings…!

His manae soon called him to dinner, even though he was too nervous to eat. He nibbled away at another of Iliah’s delicious dishes, far too distracted. Iliah understood and left him alone. Shahney eyed him once or twice, more out of curiosity than concern. Graymar had said nothing, but he’d already shared his words with him privately earlier in the day. He’d had a long talk with him during the trip back from his uncle’s; one that he hadn’t expected but had treasured. He’d told Kaffi how proud he was of his progress, how pleased he was by his dedication and drive.

But he’d grown silent again by dinnertime, distracted and grumpy and keeping his distance from everyone. It obviously wasn’t anything Kaffi had done or said, so he didn’t feel guilty…but he was still concerned. He’d been tempted to get him to open up, but shied away after Iliah tried and failed, and Shahney had waved the two of them off. He let it go for now. In his heart, he knew that his paddir was indeed proud of him.

*

Diwa arrived a little after seven. He’d brought a few textbooks for a study session, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t be using them right away, considering Kaffi’s bristling excitement. Kaffi let him in and led him towards his nestroom, and his wings would not stop twitching. He hopped onto his pallet bed with much more of a spring in his step than usual, hastily reached over the other side, and placed a large cardboard box in between them. “Come,” he said, flashing a wide smile at him. “Sit. I have something I want to show you.”

Diwa raised his eyebrows, amused. Kaffi could be quite animated on a good day, but he was rarely this close to spilling over with barely contained glee! “Okay,” he said, climbing onto the bed. “What’s in the box?”

Kaffi tapped the top with one of his talons. “Open it and see!” he said.

“You haven’t opened it yourself yet?” he said.

“It’s for both of us,” he said, bobbing his snout. “I want to see what you think of it. I saw it earlier, but I want you to see it now.”

Diwa wasn’t quite used to this side of Kaffi before. Not that he minded, but it would take getting used to. He slipped the interlocked box flaps open and began to push aside the packing pellets that hid the mystery item. His fingers brushed against something hard and round, and took a hold of it try to pull it through the packing material.

His eyes went wide in surprise as he began to uncover what was underneath. No wonder he was so excited! “Whoa! Is that…?”

Sitting in the middle of the box was a ride’s saddle, wrapped up in a light clear plastic. Small and compact, and much lighter than he’d expected.

Diwa couldn’t help but laugh. “It is..!”

“Go on, take it out!” Kaffi said, grinning madly.

Diwa lifted it out of the box and studied it closely. It was a lighter, lower-end style of saddle that was made both of leather and ultra-strong polymers, a perfect starter version for those just starting out in flight. The seat was slightly padded for ride comfort, and the underside was lined with a soft microfiber for flight comfort. The foot wells were hinged for easy storage but locked into place once unfolded. There were also a few small unexplained hooks and eyeholes around the sides that he wasn’t sure about. He’d seen such saddles before, but he’d never seen one up close. He hadn’t expected it to be so light! It was slightly worn and discolored, but it had been cleaned and repaired very recently, and had been kept in good shape.

He placed it on the bed between them. “This was your uncle’s?”

“My cousin’s,” Kaffi said, tapping his fangs together. “He took good care of it after he got a replacement and gave it back to his paddir. And now it’s ours until we buy our own.”

“Yours, you mean?”

He waved a talon between them. “I wear it, you use it,” he said happily. “Ergo, it’s ours.”

“Ours…” Diwa smiled as he let that word sink in. “Hmm. I like the sound of that.”

“So do I, Dee.”

He placed it back in the box, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off it. “Seriously, I love it! Are you going to start training with it soon?”

Kaffi bobbed his head quickly. “Paddir will show me how to wear it and use it this weekend. I’ll need to get used to it first before I start flying anywhere with it.” He reached out and touched Diwa’s hand, patting it twice. “You’ll just have to wait a bit more. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” he said. “Annie still needs to train me, so we have time.”

Kaffi beamed at him, squeezing his hand. “You like it? It’s nothing exciting, but I wanted to share it with you.”

Diwa hummed in response, squeezing back. “It’s great. I’m glad you did.”

*

“Hey, Kaff?”

Kaffi lifted his snout from his reading and glanced at him. “Hmm?”

Diwa pushed his textbook aside and leaned back on the bed. He’d been too distracted to study tonight, even before he’d come over here. He hated to ruin the positive mood they’d shared just a short time ago, but this irritation had been nagging at the back of his mind all day.

“Is there something going on with Graymar?”

Kaffi slowed his movements and held his wings still. “Not that I know of. Why?”

“Well…Pop was in a mood again today. He didn’t seem angry, just upset at something. He won’t tell me what. I thought it might just be his usual thing, but…he was just so happy when they came back from Panooria the other day.”

Kaffi hummed, quiet and extremely low; concerned. “You know how paddir is, Dee. He’s grouchy on any given day. No less than usual lately.” He finally let his wings twitch just a little bit. “He was fine earlier today when we went to pick up the saddle…but he was quiet by the time we got home. I wonder…”

Diwa watched Kaffi flutter his wings again, this time stretching them out to almost full span before pulling them back against his body again. “Flight?” he ventured.

“Hmm. Maybe. He won’t admit to anything, but he has been favoring his right wing lately. If it’s bothering him, it could be affecting his flight.” He hummed again, quick and tight. Concern. “I hope he’s getting it looked at.”

“I’m sure he is,” Diwa said, frowning. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“No, Dee,” he said quickly, his wings fluttering again. “I’m glad you did. I should be more worried about him. I’ll bring it up with my manae.” He rested a hand on his shoulder, brushing a thumb against his skin. “Thank you for telling me. You were concerned about Samuel’s mood. This means they’re aware of an issue. I won’t push him if your paddir is already doing so.”

“I suppose you’re right…” he said, placing his hand over Kaffi’s. “I just want to do the right thing, Kaff. They both needed that positive connection. I just want them to keep it.”

“So do I, Dee,” he said, giving him a soft smile. “So do I.”

*

Glossary:
kriishii (kree-shee) — (aanoupii) in good spirits, emanating a positive outlook
“Anong ginagawa mo, Kaffi?” — (Tagalog) “What are you up to, Kaffi?”
“…ang sayá-sayá ko!” — (Tagalog) “I’m extremely happy!”
“Salamat, Mari…” — (Tagalog) “Thank you, Mari…”

Author’s Note: Everything in this novel has been leading up to this one moment: where their shared future truly begins.

*

CHAPTER TWENTY

Diwa laid at the end of Kaffi’s pallet bed and stared up at the ceiling. They’d both been so busy during the day that they’d almost run out of time to do their schoolwork. He’d been thinking about him off and on throughout the day, wondering where he was and what he might be up to, if he’d enjoyed his trip with Iliah. He’d wanted to ask him about the conversation he’d had with Graymar across the way, as it had started out a little on the tentative side but unexpectedly swerved into an animated exchange of chatter and rippling wings soon after. After their group meeting, however, Kaffi had suggested Diwa come over to his place to study after dinner, and Diwa happily agreed. They’d been wanting to spend more time with each other outside of their estate plans anyway, and this was perfect.

Even if Kaffi wasn’t paying attention to him.

He hunched over his worktable, his eyes glued to the large monitor in front of him as he typed away at the keyboard. He’d been working on one of his term papers for most of the evening, intensely focused and working hard. Diwa watched him, impressed by his dedication. Kaffi might be addicted to flying, but he was also an extremely dedicated student. His grades were often higher than Diwa’s, not that he minded. Kaffi could easily be anything he wanted to be, given time and inclination. Sometimes he wondered if Kaffi truly wanted to stick around the estate with him, but he’d never voiced that concern, knowing how ridiculous it sounded in reality. Kaffi had shown him his conviction so many times over in the last few years, and it never wavered.

Diwa would tell him everything about his basophobia tonight.

Kaffi abruptly stopped typing, rubbed at an eye with the palm of his hand, and leaned closer, reading the text and humming quietly. That was something new; during their vidchats Kaffi always remained silent when he was revising his work. Except that one time, when he thought Diwa had left the room already. It wasn’t just a meandering tune, though, but a full song that he’d heard Kaffi sing before. He said nothing but listened, enjoying the music and silently tapping the beat against his leg as he pretended to read his textbook.

After a few more minutes of work and melodic humming, Kaffi exhaled and uncurled out of his hunch, stretching his arms and wings. “Ai,” he grunted. “I am almost done with this thing,” he said, tipping his head in Diwa’s direction. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a boring host. This one’s taking forever to finish.”

“Doesn’t bother me any,” Diwa said, and pushed himself up. “It’s not as if we’re always yapping at each other when we’re on vidchat.”

“I know, but you’re here, and I’m ignoring you.”

“You need to get that paper done. All I had was some math homework and light reading. Besides, I don’t mind. I like hanging out here. And your room is so much bigger than mine.”

Kaffi snorted and lifted his wings to half-spread. “It kind of has to be.”

Diwa tucked his legs under and looked around the room. “It’s been a while, anyway. Between school and internship, we rarely have time to just hang out. I see you’ve got new shelving up.”

Kaffi glanced up at the wall above his worktable, nodding. “Paddir and I put them up a few weeks ago. The old ones were starting to sag. They were leftovers from Iliah, and I needed more room for my things anyway.”

“Hmm. What’s that?”

Kaffi tipped his head to the side. “Hmm?”

“Above your monitor,” Diwa said, pointing the large folded-up cloth sitting on the highest shelf, well out of his reach. “Looks like a sheet of some kind.”

Kaffi perked up immediately, clicking his fangs in delight, and reached up for it. “Oh! Thanks for reminding me! I’ve been meaning to show this to you when you next came over!” He slid it off the shelf, took two corners and shook it open. It unfurled before him, revealing a large blanket tapestry. It was a simple pattern, going from a dark blue with white dots scattered at the top, fading to white near the bottom; a starfield and a horizon at night. It was bordered by a chevron pattern, alternating light and dark blue.

Kaffi’s snout appeared comically over the top of it with just a little bit of blue showing on the ridge. He flashed such a wide grin his whiskers were twitching. “What do you think? Do you like it?”

“That’s…” Diwa’s brows shot up. “That’s a saddle blanket, isn’t it?” He pushed off the bed and walked up to it, taking up the other corners and running his fingers across it. It was a soft and durable cotton. smooth and strong in his hands. It wasn’t a printed pattern, either…this was hand crafted stitching. It was so new the creases from the folds were still visible. This wasn’t a hand-me-down, this was a brand new, high-end blanket! “Ay, Kaffi! This is lovely! Where did you get it?”

“Paddir bought it for me during their last trip to Panooria,” he said, barely holding back his pride. His wings wouldn’t stop twitching. “My first saddle blanket, Dee. Isn’t it great?”

Diwa smiled in response but he couldn’t quite hide the unexpected shiver he felt. “Ito ang tamang gawin, hindi ba…?” he said after a moment. “It’s wonderful.”

Kaffi tipped his head at him, his wings slowing up. “What?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re holding back, Dee. Is there something wrong?”

“No, no…” he waved at him quickly. “It’s nothing for you to worry about. Here, let me help you fold it up.”

“Hmm,” Kaffi said, and together they wrapped it back up. Kaffi placed it back onto the shelf, eyeing him the entire time. “You’re sure?”

Diwa moved to his side and patted him on the shoulder. “Definitely,” he said. “No worries. When do you think you’ll be ready to use it?”

Kaffi’s wings rippled at the question. “End of summer, looks like,” he said, tapping his fangs together in happiness. “Paddir will be stepping up the flight training. That’s what we were talking about on the roof today. Thing is, he hasn’t given me any details or a schedule yet, so I can’t give you a date.”

“No hurry,” Diwa said, and returned to the pallet bed. “We have all the time we need. I’ve got to do my own studying for it, you know. Being that we have exactly zero experience with flying together.”

“That is true,” he grinned. “No details there either, I assume?”

“Just that Anna-Nassi is involved somehow,” he said tentatively, smirking. “I’m not sure if I should be relieved or terrified. Or both.”

“Hmm.” Kaffi climbed onto the pallet and sat next to him. “I trust her, though. And I know you do too.”

“Hmm,” Diwa said. “I do.”

*

Kaffi sat on all fours on his bed, his paws crossed in front of him, watching Diwa, listening to him talk. He laid across the end and stared at the ceiling, just like he always did, telling him about Anna-Nassi’s unexpected visit at his apartment to help with Samuel. He didn’t seem particularly annoyed or highly bothered by it, but his voice betrayed him. He must be jealous. Kaffi could relate, considering that Graymar still spent more time with Samuel than he did with his own family sometimes. Diwa was indeed hiding something, from earlier. Kaffi wouldn’t push, though. He’d share it soon enough. He always did.

Now if he could only shake his own misgivings…

It was time. He could not wait any longer.

“Dee?” he said during a lull in the conversation. “Can I ask you a question?”

Diwa shifted and glanced at him. “Hmm? Sure.”

Kaffi dipped his head down, looking at his paws, mustering up his courage. Eiyah…now or never. “I’m…” He grumbled and ruffled his wings. Come on, Kaffi, you can do this. “I know I’ve been called a reckless flier, Dee. By my paddir, no less. I know I’m not the most graceful flier here in the estate.”

Diwa smiled and gave him a reassuring tap on the arm. “That’s okay, I’m nowhere near the most graceful human. You’ve seen me trip over my shadow on multiple occasions.”

“This is true.” Kaffi grinned warmly at him, appreciating the levity. “I suppose I’m worried. Worried that I won’t measure up to the flier you expect me to be. Or that I’ll do something dumb and lose your trust. I…I want to earn your trust, Dee. We’ve been friends forever and you trust me on that level, but this is so much more important, yeah? Like the saddle blanket. I wanted to show it to you earlier – practically as soon as paddir gave it to me – but I felt…I don’t know. Worried that you’d feel I was getting ahead of myself? I know it sounds silly, but…”

Diwa rolled over onto his side, propping himself up on an elbow. He expected a smile or a kind laugh, but instead he was unreadable. “Kaff, you worry too much,” he said quietly, without any emotion. He looked down at his hand, fingers tapping on the bed, and took a very slow uneven breath. “Look…I worry too, Kaff,” he said, his voice all too quiet. “I worry that I’m not going to be the best ride. I’ve never flown before. I hardly know anything about flight. I…” he stalled, diverting his eyes. “I want to tell you this, Kaff. I have to.”

“Dee.” He unclenched one of his paws and laid it on Diwa’s flat hand, holding it tight. His skin was warm. Too warm. But he didn’t flinch or pull it away. “Dee,” he said again, his voice low and calm. “Please, I want you to trust me. You can tell me.”

“Hmm,” he said. His face and eyes were reddening, but he didn’t hide it. Instead he pushed himself up into a sitting position, facing him. And he’d taken hold of his paw with both hands, his small fingers wrapped around his larger ones. Briefly rubbed at his eyes, took his hand once more. Held it tighter with more conviction.

“I have…I have mild basophobia. A fear of falling,” he said finally, his shoulders visibly drooping. “It’s not incapacitating. It’s something I’ve had since I was a kid. You’ve seen me on your roof, Kaff. I can go up there and hang out with you for as long as I like. I can even go to the edge and lean up against that same railing Graymar is always at, for a short time. But I get a feeling of vertigo if I’m there for too long.” He lifted his sad eyes and looked deep into his. “I was afraid to tell you since it could be a problem for us. I don’t want this to ruin our plans, Kaff. I can’t let it. I don’t want to give up because of this.”

“Ah…” Kaffi said, his heart fluttering. Dee…my fiiri…!

He let out a long calming hum, refusing to look away. He’d caught Diwa’s gaze at that moment and he couldn’t tear away from it. Diwa needed his strength, and he would gladly give it to him. He would accept this challenge. He would help him. They would fly. Diwa would be his ride. Kaffi would be his flight. They would do this together. “We can work with this,” he said.

Diwa blinked at him. “We…we can?”

He squeezed Diwa’s hand and leaned in close. “Of course we can,” he said softly, tapping his snout against Diwa’s forehead and letting it sit there for a moment. “You and I are ride and flight. We’ll figure this out. We will make this work.”

Diwa let out a shaky laugh and looked away, his eyes moist. “Hindi yata ako nababagay rito…” he mumbled. “Thank you, Kaff.”

“Anytime,” he said, and squeezed his hand again.

“You…you said you had a question?”

Kaffi’s wings fluttered once more and he chittered nervously. This was what he’d originally been leading up to, before Diwa told him his secrets. “Oh. Yeah. Um.” He looked down at their joined hands, allowing himself a furtive grin. Yes, this is what he wanted. “Dee. I know Annie always teases us about it. So does Iliah. But now that they’ve planted it in my head, I’ve had a hard time not thinking about it. They’re right, Dee. I think we are bonded. And.”

His voice started to tremble. “And I think you believe the same. I think we should just stop pretending. You know. Make it happen. On that level.”

Diwa snorted.

Kaffi looked up, catching his eyes again, the response completely unexpected. He felt Diwa’s hands squeeze his so tight, refusing to let go. He had the brightest smile on his face. The tears were coming once more, though they were happy tears. Ecstatic tears.

“Kaff, I…” he said, his own voice caught in his throat.

“Dee, I’m sorry if I—”

Diwa squeezed his hand again, pulling it towards him.

“Kaff!” he said again, giggling. “Ay…higit kang mas malakas kaysa sa’kin…”

“I…?”

“Of course I believe we’re already bonded, you big dork!” He threw his arms around Kaffi’s neck, pulling him into a tight hug, laughing and crying onto his shoulder. “I’m so glad you asked. I’ve been wanting to ask you for months now.”

Kaffi startled and twitched his wings, but he did not pull away. Months…? Eiyah, so his instincts and heart were telling the truth! Oh, this was the best day of his life! They truly were bonded now, leaving nothing unsaid between them. This was the start of their long life together, as ride and flight…and as bonded friends. Always together. He draped his own arms around Diwa, fully embracing him. He let out a long, sonorous hum of pleasure, and let his own happy tears come.

“I’m glad too,” he whispered, leaning his snout against Diwa’s shoulder.

*

Glossary:
“Ito ang tamang gawin, hindi ba…?” — (Tagalog) “This is the real thing, isn’t it…?” This, just like Kaffi’s armband, has more than just one meaning.
fiiri (fee-ree) — (tintrite) best friend, bonded friend
“Ay…higit kang mas malakas kaysa sa’kin…” — (Tagalog) “Ay…you’re so much stronger than I am…”

Author’s Note: Sometimes the biggest changes in your life take place with the smallest of steps.

*

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Graymar and Kaffi stood together at the edge of the roof of Building C as part of their afternoon watch. Kaffi could see Annie and Diwa across the way, having an quiet but intense conversation. Diwa seemed worried, and Annie was doing her best to calm him in her own animated ways. He briefly wished he was over there with them, but knew he couldn’t, not right now. Duty called.

His paddir, on the other hand, seemed highly distracted and irritable today, far more than usual, but as far as Kaffi knew it had nothing to do with any argument with Samuel this time. His ears twitched constantly, and he couldn’t seem to focus on any sounds for too long, and that alone was annoying him. He huffed and scratched at his snout, trying to clear his head. Kaffi said nothing, worried that he’d set him off somehow.

Eventually Graymar’s eyes landed briefly on Kaffi’s arm, and he gestured at it. Not dismissively, but not with any sense of pride, either. “I see you’re wearing an armband,” he grumbled.

“Iliah—” he started.

“She told me,” he said curtly.

Kaffi ruffled his wings and glanced at his paddir with concern. He’d been in such a positive mood a few hours ago when he and Iliah had left. “Is there something wrong?”

Graymar’s snout turned slightly dark, his mouth a tight line. “No…” he said and let out a slow sigh. “Nothing you need to worry about.”

Kaffi knew better than to try to get a clearer answer out of him. He wasn’t angry, or at least not angry at him. Graymar would explain his irritation sooner or later, so he let it go for now.

“Paddir…” he started, changing the subject. “Can we start the flight training soon?”

“Patience!” Graymar said, a little more brusquely than he’d meant to, and immediately felt embarrassed by the outburst. “Ai…” he exhaled, squeezing his eyes shut and grumbling. There was a minute ripple of his wings that he could not quite hide. A moment later, the mood passed and he turned to him once more, touching him on the arm and squeezing it once. “I apologize, pahyoh,” he said quietly, all traces of annoyance now gone. “This is not about you. I’ve just had a lot of personal things on my mind lately, some I am loath to face right now.” He gave him a slow smile, showing just a few fangs. “I know you are eager. I want you up in the air just as badly as you want it. But there are still many things you need to practice. I have watched you over the last month and you have been doing well, but you are still too loose.”

Kaffi bristled and ruffled his wings again, holding back a whine of irritation. “Paddir, I need more experience, I agree. But I can only learn so much doing laps and exercises and carrying packages in my satchels. I’ll be used to that in a few weeks at most. What I need to do is take the next step, paddir. I need to know what it feels like to have a ride with me. Or close to the real thing. How did you practice that before you started flying with Samuel?”

Graymar leaned slightly forward, scratching his snout once more, distracting himself with anything that might be happening on the central green. He hummed low and long; he was irritated, but also maybe a little amused. Embarrassed? “How Samuel and I began flying together is a completely different process,” he said after a moment. “And not one I recommend.”

Kaffi hid a smile. The two of you had no idea what you were doing, he thought. Instead he dipped his snout and faced him directly “How can we make this work, paddir?”

Graymar hummed again, meeting his eyes. His irritation had disappeared for the time being, replaced by a calm appreciation. “I know a way. It will be slow, but it is how many of our relatives learned over the years. I will contact my ahpadé and ask if we can borrow a few things. We will need to go on a short light rail trip.”

Kaffi caught his breath and struggled to keep his wings from rippling with excitement. “Really?” he chirped. “What does it entail?”

His paddir merely grinned at him, humming contentedly. “You shall see.”

*

This might have been just another weekly meeting of future landlords and co-conspirators, but Kaffi was looking forward to it this time out. It had been an unbelievably busy day, and between all that flying and monitoring and errand-running, he couldn’t wait to check in with Diwa again. They’d crossed paths multiple times today, but never for more than a few moments, and he’d grown to miss him since their brief chat this morning. And he really wanted to show off that new armband!

So when they all sat down together at one of the picnic tables on the center green, he sidled up next to Diwa an gave him a happy nudge, glad to be beside him again. “Heya, Dee,” he said. “Long time no see.”

“Well, this is new,” Diwa said, prodding at his arm, already giving it a close study. “You got this today?”

Kaffi smiled proudly, rubbing his talons against the beads. He loved soft clicking sound it made when he did that! He didn’t mind Diwa’s attention either, come to think of it… “Iliah gave it to me during our trip to the city this afternoon. I thought I’d keep it on, get used to wearing it.”

Anna-Nassi had seen it too, and she was practically radiating with excitement, her wings twitching and flittering. “So lovely!” she squeaked. “Diwa, isn’t it? Oh, I can’t believe you’re wearing one of those already!”

“It’s probably past time,” Kaffi smiled. “I’ve always been fascinated by them. My cousins that are around my age are already wearing them. Diwa, what do you think?”

“Interesting pattern,” he said, running a finger over the shapes. “I like how the closer you get to it, the more patterns you see in the beads.”

Kaffi smiled at him, hiding an unexpected shiver of glee. “I’ll explain the symbolism with you sometime.”

“Why not now?” Anna-Nassi asked.

“Later,” he said, giving her a quick wave. “It’s time we started our meeting. I think the fertilizer stink has escaped Diwa’s pores by this point.”

“Hey!”

He playfully prodded Diwa in the arm and quickly changed the subject. “Annie, you said you were looking into having someone come in to look at the apple orchard. Were you able to get anywhere with the committee on that?”

She ruffled her wings and gave an excited nod. “Ooh, yes! It’s looking great! They’ve already discussed the budget for it and they’re meeting tomorrow to put it to a final vote, but my amma is certain that it will pass. They’ve left it to me to research available horticulturalists that might be able to come in and see how healthy our trees are. I’ve got a list from Cole’s parents as well as from Elise-Nooviya, so I’ll go over those in a day or so and see who’s open and what they charge. Once that’s done, we can start in on cleanup. I’m going to ask the tenants for a few volunteers, but I should be able to get enough people, especially if I can get some of the school kids to pitch in. It’s a bit late in the season for some of the varieties we have, but we might be able to save the others. I’ll start phase two upkeep once we have it active again.”

Kaffi nodded, impressed by her level of detail. “That’s great, Annie! Excellent work!”

“Maianni-naahsah, Kaffi,” she nodded, flashing her wide smile at him. “I aim to please.”

“Yes, that’s fantastic!” Diwa added as he scribbled out the meeting notes. “If most of the trees are still healthy, then we should be just fine.” He turned to Cole next, flipping over to another notebook page as he did. “Cole, any word on what might be going on with the co-op farm?”

Cole tapped his fingers against the table in a slow beat, pausing in thought. “There’s not much to report right now. My parents won’t be heading over there for a few more weeks, so I don’t have much information to give. I am, however, researching their hiring practices. I’d like to know how their field workers get paid, available health coverage, and how they would hire those here at the estate. I’d like to be prepared for any questions our tenants might have. It’s quite a complex process that I’m still trying to wrap my head around.”

“Good, good,” Kaffi said. “And you, Diwa?”

Diwa blinked, tapping his pen against the pad for a moment. “Well, uh…Samuel’s back room actually has a bit of a floor to it now,” he said with a lopsided smile.

Anna-Nassi snorted at him. “That’s it?”

“That’s it,” he said. “I wish I had more to provide, but I was gardening with Tassh all morning, talking with you afterwards, then assisting at the community center this afternoon. I mean, unless you’d like to know all the different ways you can serve inashikraw squash and the sordid details of kleeat manure.”

“Oh, come on!” she giggled. “You’ve been busy this week, you’ve got to have something!”

“Really, that’s all I have,” he shrugged with a grin. “But spending all that time with Tassh was kind of fun, to be honest. He’s quite talkative once you get to know him. He might know a lot about construction considering that’s his day job, but he knows even more about gardening. It’s been his passion since he was little. The only reason he’s not in farming is because of his family. He makes the most money out of the three of them and it goes into their rent and their savings.”

Cole tapped his fingers on the table again. “Diwa, do you think he would be interested in working at the co-op full time?”

Diwa pondered the idea for a moment. “He might,” he said, his eyes lighting up. “You know, that’s a great idea. Once we’ve got the hiring straightened out, I’ll float the idea his way, see if he’s interested.”

“We could use as many hires as we can. I think he’d be great for the first wave.”

“I believe he would,” he smiled.

Author’s Note: Diwa’s mild basophobia, which I’d hinted at previously, is actually based on my own. I’m not afraid of heights but get a weak feeling of nervousness and vertigo if I’m too close to the edge of high-up open places, giving me a slight fear of falling. A few years back I learned from my eye doctor that my version might be due to prism issues (my eyes are fine, just that they don’t always align when focusing on a narrow point). More to the point, the issue slightly messes with my sense of heights: my brain is well aware of the altitude, but my eyes think it’s not that far at all, and that disconnect is disorienting. Diwa’s description of the issue below — including the comment about City Hall (in my case, the one in downtown Springfield MA when I was six) — comes directly from my own experiences and resolutions to conquer it.

*

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Diwa toweled his hair dry as he stepped into his bedroom. The long and scalding shower had thankfully removed the stink of the fertilizer he’d been elbow deep in all morning…he’d gotten an earful from Maricel as soon as he’d come back, threatening to lock him out of the house if he didn’t get rid of the smell immediately. But he was clean once more, and no one in the house was complaining. He put on fresh clothes, threw the dirty ones in the washing machine and started it, and headed down the hallway.

It was still early in the afternoon, so it came as a bit of a surprise that he could hear his father down the hall. Samuel had told him just this morning that they’d be working on the back office tomorrow. Maybe he’d finally caught the cleaning bug and wanted to keep it going? Diwa shrugged off a momentary feeling of being left out. The sooner they got this room under control the better, with or without him.

The door was open when he approached it, and there was soft music playing. When did he buy a radio for this room…? “Pop?” he called out. “You in here?”

“Hey, Diwa,” he responded from near the back window. Samuel popped his head up from a waist-high line of file boxes and recycling bins that stretched across the room. “Come on in!”

“Ai!” he heard from the same area, followed by a rustle of wings and a scuffle of feet. Anna-Nassi popped up from behind the wall and gave him a toothy smile. She brushed her hands and vaulted over the boxes. “Diwa!” she sang. “I ran into Samuel earlier today while you were still in the garden and thought I’d help him do some moving. I hope you don’t mind?”

“Uh, s-sure,” he said, surprised by her presence. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were here.”

“She’s been a big help today,” Samuel said, climbing over the wall of boxes. “Now that we have more room, I thought it would make more sense to do a bit of arranging as we go to make the sorting process go by quicker. Thanks again, Annie!”

She smiled and waved to Samuel as she headed towards the door. “Anytime, mani,” she said. She turned to Diwa, her expression changed to a worried concern, and prodded him on the arm. “Eiyah,” she said, leveling her eyes. “Come on, you. We need to talk.”

She left Samuel’s office and headed straight for Diwa’s bedroom. He blinked and stared at her for a moment before following. She’d been here countless times before, mainly for school study sessions or just hanging out, but it was a rarity for her to walk through his house as if she too lived here. There was a quickness in her steps as well; he double-timed it to catch up. “What do we need to talk about?” he asked as they entered his room. He cleaned and straightened his bed covers the best he could and offered her a seat. She hopped on, sitting on her hinds and leaning back on the knuckles of her wings.

“You and Kaffi, of course,” she said, flashing her fangs again in a forced smile. “The reason I was here wasn’t just to help your father. He’d pulled me aside because he had a few concerns about your potential flights with Kaffi.”

Diwa’s heart skipped a beat. His father knew…? Oh, this was not good, not good at all! “Concerns? What kind of concerns? And why isn’t he talking with me directly?”

“Oh, he is, or will be. I just wanted to talk to you as well.” She reached out and laid a gentle hand on his. “You see…he confirmed something that’s been bothering me for a while. He knows about your…what is it, basophobia? Is that the right word?”

“Ai…” he groaned and buried his face in his palm, more annoyed than embarrassed. This was supposed to be a secret! And now Pop was telling everyone within earshot that he couldn’t handle a simple thing like tintrite flight! He did not want Kaffi to hear of this. Not like this, anyway. Eiyah…he’d have to act sooner than he’d like. “Nakakaloka ‘to…it’s not…it’s…” He stuttered to a stop, shaking his head. “It’s stupid, Annie. I’m not mad at you for asking. One of you would have figured it out sooner or later. It’s minor. It’s not a fear. It’s just nervousness. I can handle it. What did he tell you?”

Anna-Nassi hummed and squeezed his hand. “It’s okay, Dee. He didn’t tell me anything embarrassing. He’s just concerned. He wants you to fly. I want you to fly! And of course Kaffi has been waiting forever to fly with you, so that’s where I come in.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Umm…?”

She giggled and chittered her fangs quickly, fluttering her wings at him. “Not me, silly! I might be big and have wings, but I’m not built for that sort of thing.” And just like that, all lightness and cheer vanished, replaced by a deep scowl and a finger, waving at him. “But! I need to coach you. Right now the two of you are a disaster waiting to happen, and it’s up to me and Cole to minimize the damage! You both need training toot sweet! I want you to be the best pilot, Diwa!” The scowl wilted just a bit. “Umm…co-pilot? Driver? Rider? What’s the best term here?”

“Ride,” he said between pursed lips, holding back his amusement.

“Ride, then!” she said happily, jumping right back on track, ticking off each point with her fingers. “So! Cole is working out a new schedule at the community center so you two lovey-doveys have more time together. Samuel already gave me the go-ahead for that, and your mother only requests that you join her for a few hours baking on the weekends. Maricel agreed only if you don’t slack off your daily chores at home, and I concur. No laziness there, Diwa! Meanwhile, Kaffi will still be flight training for most of the summer with Graymar and he’ll be doing some tenancy committee work with Shahney as well – oh, and that leaves Iliah, who will be joining Dee and Dari in the kitchen – which leaves me a few months to get you ready. Whew! So! My main plan, then, is when you two finally start flying, it will be like you’ve been flying for years. Neh?”

He stared at her for a few moments, equally shocked and impressed by the level of detail in her outline. He saw the determination and excitement in her eyes…ai, how could he possibly say no to Annie? “What will this entail?”

“Well, we will see when we get to it,” she said, and patted his hand one last time. “All I ask is that you trust me.”

“You know I do,” he said.

“Ut!” She quickly held up her hand. “This is different! I will push you. I will push you hard. I will do stupid things to make you learn! I will make you mad and annoyed! I will make you do things that will make you question my sanity!”

“More so than usual?”

“More so than usual! But this is to help you, Dee. Because I believe in the two of you.”

He couldn’t help but smile at her. She may be a handful, but she was unfalteringly loyal. “Oh, stop it with that!”

“But I do!” she said, giggling again. She prodded him once and then pulled him into a hug. “You’re my ahpé, Dee. I know you can do this. I want you to do this.”

“Okay, okay…!” he said, squirming in her arms. “You win!”

“Come on, let’s go to the roof and talk some more.”

*

“You say this fear is mild and not acute?” she asked. They stood side by side on the roof of Palm, leaning up against the outer railing, past the roof patio. Standing next to the edge like this was second nature to her, so she found it hard imagining how Diwa felt. Then again, she was the one with gliding wings if she fell…Diwa was a human with no flight appendages at all. She watched him as they talked, and on the surface everything was normal. He didn’t give any hits that he might be nervous right now.

That is, until he pushed off the railing and started pacing a short distance from the edge, only a few minutes after they’d come up here. He’d done this in the past, too…so now she wondered how long he’d been hiding it, fighting it, for the sake of others. He distracted himself temporarily by glancing at the roof of Building C across the way, where Graymar and Kaffi stood side by side, looking out over the green. Annie felt the minute change in mood; for a moment, the nervousness disappeared as soon as he locked his eyes on them. He saw them as safe, as visual anchors.

That could be the perfect answer Annie was looking for!

“That’s right,” he said eventually, his hands jammed the pockets of his jacket. “I don’t get too dizzy or freeze up with fear or anything. I just…” He scratched the back of his head, looking away but not frowning. He was uncomfortable, but he was willing to share with her. “I just get nervous. Like a very weak sense of vertigo, or I feel like my sense of balance goes a bit off.” He sighed with worry and turned back to her. “Annie, do we—”

“Yes!” she said, waving both her arms and wings at him. “Dee, this is your future we’re talking about. Now, next question: you’ve been on rollercoasters, yeah? I’ve seen you ride the one at Wesley Park. That’s a crazy ride, even I rarely go on it, but I’ve seen you on that one every time we visit. Multiple times! Those heights don’t bother you, do they?”

“Just the first climb and drop,” he said, amused by the question. “But that bothers everyone.”

“The jostling? The twists and sharp turns?”

“I’m fine. No less than anyone else. I love those, actually.”

“Hmm.” She tapped a finger against her chin. “Do you know where this fear comes from?”

He nodded, slowing his pace again and came closer again, though stopping a few feet from the railing. “I think I do,” he said. “I had a prism issue with my eyes as a kid, and still do to some extent. My eyes don’t always have pinpoint focus, even though my vision is otherwise normal. But as a kid, when I went to bed at night and closed my eyes, sometimes they’d cross. Don’t ask me why, they just did. The eye strain would make me dizzy, and that would give me nightmares. They were usually about falling from a height, like a tower or something. It never bothered me during the day until this one time when my Pop brought us to the city once when I was maybe six, and brought us up to City Hall tower to check out the view. My brain equated the height with the nightmares and scared the hell out of me.”

He exhaled and faced her, his focus strong. “I know where it’s from, Annie. This is why I see it as a lingering anxiety rather than a paralyzing fear. It still kicks in when I’m in open high places, regardless of how safe I actually am. I’ve felt it on Mount Laimora once or twice on a clear day, even, and that has such calm slopes! When I got older, I figured out that it’s a combination of not being able to accurately judge visual distances and sensing the pull of gravity to keep myself stable. Doctors call it a deficiency in postural control. I’ve never been able to completely shake it.”

Anna-Nassi tilted her head and slowly raised her brow. “That’s…huh.”

“I know,” he said, blushing. “It’s dumb and I hate it. It’s why I push through and deal with it.” He walked up to the railing again and leaned up against it. He even peeked over the side and gave the ground below a quick glance. “See? I’m not freezing up. I’m not terrified. Nervous, yes. But that’s it.”

“No, no,” she said quickly, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Not dumb at all. This is good! It’s really good, Dee! You face your fears and learn to understand them instead of running away from them. That is your strength! It also makes my job easier.”

“Your job?” he said, turning to her. “I thought your job was to cure me, or at least get my mind straight so I won’t freak out when I’m flying with Kaffi.”

“That’s what I’m talking about, Dee,” she said, giving him a wide grin. “I don’t know if I can cure you, but I can certainly help you find a way to make you strong. And you already know I wouldn’t throw you off this roof, that would just be mean.”

Diwa snorted. “Yes, it would!”

“What I see here, Dee, is this: You’re leaning up against this railing, slightly nervous but otherwise fine. And I think it’s because you’re familiar with these surroundings, these angles of the estate, and you trust them. What we need to do, then, is find you some high points where you can enjoy the view the way we mandossi and tintrite do.”

“Annie, I doubt you have access to every single tower in the community…” he laughed.

“No, but I do have access to certain ones thanks to my near-infinite number of relatives living around here! I think I know a way to help you get used to this.”

Diwa exhaled and looked out over the estate. A slow smile crept across his face. “Okay. I’m game,” he said. Then, after a moment, he turned back to her. “Why are you doing this, Annie? Why go so far out of your way to help me?”

The question surprised her, and she felt herself blushing, and her wings fluttered just a bit. “Me? I already told you. I love you and Kaffi, you know. I want the two of you to make it work, yeah?” She hummed and turned away. “I’m jealous of the two of you sometimes. But never in a bad way, though.”

“Jealous?” he said.

She nodded and fluttered her wings again. “I would love a connection like the two of you have.”

“You’ll find it soon enough,” he said, giving her a playful nudge. “I’m sure of it.”

She grinned and punched him lightly on the arm. “Yeah, sure. Loudmouth mandossi like me?”

“Especially a loudmouth mandossi like you,” he said, took her hand, and squeezed it.

*

Glossary:
“Nakakaloka ‘to…” — (Tagalog) “This is stupid…”